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Wednesday's Woe
Missing At The Wedding
Three years ago today, my oldest child Rollin got married. He married his precious girlfriend of seven years. He asked her to marry him within days of the first-year anniversary of Merry Katherine's death... Tommy and I were barely functioning automatons.
I remember thinking I was glad we didn't have the whole responsibility of the wedding because I was doing well just to remember to pay our bills on time, much less be intact enough to help plan a whole wedding. As it was, we were in charge of the rehearsal dinner, and at the time, that felt like a mammoth task to us. We managed, somehow.
But on the night of the dinner, of course they had the wedding rehearsal first. Tommy and I were sitting about where we sat - same church, almost the same seat - on the day of Merry Katherine's funeral. No, we didn't get too triggered! The rehearsal began. Each groomsman was escorting a bridesmaid down the aisle and up the stairs to join the wedding party on the platform. Well, all the groomsmen except one... We held it together pretty well until the bride's brother Joe, who was best friends with Merry Katherine, practiced coming down the aisle alone as he had no Merry Katherine to escort. As soon as Joe walked past us during this rehearsal, before I knew it, Tommy sprang up out of his seat and ran out of the church. He had to go sit in the car awhile and have a good cry.
And then, we were supposed to go host a rehearsal dinner party? We are fairly outgoing people, or we were in our normal days, but we had no "festive" in us that night. Tommy somehow managed to pull it together to muddle through being the emcee for some of the evening, but we were very blessed that Rollin has a lively group of friends who could basically entertain with their stories. I do remember Tommy saying, "Okay guys, let's hear from you!" and they jumped in. I was able, with God's help toward the end of the evening to be able to tell a funny story on Rollin. So, like I said, we managed.
Since this momentous wedding three years ago, we have not been able to attend any weddings since. Not even of our precious niece whose wedding was right here in Knoxville...
Such is life amidst Child-loss Grief. We are just not the same people, and I doubt seriously we ever will be again. Happy Anniversary, Rollin and Stephanie. We are so thankful you two are together, and that your first baby will be coming mid-August! (And finding out that she is a baby girl, Rollin and Stephanie told us her name is to be "Merry" Elizabeth Prince!) God is good.
