Monday's Mourning Ministry - You Won't Let Go ~Michael W. Smith

Monday's Mourning Ministry

You Won't Let Go

~Michael W. Smith

Based on the following Scripture, Michael W. Smith has written a new song, "You Won't Let Go":

God's Promise is Certain

13For when God made the promise to Abraham, since He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself, 14saying, "I WILL SURELY BLESS YOU AND I WILL SURELY MULTIPLY YOU."  15And so, having patiently waited, he obtained the promise. 16For men swear by one greater than themselves, and with them an oath given as confirmation is an end of every dispute. 17In the same way God, desiring even more to show to the heirs of the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose, interposed with an oath, 18so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. 19This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil, 20where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.

~Hebrews 6:13-20

~~~

You Won't Let Go

~Michael W. Smith

No shadow comes without the light making a way
No raging storm can ever defy one word of faith
My heart remains sure in the wind, sure in the waves

You are the anchor for my soul
You won't let go
You won't let go
No matter what may come I know
You won't let go

No valley low, changes the truth
So I'm not afraid
You hold me close
You lead me through and light up the way

You are the anchor for my soul
You won't let go
You won't let go
No matter what may come I know
You won't let go
You won't let go

Neither life, neither death,
The highest high, the deepest depth
Nothing can
Nothing can separate
Neither tears, neither trials
Certain as the sun will rise
Nothing can
Nothing can separate

Neither life, neither death,
The highest high, the deepest depth
Nothing can
Nothing can separate
Neither tears, neither trials
Certain as the sun will rise
Nothing can
Nothing can separate

You are the anchor for my soul
You won't let go
You won't let go
No matter what may come I know
You won't let go

My heart remains sure in the wind, sure in the waves, always...










Graphic, Thanks to

Christian Music Emily Gibson ~Pinterest 

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/142356038196531276/

Video ~ Thanks to

Christian Music Emily Gibson ~Pinterest 

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/142356038196531305/

and YouTube:
Grief Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEQjRNxx_Ok

Tuesday's Trust - A Prayer for You, and a Revelation...

Tuesday's Trust

A Prayer for You, and a Revelation...

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

~Ephesians 3:14-21

Over the years of reading this Scripture, I had always wondered in reading it, "How is it that we might ever have the power to really grasp the depths of Christ's love for us?" How is such comprehension really possible? In reading this familiar Scripture this week, I became aware for the first time that God is also telling us another very critical answer to a mysterious dilemma. In this Scripture, God is telling us that He wants us to know His love…, that love... that surpasses all knowledge…! 

We have so many questions about our deceased child, questions many of which will not fully be answered this side of Heaven. So how is it we live with such vacuum of knowledge of that which we  feel we really need to know? God tells us here. 

Whenever I have pleadingly asked Him a question about my child, I have noticed that He doesn't always directly answer me; instead, He comes to me and meets me in my pain, and somehow there is an alchemy there, resulting in a transformation that takes place in my heart, such that my questions that were all-important in the moment are no longer so all important as I experience and am overwhelmed with being in the presence of God Himself, and of feeling such amazing and tender love toward me and toward my child, and suddenly, that IS enough. The questions just seem to melt into thin air.

And now, I see why. He tells us here, that love of His, of which He wants us to know the height and depth, the width and length, is the only thing in this world that can surpass all knowledge, to the point that the details really don't matter. His love is everything that our soul needs, that our hearts crave, that our minds melt in, that our bodies bask in, and that love is all that we really need to begin to heal the brokenness that has befallen us due to the drastic devastation of Hell's worst evil that can ever befall a mommy and daddy, for it is the only thing, the only thing, that could ever be enough to absorb such evil and satisfy its hungry jowls. And then He amazingly uses that extreme vulnerability in our hearts and souls, our bodies and minds, to draw us under His wing, to be touched by His love,  to experience the sweetness of His presence, which gives us hope for yet another day...

Picture, thanks to ~Daily Scripture Promises 

Saturday's Sayings - Holding Onto Hope… Amidst Despair

Saturday's Sayings

Holding Onto Hope… Amidst Despair

~"Grief The Unspoken" 

No matter how you want to

spin it "Letting Go" has never

set well with many 

grievers. Letting go sounds 

like a direction given. We

should replace the two short 

words to "Healing Is 

Possible." Passing along hope

is what is needed. Not

direction. There are plenty of

teachers and others out in our 

world ready to give me help

with my grief. But if a person

has no hope, it makes it

difficult for the griever to

choose healing.

