Tuesday's Trust - A Prayer for You, and a Revelation...

Tuesday's Trust

A Prayer for You, and a Revelation...

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

~Ephesians 3:14-21

Over the years of reading this Scripture, I had always wondered in reading it, "How is it that we might ever have the power to really grasp the depths of Christ's love for us?" How is such comprehension really possible? In reading this familiar Scripture this week, I became aware for the first time that God is also telling us another very critical answer to a mysterious dilemma. In this Scripture, God is telling us that He wants us to know His love…, that love... that surpasses all knowledge…! 

We have so many questions about our deceased child, questions many of which will not fully be answered this side of Heaven. So how is it we live with such vacuum of knowledge of that which we  feel we really need to know? God tells us here. 

Whenever I have pleadingly asked Him a question about my child, I have noticed that He doesn't always directly answer me; instead, He comes to me and meets me in my pain, and somehow there is an alchemy there, resulting in a transformation that takes place in my heart, such that my questions that were all-important in the moment are no longer so all important as I experience and am overwhelmed with being in the presence of God Himself, and of feeling such amazing and tender love toward me and toward my child, and suddenly, that IS enough. The questions just seem to melt into thin air.

And now, I see why. He tells us here, that love of His, of which He wants us to know the height and depth, the width and length, is the only thing in this world that can surpass all knowledge, to the point that the details really don't matter. His love is everything that our soul needs, that our hearts crave, that our minds melt in, that our bodies bask in, and that love is all that we really need to begin to heal the brokenness that has befallen us due to the drastic devastation of Hell's worst evil that can ever befall a mommy and daddy, for it is the only thing, the only thing, that could ever be enough to absorb such evil and satisfy its hungry jowls. And then He amazingly uses that extreme vulnerability in our hearts and souls, our bodies and minds, to draw us under His wing, to be touched by His love,  to experience the sweetness of His presence, which gives us hope for yet another day...

Picture, thanks to ~Daily Scripture Promises 

Monday's Mourning Ministry - "Father And Daughter" ~Paul Simon

Monday's Mourning Ministry

"Father And Daughter"

~Paul Simon

"Father And Daughter"

~Paul Simon

If you leap awake in the mirror of a bad dream

And for a fraction of a second you can't remember where you are

Just open your window and follow your memory upstream

To the meadow in the mountain where we counted every falling star

I believe a light that shines on you will shine on you forever

And though I can't guarantee there's nothing scary hiding under your bed

I'm gonna stand guard like a postcard of a Golden Retriever

And never leave 'til I leave you with a sweet dream in your head

[Chorus:]

I'm gonna watch you shine

Gonna watch you grow

Gonna paint a sign

So you'll always know

As long as one and one is two

There could never be a father

Who loved his daughter more than I love you

Trust your intuition

It's just like goin' fishin'

You cast your line and hope you get a bite

But you don't need to waste your time

Worryin' about the market place

Try to help the human race

Struggling to survive its harshest night

[Chorus 2x]

Father-Daughter Video: http://youtu.be/AzMh7zHir1I

Blessed Father's Day

Blessed Father's Day

A Poem for You Grieving Fathers

He Leaves the Porch Light On 

~by Grieving Mother kp 

He still watches out the window

He still leaves the porch light on

It's hard for him to comprehend 

His precious child is gone

He never saw it coming 

And it tore his world apart

He struggles now to hide the pain

He feels within his heart

If you ask him how he is

He'll tell you he's okay

But he hasn't been alright

Ever since that fateful day

He acts as if he still can cope

And they all think he is strong

But if they only knew the truth

They might think they are wrong

He carries on and hides his pain

Behind a smile that's changed

He's lost so many hopes and dreams

His life feels rearranged

He'll always think of times gone past

And leave the porch light on

And wonder 'bout what could've been

Now that his child is gone

He dreads the road that lies ahead

Without his child's bright smile

He knows that they will meet again

Though it will be awhile

So when you see him have a care

His eyes may be tear-blurred

Loss has torn his heart in two

From all that he's endured

Just sit with him and let him talk

At times just take his hand

It isn't 'words' he needs to hear

Just you… to understand

Thanks to Grieving Mother kp who graciously gave us permission to share her poem.

