Tuesday's Trust - My Blessing Becomes My Curse? or Investment of Fools?

Tuesday's Trust

My Blessing Becomes My Curse?

or

Investment of Fools?

"All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes."

— Cormac McCarthy (The Road)

My Blessing Becomes My Curse?

or

Investment of Fools?

My blessing becomes my curse?

I loved you; then enters... the hearse?

All invested in you, my "Wall Street" crashes;

Investments of my heart birthed in grief and ashes.

Love's Investments decimated to ash,

Or did they culminate the night of your crash?

From love's hands into Love's hands,

Taken from fallen world into Golden City lands.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

From Death bursts Life, by faith we trust:

God births Resurrection;

To Death comes Life's Insurrection.

Investments in your soul

yielded better than purest gold!

No need for anyone's earthly pity

As you walk the streets of God's Golden City...

From Adam's curse of death,

God gave you His Son's breath...

It was no investment of fools

That would yield such Eternal Jewels!

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

From Death bursts Life, by faith we trust!

Photo: photobucket.com

Cormac McCarthy quote: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4178.Cormac_McCarthy

Poem - My Blessing Becomes My Curse? or Investment of Fools? - Angie Bennett Prince - 5/15/10

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Resurrection

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Resurrection

Only the protected have the privilege of making theology a discussion; the endangered cling to it and weep.

...on Jane Dixon Tillitski's Facebook profile

Last week, you heard from Todd Smith about the loss of his and Angie's baby Audrey Caroline on April 7, 2008. In Todd's testimony, he mentioned that within six weeks, he and his sister both lost their babies. His sister, Nicol Sponberg once sang with Todd in Selah, but she now has launched out on her own.

Below is the testimony of Nicol and her husband Greg telling about the birth of their only son Gregory Luke on March 17, 2008 and then their unexplained loss of baby Luke on May 27, 2008.

After you hear their testimony, the next video will be of Nicol singing her song Resurrection, made before her baby had been born and then died...

But how telling are the words of the song Resurrection for her now, and for each of us as we mourn the loss of our precious children and wonder when we will ever feel life surging through our hearts, souls and bodies again...

"They Have Not Been Protected from Tears or Hurt"

Testimony of Nicol and Greg Sponberg's loss on May 27, 2008 of baby Luke

Resurrection

Resurrection

Nicol Sponberg

Lyrics

I'm at a loss for words, there's nothing to say

I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place

How did my heart become so lifeless and cold

Where did the passion go?

When all my efforts seem like chasing wind

I've used up all my strength and there's nothing left to give

I've lost the feeling and I'm numb to the core

I can't fake it anymore.

chorus:

Here I am at the end I'm in need of resurrection

Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead

What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption

You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again

You speak and all creation falls to its knees

You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea

You have a way of turning winter to spring

Make something beautiful out of all this suffering

chorus 2:

Here I am once again I'm in need of resurrection

Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead

What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption

You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again

You have a way of turning winter to spring

Make something beautiful out of all this suffering

chorus

******

This is why I told you that no one can come to Me unless the Father has enabled him.

From this time many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him.

You do not want to leave too, do you? Jesus asked the Twelve.

Simon Peter answered him,

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God."

John 6:65-69

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.

We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.

According to the Lord's own word we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.

He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with Him.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

I Thessalonians 4:13-18, 5:9-11

Hour of Power Interview with Nicol and Greg Sponberg: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhqnk6zwm3g

Nicol singing Resurrection: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOEGPQZWlR4

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Redeemer

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Redeemer

This song, Redeemer, by Nicole C. Mullen was a favorite of Merry Katherine’s. She loved to belt it out, singing along with her stereo in the privacy of her bedroom. And how it ministered to her mommy’s heart as we played the song at her funeral. At the end of the song in the version Nicole sang “in Merry Katherine’s bedroom” and played at her funeral, Nicole sang,

“I know He’s alive; I talked with Him this morning,”

I could literally see Merry Katherine in Heaven, talking with Jesus face-to-face that morning of her funeral, and it brought life to me in my darkest hour…

Redeemer

Nicole C. Mullen

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?

And who taught the ocean you can only come this far?