~~~~~

Speaking of Hope… Then, there are the days when it seems everything, including hope, is knocked out from under you… We have just been through an "anniversary" ~ of yet another birthday… without our child… And for whatever reasons, the bottom was knocked out from under us, and we went spiraling down to a deeper level of grief from which it has been terribly hard to surface for air… O, the pain of feeling such moments of hopelessness, helplessness, and despair...

~Angie and Tommy

~Wings of Hope-Living Forward

I have found in the years that have passed that I am most vulnerable at times of remembrance.  The word "anniversary" no longer holds a promise of celebration.  Instead, holidays and birthdays, family gatherings and otherwise joyous occasions contain an undertow of sorrow.  If I get caught up in it, I quickly get pulled under and wind up gasping for breath.  It is ironic that the presence of an absence can be so emotionally devastating. – Bill Jenkins ~Wings of Hope - Living Forward

~~~~~

~Remembering Sleeping Babies 

Grief rarely comes packaged in tidy stages with time frames for each. While grief can begin with disbelief, move to anger, sadness and end with acceptance, these reactions can just as readily occur every day following a loss. They may be stronger in the weeks or months after the loss and diminish as time goes on, but they may also be minimal at first or suppressed and then surge up powerfully long after one thinks one "should" be grieving.

The important aspect to remember in relation to grief is that there is no timetable to it nor any "normal" manifestations. Some people cry endlessly while others merely become quiet, some make themselves extremely busy while others sink into inertness. For some, anger predominates and for others it is deep sadness. Grief is more like a rollercoaster of emotions that rise and subside over a period of months or even years than a set of fixed reactions that one passes through and is finished with.

One will experience days of calm when acceptance seems to have finally arrived followed by a time perhaps of renewed rage or weeping. Of course, significant anniversaries will likely rupture one's emotional stability again. Coming across memorabilia, photographs or passing through a place of importance to the loved and lost one can also lead to a welling of grief once more.

~Wings of Hope-Living Forward

~Thanks to Grieving Mother, Lu Prudhomme

~~~~~

~"Grief The Unspoken" 

~~~~~

~Remembering Sleeping Babies

“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. 

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. 

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. 

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. 

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. 

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. 

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. 

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. 

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

~~~~~

~I Miss Those Close To Me Who Are Now In Heaven As Beautiful Angels

When others allow a parent or family to openly and freely talk to them about their child who has died, they are allowing that parent the blessing of remembering that child's life, validating that their child had purpose and meaning, and they are helping that parent to be a parent. Just because a child dies does not mean a parent is no longer a parent! And, as we know, every parent loves to talk about his/her child -- even if that child is no longer here on earth! It is such a blessing for others to say, "I remember your child, too! I have a story to tell you." Or, if the child loss occurred during miscarriage or other early loss, "I was so happy for you when you were pregnant. I'm praying for you and hope your heart isn't feeling so broken today." Eloquent words aren't needed, but caring words are!

~Silent Grief - Child-Loss Support

~Thanks to Grieving Mother, Kathryn Bonnett

~~~~~

~"Grief The Unspoken" 

You're Still Here - Richard Lepinsky

At the finest level of my being,

you're still with me.

We still look at each other,

at that level beyond sight.

We talk and laugh with each other,

in a place beyond words.

We still touch each other,

on a level beyond touch.

We share time together in a place,

where time stands still.

We are still together,

on a level called Love.

But I cry alone for you,

in a place called reality.

~~~~~

~Out of the Ashes 

“Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.”

~Elisabeth Elliot

~Thanks to Hope for the Broken Hearted

~~~~~

~Out of the Ashes 

~~~~~

~Remembering Sleeping Babies 

1st Picture, thanks to ~"Grief The Unspoken" 

Tuesday's Trust - What do you do When Hope Dies?

