Friday's Faith — Contrast of Worlds

Friday's Faith

Contrast of Worlds

In attempting to comfort my exhausted grieving brain, I allow myself to take a "visual vacation" by perusing my new Southern Living magazine—with its pictures of delicate flowers so appealing, happy people, scenes alluring, pleasant, conventional, and sweet...I was so enjoying the beautiful pictures revealing God's lovely world in this issue of "Charleston's Romantic Charm"...

...But my poor traumatized brain cannot let go. Like an olympic skating champion sliding around his opponent at the last minute, my traumatized right brain suddenly overrides my left brain, replacing these pictures of God's beautiful world with abrupt, raw, intrusive images of the stark, ugly, abhorrent world of death I've been thrown into with the loss of my baby girl.

Tears fall. The contrast is too great.

The magazine's delightfully displayed normal scenes of God's world that once accurately reflected the joy of my heretofore normal world are instantaneously contrasted with my world now, ugly and grey...horrid, repugnant, loathsome, and repulsive.

So, to help my further-traumatized brain, I write these words...

Contrast of Worlds

Beautiful world...roses cascading down...

My world is ugly...death throws me aground.

Exquisitely flowering azaleas...

While I'm floundering, helpless, disabled...

What's happened? We're all a part of God's world...

Some are happy...

Others to hell are hurled!

What happened to my life...once joyful,

Once playful...

Now looking for a quarrel,

my heart's agitated, full of unrest...

easily aggravated, sad, distressed.

Beautiful life--who am I becoming?

Her death transmutes...I'm volcano, rumbling...

Once happy, glowing eyes...to

eyes now haunted,

Life overflowing...

now, by death...taunted.

How do I deal with the repugnant mess?

I turn to God's Word; my pain I confess...

There I find answers to my dark distress...

If I go up to the heavens,

You are there;

if I make my bed in the

depths, You are there.

If I rise on the wings of the

dawn,

if I settle on the far side of

the sea,

even there Your hand will

guide me,

Your right hand will hold

me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness

will hide me

and the light become night

around me,"

even the darkness will not be

dark to You;

the night will shine like the

day,

for darkness is as light to

You.

Give me Your vision, my child's death to see

through the vast prism of eternity

where darkness becomes light, night shines like day,

night reveals Light, in darkness, show the way...

"I'm in the dearth of death's darkness!"

(Then) You say,

"I am your Light... despite darkness rife...

In death's dark night of the soul..."

You say,

"Child, I Am the Way, the Truth, and the Life...

Death's dark night pales in the Light of My Way.

Cling to Me by faith; I'll light up your way..."

With God's healing balm caressing my ravaged heart, with promises that no matter how dark the way, He will walk with me. For me right now, in this moment, that is enough - He soothes my heart; He lights my day.

Scripture ~Psalm 139:8-12

Poem - Contrast of Worlds - Angie Bennett Prince - 2/22/2010

Monday's Mourning Ministry - When I Get Where I'm Going

Monday's Mourning Ministry

When I Get Where I'm Going

The last beach trip Merry Katherine and I went on was in August, 2005. She had just bought a Country Music CD called "Believe," and she wanted me to hear it as we rode to the beach together. The CD had several wonderful songs on it that I am sure I will want to share with you sometime. This song of Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton, called "When I Get Where I'm Going" was on it, and I loved it at the time. Now, looking back at it, I am amazed that we listened to it together just one year before she was killed. At the time of course, we had no idea that "When I Get Where I'm Going" was exactly where she would be going soon... to Heaven...on August 2, 2006. The adventure that it describes sounds just like what Merry Katherine would want to do when she would get there, with her adventuresome spirt...

