Showing posts with label The Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS about Child-Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS about Child-Loss. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Thursday's Therapy - Unpackaging The Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS about Child-Loss Grief - Truth #10) Child-Loss Grief is MOSTLY about Trauma!







Thursday's Therapy


Unpackaging


The Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS


about Child-Loss Grief



Truth #10) Child-Loss Grief is MOSTLY about Trauma!






TRUTH #10) Child-Loss Grief is not JUST about Grief! Child-Loss Grief is MOSTLY about Trauma!




Looking ahead, after the coldness in the chest began to subside, I thought I'd be facing a time of intense sadness only. I had no idea how devastating it would be, what a devastating impact child-loss would have:


  • A depth of weeping (of which) I didn't know I was capable.
  • Struggling with hyperarousal and hypervigilance.
  • Getting triggered.
  • Shattering of my faith and assumptive beliefs.
  • Inability to be around crowds.
  • Struggles with sleeping and very disruptive sleep habits.
  • Alteration of my outlook on things (things I once enjoyed, I don't enjoy any more; things I once tolerated, I cannot tolerate any more).
  • Resurrection of old unresolved issues.
  • Fault-lines (weaknesses in the formation of one's character or personality) are exposed and exacerbated.
  • Recurrent bouts of helplessness, irritability, agitation, anger, despair, and extreme vulnerability.



There's always an underlying deep sadness, but I did not know all the other mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional turmoil was going to accompany the sadness. Obviously, all these things together make it difficult to even cope with, much less adapt to, this new life, as this trauma greatly complicates my mourning my precious child!











Pictures thanks to FotoSearch
Child-Loss Grief and Trauma research, Therese A. Rando, 2011

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Thursday's Therapy - Unpackaging The Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS of Child-Loss Grief - Truth #9) Child-Loss Grief Hits Bottom Between Years 2 to 4.5

Thursday's Therapy


Unpackaging


The Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS


of Child-Loss Grief



Truth #9) Child-Loss Grief Typically Hits Bottom Between Years 2 to 4.5






Truth #9) As bad as the first year may feel, Child-Loss Grief typically hits bottom between years 2 to 4.5 when Shock wears off and Reality sets in, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder takes on a life of its own.




In the early months, raw grief, missing her, agonizing over the tragedy that we couldn't break through to her, or she couldn't seem to hear us, questioning God is she okay now (Is she safely with You), the grief was raw, but for me there were some transcending graces that soothed me. Quick comforts would come that later would have to be processed through the grueling grief mill for more longterm resolution... comforts such as


  1. My baby was a believer of the Living God and His Son's saving grace for her, so I know she is safe in Heaven. No matter what happened to her here, she is with God, so she is okay now.

  2. If she had to die on that day, at least it was quick.

  3. We had gotten to hug her and tell her we loved her, just two nights before she was killed.


You would normally think grief would be the worst the first year, and in some ways it was. The degree of raw grief was much greater and for longer periods of time during the first year. However for us, the second and third years were harder in other ways. The finality sets in during year two that she is not coming back, and that creates a whole different set of emotions and trauma to the body.


The body cannot fully absorb the brunt of all the reality of the death the first year. As trauma specialists explain to us, early on in our grief, there will literally be internal chemicals such as opiates, adrenalin, and cortisol that help us to cope with the myriad of traumatic emotions. But these experts also explain to us, the receptors for such internal chemicals will at some time burn out, and then it is like we are physically and emotionally thrown into withdrawals. So a whole new set of problems are thrown into the already compromised systems of this grieving mother and father. And very often, this is the prime breeding ground for Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome now to further compound what the parents already considered was a humanly-unbearable load.




*****




Below is the scientific explanation for much of what I discussed above. It was on my blog previously, on 3/25/2010:


Your Brain and Stress



This article explains so much of what I see going on in my body amidst my traumatic and complicated grief! Let me know what you think in regard to what your own physiological responses to grief have been...