Tuesday's Trust

What do you do When Hope Dies?

In your depressed state as you face your child's death and realize you will never see them again on this earth, do you sometimes feel you want to die, or wish you would just die too, because you cannot imagine ever finding any relief again since your child died? 

And sometimes do you drift away from God, perhaps in your disillusionment with your child's death, so that it even seems all hope has died? 

What do we do then When Hope Dies?

I received the following message in an email a few weeks ago from GriefShare; in it Dr. Stowell tells us what he believes is really the only thing we can do when our hope has died...

Grief Runs Deep: Where Is the Hope?

Dr. Joseph Stowell says, 

"Even though your heart is breaking and tears are clouding your eyes and staining your cheeks, God does give us something worth trusting in tough times. 

"And that's Him, and Him alone." 

When your heart is breaking, you can place your hope and trust in the Lord.

~~~

Since heaven has become your home

I sometimes feel that I'm alone;

And though we now are far apart

You hold a big piece of my heart

I never knew how much I'd grieve

When it was time for you to leave

Or just how much my heart would ache

From that one fragment you would take

God let this tiny hole remain,

Reminding me we'd meet again

And one day all the pain will cease

When He restores this missing piece

For God will heal each tiny part

~picture, thanks to Grieving Mother, Gina Cannata Luffman

~~~

~picture, thanks to "Jesus Still Saves Heals and Answers Prayer"

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Worn ~Tenth Avenue North

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Worn

~Tenth Avenue North

Worn

~Tenth Avenue North

~Shared with me by 

Grieving Mother, Leslie Nelson Martin 

I'm tired, I'm worn

My heart is heavy

from the work it takes

to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes

I've let my hope fail

My soul feels crushed

by the weight of this world

And I know that You can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see

Redemption Win

Let me know

the Struggle Ends

That You can mend a heart

that's frail and torn

I want to know a Song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead inside

