Saturday's Sayings - Love is Eternal

Saturday's Sayings

Love is Eternal

*****

The Rose Beyond the Wall

A rose once grew

where all could see,

sheltered beside

a garden wall,

And as the days passed

swiftly by,

it spread its branches, straight and tall....

One day, a beam of light

shone through

a crevice that had

opened wide ~

The rose bent gently

toward its warmth

then passed beyond

to the other side

Now, you who deeply

feel its loss,

be comforted ~ the rose blooms there ~

Its beauty even greater now,

nurtured by

God's own loving care.

Author Unknown

Lovingly shared by grieving mother, A. A.

*****

No Fear in Heaven

© 2009, Ferna Lary Mills

There are so many things in life that we can't understand,
like why a tragedy like this can happen in this land.
One moment life is perfect and the next it falls apart,
leaving us with nothing but an eternally aching heart.

Our souls cry out in agony amidst the suffering and despair.
We feel the pain and tear our clothes and scream "It isn't fair!".
Spirits are now shattered. Hearts will never be the same.
We grasp at straws and seek to find the one who is to blame.

Horrific as our life now seems, one thing remains quite true.
Our little ones have now been freed to do things angels do.
They can't recall the horrors of those last days they were here.
They remember not the terror, the hurt, nor the fear.

There is no fear in Heaven. No more sorrow. Only Joy.
It's filled with joyous laughter from each little girl and boy.
We can only try to imagine, in spite of all earthly wrongs,
our little angels are learning the words to the Angel's songs.

Amidst the children's laughter and their Heavenly play,
there's also more important work going on there today.
Jesus is building mansions, never taking time to sleep,
for Reunions are being planned, yes, even as we weep.

The children gather around Him and listen to Him speak,
for He has all the answers that they curiously seek.
He tells them for a time, in Heaven, they must wait,
and then they can meet us at Heaven's pearly gate.

~via grieving mother, J. C.

*****

‎"Be thankful for your trials. If you're being tested, you're being perfected. Which means you have a divine purpose & reason to rejoice!"

~Unknown

shared by grieving mother, D. M.

*****

I said a prayer for you today

That God would take your fear away,

And that you would no longer dread

When lights are out and you're in bed.

I prayed God's light to shine right there

To soothe your soul with loving care,

And take away the painful part

Of memories from that little girl

Who was harmed by the evil in this world.

For sister-love is very strong,

And fights real hard to right a wrong.

God's our Father now, you know,

And to His arms we all may go.

He'll take the hurt and ease the pain

So you can live your life again.

You wonder how I know it's true?

Because I lived that life with you.

And nightly angels came to stay

To watch and take my fear away.

God made us sisters for a reason,

And we have weathered many seasons.

Through many more I'll walk with you.

I'll listen and will talk with you.

And if you need me, I'll be there,

And rest assured I'll always care

About your future, present, and past

For our sister-love was meant to last.

I said a prayer for you today,

And God will take your fear away.

And you'll no longer have to dread,

Because Light shines eternal around your bed.

~by Kathi Thornhill

12/20/94 ©

*****

‎"To the people who love you, you are Beautiful already.

This is not because they’re blind to your shortcomings;

But because they so clearly see your soul.

Your shortcomings then dim by comparison.

The people who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and beautiful!"

- Kelly Turcotte Lloyd

via Back Towards Light

Pictures, thanks to Grieving Mothers

Saturday's Sayings - The Grief that Stole Christmas

Saturday's Sayings

The Grief that Stole Christmas

Merry Christmas Mom

The Holidays are upon us and we feel sadness and fear

Our child is no longer with us and we just want them near.

We remember joy and cheer from all the years past

And how each Christmas Day we always had a blast.

The time leading up to this spectacular day

Should be filled with joy and lots of child play.

As we hang the ornaments on the tree

A special one is placed at the top by me.

As tears roll from my eyes, missing you with all my heart

I suddenly feel peace and know we are not apart.

Your spirit is with me even though you’re not here

Smiling upon the family that you loved so dear.

You sent me a message in a dream last night

To remember your life and your smile so bright.

Remembering to live life as I always did

Loving and giving and being a kid.

Be joyous during this Christmas season

Always remembering, there is a reason.

Keep me close in your heart today and everyday

Always knowing that I love you in each and every way.

Live your life to the fullest with each moment you are given

For you don’t know what is next on the roads that are driven.

Enjoy the Holiday’s with bliss and cheer

Embrace our Family and know I am near.

Take the family pictures as you always do

I am smiling and goofing off as I think of you.

I know you won’t forget me as long as you (are) breathing

So live you(r) life my dear Mom and stop all that grieving.

If I could take away all of your pain

I would in a moment so you wouldn’t feel insane.