When I Get Where I'm Going

Brad Paisley

(Featuring Dolly Parton)

When I get where I'm going

On the far side of the sky

The first thing that I'm gonna do

Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion

And run my fingers through his mane

Or I might find out what it's like

To ride a drop of rain

[Chorus]

Yeah when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

Yeah when I get where I'm going

Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy

And he'll match me step for step

And I'll tell him how I missed him

Every minute since he left

Then I'll hug his neck

[Repeat chorus]

Yeah when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

Yeah when I get where I'm going

Don't cry for me down here

So much pain and so much darkness

In this world we stumble through

All these questions I can't answer

So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going

And I see my maker's face

I'll stand forever in the light

Of his amazing grace

Yeah when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

Hallelujah

I will love and have no fear

When I get where I'm going

Yeah when I get where I'm going

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YMLmlHfehQ

Thursday's Therapy - What Helps Me As I Deal with Grief

Thursday's Therapy

What Helps Me Deal with Grief:

• • Establish an environment of safety:
  • Quiet time
  • Uninterrupted time
  • Safe people only around me
  • Write out my grief process:
  • Any questions I have
  • Whatever feelings emerge
  • Conversation with God about my loss
  • Conversation with my deceased child
  • Allow the feelings to come; encourage them to come
  • Comfort and receive comfort from other grieving parents
  • Read my Bible

  o Open myself up for God to speak to me

  o Open myself up for God to comfort me

  • Write poems to express my feelings:
  • Express my logical thoughts (left brain)
  • Express my creative side (right brain)
  • Allow the Holy Spirit to minister as I write
  • Intervention (Showing new pathways for my grief)
  • Correcting (His view of my loss)
  • Comfort (Reminding me of who He is regarding my loss)
  • Develop healthy boundaries:
  • Determine what I think I am able to do, and what I am unable to do
  • Determine who I am able be around, and who I am not
  • Take care of my physical and emotional needs
  • Be sure I eat healthily
  • Get good exercise
  • Be sure I get 8 hours of sleep each night
  • Get sunshine
  • Add right-brain activities

  Ø Listen to music

  Ø Ponder and view the beauty of God’s world

  Ø Enjoy the taste of a good meal

  Ø Physical comfort of being close to my husband

  Ø Meditation

  Ø Enjoy the aroma of cut flowers from my garden

  Ø View pretty pictures

  Ø View pictures of birds, flowers, butterflies from my magazines or on the internet

  Ø Sit by a crackling fire

  Ø Hike on a mountain trail

  Ø Garden, enjoying getting my hands in the dirt

  Ø Hold my dog

  Ø Bask in a warm bath or spa

  Ø Take a walk, focusing on the beauty around me

  Ø Jump on my trampoline

  Ø Mow the lawn

  
  

**********

P.S. Please find pink flowers from this post on left side-bar, and take my Grief Survey! Thank you!

Monday’s Mourning Ministry - Go Rest High

"The Piercing Light Of His Love Defeats

The Darkness & Despair Of Loss"

~Danielle Helms

Monday’s Mourning Ministry

Searching the Bible on Behalf of us Bereaved Parents as we Grieve Our Great Loss…

"(God) has sent (Jesus) to bind up the brokenhearted . . . to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve (in His family)--to bestow on (us) a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (We) will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor."

Isaiah 61:1b,2b,3

“Go Rest High”

Written by Vince Gill for his brother's funeral

Sung by Vince Gill/Sonya Isaacs/Becca Isaacs

Go Rest High!

And for those who have gone on to Heaven before us:

"The ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away." Isaiah 51:11

***********

Vince Gill's song captures Merry Katherine’s life at the time she was killed. She so loved her Lord, yet she was fully engulfed in a spiritual battle for her soul. Vince just captures it:

She loved to belt out songs to God in her bedroom; her love for God was real . . . is real. Her precocious nature was real also: “You weren’t afraid to face the devil . . .” “You were no stranger to the rain” “I know your life . . . on earth . . . was troubled” “Only you could know the pain . . .”