For more poetry by kp, visit ~Out of the Ashes / Facebook.com

Father's Day Card, author unknown

Picture: Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890) - 1888 Gauguin's Chair, thanks to Deborah Ondrejko - pinterest

Poem Video: http://youtu.be/W--D219AT3U

Saturday's Sayings - Thinking of Fathers Missed, and Grieving Fathers on Father's Day...

Saturday's Sayings

Thinking of Fathers Missed, and 

Grieving Fathers on Father's Day...

With love, to my precious father who is now in Heaven...

~~~~~

With love, 

to all the precious fathers who are now Grieving Fathers...

MY DAD IS A SURVIVOR

My dad is a survivor, too

which is no surprise to me.

He's always been like a lighthouse

that helps you cross a stormy sea.

But, I walk with my dad each day

to lift him when he's down.

I wipe the tears he hides from others.

He cries when no one's around.

I watch him sit up late at night

with my picture in his hand.

He cries as he tries to grieve alone,

and wishes he could understand.

My dad is like a tower of strength.

He's the greatest of them all!

But there are times when he needs to cry.

Please be there when he falls.

Hold his hand or pat his shoulder

And tell him it's okay.

Be his strength when he's sad

Help him mourn in his own way.

Now, as I watch over my precious dad

from the Heavens up above

I'm so proud that he's a survivor

And, I can still feel his love!

~ Kaye Des'Ormeaux (Written October 16, 1998 and dedicated to the dads who have lost a child.)

BROAD SHOULDERS

Strong and tall, with shoulders so broad,

bearing all that doesn’t come lightly.

Daddy lost his child today

and is sad and weary from the pain.

Being strong for all those around him,

giving a shoulder for them, on (which) to cry.

Smiling through a pain so strong,

finding it difficult and oh so long.

Wanting to weep, but showing a strength

that is constantly deep and ever solid.

Never knowing that a stray tear has escaped,

from the loving eyes full of pain.

Trusting that his family will be out of harm's way,

not able to save the life of his child.

He drowns in the heartache of memories past,

frowning with frustration of a life not saved.

Experiencing a pain that is so awfully deep,

it won't go away and he cannot sleep.

Waiting, waiting, waiting,

but not to return to his fold,

innocently left by his darling child.

Comforting the mother of his loved one true,

through the heartache, the pain and the searching.

She's yearning as much as he too,

shrouded by pain as deep as the ocean,

like waves crashing and pounding without an end.

Weeping in the arms of each other,

clutching tightly and grappling for fear of losing

all that is left of memories and goodness

found in the eyes of the child that was stolen by death.

Solace the feeling that lasts only a while,

Daddy is grateful for the time that he had.

Cannot accept his precious and kind child is gone,

praying and wishing for his return to his

Father that will love and miss him until the end of time.

Reeling from the darkness when times get bad,

Looking to the future living on a thread.

Feeling so helpless that he can't give the love of his life

the child that she lost to the universe of heaven.

Quietly grieving for the loss that he feels,

showing naught to others, while repressing the need

to shout and scream by pretending it's not real.

Frustration at the wild anger he keeps in check,

wanting it to stop to allow peace in his shattered heart.

Like a knife in his chest, so sharp like steel.

Hoping that it is a nightmare too terrible to be real.

Anger, hurt, pain, frustration, longing, sadness

Those are his feelings and thoughts everyday.

Wanting to touch his child who's so far away,

Never knowing when this will come to pass.

His arms are empty and light, wishing that he could

take flight to gather his child from deaths door.

Accepting forever the pain and heartache,

He will take to his grave.

Patiently waiting to meet again,

The child of his loins and rid himself of the pain.

Loving his family till the end of his days.

Not wanting to leave them, but part of him did the

day he said goodbye and scattered the ashes

of the loved one unique in his own special way.

Forever the Daddy to the others he'll be,

Not knowing when his time will be free,

To once again talk and reminisce with his

Child of the spirit life that he has lost.

~ Lesley Couzens, in loving memory of her son Leedon

HOW DO YOU?

How do you describe an empty heart

Or a mind that will not sleep?

How do you measure the depth of pain

Or the volume of tears that weep?

How do you find new direction

