Celebrating our 35th Wedding Anniversary!!! - I Could Never Promise You ~Don Francisco

April 7, 1979 - 2014

Celebrating our 35th Wedding Anniversary!!!

35 years ago, on April 7, 1979,  though it seems like only yesterday, Tommy and I were married at my church, Prince Avenue Baptist Church in Athens, Georgia. We asked one of Tommy's best friends from our graduate school program in Atlanta, Georgia, Mike Turner, to sing in our wedding before we had picked out any of the music. Mike agreed and later came to us with this song that evidently had been written just two years before. We both immediately embraced the song as it reflected the great respect we both had for the kind of love we knew we must have to go into a marriage with God's merciful blessing and protection.

God has since blessed us with thiry-five years of that blessed love that has had its foundation in Him! Tommy has been the most self-giving husband! Although my parents had a wonderfully blessed marriage of sixty-four (64) years, I could never have imagined that our marriage could be so sweet and wonderful. Then God blessed us with our three precious children, all of whom came to know our Lord within the first several years of their lives, each dedicating their lives more fully in their teen years. Our two sons, Rollin (now age 31) and Nathan (now 29), both have very close relationships with our Lord (as does our precious daughter-in-law Stephanie (age 29, almost 30), married to Rollin now for the past five years), and as you all know, Merry Katherine, our only daughter, has now "graduated" into Heaven with her Lord! 

We are so very thankful for all the many blessings our precious Lord has enabled us to enjoy with His help. So tonight, we wanted to share a little of our celebration with you. How nice to not only be able to share our tears with you, but our heartfelt joys as well! Thank you for your love and support over these past 7 1/2 difficult years. May our Lord wrap His arms around you as well, bringing you joy to balance some of the deep sadness in your life.

Thank you for allowing us to share some of our heart with you in a different way tonight. 

~Much love to each of you, and God's sweetest blessings to you and yours.

I Could Never Promise You

Words and Music by Don Francisco, 1977

I could never promise you on just my strength alone

That all my life I'd care for you, and love you as my own

I've never known the future, I only see today

Words that last a lifetime would be more than I could say

But the love inside my heart today is more than mine alone

It never changes, it never fails, never seeks it's own

And by the God who gives it, and who lives in me and you

I know the words I speak today are words I'm going to do

(Chorus)

And so I stand before you now for all to hear and see

I promise you in Jesus' name the love He's given me

And through the years on earth and as eternity goes by

The life and love He's given us are never going to die…

(Interlude)

(Chorus)

And so I stand before you now for all to hear and see

I promise you in Jesus' name the love He's given me

And through the years on earth and as eternity goes by

The life and love He's given us are never going to die

The life and love He's given us are never going to die

Music video: http://youtu.be/GPGYwVEHZJA

Wednesday's Woe - The Train Wreck of Our Grief

Wednesday's Woe

The Train Wreck of Our Grief

I dreamed this morning of my little girl, about 4-years-old in the dream, on vacation with us, wanting to wear her princess gown to play with her friends... 

But as I was unpacking it for her to wear, she ran out onto the hotel's patio, and jumped over, holding onto the railing. 

As I stiffened my body bracing it against the railing for strength, I carefully yet fearfully reached over to hopefully pull her up to safety, 

but...

she let go... 

and fell the long distance to the ground. 

As my heart was panicking that she would be hurt, I awakened...

Does the terror ever stop...?

I know the ever trying to save continues...

As our lives seem ever to be in limbo after losing our child, I thought this morning... 

It seems when I lost you, I not only lost you,

I lost me too...

...For I still seem to live in Limbo-Land.

And yet...

Charles Spurgeon captures the devastation of our loss amidst the tender love of our Lord so well in his quote. It seems that despite the worst that has happened, somehow God intervenes as only His Love can do...

“I bear my witness that the worst days I have ever had have turned out to be my best days. And when God has seemed most cruel to me He has then been most kind. If there is anything in this world for which I would bless him more than for anything else it is for pain and affliction. I am sure that in these things the richest tenderest love has been manifested to me. Our Father's wagons rumble most heavily when they are bringing us the richest freight of the bullion of his grace. Love letters from heaven are often sent in black-edged envelopes. The cloud that is black with horror is big with mercy. Fear not the storm. It brings healing in its wings and when Jesus is with you in the vessel the tempest only hastens the ship to its desired haven.” 

