Monday's Mourning Ministry - Goodnight Sweetheart ~Bing Crosby

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Goodnight Sweetheart

~Bing Crosby

I dedicate today's song, "Goodnight Sweetheart" in loving sympathy over the loss of Pamela Palmer Mutino's daughter, Maria…

I am currently reading about precious Maria in Pamela's book, 

-S-W-I-S-H- Maria in the Mourning. In her book, Pamela tells about having a heart-wrenching premonition as she sleepily awakened to hear Bing Crosby's otherwise endearing song, "Goodnight Sweetheart" in what, ultimately as it turned out, was just days before her 23-year-old daughter died… At the time, she could not sort out what her horrendous premonition was trying to tell her...

As I listened to Bing's song a couple of times, I found I was weeping right along with Pamela for both of our beautiful daughters…

(For a sense of what the book ~and its unusual title~ is about, there are some excerpts from reviews of Pamela's book at the bottom of this post.) Thank you Pamela for sharing your recent comment with us, enabling us to mourn right along with you for your precious child, along with our own...

Goodnight Sweetheart

~Bing Crosby

Goodnight sweetheart, 

'til we meet tomorrow 

Goodnight sweetheart, 

sleep will banish sorrow 

Tears and parting may make us forlorn 

But with the Dawn a new Day is born 

So I'll say goodnight sweetheart, 

though I'm not beside you 

Goodnight sweetheart, 

still my love will guide you 

Dreams enfold you 

and in each one I'll hold you 

Goodnight sweetheart, 

Goodnight 

The day is over and it's cares and woes 

In peaceful sweet repose, will fade and die 

A dreamy dreamland beckons you and me 

How happy life would be if we could dream forever 

Whistling Interlude...

[spoken]: 

So I'll say goodnight sweetheart 

even though I'm not, I'm not always right beside you 

I'll still say goodnight, goodnight sweetheart 

I want you to know that my love, 

My love will always guide you 

And dreams enfold you, 

In each one I'll hold you 

Goodnight sweetheart, 

Goodnight...

~~~~~

Excerpts (found on Amazon) from three reviews of

-S-W-I-S-H- Maria in the Mourning, by Pamela Palmer Mutino:

"One minute a mother is relishing the swishing sound of a wedding dress in anticipation of her daughter's wedding. Almost the next minute, it seems, she is mourning the death of that same daughter to horrific addiction and overdose of heroin. It's enough to make her imagine that (an) ornament-less, six-foot Christmas tree is the perfect size of a heroin dealer which she attacks with unmitigated rage...."

~Viviane Crystal, Vine Voice

~~~

"A talented writer, Mutino is also a (playwright), and as she tells in her book, she had no intention of ever writing anything. But she knew at some point her writing was her way of working through her personal tragedy. The best way to do justice to such a beautiful and emotional story is to end with Mutino's words.

"'I only knew that there was a story in me that was going to haunt me until it was in print. I did not want pity for my suffering. I wanted Maria's beautiful spirit to live on in such a way that others would connect to their own truths, when it came to loving, losing, living, dying and moving on.' -Pamela Palmer Mutino, Swish: Maria in the Mourning"

~Neil and Tracy, www.bookroomreviews.com 

~~~

"I saw the play first and just had to have the book. Pam Mutino's writing style touches the heart in such a profound way. This is such a beautiful tribute to her daughter. A child remains a part of you forever whether she is with you still in this life or not. I recommend this book to anyone who loves, but that is sometimes all we can do.

~C. Westerman

~~~~~

Video: http://youtu.be/i9FIgfH0kLY

Tuesday's Trust - Love Conquers All

Tuesday's Trust

Love Conquers All

Perhaps Love is more important than life. We are taught by the addiction specialists,

"Don't enable your child."

And while that may be important at some level, perhaps love is more important even than life. Love conquers all. Our child's heart and soul lasts forever. Life comes and goes and is replaced by new Life when our child is connected to the One who is Love.

Perhaps I deified "life" too much. Perhaps I turned my child's "life" into an idol to protect it more than protecting her heart with my love.

I fought my love for her, fearing it would hurt her life! (I could be manipulated by her "addictive" ploys, and it might cost her her "life," I told myself.)

So I implemented "tough love" to save her "life." But her heart was hurt, and her soul was put at risk. Fortunately, God's love is bigger than ours, and He went out to the farthest corners to "go after the lost sheep until He found it.*" (And in doing so, He was true both to His own heart AND was answering our desperate prayers cried out in love for our child.)