And her spirit was so tender, so loving, so in love with the very God with whom she struggled: “Wish I could see the angels faces when they hear your sweet voice sing . . .” “Go to Heaven a-shoutin’ love for the Father and the Son!”

So sweet Merry Katherine,

“Go rest high on that mountain; baby, your work on earth is done. Go to Heaven a-shoutin’ love for the Father and the Son! Yes, go to Heaven a-shoutin’ love for the Father and the Son!”

***********

The Isaacs sing with Vince on this video; their own music is a favorite of mine to hear. Merry Katherine would also hear their songs playing in my room as I listened to them almost constantly during those tumultuous days of praying for, pulling for, my baby girl in her struggle.

They just did a concert at the Tennessee Theatre last weekend to benefit Alzheimers suffererers (the very day I fell and broke my pelvis). They are from a town just about 50 miles north of us.

As a family, the Isaacs have had their own struggles of loss that have breathed life into their outcries to God through song. In other words, they “get it”! We have gotten to know them and love each one of them; we are so very thankful for them and their ministry to our hearts . . . to our broken hearts.

With special thanks to

The Isaacs: Sonya, Lily, Rebbecca, and Ben

http://isaacsinsiders.blogspot.com/

All Scripture in New International Version

http://twitpic.com/ebsxy Picture by Danielle Helms, friend and grieving mom

http://twitpic.com/e86lz Picture by Danielle Helms, friend and grieving mom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV_xFOdgfJI&feature=related

http://isaacsinsiders.blogspot.com/

Monday’s Mourning Ministry

Searching the Bible on Behalf of us Bereaved Parents as we Grieve Our Great Loss…

Monday’s Mourning Ministry

Streams of tears flow from my eyes because my people are destroyed. My eyes will flow unceasingly without relief, until the Lord looks down from Heaven and sees . . .

My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord. I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”

Lamentations 3:48-50, 18-23 NIV

He’s Always Been Faithful

~ Sara Groves

Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord, Unto Me

(He's Always Been Faithful)

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful
He’s always been faithful to me.

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHFK94QH5sU Sara Groves: He's Always Been Faithful

http://thundafunda.com/393/?level=picture&id=3184

Counselor, “Heal Thyself!"

hope …is what keeps me alive

The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope. 

~Psalm 34:18 CEV 

Counselor, “Heal Thyself!"

 

Light-headed, can’t catch my breath, panic-struck,

Triggered, hypervigilant; now I’m stuck . . .

Hap’ning again – signs of PTSD —

Time for this counselor—“practice what you preach!”

. . . A song . . . “God is moving by His Spirit . . .”

Comes to mind—my “right brain” needs to hear it!

God hovers near; shortly, here come the tears.

Panic is broken . . . and so are my fears.

A simple song from a former church life,

The pastor would sing, soothing each of us . . .

Soothing harried hearts to a quiet hush . . . .  

I “hear” him sing . . . then . . . here comes the knife—

This man of God too, lost his precious child;

My crying heart cannot be reconciled:

So much suffering here—in our lives on earth—

Losing our children – what’s all this pain worth?

It ravages our lives, renders us weak . . .

My son reminds–That’s when we hear God speak!

The Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief

Ministers to my heart, brings sweet relief . . .

Thank You O God for a way through the pain;

You provide Your light amidst death’s dark bane.

You said, “In this world, you will have trouble.”

(This is so true—I lost my baby girl!)

“But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

Your Sweet Spirit lifts me from death’s rubble . . . 

 

*PTSD:  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

**God Is Moving By His Spirit

            God is Moving By His Spirit,

            Moving o’er all the earth,

            Signs and wonders when God moveth,

            Move, O Lord,  in me.

what if i got it wrong, picture originally uploaded by jane.bird.

In memory of Paul Dana Walker, Jr.  1956 - 1980

In memory of Merry Katherine Prince  3/29/1987 - 8/2/2006

Written 5/17/09 – Counselor, “Heal Thyself!” – Angie Bennett Prince