― Charles H. Spurgeon

And his following quote rings so true...

“The Lord's mercy often rides to the door of our hearts on the black horse of affliction. Jesus uses the whole range of our experiences to wean us from earth and woo us to Heaven.”

― Charles H. Spurgeon, All of Grace

Quotes from Charles H. Spurgeon, thanks to GoodReads.com

Wednesday's Woe - Missing My Mom and My Daughter

Wednesday's Woe

Missing My Mom and My Daughter

Today has been such a sad day for me, missing both my mother and my daughter. 

My mother, also a child-loss mom, having lost my oldest brother to cancer when he was only 38 years old, was so adept at understanding my painful grief over Merry Katherine. I was so blessed to have her live to the age of 97 years old, able to live in her own home (the home I grew up in), sleeping in her own bed until her death. We had such sweet times together on my visits home, whether we were crying together over grief, or laughing together over one another's antics, it was all so precious. And to be able to be nurtured by her so sweetly even as I was getting the privilege of nurturing her creates such warm places in my heart even today.

Just a few months before her death, on one visit home, she taught me a prayer I had never heard in all my years with her. In and out of her dementia, one night she just rattled off this beautifully sweet prayer that just captures the gentle love of Jesus for us, His tender lambs. I was stunned to hear her so articulately remembering every word of this very poignant prayer. 

When I later looked it up on the internet, I saw that it was a very old Methodist prayer and realized she was just a little girl when she first learned this prayer she had kept in her heart for a lifetime. One internet site showed that between the years of 1893 and 1923, there was a song with the words of this prayer that was found in 2 % of the hymnals in those days! (My grandmother, "MaMa" was 6 years old when the prayer first appeared in hymnals; she was born in 1887---100 years before Merry Katherine was born. MaMa lived long enough to see Merry Katherine, then died just four months later. My mother was born in 1913, so the prayer/song was available in hymnals for the first ten years of her life!) Evidently, Mother's special prayer was included in a collection of songs prepared especially for the primary and infant departments of the Sunday School, starting in 1893.

And in all my years with her, to think I had never even heard her speak of this wonderful little prayer! I am the youngest of six children; evidently she taught it to the first four children, then taught my brother and me a completely different prayer in our early days of childhood. She took great joy in teaching it to me in her latter days (at the age of 97!), repeating it word for word until I got it down accurately on paper. It was amazing to me. 

When she first said the prayer, her helper and I were holding hands with her as we prayed, and when I heard the words, I cried. (Her words could be understood in two ways, the way she had been taught it as a child, but also as words that would be looking to God's Ultimate Morning Light where she would soon be headed, and I, of course, was wanting to hold onto her here for as long as I could, so the tears just poured.) Here is the prayer that she said that night, and you will see it again, incorporated into the prayers I wrote early this morning...

Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me;

Bless Thy little lamb tonight.

Thro' the darkness be Thou near me;

Keep me safe till morning light.

Thinking of Mother...

Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me;

Bless Thy little lamb tonight.

Thro' the darkness be Thou near me;

Keep me safe till morning light.

Treasured moments with Mom I had,

Treasured moments kept out the bad...

Now my Father, she's in Your arms,

Kept safe in You with no alarms.

Will You both hold me in Your arms?

World's greatest Love, all Darkness disarms.

Thinking of Merry Katherine...

6 years now, you've been with Jesus;

Can you tell me what that's like?

Here on earth, we know He's with us,

Replacing Darkness with His Light.

6 years now, you've been with Love,

No sin nor sadness hanging on;

Lightness surrounds like clouds above,

Yielding peace like Heaven's Dawn.

I too long to be with Jesus,

Held in His arms, He gently greets us...

All is sweet, our sadness gone...

Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me;

Bless Thy little lamb tonight.

Thro' the darkness be Thou near me;

Keep me safe till morning light.

Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me:

Hold my little lamb tonight.

In my heart please keep her near me;

Hold us close till Morning's Light!

Thinking of Mother, Merry Katherine, and me...

Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me:

Bless Thy little lambs tonight...

Thro' the darkness be Thou near us;

Keep us close till Morning's Light!

Artwork: Jesus and the lamb, thanks to Katherine Brown, artist
3 Poems - Thinking of Mother, Merry Katherine, and Me - Angie Bennett Prince - 8/21/2012

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Unfailing Love ~Chris Tomlin

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Unfailing Love

~Chris Tomlin

Unfailing Love

~Chris Tomlin

You have my heart

And I am Yours forever

You are my strength

God of grace and power

And everything You hold in Your hand...

Still You make time for me;

I can't understand.

Praise You God of Earth and sky,

How beautiful is Your unfailing love,

Unfailing love.

And You never change God -

You remain the Holy One,

My Unfailing Love,

Unfailing Love!

You are my rock -

The One I hold on to.

You are my song,

And I sing for You.

And everything You hold in Your hand...

Still You make time for me -

I can't understand!

Praise You God of Earth and sky,

How beautiful is Your Unfailing Love,

Unfailing Love.

And You never change - God You remain

The Holy One:

My Unfailing love,

Unfailing love.

And everything You hold in Your hand...

Still You make time for me -

I can't understand!

Praise You God of Earth and Sky,

How beautiful is Your Unfailing Love,

Unfailing love!

And You never change God You remain

The Holy One:

My Unfailing love,

Unfailing love!

I will praise You!

Praise You God of earth and sky,

How beautiful is Your Unfailing Love,

Unfailing Love!

And You never change - God You remain

The Holy One:

My Unfailing Love,

Unfailing Love

Unfailing Love

Unfailing Love

Unfailing Love

Unfailing Love!

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_MyC6kJzPg&feature=related

Friday's Faith - A Day in the Life of Grief

Friday's Faith

A Day in the Life of Grief

or

Whoever said,

"God's in His Heaven; all's right with the world"?

I'm depressed today... I don't know why.

The day is pretty, no cloud in the sky.

Toad frog squats patiently, so still on th' rail.

Gnatcatchers zoom by; how quickly they sail.

Flowers are blooming... Racoon's in the yard!

I am still breathing... Why is grief so hard?

My dog is playful. My husband is sweet.

Tearing up, I feel lost and incomplete.

"God's in His Heaven. All's right with the world?"

If this is so, where is my baby girl?

...She smiles and says, "I'm right here, Mommy!"

My tears fall. I get a hug from Tommy.

I hug him back. I smile at her, wipe tears...

Again God's soothing faithfully appears.

When my depression begins to shift...

I feel God's comfort, and my sadness lift.

Such is a day in the life of grief:

You think you will die. Then God sends relief.

God, bless all mommies and daddies in our grief!

Now Tommy calls out, "The hawk chased the dove!"

Life...then death... Nature plays it out above...

Paradox of Nature: Death mixed in with Life...

till God returns from Heaven, t' end all darkness rife

when He commands:

"Death, be destroyed by Life!"

*******

(Now th' raccoon eats from our dog's feeder:

Th' raccoon posing as a dog, what a sight!

Th' brazenness of nature...in broad daylight!)

******

In solitary silence we listen with great attentiveness to the voice that calls us the beloved. God speaks to the deepest strata of our souls, into our self-hatred and shame, our narcissism, and takes us through the night into the daylight of His truth:

"Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, you are Mine. You are precious in My eyes, because you are honored and I love you . . . the mountains may depart, the hills be shaken, but My love for you will never leave you and My covenant of peace with you will never be shaken" (Isaiah 43:1,4; 54:10).

~Brennan Manning, Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging

picture: http://www.fotosearch.com/bu/CSP053/k0533900/

"God's in His heaven" quote, Robert Browning (1812-1889)

Those Nail-Scarred Hands

Those Nail-Scarred Hands

@AngiePrince Hey, sweet Angie! May your heart be held tenderly in those nail-scarred hands to bring you comfort and peace.

Love ya!

I received the above "tweet" from another "Twitter Sister" Lynn Mosher yesterday that touched my heart deeply, and left me in a tender pile, weeping...