So when she lost her "LIFE" which I was valuing above all, I felt like a complete failure at some level (and still fight this). (At other levels, I understood I am not God and I cannot prevent catastrophes from happening, but still, my attempts at love and discipline did not save her "life.")

God got my attention enough to help me share our deep love with her two nights before she was killed. She and I hugged so tightly before she left.

Love conquers all...

It wasn't enough to save her "life" but it was enough to save her "love" and her "soul." (She came by the house on the day she was ultimately killed and recorded a c.d. full of songs that indicated her heart was turning back to God.)

And God, who is so much bigger and stronger than I, saved her "love," her "soul," and her eternal "Life."

She is with Him; she is safe; she is alive; her soul is safe, and

she is in the arms of Love forever.

Love conquers all.

*Luke 15:3-7

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."

Wednesday's Woe - Overcome by "Weeds" in Grief ~by Tommy and Angie Prince

Wednesday's Woe

Overcome by "Weeds" in Grief

~by Tommy and Angie Prince

"Weeds" in our child's life took her life

as the driver of the crashed car was drugged.

Unable to kill the "weeds" in her life cuts like a knife:

Our daughter was killed soon after we last hugged.

Mowing the grass is now a chore since the day

the policeman dropped by, coming into

my backyard as I was mowing my grass

with the devastating words he would say...

We had burned our grass to destroy our weeds

so the yard was burned black like our hearts

as the people came by to do condolence-deeds

on the blackest day Heaven imparts...

A month to kill weeds,

Two weeks to till the dirt,

Then we plant the seeds,

All the while we hurt.

The grass came up so pretty

Just like once did our beautiful child...

Now with a summer of drought

Weeds overtake and destroy,

...Just as they did our child.

Picture - Thanks to @LillyAnn

Poem - Overcome by "Weeds" in Grief - Angie Bennett Prince - 9/14/10

Monday's Mourning Ministry - This is God

Monday's Mourning Ministry

This is God

This is a hard post to view for many of us, so I want to forewarn you. For those of us who have lost a child, there are graphics in this video that may trigger you, depending on the circumstances of your child's death. For example, there are a couple of slides with signs of death: a car crash, and another of crosses along the side of the road. There are also slides connoting drugs and alcohol.

But, if you can hang in there, I think this video does a great job of showing the love that our Father God has for us. It shows His angst as He watches His children making their mistakes that often have some dreadful consequences. And it shows how He longs for us to come to Him for help as we face the struggles and temptations in this world...

**********

Merry Katherine and I were riding together on our way to the beach in August of 2005, and she had just bought the CD "Believe." She asked me to listen to it with her. The song, "This is God" was on the CD she played for me. The song is very significant to me in terms of its revealing Merry Katherine's heart and spiritual struggle ...

I remember within the first few lines being quite surprised at how pertinent these cries from God were to her life as she had been dabbling in the drug and alcohol world. How significant that she wanted me, her mommy, to hear them...

And since it was difficult for her to express her feelings, I think her having me listen to this CD was her way to "talk" about this very difficult subject with me. It helped me to get a glance at her struggle AND at how her loving Heavenly Father was reaching out in love to warn her of the severe consequences that could come with such choices...

Hey this is God

Could I please have your attention

There's a need for intervention

Man, I'm disappointed in what I'm seeing...

...(You) treat life like its a foolish game

Well I say you've got the wrong idea

Oh, all I'm asking for is love

Well I've seen you hurt yourselves enough

Oh, I've been waiting on a change in you...

I know your every thought, your heart and soul and every move

There are so many consequences to the things you do!

Oh all I'm asking for is love

Haven't you hurt yourselves enough

Oh, I've been waiting on a change in you...

This is God

by Phil Vassar

Lyrics

Hey this is God

Could I please have your attention

There's a need for intervention

Man, I'm disappointed in what I'm seeing

Hey, this is God

You fight each other in My name

Treat life like its a foolish game

Well I say you've got the wrong idea

Oh, all I'm asking for is love

Well I've seen you hurt yourselves enough

Oh, I've been waiting on a change in you

Hey this is God

I've given everything to you

Oh but look at what you do to the world that I created

This is God

What's with this attitude of hate

You grow more ignorant with age

You had it made, now look at all you've wasted

Oh, all I'm asking for is love

Well I've seen you hurt yourselves enough

Oh, I've been waiting on a change in you, yeah

I know your every thought, your heart and soul and every move

There are so many consequences to the things you do

Oh all I'm asking for is love

Haven't you hurt yourselves enough

Oh, I've been waiting on a change in you

A change in you, oh

This is God...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4waEbkQHJek&feature=related

A Daddy’s Love

A Daddy’s Love

Your daddy would pick you up, swing you ‘round—
Ev’ry day when you ran home from th’ bus stop;
When you’d see him, straight to his arms you’d bound
After backpack’s slung off your arms to drop.

