Wednesday's Woe - The Little Engine that Couldn't... ~Tommy Prince

Wednesday's Woe

The Little Engine that Couldn't...

~Tommy Prince

You've heard of the little engine that could; now we've become the little engine that couldn't. Instead of being like the little engine that could, as bereaved parents, we rather feel like a complete train wreck! In the child's storybook, the message to children is, the little engine thought he couldn't, but when he learned to say, "I think I can; I think I can," he gained the courage to push through and overcome his weakness.

But as one father on a forensics show said tonight, 

"My daughter was killed instantly, but ever since, I have been dying a slow death." 

In the bereaved and traumatized state that we find ourselves in, the brain fools us: we think we can go to a party, or we think we can go to a celebration of some kind, as if we are saying "I think I can, I think I can…" But many times we haven't been able to pull it off. And so, we just have to face our "new reality" that our internal train wreck is still in shambles… So now we are back to  saying, "I thought I could, I thought I could…!"

Images, thanks to Amazon.com and Google Images

Wednesday's Woe - Who am i?

Wednesday's Woe

Who am i?

Who am i and what will i be

what i was no longer is

who i will be no one knows

But God's in His Heaven, and He holds me.

On that day, life came to a standstill

on that day, the whole world stopped

on that day, my life froze in time

But you're in God's Heaven, peace be still.

3 1/2 years seem like a day

3 1/2 years fly by like a night

3 1/2 years without you here...

But when you speak, time goes away.

What am i to do with my life

Life goes on with or without me

when you left, my life slipped away...

But God lives in me, and He IS my Life.

On that day, life came to a standstill

on that day, the whole world stopped

on that day, my life froze in time

But you're in God's Heaven, "Peace! Be still."

I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. John 14:6

A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him,

"Teacher, don't You care if we drown?"

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves,

"Peace! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to His disciples,

"Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" Mark 4:37-40

Faith is the evidence of things not seen, the substance of things hoped for. Hebrews 11:1

Since God got my baby to Heaven, He can surely take care of me...

God restored Life to my baby, raised her from the dead;

He'll surely restore Life to me, though my heart feel pulverized, dead.

I will celebrate life today, for my baby's no longer dead!

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies..." John 11:25

"Because I live, you also will live..." ~Jesus, John 14:19

"He is not far from each one of us. For in Him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:27b-28a ~Paul, about God

Picture: http://wwww.pics.am/

Poem - Who am i? - Angie Bennett Prince - 4/13/10

Wednesday's Woe - Grief Changes You

Wednesday's Woe

Grief Changes You

My heart is torn; it’s ripped into—

I have a duty to warn: Who am I? I don’t know who!

Ripped by love’s thorn, there’s nothing I can do.

Since my baby was born, I had a job to do;

From that job shorn, there’s no more I can do

But be forlorn for my baby girl who

I miss and mourn and my helplessness rue.

I’m weak and worn; mourning’s all I can do,

So be forewarned: this is a mother’s coup—

My heart is torn; leaning on God for healing is my sole purview.

I have a duty to warn: I’m different now and becoming someone new;

Truth unadorned: Grief changes you.

Poem - Grief Changes You - Angie Bennett Prince - 9/16/08

Friday's Faith - Falling Apart to Face...the Unknown

Friday's Faith

Falling Apart to Face...the Unknown

All changed; changed utterly.

A terrible beauty is born.

~Yeats

Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible.

~Corrie ten Boom

Falling Apart to Face...the Unknown

All changed; changed utterly.

A terrible beauty is born.

~Yeats

Mystery ahead; fear of the unknown.

Nothing is the same; Death's duty is done:

All changed in my world since my baby's gone.

From all appearance, Death and Satan's won...

Your death ended the only life I've known...

Grief

splits

me

apart

to

face...

the

unknown.

My life's not over, in ways, just begun—

It's hard t' hear God's voice above Mommy's moan.

Created from naught...God's work's often done.

Though dysfunctional, I'm not left alone:

God in His Heaven sheds light through His Son...

I'm held together...by the 3-in-One.

******

(Jesus) is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

~Colossians 1:17 NIV

“He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say,

The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified].”

~Hebrews 13:5-6 AMP

Holy Bible - Versions: NIV = New International Version; AMP = Amplified

Pictures thanks to Photobucket.com and ClipArtOf.com

Poem - Falling Apart To Face...the Unknown - Angie Bennett Prince - 1/31/10

Tuesday's Trust - Patient Trust

Tuesday's Trust

Patient Trust

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.

We are quite naturally impatient in everything

to reach the end without delay.


We should like to skip the intermediate stages.

We are impatient of being on the way


to something unknown, 


something new.


Yet it is the law of all progress that is made


by passing through some stages of instability


and that may take a very long time.



And so I think it is with you.

Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow.

Let them shape themselves without undue haste.

Do not try to force them on 


as though you could be today what time


-- that is to say, grace --


and circumstances 


acting on your own good will 


will make you tomorrow.


Only God could say what this new Spirit


gradually forming in you will be.



Give our Lord the benefit of believing 


that his hand is leading you,


and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself


in suspense and incomplete.


Above all, trust in the slow work of God,


our loving vine-dresser. 


Amen.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (via Ian Cron) (via Flowerdust)

Poem - Patient Trust by Pierre Teihard de Chardin

Picture and Poem: Thanks to http://www.flowerdust.net/2009/10/16/accept-the-anxiety/

Poem: Thanks to http://www.worship.ca/docs/p_62_ptdc.html

Life in Grief Arena

Life in Grief Arena


My husband “can’t anticipate” me now;
Even I can’t anticipate me now!
I have more anger than I had before;
I have more agitation than before...

Almost 3 years, we both nose-dived this week;
In ways, I’m getting stronger…others, weak.
We’re loaded down with more than we can bear...

I can’t go out; my heart’s too raw and bare;
If I do, I see triggers everywhere:
It feels…I’ve stepped into the lion’s lair…



"I'm not who I was, don't know who I am,"


My husband said this week.... We’re in a jam:
How are we to fight this Grieving Battle,
For we’re up Grief's Creek without a paddle,
Even missing the kayak or canoe …!


What’s a grieving parent supposed to do?!


My husband wants to kill; I want to scream;
We’re substituting nightmares for each dream…
Last night, my husband was killing someone
With pitchforks; I was being spat upon
By someone I had thought was my good friend...
Night turns to day, but sleep did us upend.


We barely function; we mostly grieve...
Who'll enter Grief Arena and relieve?




Which would strip you more –

Grief? Or... Lions’ Den?

One leaves you dead –

th’ other . . . you wish you’d been.




Grieving’s the nightmare that will never end …
And both—without a Savior…would be the end!

Some say, "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life." ...Does that plan include excruciating pain and suffering? If so, that sure doesn't FEEL like "a wonderful plan" ...!

If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
Colossians 15:19 (The Holy Bible, New International Version)

picture: martyr+tract.jpg

Written 7/9/09 - Life in Grief Arena - Angie Bennett Prince
2 years, 11 months, and 7 days after the death of our 19-year-old daughter, Merry Katherine