Monday, July 30, 2012

Tuesday's Trust - Coming Out of Our Spiritual Train-Wreck ~Tommy and Angie Prince

God may show you the way, but you still have to make the journey. It is not always easy, but you will arrive at your destination. Have faith in HIM.

Tuesday's Trust

Coming Out of Our Spiritual Train-Wreck

~by Tommy and Angie Prince

What is it about...

"In this world you will have trouble/suffering"

that we don't understand?

Look at Jesus' life ~God's own Son~ and you will see suffering. Even He was not exempt. Why then do we somehow think we are exempt?

Predominantly, what's being preached from behind today's pulpit is "blessings-and-prosperity," and "trouble-and-suffering" are treated as just minor inconveniences. There is a mindset ---  

"If you do everything right, you will be exempt from suffering, and all will turn out well," 

where it could be argued that the apostle Paul and the disciples looked forward to suffering. It is what happens when we stand against evil. 

The "normal" for the disciple of Christ then is suffering; the abnormal for His disciple is the absence of suffering.

If they listened to Me, they will listen to you. If they hated Me, then they will hate You. If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you. (John 15:20)

There is also a mindset in today's church that many of us Child-Loss Grievers have come up against that can be so completely demoralizing on top of our already considerable angst, and that is that 

"Any bad experience that might occur is one that should be overcome quickly and with little suffering, and 'victory' declared within a few months at most."

Child-Loss-Grievers' lives then become an anomaly that needs to be pushed into the shadows for no one to observe as our burden of grief is viewed as if it were an affront to God, as if we were one "cursed," certainly not blessed.

But God Himself says,
"Blessed are you that mourn for you will be comforted."

When fellow brothers and sisters in the faith avoid us, He Himself comes alongside to enter into our depth of pain, to ensure that we have His comfort.

If indeed "Normal" is defined as trouble-and-suffering for a child of God, in what then do we put our Hope?
If it is in our circumstances alone, then it follows we are in trouble spiritually as "we are of all people most to be pitied..."

1 Corinthians 15:19
... If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied...

But Jesus says,

In this world you WILL HAVE TROUBLE, BUT be of GOOD CHEER--- (Why? Because Jesus declares,) FOR I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD.

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

HE is our HOPE ~ not circumstances...



John 16:20 I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

John 15:20 Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his lord.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will keep yours also. (Root in WEB KJV WEY ASV DBY WBS YLT NAS RSV NIV)

Romans 12:12 rejoicing in hope; enduring in troubles; continuing steadfastly in prayer; (WEB)

2 Corinthians 4:17 For our present trouble, which is only for a short time, is working out for us a much greater weight of glory; (See NIV)

2 Corinthians 6:4 But in everything making it clear that we are the servants of God, in quiet strength, in troubles, in need, in sorrow, (BBE NIV)

2 Corinthians 7:4 My words to you are without fear, I am full of pride on account of you: I have great comfort and joy in all our troubles. (BBE NIV)

2 Corinthians 12:10 So I take pleasure in being feeble, in unkind words, in needs, in cruel attacks, in troubles, on account of Christ: for when I am feeble, then am I strong. (BBE)

Galatians 5:10 I have confidence toward you in the Lord that you will think no other way. But he who troubles you will bear his judgment, whoever he is. (WEB)

Galatians 6:2 Take on yourselves one another's troubles, and so keep the law of Christ. (BBE)

Ephesians 3:13 Therefore I ask that you may not lose heart at my troubles for you, which are your glory. (WEB BBE)

Colossians 1:11 Full of strength in the measure of the great power of his glory, so that you may undergo all troubles with joy; (BBE)

1 Thessalonians 3:3 So that no man might be moved by these troubles; because you see that these things are part of God's purpose for us. (BBE)

2 Thessalonians 1:4 So that we ourselves take pride in you in the churches of God for your untroubled mind and your faith in all the troubles and sorrows which you are going through; (BBE)

Hebrews 10:32 But give thought to the days after you had seen the light, when you went through a great war of troubles; (BBE)

James 5:11 We say that those men who have gone through pain are happy: you have the story of Job and the troubles through which he went and have seen that the Lord was full of pity and mercy in the end. (BBE)

