Showing posts with label Big Punch in the Gut. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Punch in the Gut. Show all posts

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Wednesday's Woe - Terrorized








Wednesday's Woe


Terrorized




I dreamed I fell into a trap door--into subterranean terrors.

~Hoyt Hickman




Last night, I was talking to Tommy about a detail of Merry Katherine's death. This detail had been described to me by phone about six months after the crash by the Assistant Chief of Police of Fort Payne, Alabama. The Assistant Chief had helped to handle the horrific crash site the night Merry Katherine was killed. I could have sworn I had told Tommy all the details I had learned, but the mind can only absorb so much...



As soon as I said the words last night, I saw Tommy's face crash in upon itself. Stunned, I realized he did not know this particular fact that had so many painful implications.


I said, "You didn't know this, did you?"


He nodded his head in acknowledgement even as the tears pooled in his eyes.


I said, "I'm sorry."



Almost 3 1/2 years later, and a new discovery of one of the horrific details of our baby's death is made. We have said many times over the months and years since her death, and we said it again last night,


"We are still being terrorized..."


Death is a horrible thing. To have it happen to your cherished baby girl whom you've spent her whole life hovering over, nurturing, and protecting is absolutely one of the most devastating terrors a person can feel.


Now, 3 1/2 years later, we continue to say,



We are still being



Terrorized...

















photo: http://www.fotosearch.com/photos-images/terror.html
Quote from Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman.



Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Wednesday's Woe - The Great Grief - Big Punch in the Gut








Wednesday's Woe



The Great Grief


Big Punch in the Gut



Ouch! Blam! Here we are, two once-very-normal people with a very happy marriage who happen to be mental health counselor/coach specialists as well. Sounds extremely healthy doesn't it?




Now, add The Great Grief into the mix:











The Great Grief







\ \ \ \ \ | / / / / /

– – – Blamo – – –

/ / / / / | \ \ \ \ \







Now you've got one dynamic duo blasted with dynamite.



And it ain't a pretty sight.






I feel like Wile E. Coyote who's been run over by the Road Runner; all my clever coping skills have run amuck.



All the fault-lines in this personality, all the fault-lines in this happy marriage, and all the fault lines in this precious family have been stressed to the max. And now we more closely resemble that Coyote who has been smashed into the ground with a black hole the size and shape of his body. I am wiped out. Literally!








******










Any time I step outside the safety of my home domain, I feel like Pollyanna with stars in her eyes, all hopeful and happy, to walk into Aunt Polly's room only to be flattened to the ground. Only I don't have the normal resources that young and naive Pollyana had to fall back on in order to pop back up, so I lie grounded into that ground for quite awhile. And physically exhausted from the onslaught...











******





What about you?



What is your experience of coping after your precious child has been brutally snatched out of your life by Death?



We are three years and three months into our grief, as my husband stated last night,



"In many ways, grief seems to only get worse than better as time goes on..."





Please tell us,





What is your experience with The Great Grief ?






If our comment portion of our post below doesn’t work for you, feel free to email me your answer, and with your permission, I will post some of your answers within the comments. You may email me at MotherGrieving (at) gmail (dot) com. Thank you!














Pictures:
Big Punch: ning.com
Wile E. Coyote: 4 pictures:
http://www.petcaretips.net/Wylie_TNT_City.jpg
http://bit.ly/2NnWke
http://www.cartoonspot.net/looney-tunes/wallpaper-wile-coyote-6.php
http://jeremynell.com/images/blog/2009/10/Wile-E-Coyote460.jpg
Pollyanna: http://bit.ly/3muBud
Pollyanna and Aunt Polly: http://bit.ly/3kA92j