Two weeks before August 2, 2006 (the day that was to change my life forever), God spoke to my heart. I was praying diligently for my 19-year-old-daughter, so precocious and determined—much like me—but she was using these traits to barrel down a self-destructive course…
God entreated,
“Do you know I love Merry Katherine?”
"Yes!"
“Can you trust Me with her?"
Hesitantly I said, "Y-e-e-e-s..."
“Will you give her to Me?”
First I held "her" to my heart with clenched fists, then I thought,
“I know He loves her; He loves her even more than I do! I must get out of the way so He can bring her to Himself… It may get very ugly before it gets better…”
“Since I have a tendency to 'throw pillows down' to keep her from getting hurt, I know I must give her to Him—‘let go, and let God,’ literally—so He can do His work in her…”
Painfully, I lifted “her” up to Him.
Two weeks later when my child came to visit, God whispered to me,
“Speak to her soul.”
Lovingly, with His guidance, I did so.
Two days later, my child was killed...
Since then, God has come into death’s devastation, touching the "thin places" of my heart, my soul, my spirit, even revealing that on the last time I was with her, He used our time together to woo her back to Him...
And her heart responded to Him!
Like I had prayed,
He did "bring her to Himself" both before she was killed,
and after...
"Thin places are those times where the division between this world and the eternal fades; they are snatches of holy ground, tucked into the corners of our world, where we might just catch a glimpse of eternity. ... These would be aha moments, beautiful realizations when the Son of God bursts through the hazy fog of our monotony and shines on us afresh, times when God has reminded or reassured you that he is real and present."
4 comments:
Oh, Angie. Your mother-grief...such a thin place. My mother-heart cries with yours. Thank you for sharing your story to help others heal. You are a very precious lady.
Angie, it is a blessing to find your website via the Thin Places blog tour. I hate that you have tasted the terrible grief of saying goodbye to Merry Katherine. Praising God for the assurance that He has brought her to Himself and for allowing you to be part of that process. {hug}
Wow. Great post. Thanks for sharing your story.
Oh how my heart bleeds for you. Still in the very early stages of grief. I know that loss, that ache and pain that goes beyond human understanding. I lost my daughter Karen, also in a motor car accident on 26 November 1993.She was only 17. Does it get better? Yes! Does it ever go away? No! I still miss her every day, but know she is at home, at peace with our Father. I would love to share my dream with you on email one day ... when the Lord gave me the priveledge to see her again!
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