Welcome! I am Angie B. Prince, child of God, wife of Tommy, mother of 3, Grief and Trauma Life Coach, Psychotherapist, and Mother Grieving. On 8/2/2006, our precious 19-yr-old daughter Merry Katherine was killed along w/ 2 other teens via vehicular manslaughter. Here I share as we agonizingly process our grief and trauma. Email: MotherGrieving(at)gmail(dot)com. Coaching (Tommy or Angie): Call 865-548-4four3four / Counseling (Angie in TN) 865-604-9nine9two. I pray God will minister to you here.
Welcome! I am Angie B. Prince, child of God, wife of Tommy, mother of 3, psychotherapist and Mother Grieving.
Tommy and I met in graduate school in Atlanta, then married in 1979 and started a Christian Counseling/Coaching practice in Knoxville, TN where we still live. We have 1 daughter Merry Katherine, forever-19 in Heaven, 2 sons, Nathan (age 34) (wife Ashley), and Rollin (age 37) (wife Stephanie), and two granddaughters, Ellie and Penny.
In this blog, we process our grief over our Merry Katherine who was killed along with two other teens in a brutal car crash while on the way to the beach on 8/2/2006 (two teens survived). Having lost our daughter suddenly and violently on the cusp of launching her into adulthood, we were thrown into Complicated and Traumatic Grief. We share here our agonizing process of wading through the multiple twists and turns of shattered assumptions, challenged faith, traumatized body-soul-and-spirts, and devastated hearts. May our grief touch some of your own pain as we walk through this difficult but sacred ground together.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" Scientifically Documented!
1) Copy the http: address above the line below. . . .
2) Paste it into your web browser's address bar. . .
3) Hit Enter to find the article below.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080620195446.htm
___________________"Addicted To Grief? Chronic Grief Activates Pleasure Areas Of The Brain"
OR "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" Has Now Been Scientifically Documented!
. . . . . We now have physiological evidence via Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) that such "comfort" is indeed, a fact! In debilitating, complicated grief after the sudden death of a loved one, "comfort" was shown by significant nucleus accumbens activation in the brain's reward network!
When the ache is deep and the words won't come... God hears our heart's cry. He does our praying in and for us making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.
~~~
26 In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; ~Romans 8:26, New American Standard version, The Holy Bible
~Thanks to Vicky Pratt on Pinterest http://www.pinterest.com/pin/565553665677221398/
… I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed. I’ll put My Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by My commands.
Replace a stone heart with a God-willed heart,
E’er sensitive to Your Spirit in me.
I cannot do Your will, from You apart,
But can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.
My heart is broken; my spirit is sad.
Pour Your balm in my heart; let it seep through
Until my heart is healed, my spirit glad,
While my body, soul, spirit rest in You.
May I not march off in my strength alone,
Carrying burdens that aren’t mine to bear.
As I needed Christ, my sins to atone,
So I need the Vine, my heart to repair.
Since Jesus loves me the way You’ve loved Him,
Nurtures me in Love like a plant in soil,
Love flows through me like nutrients through th’ stem,
Reproducing Life from Love-fertile soil.
I didn’t choose You—You chose me t’ bear fruit—
I must abide in You, Love-enriched Root!
Rooted in Love produces Love’s off-shoot:
Eternal souls, Satan cannot uproot!
You designed me to bear fruit that won’t spoil;
I must feed on You, allow You to lead . . .
Your Spirit gives me strength Satan can’t foil—
I will go where You guide—with Godspeed!
Thou art the Vine; I am the branch; flow through
Me to touch other souls thirsty for You!
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.This is my command: Love each other.
~John 15:1-17NIV
*****
I've shared this with you before, and I'd like to share it again as it is a wonderful reminder of the challenges ahead of us to trust our loving Lord amidst our abject helplessness...
A grieving mother, Sharon Throop related the following:
We lost our only daughter, Wendy, (14) years ago (11/12/96). I was just sent a prose, that sums up so much for so many who walk this road. You may have read it before, but if not, send it on to some of your friends and realize that it sums up the loss of our children.
"Feel incomplete? Life in suspense? Can you accept the anxiety of not being in control, while trusting in the 'slow work of God, our loving Vine-dresser'?
"Can you 'give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete'?"