1 Peter 5:7 Putting all your troubles on him, for he takes care of you. (BBE)

1 Peter 5:9 Do not give way to him but be strong in your faith, in the knowledge that your brothers who are in the world undergo the same troubles. (BBE)

Revelation 2:9 I have knowledge of your troubles and how poor you are (but you have true wealth), and the evil words of those who say they are Jews, and are not, but are a Synagogue of Satan. (BBE)

2 Corinthians 4:9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; (KJV DBY WBS YLT NAS RSV NIV)

1 Thessalonians 3:4 For most certainly, when we were with you, we told you beforehand that we are to suffer affliction, even as it happened, and you know. (See NIV)

2 Timothy 3:12 And indeed every one who is determined to live a godly life as a follower of Christ Jesus will be persecuted. (WEY DBY YLT NAS RSV NIV)

Revelation 3:21 To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.

Revelation 7:17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

Hebrews 11:37 They were stoned. They were sawn apart. They were tempted. They were slain with the sword. They went around in sheep skins and in goat skins; being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (See NIV) 

Revelation 12:11 They overcame (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Scriptures, thanks to
BBE = Bible in Basic English

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Monday's Mourning Ministry - The Hurt and the Healer ~MercyMe

I believe in the sun even when it is not shining.
I believe in love where feeling is not.
I believe in God even if He is silent.

Inscription on walls of cellar in Cologne, Germany where Jews hid from the Nazis.

Monday's Mourning Ministry

The Hurt and the Healer


The Hurt and the Healer


The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from the explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I've fallen into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the Healer collide

Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I've fallen into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the Healer collide

It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the Healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the Healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the Healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here...

Picture, thanks to "Grieving Mothers"

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Saturday's Sayings - The "new Normal," Part Three

Saturday's Sayings
The "new Normal," 
Part Three







All graphics, thanks to Death of a Loved one; Quotes, Poems, and Resources's Photos 

Friday, July 27, 2012

Friday's Faith - Come, Sweet Comforter

Friday's Faith

Come, Sweet Comforter

Could it be Your will as it was for Your Son...
"To crush (me) and cause (me) to suffer"
Under the weight of this burden of grief
After losing my child, my little one?

And though not the death, but the number of days,
That were set for my child, my precious one~
Could these be a part of Your Heavenly ways?
If this be Your path, if t'were Your path, then I dare not shun...

But God, how to live with this heavy heart
That grieves every day since she did depart~
How do I live, even though I die
When the life was cut down of "the apple of my eye"?

Only You ~Divine Creator~ can create a path
Through these ruins that lie beneath Death's crater;
For it seems this darkness threatens to overtake,
Living in this, The Shadow, of the Vile One's wrath.

"Even the darkness is not dark to You
As the night will shine like the day
For darkness is as light to You."

I look to You Lord, to light up my way,
Sprinkled with Grace as though refined by fire
As I walk everyday in the muck of Death's mire,
For it's only in the crucible that You meet us in the fire,
And in the crucible of the Crucifix, only You can show the way...

Come to me Lord; hold me close to Your heart,
For my heart forever breaks since my baby did part...

Come, sweet Comforter, come ~Please come~
Hold me in Your arms; take me safely through the Shadow,
Guide me all the way Home.


Isaiah 53:10 NIV
Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes His life a guilt offering, He will see His offspring and prolong His days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in His hand.

Psalm 139:15-16 NIV
My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in Your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:11-12 NIV
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to You;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to You.

Zechariah 2:8 Douay-Rheims Bible
For thus saith the Lord of hosts: After the glory he hath sent me to the nations that have robbed you: for he that toucheth you, toucheth the apple of my eye:

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings...

Isaiah 40:11b NIV
He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to his heart;

Poem - Come, Sweet Comforter - Angie Bennett Prince - 7/22/2012

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Thursday's Therapy - "Is Mourning Madness?"

Grief is a profound emotional process with very real biological symptoms that can endure for months {as child-loss grievers, we would say grief can endure for years and even a life-time...}.

Thursday's Therapy

"Is Mourning Madness?"