Those aggravating things that go wrong in the day and those irritating things that go bump in the night – disrupting routines and interrupting sleep – all have a cumulative effect on your brain, especially its ability to remember and learn.

As science gains greater insight into the consequences of stress on the brain, the picture that emerges is not a pretty one. A chronic overreaction to stress overloads the brain with powerful hormones that are intended only for short-term duty in emergency situations. Their cumulative effect damages and kills brain cells.


How Your Brain Responds to Stress

Did you know that the emotional and physical responses you have to stress are set in motion by a series of chemical releases and reactions? Find out what is really going on inside your body and why not all stress is bad.


"Attack of the Adrenals" – A Metabolic Story

The ambulance siren screams its warning to get out of the way. You can't move your car because you're stuck in a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam that reaches as far as the eye can see. There must be an accident up ahead. Meanwhile the road construction crew a few feet from your car is jack-hammering the pavement. You are about to enter the stress zone.

Inside your body the alert goes out.

"Attention all parasympathetic forces. Urgent. Adrenal gland missile silos mounted atop kidneys have just released chemical cortisol weapons of brain destruction. Mobilize all internal defenses. Launch immediate counter-calm hormones before hippocampus is hammered by cortisol."

Hormones rush to your adrenal glands to suppress the streaming cortisol on its way to your brain. Other hormones rush to your brain to round up all the remnants of cortisol missiles that made it to your hippocampus. These hormones escort the cortisol remnants back to Kidneyland for a one-way ride on the Bladderhorn. You have now reached metabolic equilibrium, also known as homeostasis.


Inside Homeostasis

When a danger finally passes or the perceived threat is over, your brain initiates a reverse course of action that releases a different bevy of biochemicals throughout your body.

Attempting to bring you back into balance, your brain seeks the holy grail of "homeostasis," that elusive state of metabolic equilibrium between the stimulating and the tranquilizing chemical forces in your body.

If either one of the stimulating or tranquilizing chemical forces dominates the other without relief, then you will experience an on-going state of internal imbalance. This condition is known as stress.

And it can have serious consequences for your brain cells.


Parasympathetic and Sympathetic Nervous System

The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) turns on the fight or flight response. In contrast, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) promotes the relaxation response.


Like two tug-of-war teams skillfully supporting their rope with a minimum of tensions, the SNS and PNS carefully maintain metabolic equilibrium by making adjustments whenever something disturbs this balance.


The strongmen on these teams are hormones, the chemical messengers produced by endocrine glands. Named after a Greek word meaning "to set in motion," hormones travel through the bloodstream to accelerate or suppress metabolic functions.


The trouble is that some stress hormones don't know when to quit pulling.


They remain active in the brain for too long - injuring and even killing cells in the hippocampus, the area of your brain needed for memory and learning.


Because of this hierarchical dominance of the SNS over the PNS, it often requires conscious effort to initiate your relaxation response and reestablish metabolic equilibrium.



The Emotional Brain – Limbic System


The primary area of the brain that deals with stress is its limbic system. Because of its enormous influence on emotions and memory, the limbic system is often referred to as the emotional brain....


Whenever you perceive a threat, imminent or imagined, your limbic system immediately responds via your autonomic nervous system - the complex network of endocrine glands that automatically regulates metabolism.


The term "stress" is short for distress, a word evolved from Latin that means "to draw or pull apart." The Romans even used the term districtia to describe "a being torn asunder." When stressed-out, most of us can probably relate to this description.




Distress Signals from Your Brain


Your sympathetic nervous system does an excellent job of rapidly preparing you to deal with what is perceived as a threat to your safety. Its hormones initiate several metabolic processes that best allow you to cope with sudden danger.


Your adrenal glands release adrenaline (also known as epinephrine) and other hormones that increase breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure. This moves more oxygen-rich blood faster to the brain and to the muscles needed for fighting or fleeing. And, you have plenty of energy to do either, because adrenaline causes a rapid release of glucose and fatty acids into your bloodstream. Also, your senses become keener, your memory sharper, and you are less sensitive to pain.


