♫ Monday's Mourning Ministry ~ You Were Always On My Mind

Monday's Mourning Ministry

You Were Always On My Mind

Coming to the end of Merry Katherine's birthday month, Tommy and I were listening to a variety of music in an attempt to bring some peace and comfort to our hearts. The music was entertaining and even comforting. But then we began listening to this song "You Were Always On Our Mind," written and sung by Willie Nelson in his poignant voice.

Both hearts melting into a pile, we fell into each other's arms and cried and cried... and cried some more; it was if our crying could not stop.

It has been 9 1/2 years after losing our baby girl, yet we are still thrown back to Square. One. 

We each cried so hard.

I had scheduled clients for the following day thinking that that date should be well past Merry Katherine's birthday date and that I should be in a fairly stable place to help others by then...

Well, I calculated wrong. . .

My eyes were so swollen they would barely open. Needless to say, I cancelled clients for the next day...

I am doing better today but of course, even as I write and post this song for you, I am crying again!

~~~

You Were Always On My Mind

~Willie Nelson

Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have...

If I made you feel second best

Girl I'm sorry I was blind

But you were always on my mind.

You were always on my mind.

Maybe I didn't hold you

All those lonely, lonely times

And I guess I never told you

I'm so happy that you're mine

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

Tell me,

Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

And give me 

Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied

I'll keep you satisfied

(Musical Interlude)

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

~~~

We parents, I think, do the very best we can by our children, but of course, there are always some things we think we could have done better when we look from hindsight. So the poignant words of this song pierce the very center of my heart and soul as I ever long to do more and more to nurture my baby.

It would be so nice if we could peer into Heaven and see the incredible peace on our beloved one's face, but that is where we need the Lord's help to live by faith...

Sweet blessings to each of you...as you grieve your precious child. May our Lord bind every wound of your hurting heart day by day by painful day...

~~~

This Scripture is our comfort, for it assures us that our broken hearts are very important to God... so important He sent Jesus to rescue us, to save our crushed spirits, and to bind and heal our brokenness:

A portion of our Lord's words found in Luke 4:18 KJV as He was indicating that His coming to earth was for the very purpose of fulfilling of the prophecy He quoted from Isaiah 61:1: 

"He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted."

Isaiah 61:1-3 KJV

Old Testament

King James Version

1)The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; (H)e hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

2)To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

3)To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

 

New Testament (over 400 years later)

Luke 4:18-21 KJV (Jesus speaking)
18"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because (H)e hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; (H)e hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

19To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD."

20And (H)e closed the book, and (H)e gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on (H)im.

21And (H)e began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.

{Highlights and some capitalizations, mine}

Thank You God, and Thank You Jesus that You sacrificed everything out of love for us and out of love for each and every one of our precious "babies."

https://youtu.be/R7f189Z0v0Y

Pictures, thanks to Bing Images

Wednesday's Woe - No Grief Relief or The "Five Stages" of Secondary Trauma or How NOT to Comfort a Grieving Mother

Wednesday's Woe

No Grief Relief

or 

The "Five Stages" of Secondary Trauma

or 

How NOT to Comfort a Grieving Mother

Hamstrung by grief,

We grasp for relief...

Some folks around

Run aground;

They cannot help

What they can't see...

Invisible grief.

They live in denial

Leaving us in a pile...

It makes us mad

But leaves us sad.

They disregard

What is too hard

(They can't see* me...

It hurts you see!)

with attitudes of a seeming complicity:

"We've plans of course!

Don't shoot a dead horse!"

..................or

Implying a similar trivializing ilk:

"Stop crying over spilled milk!"

..................or

"Stick around to watch us fuss,

'Don't use God to lord over us!'"

..................or

"Want comfort? Come here!

As we've no time to dry a tear!")

It makes them too sad

Which leaves them mad.

We don't want to beg,

We, the thrown away dreg…

We bear the cross

For our child-loss.

It's ours alone,

Ours to atone.

God comes alongside...

For our child died!

He can see*;

He answers our plea.

God's Child died too;

He will comfort you.

Death tears us apart...

He heals shattered hearts**.

If all others fail to come alongside,

The LORD our God will always provide.

"It's a Rocky Road!

"These are the five stages of Kubler-Robbins

Have some ice cream."

~Amy Marash

They lend no pittance ~

We come to acceptance...

And a thankfulness, that in God's economy,

He's not ignorant of such complicity;

He turns on its head their dissimulation when He said,

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"!***

~~~

*

So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to 

her, "You are 'God who sees,' because I have truly 

seen the One who looks after me."