So later in the evening, I read her post from her blog, "Heading Home," and it too touched my heart deeply, stopping me in my tracks. So I asked and received Lynn's gracious permission to include her post here for you! You can find her blog at http://lynnmosher.blogspot.com/

Lynn Mosher's Blog post from yesterday along with my response to her:

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Not a Day for Words

Today is one of those days. You know. You’ve had them. Your heart is aching because life aimed its fiery darts at your heart and set it on fire and you need to hear some precious words of comfort from the Lord.

Maybe you tossed all night, kicking off the hot covers, turning over the tear-stained pillow a thousand times, hearing nothing but the beat of your own heart.

Maybe you watched for the first glint of dawn, as the clock seduced you to check it every fifteen minutes.

Maybe the words you need to hear are not for yourself but for someone you love dearly who is hurting, deeply hurting.

You yell out, “Lord, where are You?”

Then comes this whisper from the Still Small Voice…

“Today is not a day for many words. Just believe and sit quietly before Me. Open your heart and be aware of My Presence.”

After that, no more words. Nada. Zilch. Zippity-do-dah!

But then, verses bubble up from within…

*“Be still, and know…” (Ps. 46:10 NKJV)

*“But He answered her not a word.” (Matt. 15:23 NKJV)

*“She came and, kneeling, worshiped Him and kept praying.” (Matt. 15:25 Amp)

*“And behold, a woman…stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil.” (Luke 7:37-38 NKJV)

How often do we sit at the feet of our Lord just to feel His nearness, His heartbeat, His love? How often do we seek a handout rather than to hold His hand? Do we open our hearts and pour out upon Him that precious perfume of our love…without saying a word?

David wrote, “What a blessing is that stillness as He brings them safely into harbor!” (Ps. 107:30 TLB) When you experience His stillness, may it be a soft resonance within you as harmony, safety, and peace.

Oh, Lord, when in the blackest hours of my pain, when adversity attempts to overwhelm me, and there is no word from You, I will believe You are still near. I will believe You linger by my side, though unnoticed, holding my hand, though not felt. I will believe You gently wipe away all my tears. I will believe You lovingly hold my heart in Your nail-scarred hands. I will believe You soothe all my hurts. Lord, may I sit adoringly at Your feet to seek Your Presence rather than Your hand, to seek Your heartbeat rather than Your words. Amen!

My Response:

Grieving Mother/Therapist, Angie Bennett Prince said...

Dearest Lynn,

Tears. Truth. Your words penetrate my heart and all my self-centered prayers. Such a tender Savior; instead of celebrating Him, I allow myself to get caught up in "the worries of this life" that can snuff out the sweetness, the tenderness, and yes, the still, small voice of our Beloved.

Thank you for your tender soul that points me back to what is most important, to what I could so easily miss by allowing the uproar of my demands to drown out the sweetness of His love . . . His sacrificial love that called Him to give His very life for me! How could I be so blinded, deafened by my own neediness when He stands there quietly . . . ready to give me His all . . . indeed, He already has.

Thank you so much, sweet sister, for leading me back into His arms where I feel no needs, no demands, and find . . . His love . . . is enough. It is everything. I weep. In His arms. Engulfed in His love. Humbled, thankful for His forgiveness. Finding what I needed all along... for He IS love!

He leads me back to verses He showed me earlier this week:

Psalm 46: God is our refuge & strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah (translating-via Wikipedia- Selah = "Stop and listen").

(And how can we not fear with the very earth caving in?) . . . Because "The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress....Be still, and know that I am God....The Lord Almighty is WITH us; the God of Jacob IS our fortress."

Thank you dear sweet sister for helping me to "stop and listen," "to be still and know," to remember "He is WITH us!"

So thankful for you, I love you dear sister!

Angie

8/26/09 12:52 AM

I will rest now . . . in those nail-scarred hands,

In Honor Of

Another "Twitter Sister"

Who Ministers to My Heart!

Lynn Mosher

http://lynnmosher.blogspot.com/

http://lynnmosher.blogspot.com/2009/08/not-day-for-words.html#ixzz0PGIJyFLk

NailScarredHandshttp://th01.deviantart.com/fs5/300W/i/2004/320/8/c/Crucifixion_of_Jesus_by_morgue_princess.jpg