Other hormones shut down functions unnecessary during the emergency. Growth, reproduction, and the immune system all go on hold. Blood flow to the skin is reduced. That's why chronic stress leads to sexual dysfunction, increases your chances of getting sick, and often manifests as skin ailments. With your mind and body in this temporary state of metabolic overdrive, you are now prepared to respond to a life-threatening situation.



Getting Back to Normal


After a perceived danger has passed, your body then tries to return to normal. But this may not be so easy, and becomes even more difficult with age.


Although the hyperactivating sympathetic nervous system jumps into action immediately, it is very slow to shut down and allow the tranquilizing parasympathetic nervous system to calm things down.


Once your stress response has been activated, the system wisely keeps you in a state of readiness.



Stress is Not All Bad


Bear in mind that an appropriate stress response is a healthy and necessary part of life. One of the things it does is to release norepinephrine, one of the principal excitatory neurotransmitters. Norepinephrine is needed to create new memories. It improves mood. Problems feel more like challenges, which encourages creative thinking that stimulates your brain to grow new connections within itself.


Stress management is the key, not stress elimination. The challenge in this day and age is to not let the sympathetic nervous system stay chronically aroused. This may require knowledge of techniques that work to activate your relaxation response.










Statistics for Child-Loss Grief bottoming out, from Kay Talbot's book, What Forever Means After the Death of a Child: Transcending the Trauma, Living with the Loss

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Thursday's Therapy - Unpackaging The Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS about Child-Loss Grief - Truth #8) In Child-Loss Grief, there is no such thing as Closure





Thursday's Therapy


Unpackaging


The Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS


about Child-Loss Grief



Truth #8) In Child-Loss Grief, there is no such thing as Closure





Truth #8) Child-Loss Grief will last forever, this side of Heaven. There is no such thing as Closure.




When a child dies, the very ground on which we depend for stability heaves and quakes and the rightness and orderliness of our existence are destroyed. Nothing in life prepares us; no coping skills were learned. Parents who lose children are thrown into chaos. The loss of a child is shattering, unique among losses.



...Our attitudes toward life change dramatically following a trauma. We don't get over a trauma; we adapt our way of thinking and feeling as a consequence...



Along with "overcome," the word "recovery" is often seen in association with grief...



(G)rief, or any major trauma for that matter, is never overcome nor does recovery take place. The course of healing involves integrating that trauma, not overcoming it.



There is a significant difference. To overcome suggests that you get past or get over the trauma and go on from where you left off. But that is not what happens. No one goes on from any major event in their lives without having that event change them psychologically in some way.



The process of integration involves changes in the person's view of the world, in the way they relate to others, in their values, in spiritual feelings, and so forth. It's the difference between stepping over an obstacle and being rerouted by it.



...But if we think recovery means return to normal, can we use the word to apply to conditions like drug addiction, like having been raped or abused, like losing your child? In order to lead a productive, drug-free life after a period of drug abuse, the last thing in the world the individual needs is to return to what was his version of normal. He needs a whole new way of looking at himself, of dealing with frustration, of relating to people, he needs new values, new attitudes. He should not be said to recover, but to undergo a metamorphosis, perhaps like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. That person needs to change, to find a way of sculpting the former life into a new lifestyle.



We cannot be said to recover, in the sense of returning to a former self, from any major trauma. Trauma as shattering and cataclysmic as losing a child, as rape or abuse, as addiction, as natural disaster, and so forth, leaves indelible imprints on our lives. We are not the same having traveled that road as we would have been had we been spared that journey.



Events of bone-crunching intensity inevitably leave us different. The emotional journey people take to regain equilibrium, to be able once again to feel good and value life, to reform themselves so that their loss is somehow integrated into the fiber of their existence--that is the process of mourning.



But if they are expected to recover by friends, family, experts, and ultimately by themselves, and they cannot do so, they wind up with additional self-doubt or worse.