Genesis 16:13 ISV

**

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 

~Psalms 34-18

**

The High and Lofty One lives forever, and His name is holy. This is what He says: I live in a high and holy place. But I am with those who are crushed and humble. I will renew the spirit of those who are humble and the courage of those who are crushed.

~Isaiah 57:15 GWT

***"

***

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Matthew 5:4 NASB

Thanks so much to cancer survivor, Amy Marash from her blog "Cancer Is So Funny," for the graphics from her clever art work, created by her to help her cope!*
http://cancerissofunny.blogspot.com/2014/04/5-stages-of.html

~

*The National Cancer Institute says,

Cancer Survivors Discover the Power of Blogging

Ann Silberman was diagnosed with cancer in August 2009. Two weeks later, she started writing Breast Cancer? But Doctor...I Hate Pink , a blog that puts a lighter spin on her struggle with breast cancer.

Amy Marash uploads cartoons to her blog, Cancer Is So Funny, to share information with other cancer patients.

“I am able to take myself out of treatment and uncomfortable situations by thinking about how I’m going to write about it, or by looking for the humor in a situation for my readers,” Silberman said. “By being able to write about cancer for other people, I find that I am able to focus on the positives rather than the negatives, because that is what I want my readers to do.”

Nancy Morgan, director of the Arts and Humanities Program at the Lombardi Comprehensive Cancer Center at Georgetown University, affirmed the power of blogging for patients.

"“The people I encounter at Lombardi who blog about their cancer are very much empowered by their ability to articulate thoughts and feelings about cancer and to link with others,” Morgan said. “One person’s courage to write inspires another to express their feelings. The relief that comes from self expression is palpable.”

In a study published in The Oncologist in 2008, Morgan and her colleagues found that patients reported feeling better after completing an expressive writing exercise.

“Post surveys and subsequent interviews identified a significant correlation between those who felt the writing changed the way they thought about cancer and improved physical quality of life,” Morgan said.

Amy Marash was referred to Morgan after telling her onocologist she wanted to draw cartoons to share information with other cancer patients. Morgan gave her a sketchbook, and Marash began drawing the cartoons with ballpoint pens, adding color with markers, and then uploading her work to her blog, Cancer Is So Funny , after perfecting the sketches in Photoshop...

Each of the women has developed a community with her readers. “There are times the disease or treatment gets me down,” Maluta said. “I blog about how I’m feeling and/or what I am experiencing, and before you know it, someone is sending me an encouraging comment or e-mail. These few words of encouragement really lift my spirits. To be honest, I don’t know where I’d be without my blogging family.”

See http://www.cancer.gov/ncicancerbulletin/071310/page7 for full article.

~~~

Thank you for the Shattered Hearts graphic goes to
~Anntoinette McFadden ~Book of Psalms ~Pinterest

Book of Psalms   Anntoinette McFadden

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/351914158353494180/

Bible Translations Used:

GSW = GOD'S WORD® Translation

ISV = International Standard Version

NASB = New American Standard Bible 

NIV = New International Version 

Monday's Mourning Ministry / Tuesday's Trust - Eternal Love... / Victory ~Yolanda Adams

Thanks to ~Hers To Treasure and ~Fine Art America 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

~Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version, 2011)

~~~~~

Jesus said to her, 

"I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me, even if s/he dies, will live."

~John 11:25 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

(some capitalizations and gender corrections, mine)

~thanks to Molly Severns - "Colors" on pinterest 

I miss my lively, free-spirited baby girl. I am so thankful she is still "with" me in spirit, and that she is alive and watches over me from Heaven. Jesus Himself said, "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me, even if (s/he) dies, will live." (John 11:25 ~Holman Christian Standard Bible, 2009) Thank You Lord, for Your great love for us ♥ that You made provision for our love for one another to be eternal!

