Thursday's Therapy - 25 Major Behavioral Reactions After Your Child's Traumatic Death ~by Therese A. Rando, Part Five

Thursday's Therapy

25 Major Behavioral Reactions After

Your Child's Traumatic Death

~by Therese A. Rando, Part Five

As we discussed before, grief affects us on so many levels. I always knew Child-Loss would be tantamount to one's life being "over," but I had no idea how "over" it could be! At least in terms of how debilitating Child-Loss Grief can be, on so many levels, and so many dimensions of each level, I had no idea!

Three weeks ago, we talked about the psychological impact of the Child-Loss grief in which we find ourselves. Last week, we talked about its cognitive impact. This week, we will address our child's death's Behavioral impact on us child-loss grievers.

25 Major Reactions Behaviorally After Your Child's Traumatic Death:

1. Searching behavior to recover your lost child
2. Restlessness, hyperactivity, inability to rest or be calm, agitation, easily startled, "jumpy," foot/leg shaking, teeth grinding, finger drumming, being "on guard" with a heightened awareness of your surroundings
3. Hypervigilance
4. Social withdrawal or isolation
5. Disorganized activity, absent-minded behavior, erratic behavior
6. Hypomanic behavior
7. Searching for something to do
8. Increased intake of medicine and/or psychoactive substances (such as drugs, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, inhalants)
9. Loss of or changes in usual patterns of activity
10. Distractibility
11. I forgot what I was going to say...oh yeah, Crying and tearfulness
12. Anorexia or appetite disturbance leading to weight loss or gain
13. Sleep disturbance (too little, too much, interrupted)
14. Nightmares
15. Diminished self care
16. Tendency to sigh
17. Decreased effectiveness and productivity in Personal, Social, or Work situations
18. Avoidance of or clinging to people, places, situations, activities, stimuli, or things that remind you of the loved one, the death, events associated with it, and/or other painful reactions to the loss
19. Self-destructive behaviors (for example, accident-prone behavior or high-risk behavior such as fast driving, gambling, indiscriminate sexual activity)
20. Acting out, impulsive, addictive, immoderate, or compulsive behaviors (associated with such things as substance use, gambling, sexual activity, working, eating, shopping/spending money, exercising, procrastinating, internet use, risk-taking)
21. