Friday's Faith - In the Process of Forgiving...

Friday's Faith

In the Process of Forgiving...

Remembering back to a couple of posts about my frustrations with some of the people in Merry Katherine's life, I know that I promised you a follow up. I wanted to let you know where I am in that forgiveness process...

But first, here are the excerpts in which I first talked about my dilemma about the people in her life who I felt might have been an influence for the good -- if they hadn't been so full of themselves... (I frustratingly called them the "'so-called' Christians who thought they had no problems.")

From

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23, 2010

Wednesday's Woe - Weighted Down By the If-Only's...

(Excerpt)

...Make her change her friends?

At the time, I could understand her choice of friends - they certainly didn't seem to be out-and-out criminals: They were risk-takers like her; they were physically-active, vivacious, fun people!

The people I had thought were "nice" people turned out to be stuck-up twits, in love with their own self-righteousness. She could smell that pretension miles away (and if that's who they really were, I'm glad for her discernment). And now, after her dabbling into m.a.r.i.j.u.a.n.a? They would certainly think they were "better" than her...

I can just hear a little self-righteous, pompous twit, with a hidden sin like say, an addictive eating disorder (i.e., NONE of us is perfect!), justifying herself to herself:

Marijuana?! Why, that's unacceptable! But my hidden eating disorder... No one knows, so it doesn't count. I can still hang with the self-righteous. I might even have a chance of being a LEADER of the self-righteous since I don't have a shadow-side to speak of...

...justifies the addicted, eating-disordered Pharisee to herself...

If that's who they really were...unloving Pharisees (Or was this the rationalization of a child already headed toward addictive, "stinking" thinking?),

I wouldn't have wanted to be friends with them either...

So really, we couldn't win...

Real kids with real problems OR "so-called" Christians who thought they had no problems (i.e., Pharisees who'd say,"Lord, thank you that I am not like that despicable sinner over there...") —

Even Jesus was disgusted with the latter and sought out the former.

He made it clear that living by the "letter of the law" within our own power is deadly. Legalism kills... (It certainly does, spiritually-speaking, which, in my opinion, is THE most important aspect of our lives, more important to our Savior than earthly life itself...)

And yet, it was a No-Win situation.

She was repulsed by the

unloving-folks-who-"called"-themselves-Christians, but-who-detested-the-very-people-she-cared-about, her "Jesus-on-the-street."

And yet, her choice to hang out with this other kind of friend was what ultimately...killed her...

From

FRIDAY, JULY 9, 2010

Friday's Faith - "Princess of Quite-A-Lot" Prays...

(Excerpt)

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

(even those little "twit" Pharisees that I wrote about on a recent Wednesday's Woe? I'll write more on that later...)

*****

Okay, here is the "later"...

In the Process of Forgiving...

If you were to ask me,

Of the people who were in Merry Katherine's life during her teenage years,

With whom are you more angry...

The Drugged One who stole her life...

Or the Unloving Evangelical Pharisees who tormented her soul?

I'm afraid to say...but right now...

I am more angry with...

The Unloving Evangelical Pharisees,

for if they had any glance of God,

THEY should have known better!

Instead, they were so full of themselves,

there was no room for God to shine through...

Aaagh! And if she needed to find friends,

they sure wouldn't be the ones she would pick...

So right now...in my mind...

the Self-Righteous, Unloving Evangelical Pharisees

They are the biggest twits out there.

And I am furious. furious. furious.

And yet God, You revealed Yourself

to her anyway. (I cry with gratitude as I write this!)

And she knew You.

She loved You. You embraced her.

So why can't I let it go?

Help me to forgive. And then,

Will I ever forget?

But then, even our Lord was f.u.r.i.o.u.s.

at the moneychangers in His Father's

temple who were selling their own

wares for their own gain instead

of lifting eyes up to the

Living Lord, the Only God who could save His people...

Even HE was angry

And for good reason...

I will pray for the Pharisees:

Lord, please save them from themselves,

and stop them from their selfish pride.

Show them Yourself, and surely they will

throw their selfish pride down at the foot of Your cross,

and fall to their knees,

and beg You for forgiveness...

Forgive us all Lord.

No matter the form of our sin,

"We ALL like sheep have gone astray,

each of us has turned to his own way,

and the Lord has laid on Him

the i.n.i.q.u.i.t.y if us all." ~Isaiah 53:6

He forgave...even a sinner like me.

The least I can do is forgive those

who sin against me...

and against my baby...

who would remind me

She was a sinner too, in need of Your grace,

And You showered it so freely on her.

Thank You God for Your love.

May You pour Your love through me.

Thank You that You shower

Your love, Your grace, Your forgiveness

on me even now.

Although as a group, the Pharisees repulse me,

when I think of the precious individuals

who are so blinded by their own magnificence,

I can pray, "Father, forgive them, for they

know not what they do."

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