When life's compass has no reference points?

How do you energize listless limbs

With death's arthritic joints?

How do you see the future

Through a lens of opaque glass?

How do you reconcile her name

On a plaque of tarnished brass?

How do you rekindle interest

In a life that was complete?

How do you overcome loss and pain

And the desire for social retreat?

How do you explain to those you know

The pretense that you have to project?

How do you smile when expected to

But your facial muscles object?

How do you trust a God you once knew

Or the power of goodness and prayer?

How do you put your faith in his hands

When those hands threw the switch of despair?

How do you absorb the colors of Spring

Through eyes that see only black?

How do you control the endless pain

Of wishing she was back?

~ David T. Kerry

When a loss hits us,

we have not only the particular loss to mourn

but also the shattered beliefs and assumptions

of what life should be.

These life beliefs must be mourned separately.

Sometimes we must grieve for them first.

We can't grieve the loss if we are in the midst of

"It's not supposed to happen this way."

We intellectually know that bad things happen,

but to other people, not us,

and certainly not in the world we assumed we were living in.

Your belief system needs to heal and regroup as much as your soul does.

You must start to rebuild a new belief system from the foundation up,

one that has room for the realities of life

and still offers safety and hope for a different life:

a belief system that will ultimately have a beauty of its own

to be discovered with life and loss.

Think of a lifeless forest in which a small plant

pushes its head upward, out of the ruin.

In our grief process, we are moving into life from death,

without denying the devastation that came before.

~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler

(On Grief and Grieving : Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss)

"I don't think of him every day. I think of him every hour of every day." 

~ Grieving Father Gregory Peck, in an interview many years after his son's death

The famous psychiatrist Sigmund Freud once thought we could "move on" from our grief, and put our energies into a substitute of some sort… that is, until he lost his own daughter Anna. After that, he realized we Child-Loss parents will never get over the death of our child, as written to his friend in the above quote, recognizing that he himself, a Child-Loss father, would always be "inconsolable."

And, a Grieving Father's loving note 
to his child, now in Heaven...

Pictures and graphics, thanks to the following:

~Saatchi Online Artist Helena Eierzbicki, for acrylic painting of 2013, "Tormented"
~Grief The Unspoken
~I Miss Those Close To Me Who Are Now In Heaven As Beautiful Angels
~Out of the Ashes
~Journey of the Survivor (From Grief to Survival)
~Missing Loved Ones via ~Out of the Ashes
~In Loving Memory via ~WingsOfHopeLivingForward
~Grief The Unspoken
~The Social Butterfly
~Journey of the Survivor (From Grief to Survival)
~I Miss Those Close To Me Who Are Now In Heaven As Beautiful Angels
~Out of the Ashes
~The Far Side of the Rainbow
~The Far Side of the Rainbow
~The Far Side of the Rainbow
~The Far Side of the Rainbow
~The Far Side of the Rainbow
~Grief The Unspoken
~Out of the Ashes

Friday's Faith - A Grieving Father Writes…

Friday's Faith

A Grieving Father Writes…

My Old Friend, Grief

My old friend, grief is back. He comes to visit me once in a while just to remind me that I am still a broken person. Surely there has been much healing since my son died six years ago, and surely I have adjusted to a world without him by now. But the truth is, we never completely heal, we never totally adjust to the loss of a major love. We will be all right, but we will never be the same.

And so my old friend Grief drops in to say hello. Sometimes he enters through the door of my memory. Sometimes he sneaks up on me. I'll hear a certain song, smell a certain fragrance, or look at a certain picture, and I'll remember how it used to be. Sometimes it brings a smile to my face, sometimes a tear.

Some may say that such remembering is not healthy, that we ought not to dwell on thoughts that make us sad. Yet, the opposite is true. Grief revisited is grief acknowledged, and grief confronted is grief resolved.

But if grief is resolved, why do we still feel a deep sense of loss at anniversaries and holidays, and even when we least expect it? Why do we feel a lump in the throat, even six years after the loss? It is because healing does not mean forgetting, and because moving on with life does not mean that we don't take part of the deceased with us.