(Recovery) is a misnomer and creates a fictitious mind-set: that major loss is ultimately wrapped in a neat package and segregated from the rest of the experience until it goes away. This, we know, does not happen without serious psychological consequences.


Major loss needs not to be overcome but rather to be put into context. People don't recover; they adapt. They alter their values, attitudes, perceptions, relationships, and beliefs, with the result that they are substantially different from the people they once were.


Mourning, integration, adaptation. These are learning processes...


The bereaved parent has to come to terms with a world in which it is possible for children to die, a world of different hopes and dreams, a world of muted sunsets.




The victim never sees life through the same lens again.


If you look at it that way,


it becomes foolish to ask when victims of trauma should be over it.




If we are to help and understand trauma victims, should we not ask instead where they are in the process of learning to live with what has happened? Where is that process in five, ten, thirty years?




~quotes from the first several pages of When the Bough Breaks -- Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter (1997) ~Judith R. Bernstein, Ph.D.




*****




Dr. Bernstein also quotes Dr. Catherine M. Sanders:


Catherine M. Sanders, a noted researcher and author in the field of bereavement, wrote in her book Grief: The Mourning After,


"Our culture has not been educated to acknowledge the length of time necessary to overcome a major loss. This lag of information adds to the burden on the bereaved because they themselves feel that they should have been 'back to normal' long before this."


As time goes by, social supports diminish because


"family and friends expect the bereaved to be over the grief in six months to a year rather than the... years that is generally required,"



Sanders continues. Even researchers who are working in the arena of bereavement put time limits such as three or four years for grief to be overcome.




*****



Tommy and I were in a Child-Loss / Bereaved Parents' Seminar led for professionals in the counseling field in working with child-loss, led by a premier expert in the field, Dr. Therese A. Rando.


Rando said wherever she goes to be interviewed, the interviewer always asks,


"How long does it take to get through child-loss?"


and Rando refuses to give them a direct answer. She tries to explain the lengthy process through which a bereaved parent must go, but she said the interviewer always follows up with the dismissive question,


"Yeah, but how long does it take to get over it?"
...and then they start tossing out numbers like it is now a guessing game, and she just needs to give the "answer"...



Wisely, Rando knows, there is no answer, for in Child-Loss Grief,



There is no such thing as Closure.







Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Thursday's Therapy - Unpackaging the Princes' Top 10 TRUTHS about Child-Loss Grief - Truth #7c) Child-Loss Grief is pervasive throughout...our Mind






Thursday's Therapy



Unpackaging the Princes' Top 10


TRUTHS about Child-Loss Grief


Truth #7c) Child-Loss Grief is pervasive throughout...our Mind.





#7) Child-Loss Grief is pervasive and invasive throughout your system. It is multi-dimensional, affecting your body, soul, mind, heart, and spirit.


Child-Loss Grief is pervasive throughout...your Mind.




On this Thursday's Therapy, we examine how Child-Loss Grief often affects our minds:



The trauma of losing your child goes beyond the emotions of grief and into Trauma, and this trauma affects your brain. You have sustained a form of brain damage when you lose your child. Neuronal connections aren't being made like they once were.


When people say, "You just need to move on," they do not realize what they are demanding. We lost our child; we came face-to-face with the death of a child we loved more than life itself. We became traumatized and damaged by that death (and by the unsuccessful attempts at defense, or the inability to prevent that fatal blow to our precious child)!


We cannot just "will" our grief and trauma out of the way. We cannot simply "choose" to move on. God didn't design our systems to be so callous as people (civilians anyway) want us to be. It just doesn't work that way.




"Some things are so traumatic, they don't make sense to the human brain. Rationalizing the trauma will not heal an autonomic nervous system disorder. The autonomic nervous system does not listen to reason or logic...


"Traumatized people are not suffering from a disease in the normal sense of the word. They have become fixated in an aroused state. It is difficult (if not impossible) to function normally under these circumstances..."



~Bessel A. van der Kolk, M.D.



As Hoge says,


"Memories of life-threatening events are not stored in the same parts of the brain as other memories or thoughts. They are stored in deeper areas of the brain called 'the limbic system'...