Can be reborn

'Cause I'm worn

I know I need

to lift my eyes up

but I'm too weak

Life just won't let up

And I know that You can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see

Redemption Win

Let me know

the Struggle Ends

That You can mend a heart

that's frail and torn

I want to know a Song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life

and all that's dead inside

can be reborn

'Cause I'm worn

my prayers are wearing thin

I'm worn

even before the day begins

Yeah, I'm worn

I've lost my will to fight

I'm worn

so Heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see

Redemption Win

Let me know

The Struggle Ends

That You can mend a heart

that's frail and torn

I want to know a Song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life

and all that's dead inside

can be reborn

Yes all that's dead inside

Will be reborn

Though I'm worn

Yeah, I'm worn

~~~~~

Then Jesus said, 

"Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

"Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

"For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

Matthew 11:28-30 (New Living Translation of The Holy Bible)

Jesus proclaimed in Luke 4:17-21 of The New Testament that He had come to this earth to fulfill the prophecy spelled out for us in The Old Testament, in Isaiah 61:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on Me,

because the Lord has anointed Me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor.

~Isaiah 61:1-3 (New International Version of The Holy Bible)

(Some capitalizations for clarity, mine)








Grief Video: http://youtu.be/UUEy8nZvpdM
Video and "Worn" Graphic, thanks to Grieving Mother, Leslie Nelson Martin

Tuesday's Trust - Loss and Gain...

Tuesday's Trust

Loss and Gain...

What happened to my family, dear Lord, I cry:

So close, intimate, worshipers together of You

And yet now, there's so little of which we see eye-to-eye,

And their hearts seem so merciless, at least in my view.

And yet, my hubby of 33 1/2 years is dearer to me than ever;

My sons have hearts for You;

My granddaughter's heart so precious,

And my baby… is entwined with You.

It seems I have lost so much...

And yet I have so much I've gained:

Your heart, O God, with mine does touch,

Even melted together through pain.

My mother and my daddy, now with you, 

Our hearts enveloped together o'er time,

The bonding with them so precious

Has all the fingerprints of The Divine.

So I thank you for my blessings

Even as I grieve

For ones no longer with us,

And for hearts who've been deceived.

Melt me, break me,

Mold me, make me;

In this sweet time that's left, make me more like Thee!

You break our hearts to pour them out,

And yet we're drawn closer to Thee ~ in sweetest intimacy.

God's unique economy: You empty us, yet ever pour Your glory out…

Comfort us, O comfort Lord; Draw near, e'en as You give the Enemy rout.

First picture, thanks to ~Memories from Miloh

Last picture, thanks to ~365 Promises 

Poem - Loss and Gain - Angie Bennett Prince - 10/29/2012

Friday's Faith - God's Faithfulness Amidst Our Angst

Ellie, on Friday afternoon, 9/ 28/2012

Friday's Faith

God's Faithfulness Amidst Our Angst

Late with my post again today, writing it in the wee hours of Saturday morning instead of on Friday, having chosen the pillow over the pen in last night's evening hours…

Keeping our grandbaby Ellie three days in a row! Delightful but exhausting!!!

At almost 14-months-old, Ellie is beginning to walk for up to 10-15 steps without falling. Steps I often need to follow so closely to keep our precious little one out of any danger.

I'll give you a few snapshots of our day on Thursday…

Bleary eyed in the early morning hours, I am feeding her the slightly-warmed Gerber chunky-applesauce (Yes! She has just enough teeth that she can chew soft foods and tiny crackers!) in my stupored, dazed-out state, while her effervescent personality soon snaps me out of my fugue with just a peppered little patting to her chest, an inside-joke from such a wee little tot, grinning mischievously with her signal to me to do my "beat on my chest and make the gruff sounds of a gorilla" feat. I obediently snap out of my daze and into my instant gorilla mode as I am immediately greeted by her peals of laughter. What a delight is this tiny bundle of life, this ray of sunshine to my ever-shadowed heart!

Later in the afternoon: 

Ellie makes her way through the blades of grass in our back lawn, trying to follow our little rat terrier dog Prissy as she patrols the back yard. Ellie (Merry Elizabeth, as she is Merry Katherine's little namesake) crawls most of the way, but as she endeavors to take on the rising terrain of the yard, she decides she will walk instead of crawl for the climb! But as the hill inclines, I watch her step… and… fall, pull herself back up, step… and… fall… delightfully pushing herself to climb the hill with her newfound skills. She makes sure I trail closely behind her, so I am enjoying this venture into God's wide expanse of wonder along with her. She leaves the shaded ground behind her and enters the dappled sunshine, ever heading toward, but never quite reaching, always-on-the-move Prissy. On some of her falls, Ellie will stop for a moment to pluck up hand-fulls of grass to feel its texture, gaze at it, and then smile. Then when she rises to stand, she lingers to touch the leaves of the almond bush (planted in Merry Katherine's memory, blooming all in pink in the spring) as its branches wave out to her at just her height. 

Flowering Almond Shrub as it blooms in the spring