And who showed the moon where to hide till evening?

Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

(chorus)

Well I know my redeemer lives!

I know my Redeemer lives!

All of creation testifies;

This life within me cries

I know my Redeemer lives!

The very same God that spins things in orbit

He runs to the weary, the worn, and the weak,

And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken,

They conquered death to bring me victory!

(chorus)

Now I know my Redeemer lives!

See, I know my Redeemer lives!

So let all creation testify,

Let this life within me cry,

I know my Redeemer– (Guess what y’all)

He lives to take away my shame; (O TY Jesus!)

He lives forever I'll proclaim

That the payment for my sin

Was the precious life he gave—

But now He's alive and

There's an empty grave!

And I know my Redeemer lives!

(You see I know my Redeemer lives!)

I know my Redeemer lives!

(I know that I know,

I know that I know; I know that I know…)

I know my Redeemer lives!

I know my Redeemer lives!

(See I know that My Redeemer lives

And because He lives I can face tomorrow!)

He lives! He lives!

(O thank You Jesus!

You see the tomb is empty, y’all!

He lives! Can I get a witness that He lives?

He walks and talks; He moves and breathes—

He really lives!

So, we gotta tell everybody,

He lives…

(He lives!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!)

******

The last verse of the version played at Merry Katherine’s funeral:

And I know my Redeemer lives

I know my Redeemer lives

Let all creation testify

Let this life within me cry

I know my Redeemer

I know my Redeemer lives

I know my Redeemer lives

I know my Redeemer lives

Because He lives I can face tomorrow

He lives! He lives!

I spoke with Him this morning!

He lives! He lives!

The tomb is empty!

{See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p4G2GbPYQA for this version.}

And because He lives, and He lives in her, I have the promise that my baby lives too...

But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you.

Romans 8:10-11

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;

John 11:25

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cwoXr27XGY

What Did My Faith Lack?

I was reading a passage from a book today when I got triggered and wrote the following poem. The passage that triggered me was from Wayne Jacobsen’s book, He Loves Me: Learning to Live in the Father’s Affection:

Trust: it is so easy to talk about but so hard to put into
practice. Nothing is more theologically certain than that God is
faithful and trustworthy. But learning how to live in that trust
through the twists and turns of our lives is the most difficult
challenge we face.
It took God almost Abraham’s entire life to teach Abraham
the joy of trusting him. But he did it. Finally when the patriarch
was asked to give up his only son and heir, he trusted God’s plan
and God’s nature enough to set about the task . . . .

What Did My Faith Lack?


. . . But God, when You asked Abraham to give
Up Isaac, and he did . . . he got him back!
His child was spared; he was able to live!
I’m taken aback; what did my faith lack?

I gave my child to You, and yet she died!
Abraham’s feat’s known as an act of “faith,”
And yet my heart to You truly complied;
All I have left of my child . . . is a wraith!

Forgive my impudence; I don’t understand!
Please come alongside, take me by the hand.
For my faith, I feel I got . . . Your backhand,
And now I live in Death’s barren wasteland.

You are my Father; You want honesty;
Please help Your child; by faith I cannot see.


“But child, don’t you see? You must lean on Me.
Cry to Me your tears; I will help you see!
I am your Daddy through Death’s Dark Valley …
Put your hand in Mine; I will help you see.

“You must “see” My kingdom’s not of this world;
Your baby lives! I hold your baby girl!
Your baby lies in My arms, safely curled,
At peace, where the Serpent cannot unfurl.

“Faith is being sure of what you hope for,
Being certain of what you do not see
You know My heart toward this child you adore;
By faith, you must keep your eyes upon Me.

“You know My heart! I don’t destroy; I save!
‘Evil One’ kills. – To your child, Life I gave!
For her soul’s safety, My Son, His life gave;
She trusted Him, so her sins I forgave;
I don’t kill; I resurrect from the grave!

“You must ever keep your eyes upon Me—
Peter had to keep his eyes off the waves;
By faith he had to keep his eyes on Me;
So you must see Me, and not all the graves . . .
Life does not end there when a child knows Me;
I overcome all the waves and the graves!

Just as by faith, you gave your child to Me,
So by faith, please know: Your child rests in Me!”