Is Mourning Madness?
The wrongheaded movement to classify grief as a mental disorder.

By Leeat Granek and Meghan O'Rourke
Posted Monday, March 12, 2012, at 6:45 AM ET

Is grief a disease? That is one of the crucial questions psychologists are asking as the American Psychiatric Association revamps its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), used by millions of mental health professionals to diagnose patients, for a fifth edition due out in 2013.

A group of psychiatrists have spearheaded a movement to include ongoing grief as a disorder, to be labeled “complicated” or “prolonged grief.” Others have proposed, separately, that a mourner can be labeled clinically depressed only two weeks after the loss of a loved one. The problem with both potential changes is that more people’s grief will be diagnosed as abnormal or extreme, in a culture that already leads mourners to feel they need to just “get over it” and “heal.”

In January, more than 10,000 mental health professionals, concerned about the credibility of the science behind several proposed additions to the manual, including the potential addition of complicated grief, have signed a petition calling for an "independent review"  of the DSM-5. Their concerns are worth taking seriously. Grief, even the ostensibly extreme variety that the DSM might include, is a universal and normal human reaction to the loss of a loved one. Unlike most disorders in the manual, it is a condition we will all experience. It is not a disease and it has no place in a book dedicated to listing mental disorders. In a culture that has largely turned grief into a private experience rather than a communal one, the decision to include grief in the DSM risks doing more harm than good, making it easier than ever to view those who are simply experiencing a painful rite of passage as abnormal.

A major problem with the proposal is that the symptoms of complicated or prolonged grief—such as yearning, sorrow, and sadness—look much the same as those of normal grief. The new diagnosis, spearheaded by two professors of psychiatry, Katherine Shear and Holly Prigerson, at Columbia and Harvard University respectively, would likely characterize complicated grief as a constellation of symptoms that can include intense feelings of sadness, bitterness, and loneliness; difficulty sleeping and concentrating, and detachment and agitation, among others. (Shear and Prigerson each have different definitions; it’s not yet clear what version would be adopted if it were included.)

But at least one large study found that these feelings were experienced by most mourners. And a survey we conducted on grief for Slate found that, out of nearly 8,000 people, the vast majority reported symptoms that resemble those of complicated grief. For example, 81 percent experienced sorrow; more than 72 percent reported overwhelming sadness, yearning, and nostalgia; and close to 60 percent reported trouble sleeping and feelings of longing. Even the advocates of including complicated grief in the DSM acknowledge that there is little qualitative difference between normal and pathological grief.

If the symptoms of complicated grief don’t look any different than those of normal grief, how can we tell the two apart? Right now, advocates for its inclusion argue that the major clinical difference between the two has to do with the duration of these symptoms. In their view, complicated grief can be identified as early as six months after a loss. But research indicates that many people are still in the grips of their grief at this point: In the Slate study, a quarter said they felt normal only “one to two years” after the loss. A mere 30 percent of the respondents reported feeling “normal” or symptom-free again within six months after a major loss. Another large study conducted by George Bonanno and his colleagues at Columbia University found that many mourners reported a long grieving process, with symptoms waning anywhere from six months post-loss to 18 months post-loss.

So what are the downsides of treating grief as a disease? For one thing, more people will be prescribed antidepressants that can have adverse physical and psychological side effects, including increased risk of suicide and addiction and withdrawal problems. (To date, the research has consistently shown that grief counseling and medications do not alleviate grief; they seem most helpful in the cases of people who had pre-existing mental health issues.) It also means that more people will feel shame and embarrassment about not grieving “properly” or getting over their loss fast enough. And the very language of “symptoms” and “duration” seems only to further diminish the significant event that precipitated these feelings in the first place—the death of a beloved person who can’t be replaced.

The inclusion of the diagnosis would be less troubling if we lived in a culture that better understood the fact that grief takes time—and knew how to support it. People used to wear mourning clothes for a year or more, and many cultures have mourning rituals that cluster around the first anniversary of a death. But in the 20th century, Americans began to see the experience primarily as a private and a psychological one rather than a communal one, popularizing Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ tidy “stage theory” of grief (which moves from “denial” to “acceptance”), and valorizing a “muscling-through-it” approach, to damaging effect.