Pictures - Thanks to FotoSearch.com
Poem - Wasted? Or, Replenished to Bear Fruit? - Angie Bennett Prince - 6/2/2009
Scriptures in New International Version
Quote, thanks to Sharon Throop - who can be found on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523232095
Compassionate Friends has been very good to repeatedly tell us vulnerable Child-Loss grievers,
"Don't let ANYONE 'should' all over you. YOU decide what's best for you at all times."
Coming off the holidays, then the death of my mother, I had been getting all kinds of pressure about what I "should" be doing. And now, we have had another family event, upon which there was going to be a family get-together over that event (with a different part of family than the previous-mentioned events), and bless glory, here come the manipulative guilt-trips again... And this, from a person I generally like pretty much, is a likable person, and is usually a fairly sensitive person, but not this time...
WHAT?! I honestly don't think I could be this clueless with a grieving mother even before I became one.
WHO do these people think they are, and why are my feelings being treated like so much mincemeat for them to just step over before they kick me in the heart?
Why does no one hear my "NO"!? Is it because "It just isn't the answer we wanted to hear, so let's ignore it?"
It seems there's a grandiose judgmentalism out there that others think they know how to run my life better than I do. And over what? A party?! You've got to be kidding me. NOTHING about that is sacred. These people are majoring on the minors, and we can't even get the majors figured out thank you. Leave us alone so we can please try to get the majors figured out. YOU handle your minors if you think they are ALL important.
I have a new scale in my life, and none of the hoopla matters. What matters is what is real.
What gets put through the meat grinder when you lose a child is
"The world is predictable, and I'm in control."
And the rebound effect of that is -
"Things are chaotic, and I am helpless."
My emotions are FULL, thank you. If I have room left over for other family issues, I'll let you know. But don't you DARE presume that things surely are hunky dory by now when I still can't even function, much less have room to fulfill your social obligations you have set up for me.
And that's all they are folks. Social obligations. They are not litmus tests for how much I love, I assure you.
How do we get it through people's heads, our lives have been turned upside down and inside out?
When this same person taunted me that she started to come to my house to sing Christmas carols over the holidays (when we weren't up for coming over to their house for a get-together!) just to get us to come out of the house, wisely my son told them that wouldn't be a good idea...
I assured her he was right, then told her when someone comes over to my house without calling first, I not only go to the door with a loaded gun, I go to the door with that gun loaded AND cocked. Don't mess with my PTSD that can signal DANGER at any turn...
BEST not to MESS with a GRIEVING MOTHER, period!
******
Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand. For the Lord is able to make him stand.
One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God, and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord....
You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or, why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat... So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way... If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died...
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
Allow him t’ lure our child t’ such an ending, dour?
God, I cannot understand this side of Heav’n
How such a little lamb could be smitten
With such a deadly act of vile vengeance
By such (a) diabolical, treasonous Henchman.
. . . Until I reflect back on Heav’n’s own Lamb,
The Beloved Son of the Great I Am
Th’ Father’s own Perfect, Holy, Chosen One
Who was wounded, bleeding, beaten, broken,
Unmercifully slain ‘midst God’s abandon,
Not for sins o’ His own, but for my lamb’s ‘n my own.
My child, you won’t understand now, but know Him
Who died for you ‘n your lamb’s sorrow; just adore Him.
Child, this is a broken world, so broken,
My Own lamb had to break in, be broken:
You’ll see her again when by death you’re woken,
For He, for your lamb, by His death has spoken.
*****
He Will Carry Me
~Mark Schultz
I call, You hear me I’ve lost it all And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty
You’re strong I’m weary I’m holdin’ on But I feel like givin’ in But still You’re with me
Chorus: And even though I’m walkin’ through The Valley of the Shadow I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me And when all hope is gone And I’ve been wounded in the battle He is all the strength that I will ever need He will carry me
I know I’m broken But You alone Can mend this heart of mine You’re always with me
And even though I’m walkin’ through The Valley of the Shadow I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me And when all hope is gone And I’ve been wounded in the battle He is all the strength that I will Ever need He will carry me
He will carry me
And even though I feel so lonely Like I have never been before You never said it would be easy But You said you’d see me through the storm
And even though I’m walkin’ through The valley of the shadow I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me And when all hope is gone And I’ve been wounded in the battle He is all the strength that I will Ever need He will carry me
He will carry me
He will carry me
Poem - Helpless - Angie Bennett Prince - 1/13/2009
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