After quite a while, we finish our trek as Prissy now decides to go rest on our patio. We join her there, and I am able to take a breather for a bit on our patio swing as I watch Ellie painstakingly begin to remove hand-fulls of dirt from my potted geraniums and lobelia to then drop them over into the bigger pots of petunias and mandevilla as these pots are just about as tall as she is. By the end of her hard work there, I had stripped all her clothing off including her then-sagging diaper, and she is now sporadically covered from head to toe in layers of dirt. Her dig comes to a fast end when she finally decides she needs to taste this luscious-looking black dirt and suddenly grabs a hand full and stuffs it abruptly into her mouth. Her face is scrunched, and her mouth flies open as I begin to dig what I can out of her tiny mouth!!!

A nice bath, supper, and a bottle, and she is ready to crash (after protesting the end of her day for about 30 minutes of course!).

That night, I had my usual fits with sleep, although, thanks-to-Ellie, my night of sleep started much earlier in the evening as Granna GiGi was quite tuckered out from all our day's adventures. I found myself, despite my exhaustion, retreating back to my familiar pattern of sleeping a couple of hours… to wide awake… to reading awhile… to back to sleep. But as Satan so often likes to do in the moments between my restful sleeping to my lying there wide-awake before finally succumbing to turning on the lamp to read, he picks his nightly fights with me. It seems he likes to challenge me with all the "what-if's," "if-only's," and "now-how-do-I-live" battles that challenge me when I am the least up for them. So, instead of reaching for my novel that usually distracts me long enough to lure me back to sleep (I had already tried that tactic, but on this night it doesn't seem to work), I pull out my Bible, this time "The Message" version, and open it up to one of my several book-marked pages. This book-mark happened to lodge amidst chapter 55 of the Psalms. I began to read:

"My insides are turned inside out,

specters of death have me down.

I shake with fear,

I shudder from head to foot.

'Who will give me wings,' I ask---

'wings like a dove?'

Get me out of here on dove wings,

I want some peace and quiet.

I want a walk in the country,

I want a cabin in the woods.

I'm desperate for a change

from rage and stormy weather."

I plunge through the readings that touch several dimensions of my grief-and-trauma, touching that deep pain that it may rise up from its depths inside me, even if just a bit, for some relief as God's Word resonates with my pain, and brings God closer to me.

The psalmist then visits the too-familiar-to-me, pains of friends-and-family betrayals:

"This isn't the neighborhood bully

mocking me---I could take that.

This isn't a foreign devil-spitting

invective---I could tune that out.

It's you! We grew up together!

You! My best friend!

Those long hours of leisure as we walked

arm in arm, God a third party to our conversation.

Haul my betrayers off alive to hell---let them

experience the horror, let them

feel every desolate detail of a damned life."

(OK ~ I balk at the starkness of King David's wishes somewhat at this point ~ as you and I know, we wouldn't really want to wreak this havoc, this hell of child-loss-grief-and-trauma, on ANYbody, but oh how we wish they would at least just TRY to understand some of our dilemma in its midst!!!)

He goes on . . .

"I call to God,

God will help me.

At dusk, dawn, and noon, I sigh

deep sighs---He hears, He rescues.

My life is well and whole, secure

in the middle of danger

Even while thousands 

are lined up against me.

God hears it all, and from His judge's bench

puts them in their place.

But, set in their ways, they won't change;

they pay Him no mind."

(Oh, what a breath of fresh air it is that Scripture gets it! --- So in touch with the realities we try so hard to whitewash-over out of love for our friends and loved ones, but all too often, the reality really is… "But, set in their ways, they won't change; they pay Him no mind.") 

King David continues . . .

"And this, my best friend, betrayed his best friends,

his life betrayed his word.

All my life I've been charmed by his speech,

never dreaming he'd turn on me.

His words, which were music to my ears,

turned to daggers in my heart. 

"Put your troubles on God's shoulders---

He'll carry your load, He'll help you out . . . "

King David goes on in Chapter 56 to further protest these people ~who proclaim their love, even while dishing out their secondary injuries on us~ injuries that (counter-intuitively it seems to me) sometimes loom larger even than our already great loss we grapple with every day. (I guess the betrayals of love rise up, magnified in our lenses, as they are in our face, and break our hearts even further in two.)

Then he goes back to the internal struggles we all face in our child-loss angst---

"You've kept track of my every toss and turn 

through the sleepless nights,

Each tear entered in Your ledger,

each ache written in Your book.

"If my enemies run away,

turn tail when I yell at them,

Then I'll know

that God is on my side.

"I'm proud to praise God,

proud to praise GOD.

Fearless now, I trust in God;

what can mere mortals do to me?

"God You did everything You promised,

and I'm thanking You with all my heart.

You pulled me from the brink of death,

my feet from the cliff-edge of doom."

And, get this ~the kindness of God~ who, like Ellie, plunges through my travail with the warmth of His spirit, lifting my heart to the day's delightful images of walking in the sunshine with my precious grandbaby girl . . . 

"Now I stroll at leisure with God

in the sunlit fields of life."

Ahh! The peace! The comfort! No matter our darkness, no matter our travail, He steps out of the darkness to shine His love into our hearts, to remind us of His touches of Heaven on this earth, to draw us back to His side, back to His eternal perspective . . . 

I turn out my light, lulled by God back into my much-needed sleep, mulling these delightful words that evoke such peaceful experiences in my heart, over and over, and over, until I too ~like Ellie~ am able to sleep… like a baby . . . 

"Now I stroll at leisure with God

in the sunlit fields of life."