~Angie

Monday's Mourning Ministry / Tuesday's Trust

Eternal Love...

Victory

~Yolanda Adams

Victory

~Yolanda Adams

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, yes I do

He is a mighty conqueror

In Him I will trust,

all my battles He'll fight

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That's why I have true victory everyday

Truly, I've been through the storm and rain

I know everything about heartache and pain

But God carried me through it all

Without His protection, I would surely fall

I've been broke without a dime to my name

But all my bills got paid 'cause I called on Jesus name

You can't tell me that God isn't real

'Cause I've got the victory and that's why I'm still here

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, yes I do

He is a mighty conqueror

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That's why I have true victory everyday

I'm not worried about material things I don't have

[Incomprehensible] my Saviors care

'Cause I know that my blessing is on the way

I can't see it right now, but I stand by faith

I've fought many, many battles in His name

I've held up the blood-stained banner and proclaimed

That Jesus is the truth and the light

Believe me when I say He will make it right

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, yes I do

He is a mighty conqueror

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That's why I have true victory everyday

Yeah, I got the victory, yeah

I got the victory yeah, yeah, yeah

And if you have the victory sing along with me

Yeah, I got the victory, yeah

I got the victory yeah, yeah, yeah

Sing it with me, I've got the victory

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, yes I do

He is a mighty conqueror

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That's why I have true victory everyday

Oh yeah, I got the victory, yeah

I got the victory yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah

I got the victory, yeah

I got the victory yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes

Sing along with me

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, yes I do

He is a mighty conqueror

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That's why I have true victory everyday

http://youtu.be/B3mINTjVyEw

Friday's Faith - Our Sufferings… His Love...

Hebrews 4:16

~Hers To Treasure 

New Living Translation (©2007)

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Friday's Faith

Our Sufferings… His Love...

Faith in Christ makes short work of all our sins. Then the devil has launched forth another host of serpents in the form of worldly trials, temptations, unbelief; but faith in Jesus is more than a match for them, and overcomes them all. The same absorbing principle shines in the faithful service of God!  

With an enthusiastic love for Jesus difficulties are surmounted, sacrifices become pleasures, sufferings are honours. 

~Charles Spurgeon in his June 28 evening devotional...

~~~

2 Corinthians 4:4-18 (NIV):

4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.

6For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

13It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

~~~

2 Corinthians 4:8

2 Corinthians 4:8 (Good News Translation)

English Standard Version (©2001)

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;

These past few weeks have been terribly hard for me. The above Scripture says, "We are often troubled, but not crushed." Actually, I felt very close to the breaking point, that point of being crushed. It was a daily turmoil, a daily struggle, and I knew not its origin, I knew not its cause. There was no single problem that made such a struggle obvious. I was simply bottomed out, with no reserve left...

As I bottomed out, I pretty much felt the opposite of this verse. Not only was I afflicted in every way, but I felt crushed. Not only was I terribly perplexed but I felt a great deal of despair. It was again a seeming perfect storm as my weakness and my being worn down crashed into my vulnerabilities, which revealed all my worst fears which felt like they actively, here-and-now, were coming to pass… 

Post-Traumatic Stress was loudly barking out its destructive message of "Terror, Loss, Hurt, Pain, Betrayal, Fear, Weakness, Impotence, Helplessness ARE ALL HERE, NOW, and you have NOWHERE to run!" 