My old friend Grief doesn't get in the way of my living. He just wants to drop by and chat sometimes. In fact, Grief has taught me, over the years, that if I try to deny the reality of a major loss in my life, I end up having to deny life altogether. He has taught me that although the pain of loss is great, I must confront it and experience it fully or else risk emotional paralysis.

Old Grief has also taught me that I can survive even great losses and that although my world is very different after a major loss, it is still my world and life is worth living. He has taught me that when I am willing to be pruned by the losses that come, I can flourish again in season, not in spite of loss, but because of it.

My old friend, Grief, has taught me that the loss of a loved one does not mean the loss of love, for love is stronger than separation and longer than the permanence of death.

~Adolfo Quezada, from the Tucson, Arizona Daily Star

Picture, thanks to ~Hers To Treasure

Thursday's Therapy - Can We Repair Our Traumatized Brains? ~Article by Allen James

Thursday's Therapy

Can We Repair Our Traumatized Brains?

~Article by Allen James

Neuroplasticity is an amazing new theory which has proven one very incredible fact: Our brains can change. 

{Even though our Trauma from Child-Loss can destroy brain cells as can any severe trauma, scientists now know (thanks to our newly available brain technology) that our brains can grow new neurons! With proper care of our brains, we can enable our brains to self-repair!}

What this means for us is if you’re not very intelligent in one area – don't fret! 

You have the option to literally change the area of your brain (you're) not as strong (in) with just a bit of "brainercise"; 

our brain is (*like) a muscle – we need to give it a "work out" on a regular basis.

{*The brain is an organ not a muscle. I looked it up to be sure because this misnomer is a new "rumor" floating around the internet. According to Wiki, the brain indeed is not a muscle; it is an organ: 

"Anatomically the brain is not a muscle. (H)e is likely referring to the assertion that the brain follows the same rules as muscles do in the sense that it atrophies when left inert and continues to grow and strengthen the more it is stressed and supported with healthy diet and sleep."}

Brain-ercises:

Here are 8 "brainercises" which can feed the brain and increase intelligence:

• Be curious. Get into the habit of questioning everything. By being curious and questioning everything, we force our brain to create new ideas.

...

• Exercise regularly. It's been proven exercise helps to increase brain function and enhances neurogenesis. This means every time we exercise we are creating new brain cells.

...

• Do something new. Experiencing something new," stimulates the brain, creating new neural pathways, increasing intelligence.

...

• Train your memory. Discipline yourself to memorize, use the calculator in yur head instead of your cell phone.

...

• Think Positive. Stress and anxiety kill existing brain neuron and also stop new neurons from being created. Research has shown that positive thinking, especially in the future tense, speeds up the creation of cells and dramatically reduces stress and anxiety. Try and take control of negative thoughts, and make an effort to replace them with positive ones.

...

• Eat healthy. Our diets have a HUGE impact on brain function. Our brains consume over 20 percent of all nutrients and oxygen that we consume. So, remember to feed your brain with the good stuff! (Think fresh fruits and veggies and plenty of omega 3s found in oily fish.)

...

• Read a book. Reading relieves tension and stress (brain-cell killers), because it's a form of escapism. Research has also shown using our imagination is a great way to train our brain, because we force our mind to picture what we are imagining. Reading is a great way to trigger our imagination and fuel our creative genius.

...

• Get the sleep you need. Sleep is when our body regenerates cells and removes all the toxins which have built up during the day. Get to bed between the hours of 9 pm and midnight to benefit from the most effective hours of sleep!

Picture and Article:
http://calendarbooksbyallenjames.blogspot.com/2013/05/daily-reading-memorial-weekend-allen.html

Wednesday's Woe - Who Are We Now? ~Angie and Tommy Prince

Wednesday's Woe

Who Are We Now?

~Angie and Tommy Prince

We are almost seven years into our Child-Loss Grief and Trauma, yet we are still discovering who we are.

In Child-Loss, you lose more than just your child.