I am happy Mom, it’s great up here

I look forward to seeing you when your time draws near.

I will meet you with the biggest hug of all

And you will then know why I didn’t have time to call.

I thought I would throw that in and hope to see you smile

I remember when you missed my calls when it had been awhile.

I love you Mama, always have and always will

You were always there for me even when I was being a pill.

I know each tear you shed and the pain within your heart

But please always remember, we’re really not apart.

I know it doesn’t seem sometimes that I am close and near

But I am holding you Mom, catching your every tear.

Please enjoy your Christmas day with the family who love so much

Just be careful because I might spike the punch.

Know I love you and watch for signs that I am there

And as always we lift our Moms up in prayer.

Enjoy the season and the day

I’ll be taking a ride in Santa's Sleigh

Merry Christmas Mom

~Written by Shirley Tripp-Johnson

(Please do not remove the name of the author, by Shirley Tripp-Johnson.)

"I will be lighting a candle in memory of my son Tripp who was killed when a school bus pulled across traffic striking his car. He died instantly. I love and miss you my sweet Tripp. 10/82 - 02/10 ...Forever in my heart."

*****

“Jesus does his best work at such moments. Just when the truth about life sinks in, his truth starts to surface. He takes us by the hand and dares us not to sweep the facts under the rug but to confront them with Him at our side.”

~Max Lucado

*****

Prayer After the Death of a Child

My life is upside down, loving God. The order of the world is out of place and I can’t do anything to right it again. Oh, Lord, you know the pain in my heart at all times and you know why: my child has died. How can it be that my beloved child is gone? The child I cared for with such concern in every illness, the one I held close to my heart and promised to take care of for a lifetime, is not here for me to care for anymore. It hurts deeply that I wasn’t able to protect this child I love with my whole being from a death that seems so unfair.

Let me feel calm. Let me breathe deeply. Be with me in this kind of deep and transformative pain. I now carry this darkness with me on my back and in my heart, always. It is my burden and my companion.

Lord, there is not a single minute of my life when this loss is not etched so keenly into my brain and heart, whether it is in the middle of a busy day or in those choking moments of grief in the solitary dark of night. Let me be grateful for every minute we had together. Let me treasure those memories and find joy in them.

Help me to deal with people better. They don’t know what to say. They stumble and look away when they see me. They pretend nothing has happened. I know they “don’t want to remind me” but they don’t understand it is with me always, always.

Teach me, Lord. Tell me what you want me to do with this. What am I supposed to learn from this kind of pain? What are you calling me to do?

Open my battered heart and lead me to comfort and peace. Only you can give me the peace I need. Let me feel your presence in my life.

~Grieving Mothers

*****

*****

Remembering

Go ahead and mention my child
The one that died, you know
Don't worry about hurting me further
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry I'm already crying inside
Help me to heal by releasing

The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent
Pretending it doesn't exist
I'd rather you'd mention my child Knowing that

She has been missed.
You asked me how I'm doing I say "Pretty good" or "fine"
But healing is something on-going

I feel it will take a lifetime.

~By Elizabeth Dent

thanks to grieving mother, LL

*****

Twelve Tips For Getting Through the Holidays After Loss:

1. The main thing to remember is just like everyone grieves differently, how you feel about the holidays will also be as individual as you are. They might not even BE difficult for you. Sometimes ordinary days are hardest, not holidays.
2. Perhaps most importantly, acknowledge that the upcoming days or weeks might be really hard. Stating that out loud, even to just yourself, validates it somehow making it more OK to accept your own feelings.
3. Decide what you want to do this year. Do you want to continue traditions or do you want to begin new ones? Or perhaps a combo?
4. Do something specific for your loved one. Some people like to light a candle, display a particular ornament in a special place each year, make a donation in their loved one’s name or volunteer someplace the loved one would have chosen or cared about.
5. Talk about your loved one by sharing memories and stories about them, even if it makes others uncomfortable. Remembering honors them and keeps them with you in a very real sense.
6. Set realistic expectations for yourself. If you don’t feel like doing cards, don’t. If you don’t feel like baking, don’t. If your house isn’t the cleanest, so what?
7. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep and eating properly. Remember grieving is taxing physically, emotionally and spiritually. It’s just plain hard work and it really does tire you out.
8. Try to exercise every day. The benefits are pretty obvious, but worth saying anyway. Exercise relieves stress, helps deter depression and improves your self-esteem.
9. I’ll borrow a quote from a friend’s recent blog post if I may, (which came from Oprah originally) “Surround yourself with only the people who are going to lift you up.” No need to say more.
10. If you need help, ask for it. If you can’t manage with daily chores, shopping or whatever it might be, it’s alright to ask someone to help you.
11. There is now an actual clinical term called “complicated grief.” Kind of a silly name in my opinion, because all grief is complicated. Simply put, it means there is no diminishing of your grief with time. You can’t stop mourning or begin to move on. If you are experiencing this, you probably need professional help. Ask for it. You can find more information on this topic at Mayo Clinic’s website.
12. Remember most people eventually enjoy the holidays again. Hang on to that hope. You will get there. Also, experiencing a few nostalgic or sad moments is not necessarily a bad thing; it’s part of life after loss.

This list is in no way complete, but thinking about these suggestions may perhaps be helpful to some. I hope so. I’m curious about what has been helpful for others, so I hope you’ll consider sharing a comment or suggestion.

What do you do during the holidays, or any day, to remember loved ones no longer with you? What are your suggestions for helping the bereaved get through the holiday season?

~Grieving Mothers

*****

Recognize and embrace your unique suffering and … trust that your way to salvation lies therein. Taking up your cross means, first of all, befriending your wounds and letting them reveal to you your own truth.

*****

HE ONLY TOOK MY HAND

Last night while I was trying to sleep,

My Child’s voice I did hear.

I opened my eyes and Looked around,

But she did not appear.

She said,

“Ma Ma, you gotta’ listen

You’ve got to understand.

God did not take me from you mama,

He only took my hand.”

"When I called out to you in pain that day,

The instant that I died.

He reached down and took my hand

And pulled me to his side.

"He pulled me up and saved me

From the misery and pain

My body hurt so badly inside

I could never be the same.

"My search is over now,

I’ve found happiness within,

All the answers to my empty dreams

And all that might have been.

"I love you all & miss you so,

And I’ll always be nearby~

My body’s gone forever,

But my spirit will never die!

"And so you must go on now,

Live one day at a time,

Just understand,

God did not take me from you,

He only took my hand…."

~Author Unknown

thanks to grieving mother, C.H.

Picture, thanks to grieving mother, Jill Compton

Thank you to the writings of other grieving mothers

Saturday's Sayings - In Search of Solace...

Saturday's Sayings

In Search of Solace...

I have lived in the shadow of loss — the kind of loss that can paralyze a life, forever.

I have grieved like a professional mourner — with every waking moment, draining every ounce of life-force.

I have died — without leaving my body. I came back —

It is frequently said that the grief of a Grieving Mother is the most intense grief known. When a child dies, parents feel that a part of them has died, that a vital and core part of them has been ripped away. The grief caused by their child's death is not only painful but profoundly disorienting.....children are not supposed to die. These parents are forced to confront an extremely painful and stressful paradox; they are faced with a situation in which they must deal both with the grief caused by their child's death and with their inherent need to continue to live their own lives as fully as possible. Thus, Grieving parents must deal with the contradictory burden of wanting to be free of this overwhelming pain and yet needing it as a reminder of the child who died. Grieving parents continue to be parents of the child who died. They will always feel the empty place in their hearts caused by the child's death; they were, and always will be, the loving father and mother of that child. Yet, these parents have to accept that they will never be able to live their lives with or share their love openly with the child. So they must find ways to hold on to the memories. Many bereaved parents come to learn that

"memories are the precious gifts of the heart...[that they need] these memories and whispers, to help create a sense of inner peace, a closeness."

~Grieving Mothers

*****

This heartache this sadness, this feeling of pain
To think I'll never hear your voice, or see your face again

The loneliness without you, is beyond belief
I can't come to terms with, this feeling called grief

It's so hard to describe just how I feel
Without you beside me, time has only stood still

I sit for hours in your favourite chair
Talk to your photo, wishing you were there

I touch your clothes and start to weep
I hug your pillow and try to sleep

Life must go on, I suppose it's true
But a day doesn't pass without thinking of you

To treasure your memory, I must carry on
But nothing else matters, now that you've gone

~by Grieving Mother J.W., in memory of MPW

*****

My Son Is Dead

forever gone away from me
is his beautiful face
his smile
that is the light
in my darkest of days

forever gone away from me
is the music of his gentle voice
the mystery in his mesmerizing
peridot eyes

forever gone away from me
are my grandbabies
that would have been
that should have been

my son is dead

his body lies in a casket
buried under a cold
hard mound
I visit his headstone
in a cemetery’s consecrated ground

I speak to the air I breathe
and I hope
and oh God how I pray
that somehow
someway
his spirit can hear what I have to say

my soul cries out for him
every moment of every day
my spirit is defeated
for this anguish will never
not for as long as I breathe
fade away

my son is dead

my heart is broken
shredded and torn
no matter who is left
or who may be born

as you look at me
into my eyes
pause for a minute…

before your expression
turns to pity
and the words
flow out of your mouth
stop for just a moment
and please ask yourself

would I be willing
to trade my child for hers
because he is in a better place?