*******************


Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
Then God said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.”
Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.”
Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?”
“Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.
“The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”
Abraham answered, “God Himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.
When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it,. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
“Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”
Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place “The Lord will provide.” And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”
The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, “I swear by Myself,” declares the Lord, “that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through you offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed Me.”
Genesis 22:1-18 NIV

By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.
Hebrews 11:17-19 NIV

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Psalm 23 KJV

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, My servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now My kingdom is from another place.”
John 18:33 NIV

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1 NIV

(Jesus said,) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
John 10:10-11 NIV

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16 KJV

Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies;”
John 11:25 NIV

During the fourth watch of the night, Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw Him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s You,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to You on the water.”
“Come,” He said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”
Matthew 14:25-33 NIV

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2 NIV

He tends His flock like a Shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart . . . .
Isaiah 40:11 NIV


Written 4/15/09 - What Did My Faith Lack? - Angie Bennett Prince

What Happened to My Baby Girl?!

What Happened to My Baby Girl?!

Who were you really?

Yes, it sounds silly—

I knew you so well;

Now I’m living hell.

How can I go on—

One God gave on loan

Is no longer here;

I can’t change the gear;

I can’t move forward;

I can’t go toward

Life—I live in death,

Dying each life’s breath,

Missing one I love

Though she’s gone above,

My heart’s gone to hell

Since the day you fell . . . .

Where were you headed

Restless, pathetic—

Why did you so cling

To the sick’ning thing

That drained life away,

Making color gray,

Making happy sad,

Making honest bad,

S-t-e-a-l-i-n-g you from me,

Killing my baby!

See how I am stuck

In the mire and muck?

So lost . . . grieving you,

And then wondering who . . .

Who you really were—

I didn’t know . . . her—

The one friends describe

As one who’d imbibe,

Treating people mean,

Manipulating,

Lying through your teeth.

M-a-r-i-j-u-a-n-a leaf

Controlled ev’ry move,

All moves to behoove

Smoking that next joint . . .

But what was the point—

To escape your life . . .

Into darkness rife?

They say you looked “hard,”

Cuts me like a shard;

My baby was soft

With no hacking cough.

She smelled like a rose,

No stench to the nose,

No cigarette stench

Where noses would pinch

To refresh the air.

But you didn’t care;

You just wanted more . . . .

Our LOVE you’d ignore;

It got in your way

Of having your way:

Party, sleep, repeat:

Destruction replete.

Well, you got your wish,

And I got anguish.

So you were destroyed,

And I face the void,

Wond’ring what happened,

Living life, saddened . . .

Where’d my baby go . . .

That – I’ll never know!

So I’m left to die

Broken heart inside,

Witnessing your death

Before . . . your last breath!

What happened to you

. . . Before . . . death took you?

My sweet baby’s gone,

Stolen by a clone

That people describe

Without you inside . . . .

THAT must be the child

Who’s tender and mild,

God resurrected

When death infected

Out-of-control-child

Who stole you, went wild.

So THAT’S where you are!

Perched upon a star,

Talking with Mommy—

No more a zombie!

You have your TRUE soul;

God has made you whole!

That’s why I feel blessed

And my heart caressed

When we two commune,

Our hearts back in tune!

My baby is here;

Her spirit is near . . . .

No more bound by chains,

Now your heart regains

The soul God gave you

When He made you new.

Now I can rejoice;

I hear your REAL voice!

Though my baby’s “gone,”

She’s no more a clone!

Though death’s a fact,

My baby is back!

Bless-ed be Your name;

You all pow’r reclaim.

Buried in the tomb

You’ve changed to a womb

That begets the child

Satan had beguiled.

Now she is restored

As our prayers implored!

It’s like Jesus said,

Before He was dead . . .

“Wheat must fall and die

To reap its real life!

So each man must die

To reap his true life!”

Baby, though you died,

In Him you abide!

Now freed from all sin,

True freedom you win.

You live though you died!

In peace, I'll abide;

God's love comes beside . . .

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. 1 Timothy 6:17- 19


Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:23-25


Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies . . . ."


Written 4/9/09 - What Happened to My Baby Girl?! - Angie Bennett Prince