"The limbic alarm system 'hijacks' the conscious rational areas in order to insure that the person's entire attention and focus is directed toward survival. The ability to be self-reflective or consider things in a rational sequence diminishes."


~Charles Hoge






van der Kolk goes on to assure us,



"It's also normal to think about, and to remember bad things that happen to us. This alone is not the cause or the source of PTSD. Thinking about a trauma doesn't cause PTSD. If that were the case, every American, every human being on earth for that matter, would be suffering from PTSD. People with PTSD tend to feel weird, defective, or crazy because they can't stop thinking about (and/or) reliving the trauma. Traumatic things happen so fast, they don't have enough time to be encoded into narrative memory, so they present themselves as symptoms of a disease (PTSD)...


"The symptoms of PTSD are actually very sensible, and orderly ~ even though they can also make your life feel as if it's out of order. The symptoms of PTSD serve a sensible and orderly purpose in the healing process. It's important for trauma survivors to listen to those symptoms and to do the footwork to discover what they are trying to tell them. Re-experiencing the trauma for example, is the most uncomfortable symptom of PTSD, it's also the symptom that gets the most people into treatment. Re-living, or re-experiencing is how we integrate the trauma into our lives. By creating a narrative memory of the trauma, the raw emotions that are attached to the memory usually fade."

~Bessel A. van der Kolk, M.D.






Doctors Bessel A. van der Kolk, James Briere, Therese A. Rando, Charles Hoge, and other premier experts in the Trauma field attest to the damage done to the brain in Trauma. Child-Loss Grief IS Trauma. Many of us are traumatized right away in that our brains are not able to remember the simple tasks of daily life. Everything we once did without thinking, we now have to concentrate and give ourselves twice as long to do those tasks. Many of us go on to exhibit symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).




"PTSD can result in physical, cognitive, psychological, emotional, and behavioral reactions that all have a physiological basis... If we take each component of the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistics Manual) definition of PTSD and break it down... every "symptom" of PTSD stems from things your body normally does in response to severe danger or stress. PTSD symptoms can be manifestations of normal stress reactions to threatening situations, as well as a disorder that requires treatment. That's the paradox of it."


~Charles Hoge, M.D.





{When the experts declare that PTSD victims avoid reminders of their trauma, those of us actually going through this trauma may have a different take on this part of the PTSD description.


Tommy and I have never had a problem with being reminded of our trauma. To NOT be reminded of our trauma would be tantamount to NOT being allowed to think about our precious daughter, and THAT is never acceptable to us. "Reminders of the trauma" is not what we are running from. We are aware that our brains are traumatized. We are aware that our brains need safety from any kinds of toxicity so that we can have the room to do the appropriate processing of all the trauma that has hit us and thrown us to the floor. We are not running from that trauma.


What we run from is any other unnecessary toxicity added to the traumatic loss so that we can help our poor traumatized brains process this very painful information and thus integrate this traumatic material (that we never wanted to happen) into our lives, into who we are now. The ability to integrate this trauma in with who we are now is the most we can do to facilitate any kind of healing process for our poor war-torn hearts, minds, bodies, and souls.}





"Of all the different treatments for PTSD that have been tested, the most consistently effective involve Narrating the Story of the Traumatic Event in some way so that the story becomes part of who you are...


"After telling the same story in sufficient detail, the memories of the traumatic events gradually become more organized, and with more emotion and connection and with more acceptance and less distress in the form of guilt, self-blame, anxiety, or physical symptoms...


"Fundamentally, most effective therapies for PTSD involve telling the story of the traumatic events in one way or another so that they become more tolerable and bearable."


~Charles Hoge, M.D.


(highlights, mine)









Picture thanks to Grieving Mothers, Facebook

Charles Hoge, M.D., Once a Warrior--Always a Warrior

Bessel A. van der Kolk, Traumatic Stress, and research articles received at his composium in February, 2010 and also found on the internet.