Sometimes he’d surprise you and hide from you,
Espying from behind a bush, he’d peek
Till you looked until he came into view—
A modified version of hide-and-seek.

When it rained, he’d drive to th’ bus stop and park
To keep you from having to walk in th’ rain . . .
With him as your daddy, your life was a lark;
You had nothing to lose and all to gain.

Your friend saw your life: “You so have it made,”
As she saw you so surrounded with love . . .

If love could prevent . . . you’d never have strayed . . .
T’ be picked up in Love . . . by Father above.

So my dear child, still surrounded with Love . . .
Rest in peace, in your Father’s arms of Love . . .

But this Father’s Day, just look down and peek –
Though now you’ll “hide,” your daddy will e’er seek ...
Till one day you will come into full view,
And he’ll evermore celebrate with you!



Poetry prompts park, peek, pick
Carl Larson’s painting. “Brita and I” (Self Portrait), 1895 for http://simplysnickers.blogspot.com/2009/05/poetry-prompt-through-sunday-may-31.html

Written 5/30/09 – A Daddy’s Love – Angie Bennett Prince

From Tangled to Jaws of LIFE

From Tangled
to
Jaws of LIFE

From being tangled up in a drug world
To being tangled up in a mangled car . . .

Our “jaws of life” couldn’t pull you from one.
Too late, “jaws of life” pulled you from th’ other.

Tangled in drugs cut your heart, soul, and spirit.
Mangled car mutilated your body.

Tangled in drugs cut you away from us.
Mangled up by car cut your life from us.

From tangled to mangled, both took your heart …


Till LIFE picked you up, put you in His Jaws,
Saving from the one preying on your soul . . .




Photo from www.Flickr.com

Written 5/22/09 – From Tangled to Jaws of LIFE – Angie Bennett Prince

Profound Nightmare

Profound Nightmare

 

To bed at 2, up at 3:47 . . .

Dreamed of her—it was another nightmare:

I thought she was here, not up in Heaven,

And yet I could not find her anywhere.  

I dreamed it was some kind of holiday,

A special day I was to share with her.  

I couldn’t find her; there was not a way . . .

Of which date, or which place, I was not sure!

. . . So I was going to get to see her,

Could not find her—I was letting her down!

Frenetically seeking, kept missing her . . .

Rules I was following would run aground.  

. . . A superficial world I was hanging

Onto, the rules of which I could not change:

It seemed my head, I was “banging, banging”—

The pathway I was on was way too strange.

(What could the moral of my nightmare be?)

She was somewhere, but on a different plane.

My clichéd rules were just frustrating me;

Holding onto them were just bringing pain.

I was living in a make-believe world,

Its rules could not help me find m’ baby girl.

Perhaps she wasn’t the only one stuck;

We were both trapped in lives kicking up muck!

In her life here, she was with me, but lies

Were what was keeping me away from her.

Now she’s away—in Heaven; I realize

My make-believe “dreams” distance me from her.

But I could not seem to drop rigid rules;

I knew I was using all the wrong tools.

When she was here, she was “bound” to have her way;

My make-believe dreams trap me the same way.

Why can’t I stop my magical thinking,

That if she were here, my life would be “syncing.”

Letting her go would mean trusting that God

Would bring her closer by (her) leaving this sod.

This world—is not all there is, I must trust!

We get our real life by turning to dust?!

Letting her go brings her closer to me?!

Holding what was distances her from me?!

God, may You have mercy to set me free—

“My” kingdom on earth is not good for me;

I must let go of all idol worship,

Even if it means “perfect life” worship!

Lord, You know I’m stuck in all the wrong rules;

The only way “out” is to use Your tools.

The only release is to follow You—

Lord, refresh my heart with Your morning dew . . .

Create a clean heart, right spirit renew!

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  

Psalm 51:10 KJV  (one of her favorite verses)

Free Stock Photos for websites - FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Written 4/21/09 – Profound Nightmare – Angie Bennett Prince