~Tammy Brown, in loving memory of Larry Brown

*****

Grief hits people in different ways,

there is no wrong or right way to grieve,

I will talk about my child over and over,

some times are sad, some times are happy,

a part of me died when my child grew wings,

please don't judge me,

please don't stare,

please think before you speak

because your words can hurt me more than you realize...

~Grieving mother, J.W.

*****

It seems as if we are stalled by our grief,
unable to move away from it – and I wonder
if we will ever get over the loss of you. In time
they say we will, that one day we will finally be free
of the sadness that burdens our hearts, and we will dance
in our remembrance, and there will be no more tears.

But if that's true, I must admit I will miss the tears
when there is an eventual easing of the grief.
I am not as eager to begin the dance
of life without you, for the world has lost its wonder
for me, some of its shine - and being free
seems awfully relative - I suppose just like time.

I can still so clearly recall the last time
we were all together - the tears
we shared, even laughter, when you were set free
of this earthly pain - and even in our grief,
we were filled with such wonder
as we witnessed the end of life's dance.

When I was a little boy you used to let me dance
on the top of your shoes, moving in time
to the music on the radio. Is it any wonder
that music, to this day, brings tears
of joy, mingled with the ever-present grief,
which still has not set me completely free.

I now realize there is a cost to love; it's not free -
for when you love, you buy a ticket to the dance
of life - which comes with joy and pain, celebration and grief.
And if you have lived a long enough time,
as I have, even when the loss brings never ending tears,
with a broken heart, it's worth all of the pain, and it's no wonder

people love so fiercely - so much so that they cease to wonder
about the why, when or where - and now I realize that I am free
to love, and to lose, which will bring with it many tears.
But each tear is worth it - and seems to make the dance
more authentic. In the end, I will measure my time
by how much of it was filled with love, and with grief.

No longer will I wonder whether or not I should dance,
I will just be free, stepping in and out of time,
wearing my tears like a badge of honor as I move beyond the grief.

~by Grieving Mother Jill Compton, used with her gracious permission

*****

A heart breaking isn't always as loud as a bomb exploding...

Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling...

And the most painful thing is, no one really hears it, except you. ♥

~Grieving Mother, J.W.

*****

I do not need to stay busy,

I need to talk about my child.
I need to talk about the good times, and the bad.
I need to remember, and not to forget. I cannot forget.
I need to cry, I do not need to stay strong.
I need to have you listen, and not to change the subject.
I need you to support me, not to say that you understand..
I know you can not understand, unless you have lost a child.
I need you to help me with things in life that are simple tasks.
Cleaning, cooking, errands, babysitting.
I just need you to be there for me.
I just need to talk about my child.

~Author Unknown

*****

Sorrow breaks seasons and reposing hours,

Makes the night morning, and the noontide night.

~William Shakespeare (contributed by Grieving Mother, D.P.)

*****

I was thinking today about grief and child-loss and it occurred to me that losing a child can happen as fast as turning off a light switch. Here we are going on with our daily lives living day by day. Some happy days, some not so happy days but all the time thinking our lives will always be this way. Then as quick as turning off a light switch, in the blink of an eye our lives are forever changed. That is how fast our lives changed when we lose our child. And also like turning off a light switch we are thrust into darkness, not being able to see any light, not knowing where we are going. We are fumbling around in the dark. Trying to find some light again but not knowing if we ever will. In a second, in a heartbeat as fast as turning off a light switch that is how our lives are forever changed. That is why people who have not experience(d) child-loss have a hard time imaging how fast our lives forever changed. They just do not understand how many emotions we all go through. I guess it would be too hard for them to understand. Their lives are just moving along and forward as it always had. Some happy days some sad days, but as fast as it takes to turn off a light switch that is how fast bereaved parents lives have forever changed.

My greatest wish and hope as bereaved parents and grandparents is that someday we will be able to find a little light back into our lives. No the light will never burn as bright as it did when our children still walked this earth, but maybe someday we will be able to see our way out of the darkness and turn the light switch on once again.........

~by Grieving Mother, L.L.

*****

When it seems that our sorrow is too great to be borne, let us think of the great family of the heavy-hearted into which our grief has given us entrance. And inevitably, we will feel about us their arms, their sympathy and their understanding.

~Helen Keller

*****

Good nite to everyone - Those we love don't go away

┊　┊　♥ They walk beside us every day,

┊　 ♥ Unseen, unheard, but always near,

♥ Still loved, still missed and very dear.

......┊　┊ Good nite beautiful Angels Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Picture, thanks to Grieving Mother J.W.