The truth is that grief is a profound emotional process with very real biological symptoms that can endure for months. For many mourners, grief brings with it feelings of isolation, since a person who occupied a crucial role in your life is gone. It’s easy to see how turning grief into a disease could lead to further feelings of being out of step with those around you—a feeling that already haunts many mourners.

It would be a shame for this to happen. Grief is part of what it means to be human—one of our most significant rites of passage. The majority of mourners do not need medical treatment. They need love, compassion, patience, and a little bit of understanding from their friends, families and colleagues. The truth about grief is that it hurts. It can hurt for a long time—even for years.

That’s because grief is intricately bound up with love. 

As Thomas Lynch elegantly put it,

“Grief is the price we pay for being

close to one another.

If we want to avoid our grief, 

we simply avoid each other.” 


Wednesday's Woe - Are We All Ruined?

Wednesday's Woe
Are We All Ruined?

"Even if he didn't kill them, he still should die. He's ruined now that his sister is dead."
"By that same logic, I should die because my sister is dead, and I'm ruined."
~Sharp Objects: A Novel by Gillian Flynn, p. 236

Are we all ruined,
by your death I mean?
Living but scarred,
a terrible scene.
Parents and siblings,
death's toll it takes,
Living but dying,
attending our wakes.

Are we all ruined,
by your death I mean?
Parents and siblings
ever grieving, lives spent,
living our deaths,
a terrible scene...

Picture, thanks to

Poem - Are We All Ruined? - Angie Bennett Prince - 7/22/2012

Monday, July 23, 2012

Tuesday's Trust - In Loss, We Are Drawn to Him...

Tuesday's Trust
In Loss, We Are Drawn to Him...

Fearing to launch on "full surrender's" tide,
I asked the Lord where would its waters glide
My little bark, "To troubled seas I dread?"

"Unto Myself," He said.

Weeping beside an open grave I stood,
In bitterness of soul I cried to God:
"Where leads this path of sorrow that I tread?"

"Unto Myself," He said.

Striving for souls, I loved the work too well;
Then disappointments came; I could not tell
The reason, till He said, "I am thine all;

Unto Myself I call."

Watching my heroes---those I loved the best---
I saw them fail; they could not stand the test,
Even by this the Lord, through tears not few,

Unto Himself, me drew.

Unto Himself! No earthly tongue can tell
The bliss I find, since in His heart I dwell;
The things that charmed me once seem all as naught;

Unto Himself I'm brought.


~from Streams in the Desert, by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman (1925)

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Broken ~Seether and Amy Lee from Evanescence

Monday's Mourning Ministry


~Seether & Amy Lee from Evanescence 

I wanted you to know that
I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away...
I keep your photograph and
I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Seether and Amy Lee:
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You gone away, you don't feel me here anymore

Amy Lee:
The worst is over now 
And we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn
And no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Amy Lee and Seether:
Cause I’m broken when I'm open 
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome 
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away


Cause I’m broken when I'm open 
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away...

~Shorter Instrumental~

Cause I’m Broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone...

You gone away, you don’t feel me here anymore

Pictures, thanks to iStock and several grieving mothers

Video -

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Saturday's Sayings - The "new Normal" - Part Two

Saturday's Sayings

The "new Normal" 

Part Two







Aurora graphic, thanks to grieving mother J. W. T.
Pictures and Quotes, thanks to "Death of a Loved one: Quotes, Poems, and Resource's Photos

Friday, July 20, 2012

Friday's Faith - We Go to Clean Your Room Today

Friday's Faith
We Go to Clean Your Room Today

We go to clean your room today;
The unpleasant task, it must be done ~
(We must make room~Mother's furniture is on its way.)
So why do I wonder that my heart now weighs a ton ~
For, we both fear, as we clean along the way
Echoes of Silence will leave us quite undone...

{To tackle a major project of this kind,
I must go before the Lord to get His perspective ~
(Mine is entrapped within my broken heart.)}

And this is His response:

Set up your world to serve the Unseen in Heaven,
Your child is not absent, she's even more present
As she now can come to you in spirit form!