But, after talking some of this out with Tommy, and crying out many times to my Lord, I was not left holding only this crushing despair, as I did feel the amazing  supernatural peace of my Lord come over me as He comforted my heart and brought light into my soul. Only my Lord could overcome such darkness… 

I literally felt the following verse play out in my life at that point:

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

~Sweet to the Soul

Thankfully, the Scripture goes on to say:

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

New International Version (©2011)

~2 Corinthians 4:17

God does not deny the severity of our situation; His Word confirms that pain, but He also provides His prescription to soothe and overcome our bouts of that pain, even while assuring us that our labors and sufferings here are not in vain; He sees them and uses them for an eternal glory that far outweighs our temporal, here-and-now distress. And then He reminds us we cannot allow ourselves to get stuck in all the darkness of our fears, but must turn our hearts to Him, allowing Him to penetrate the force-field of our despair, allowing Him to engulf us in His arms, hold us in His abiding love, and supersede our fears with reminders of His constant care, which then enables us to begin to entrust ourselves to Him again… 

Our suffering is duly noted by Him, and comforted. Our sufferings are held up in the light of His higher viewpoint which gives us Hope, and then our eyes are drawn to Himself who is, by His Own words, characterized as "Love," for Him to nurture our wounds, hold us in His comfort as a mother soothes her wounded child, and give us the Hope from His eternal perspective, so that we may rest, and find sustenance for another day…

May God bless all of us grieving mothers and daddies who find ourselves oft overwhelmed in the darkness of this grief and the life-altering desolations that so often come after the death of our precious child…

~Hers To Treasure 

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it. 
~Hebrews 4:16 NLT

~~~

~Hers To Treasure 

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (New International Version)

~~~

2 Corinthians 5:7

I will walk by Faith even when I cannot see.

~Daily Scripture Promises 

New International Version (©2011)

For we live by faith, not by sight.

New Living Translation (©2007)

For we live by believing and not by seeing.

~2 Corinthians 5:7

~~~

Psalm 31:7

~Hers To Treasure 


New International Version (©2011)

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.

~~~

Psalm 34:18

English Standard Version (©2001)

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Friday's Faith - Our Emotional Limp

Friday's Faith

Our Emotional Limp

Read the portion of Genesis 32 printed below this first two paragraphs. Then come back and read the paragraphs...


After Jacob struggled with the Angel, the Angel hit him in his hip socket to overcome him. You could say Jacob "won" because God blessed him, changed his name, and made him the father of a nation, the father of God's own nation of the children of God, but Jacob still had a limp... 

It is sort of like us, we can feel comforted by God, and we can feel close to Him; He will bring healing as we walk through this valley of the shadow of death with Him by our side, but it may not completely change our life-time emotional limp. Jacob's name was changed forever; God blessed him and renamed him "Israel," and he became the father of Israel with his offspring making up the original twelve tribes of Israel. 

Genesis 32:22-31

Jacob Wrestles With God

22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, (Israel probably means "he struggles with God.") because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, (Peniel means "face of God") saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon.

~~~~~

God gives us choices. We can cling to ourselves and what we demand, or we can die to ourselves and follow Him. He marks the way and will guide us. We will not be trouble free; there will always be people who love to hate us when we follow God and stand for Him. It is baffling, but it happens. Jesus warned us: Whoever listens to Me will listen to you. Whoever persecutes Me will persecute you. There is always war between Light and Dark, at least during this earth time. In Heaven there will be no more darkness, but here we will always be struggling against darkness. 

Jesus said, "In this world, you will have trouble, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." And He has; He will walk us through any darkness in which we find ourselves. 

God is ever calling us to die to ourselves, and let Him lead. We only become strong when we completely lean on Him, cling to Him, and give up our own rights to self. 

But He does assure us, He will lead us through the Valley of the Shadow of Death; we will fear no evil, for He is with us, His rod (to lead us) and His staff (to pull us back as needed), they comfort us. He prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies. He anoints our head with oil; our cups will run over. Surely His goodness and mercy will follow us all of our days, and we shall dwell in the House of our Lord.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.
(NKJV)

Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
(NIV)

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
(NIV)

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
(NIV)

Matthew 10:26
Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.
(NKJV)

Matthew 10:28
And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
(NKJV)

Romans 8:15
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
(KJV)

2 Corinthians 4:7-11
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
(NIV)

Philippians 1:12-14
Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
(NIV)

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
(NLT)

Hebrews 13:5-6
For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
(NKJV)

1 Peter 3:13-14
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."
(NIV)

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
(NIV)

Pictures, thanks to ~Out of the Ashes