"We are not afraid of the future.
We are afraid of the past repeating itself.
"Loss, took my future and left me looking over my shoulder to see if what happened could happen again. Could more be taken from me?"
~Benjamin Allen
Tuesday's Trust
"Be Alive to All that is Good"
"And He personally bore our sins in his own body on the cross, so that we might be dead to sin and be alive to all that is good."
1 Peter 2:24a (J. B. Phillips translation)
~~~
Death has happened. It has colored all that we think and do now.
Our family is getting together today; our son Nathan who is living in Georgia is bringing his new girlfriend to Tennessee so that we might meet her and get to know her a little bit. Tommy and I, our other son Rollin, his wife Stephanie, and their baby girl Ellie are all going to meet him in a town about sixty miles away from here.
When Tommy mentioned to me that he might rent a van so that we could all travel together… what was my first thought? Horror of horror, it was,
"If something happened, and we are all riding together, it could knock out Nathan's whole family in one fell swoop!"
Oh my. PTSD rears its ugly head again. But, yes, we are different now; we know All Too Well that Death happens.
And yet, I am reading 1 Peter 2:24a, that our Savior Jesus bore death on the cross, "so that we might be dead to sin and be alive to all that is good."
Lord, please help me "be alive to all that is good" today, to celebrate life, to celebrate new relationships, to know that God conquered death that we all might live again ~ that Satan, despite his devastation, NEVER has the last word on God's children. Help me Lord to bask in Your love, not dwell on Satan's destruction.
If I dwell on the wrong thing, I will miss too much (and consume myself with worry) for my Lord *destroyed evil, death, destruction ~all heaped on us by Satan ~ so that His children may instead "be alive to all that is good…"
*(to be ultimately consummated)
God is Love. May His perfect love cast out all fear in my heart...
(That is definitely something that only an Almighty God can do!)
~Angie Prince, written 5/25/2014
"I see life differently through the lens of loss. When someone walks out the door, a thought sometimes comes, 'Will that be the last time I see them?'"
~Benjamin Allen
Graphics, thanks to grieving husband/father, Benjamin Allen / FB:
https://www.facebook.com/TheAfterloss/photos/a.450467991747451.1073741828.447234425404141/505851066209143/?type=1&permPage=1
https://www.facebook.com/TheAfterloss/photos/a.450467991747451.1073741828.447234425404141/506281719499411/?type=1&permPage=1
I feel that God speaks to me through your posts often. I was JUST talking with my counselor this morning about the traumatic grief stuff, as I tried to figure out why I've been struggling so much.
ReplyDeleteLast week, the baby and I were in an accident. Coming to a stop for a red light, and was hit from behind at about 50 mph. Thankfully, other than being sore for a few days, there were no injuries, and the cars can be repaired/replaced. I was okay until on the way home, when the reality of how close I was to just losing another child hit....my legs gave out, was nauseous, shaking, etc. All week long, I've struggled off and on with the horrible, debilitating anxiety...the tears haven't wanted to stop. But it wasn't so much the accident itself, but the feelings that came from the accident. The initial fear....scared to look back at Makenley for fear of what I would find, fear to let her sleep after. The helplessness and the inability in that very moment to protect my child and how close I could have been to losing her. (Our car was pushed through the middle of the intersection from the force of the impact....almost getting hit all directions) Totally different situations, but the feelings have triggered up so much inside me from Ari's death. The PTSD.........I think it's one of the worst parts of this loss. Bleh!
Anyway. Thanks for sharing your fears/traumas and prayers. I hope you enjoyed your visit with your son and his new girlfriend.