I've lost being able to relate to my family the way I used to, as some family members have gotten so toxic that I had to remove myself from any interaction with them. As I always say, "Trauma Mamas (and Papas) must avoid Drama Mamas (and Papas) at all costs!!!"

I've lost the ability to get a good, full-night's sleep within a consecutive number of hours; I can get the needed amount now, but I can count on there being breaks in between when I will need to process my grief over my child, or the grief caused by my secondary injuries (e.g., toxic family members saying hateful things because they totally misrepresent my grief and what it takes out of me.)

Assumptive beliefs have been challenged, and they have to be faced, re-worked and worked through so  as to discern which beliefs are true and which were a bill-of-goods that we unwittingly bought into but ultimately would yield us no good fruit. For instance, there are different translations of the Bible, God's Holy Word. Generally, that is a good thing, to be able to look at His Word from different perspectives. But there can be error swallowed without realizing it if we don't read carefully and within the context of the passage's original meaning. 

Look at any one version of the Bible, let's take The Message for example: Eugene Peterson wrote it, and the tome is an amazing accomplishment. Peterson seems to be an authentic Christian, loving God and living in a sweet personal relationship with Him, but when I as a griever read his translation of 1 John 5, as I read "the Evil One cannot touch" (our child), I was infuriated! 

Read this excerpt from The Message, out of 1 John 5:18-21:

"The God-begotten are also the God-protected. The Evil One can’t lay a hand on them. We know that we are held firm by God; it’s only the people of the world who continue in the grip of the Evil One."

Of course the Evil One can touch our child; she is dead because of him! The Evil One touched me because he killed my child! But I think the real meaning of God's Word is that the Enemy cannot touch my child's soul: once she belongs to God, which she does, she is His, and Satan cannot touch that relationship enough to destroy it forever. She is God's, and God protects the eternal soul of my child such that Satan cannot "touch" it, in an eternal sense anyway. 

We have made adjustments without really knowing… to try to survive, but the need for these adjustments really come to light when there's a "have-to" out there like a professional seminar that one MUST go to for professional ethics requirements to be met, or a living child's birthday that you don't want to miss just because of your grief and its constraints upon the body. These events, though wonderful opportunities in and of themselves, can at times be very destructive to the equilibrium we have striven to develop. 

For example, I got to the professional seminar today, and realized very soon into it (since I was able to get zero hours of sleep last night) that I could not concentrate to the degree I needed to retain the invaluable information, so I talked with the instructor. The instructor was very kind and compassionate and showed me some online options that have just opened up for this particular seminar which provide a way for me to achieve this professional continuing-education requirement within the confines of my own home!

Child-Loss presents us with many losses. There is the inordinate loss that comes just from the physical loss of our child that seems to throw all of our lives upside down, and turn them inside out. Then we have what we call the "Invisible Disability" that comes with such an inordinate loss with which we must continually grapple to undergo the "normal" constraints of life. Our health becomes compromised. Our daily functions become challenges. Our belief-systems have run amuck, but they are crucial to our facing our grief, finding our comfort, knowing who we are despite our shortcomings, and to receiving our most basic needs for God's love and involvement in our lives, so we find we must expend the necessary energy for our compromised belief systems to be overhauled and reworked. Life itself can be hard enough, but when you throw in all these complications, life itself becomes almost overwhelming.

"The tears flow from my heart and turn into a river.

The river has many bends, rocks and jagged

edges, waves, and reflections.

It reveals to me strength and surrender,

love never-ending,

and the new person emerging 

from this thing called grief.

Grief does not define me but 

it has transformed me."

~Shannon Brooks, grieving mother