Be sure that the bread you "eat" is unleavened
That it may go with you into the Heavenly land.
There is much work to do ahead
You do not serve your purposes, but Mine instead,

For it is My Kingdom come, My Will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven --
Take your eyes off of the temporary,
Let My Spirit flow through you to bring hope to your dread,
For your child is among the living; she is not among the dead!


Background Scripture and Commentary:

Luke 20:38 ASV
Now he is not the God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him.


Matthew 22:32 (New International Version) 
I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is not the God of the dead but of the living."

For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living,.... See Gill on Matthew 22:32.
for all live unto him. The Persic version, reads, "all these live unto him"; namely, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; for though they are dead to men, they are not to God; their souls live with him, and their bodies will be raised by him: he reckons of them, as if they were now alive, for he quickens the dead, and calls things that are not, as though they were; and this is the case of all the saints that are dead, as well as of those patriarchs. The Ethiopic reads, "all live with him"; as the souls of all departed saints do....

For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all {i} live unto him.
(i) That is, before him: a saying to take note of, for the godly do not die, though they die here on earth.

22:32 I am the God of Abraham. See Ex 3:6. God does not say, I was, but I 'am' the God of Abraham, and of Isaac, and of Jacob. The present tense shows that he is still the God of the departed patriarchs, and that they are still in existence.
God is not the God of the dead, but of the living. Queen Victoria is not the queen of Bacon, Shakespeare and Ben Jonson, but only of her living subjects. The Savior teaches that the soul is resurrected when it leaves the body, and that there is no unconscious state between death and the final resurrection of the body.


Acts 7:30-32
“After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the desert near Mount Sinai. When he saw this, he was amazed at the sight. As he went over to look more closely, he heard the Lord’s voice: ‘I am the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.’ Moses trembled with fear and did not dare to look.

I am the God of Abraham - Let it be observed, that Abraham was dead upwards of 300 years before these words were spoken to Moses: yet still God calls himself the God of Abraham, etc. Now Christ properly observes that God is not the God of the dead, (that word being equal, in the sense of the Sadducees, to an eternal annihilation), but of the living; it therefore follows that, if he be the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, these are not dead, but alive; alive with God, though they had ceased, for some hundreds of years, to exist among mortals. We may see, from this, that our Lord combats and confutes another opinion of the Sadducees, viz. that there is neither angel nor spirit; by showing that the soul is not only immortal, but lives with God, even while the body is detained in the dust of the earth, which body is afterwards to be raised to life, and united with its soul by the miraculous power of God....

Poem - We go to clean your room today - Angie Bennett Prince - 7/19/2012
Scriptures, thanks to

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Thursday's Therapy - 11 Tips for Improving Much-Needed Sleep

Thursday's Therapy

11 Tips for Improving Much-Needed Sleep

From time to time, getting good sleep can be difficult for us all amidst our Child-Loss Grief and Trauma. Lack of sleep can lead to a loss of energy, a susceptibility to a variety of sleep deprivation ailments, and a weakened immune system. The following are helpful tips to soothing our minds, hearts and souls, as well as bodies for that needed rest:

  • As difficult as it is...try to go to bed at the same time each evening to establish your shut-eye pattern. If your regular pattern (from before-grief days) triggers you, a slight change in time might be appropriate. If unable to sleep, get up, do something, and then try going back to bed again.
  • Your daily walk will facilitate going to bed at your normal time. Plan a specific time each day to stimulate your physiology with a brisk twenty-minute walk. If you have the energy, make it longer. However, make sure your exercise plan is a good three hours before bedtime, as your body needs time to unwind.
  • It can help to meditate or do some reading an hour before bedtime to help calm down. Shut off all radios and televisions (and computers). Once in bed, make every attempt to hand all worry over to your Higher Power.
  • Stop caffeine consumption after 3:00 p.m., and avoid snacks, especially sugary foods and grains before bedtime.
  • Be sure your room is completely dark and all light from the outside is kept out with drapes or blinds. Light can block needed melatonin production. When you have to get up to go to the bathroom, use a penlight or book-light to find your way to the bathroom door. Or put a nightlight in the bathroom and leave the door partially open.
  • Do not watch TV or use your computer while lying in bed. Make your bedroom for sleep only. Remove your computer from the bedroom, if that's where you have it.
  • It will help to have a sleep mask available to you if you are awake at the crack of dawn, especially if you do not have blackout curtains or drapes in your bedroom. Use it and try to go back off to sleep. Try to think of gratitude memories.
  • It is worth trying herbal sleep remedies such as valerian, hops, lemon balm, and passionflower. There are also preparations of melatonin (produced by the pineal gland to regulate sleep patterns) and 5-HTP (a byproduct of tryptophan, an amino acid that helps produce the feel-good molecule serotonin for relaxation) that have proven helpful. Tart cherries or cherry juice (no sugar) are also rich in melatonin and may help your insomnia. 
  • As unusual as it may seem, try wearing socks to bed. Increased blood flow from warmth in the extremities induces sleep for many. 
  • If you are always worrying or thinking about what you must do tomorrow, place a pen and paper on your nightstand. Thoroughly write up each item, then let them go, so you can go off to sleep knowing you can tackle them tomorrow.
  • Once in bed, take some deep abdominal breaths where you breathe in slowly through your nose, using a four-count (one thousand one, one thousand two, etc.). Fully inflate the lungs (we are all shallow breathers), and let the inhalation push your stomach out slightly, as the diaphragm drops down. Stretch your lungs. Hold for a three-count. Then release the air naturally through your mouth on a four-count (later, increase exhalation to a six-count). Visualize breathing in healing energy and tension going out of your body with the exhalation. Start with these four-three-four counts, and then adjust the counts to what feels most comfortable.

One of the most recommended and consistently effective ways to deal with the grief and anxiety of a major loss is getting your mind and body to slow down through conscious deep abdominal breathing. Specifically, deep breathing moves oxygen and lymphatic fluid throughout the body. Dr. James Gordon, clinical professor at the Georgetown University School of Medicine says, 

"Slow deep breathing is probably the best anti-stress medicine we have."

~ from Healing Grief, Finding Peace: 101 Ways to Cope With the Death of Your Loved One 
by Dr. Louis E. LaGrand

Picture from

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Wednesday's Woe - On Our 2,177th day of grief...Anniversary Syndrome Rears Its Ugly Head ~by Tommy Prince

Wednesday's Woe

On Our 2,177th day of grief...

Anniversary Syndrome Rears Its Ugly Head

~by Tommy Prince

From "Silent Grief - Child Loss Support":

Child loss isn't a temporary sad thing. Child loss is a forever heartbreak. There are no vaccines to protect us from the pain, nor is there anything to keep the pain from recurring throughout our entire lifetime. The phrase, "I'll be so glad when you get over this" should be wiped out and never used because it simply does NOT apply to child loss!!!! The loss of a child is something we will never "get over"!

~thanks to grieving mother, C. W.

The silent grief is making a lot of noise inside me. We are 15 days away from our child's death date, and the symptoms of 'Anniversary Syndrome' are already rearing their ugly heads. 

There's a sadness that's come over me that is making it difficult for me to even hold my head up. The fatigue is keeping me from being able to do what I want to do during the day. I only want to talk to people that I have to talk to. There's no energy to deal with any extra contact. My emotions are extremely tender... and testy; the short fuse is back. I go through periods of having a short fuse with myself and others, and I am back in that state. I am 'out of it' such that I am not as aware of my external surroundings as I need to be because my internal condition is demanding my all. So a couple of days ago, I unwittingly slammed my toe into the side of some wooden steps, and I could hear the ligaments around it snap. All because I am in a daze, caught up in the stupor of grief.

I am doing all the things I can to try to take care of myself by getting rest, exercise, etc. But this is a sadness and despair that I can't 'wish' away, or 'manage' away. The death date is coming, and there is nothing I can do about it. 

As "Silent Grief" so wisely stated,

Child loss isn't a temporary sad thing. 

Child loss is a forever heartbreak.


And so does a Dad....

Quote, thanks to grieving mother, C. W.
1st picture, thanks to grieving mother, B. J. K.
2nd picture, thanks to grieving mother,  J. W. T.
3rd picture, thanks to grieving mother, I. E.