~~~

Dear Lord

Posted on June 4, 2013 by Shannon

Dear Lord,

Please teach me how to be a mother to a child that is no longer in my arms but in yours. Teach me how to send sweet kisses up to the heavens to my beautiful baby. Let her feel my love and know how much she is missed.

Lord, please teach me to embrace my child when there is nothing here for me to hold except the memories and dreams for the future that have been shattered.

Lord, please teach me how to release my anger into the wind and let the rage echo into the night until it dissolves into the darkness, so I can sleep and wake with peace instead of pain.

Lord, please teach me how to release my guilt and struggle with my thoughts of what should have been. My thoughts have imprisoned me and taken me captive but I am ready to be freed to begin to allow love back into my life.

Lord, please teach me how to find the strength, to be patient with people when they say things that are so hurtful about my loss. Hopefully, they will never feel this anguish but maybe I can teach them the words that would allow me to feel embraced instead of attacked.

Lord, please teach me to discover the beauty that has been overgrown with pain. Please help me touch the beautiful roses without being pierced by the thorns. Allow me to see the beauty of heaven reflected in my daughter’s eyes.

Lord, please help me to let the tears fall until they form a river which can bring me to a new place of hope and renewal. Please show me how to open my heart and let love from friends and family pour in to display a rainbow of comfort, light, and support.

Lord, please send me sweet dreams where I can hear her sweet laughter tickling the air, where I can look deep into her beautiful eyes filled with pure joy, I can feel her arms wrap around my neck tightly, and I can whisper softly in her ear, “I Love you my sweet baby girl.”

Amen

~Written by Shannon Brooks in loving memory of Skylar Tianna Brooks

1st graphic, thanks to ~ 24.media.tumblr.com
2nd graphic, thanks to ~Grief - How Do We Go On?, and SeasonsOfGrief.com
3rd graphic, thanks to ~ SeasonsOfGrief.com

Tuesday's Trust - How Do We Trust When We Are the Least Trusting?

Tuesday's Trust

How Do We Trust When We Are the Least Trusting?

...because everyone who has been fathered by God conquers the world. This is the conquering power that has conquered the world: our faith. (1 John 5:4)

~~~

At every turn in the road one can find something that will rob him of his victory and peace of mind, if he permits it. Satan is a long way from having retired from the business of deluding and ruining God’s children if he can.

~Streams in the Desert

~~~

For we live by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

~~~

The Bible talks about the "old man" having passed away when we come to know Jesus as Savior; the "new man" has come. After Child-Loss, many experience the confusion of the "old Christian that I was" having seemingly "passed away"; the faulty assumptions were exposed, but now we are left to wonder what is true and what did we inadvertently swallow that was not true. Many people have written to us, and have answered by survey that within this Child-Loss Grief and Trauma, they have struggled to some degree with their faith in God.  

There is a crisis of faith at some level when there is an extreme trauma such as the death of a child. It is to be expected that all former assumptions of anything about the world are now questioned. Everything has been thrown up into the air so that we don't know who we are on a number of dimensions, whether it is our mind, our body, our brain, our heart, our soul, our spirit, our psychological make-up, our friends, our family, our church, our community, our very identity ~ who are we now, and where do we fit in? Who are we now in relation to God and how are we grappling with the great confusion brought on by the death of our child? 

The saddest part of it is, when we most need God, we feel confused by so much about Him in relation to such a tragic death. 

And God has always made it clear, He has already won the victory over death for us, and for our children, yet we are to trust in such victory "by faith," and faith by its nature is defined by scripture as 

" the confidence in what we hope for, and the assurance about what we do not see." 

Yet the loss of a child has thrown us into confusion such that so much of what we held onto by faith before the death of our child is all having to be reprocessed now ~ when the very fabric of our existence has unraveled, at the very same time we most need our faith to be the one sure thing in our life. It is a quandary with which we all grapple. 

We are called to trust at a time perhaps when we are the least trusting. And yet we know our God is the only one who could defeat death, and God is the only one who could destroy the Evil One who only wants to kill us and our children. Jesus plainly said, 

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

God calls us to cry out to Him for comfort, and for help, and He will meet us where we are, even if its in the midst of our confusion and doubt. He understands our agony; He too is a Child-Loss parent. He also knows we need to hold onto our faith most when all that we can "see" right now is so very dark. 

Graphic, thanks to spiritualinspiration.tumblr (dot) com

Monday's Mourning Ministry - My Last Question to Merry Katherine: "When Will I See You Again?" / Song by ~3rd Degrees - {with lyrics revised for grieving parents}

Monday's Mourning Ministry

My Last Question to Merry Katherine: 

"When Will I See You Again?" 

Song by ~3rd Degrees 

(with lyrics revised for grieving parents)

She was standing there on our patio, after having hugged me so tightly, and I had moaned, "I don't want you to go…!" She hugged me even tighter, but then broke away. I could feel her independence pulling her from my side; after all, she was 19, and she knew she was quite capable of going to the beach with friends…

She then hugged her daddy and was standing there talking and laughing

when suddenly I felt a strange haunting sensation spread over my heart, and I asked her what was to be my last question to her before that fatal night...

..."When will I see you again?!"

…Tonight, as I stumbled over this song from the 70's that I hadn't heard in forever, it immediately resonated and brought tears to my eyes, for it utters that same plaintive cry I had asked her that night, "When will I see you again?"…

When Will I See You Again?

~3rd Degrees

{lyrics revised for grieving parents}

Precious Moments…

When will I see you again?

When will we share precious moments?

Will I have to wait forever?

Or will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through?

When will I see you again?

When will our hearts beat together?

{Baby I love you, we're best friends…}

Is this {our} beginning or is this the end?

When will I see you again?

(When will I see you again?)

When will I see you again?

Precious moments...

{Baby I love you, we're best friends…}

Is this {our} beginning or is this the end?

When will I see you again?

(When will I see you again?)

Sweet sweet love of mine

When will I see you again?

Come, come tell me again

(When will I see you again?)

My sweet love,

When will I see you again?

Come on, come on

(When will I see you again?)

Come on, come on baby,

When will I see you again?

~~~~~

Pictures, thanks to "Grieving Mother" Barbara J. Karrer, and grieving mother, Diane Pippin via ~Rivers in the Ocean

Video: http://youtu.be/HUSYj5zq144

Saturday's Sayings - The Nature of Grief and Healing... - Part Two

Saturday's Sayings

The Nature of Grief and Healing...

Part Two

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You cannot rush your way

through grief. Grief unfolds

with the same exquisite

timing as the rose, left to

blossom on its own time, 

until the colors slowly fade

and the petals fall away of their own accord.

~Margaret Brownley

via ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

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I feel like this from time to time, until I recognize my grief simply mirrors my deep love and loss... 

and I realize, in feeling that intense love and loss, that it draws me closer to my child…

which draws me ever closer to God, crying out to Him...

as He draws near to me with His comfort and love...

and in such a place of grace and love, I feel that I am on holy ground…

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Where there is sorrow

There is holy ground.

~Oscar Wilde

There is a sacredness in the sorrow we feel when we lose our child. It is to be honored at all times.

~2012: Love and Loss and ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

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Somewhere in time, my beloved one,

Our hearts will meet again...

And what an extraordinary

moment

That will be..

~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

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Graphics, thanks to ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, ~2012: Love and Loss, ~MISS Foundation (dot) org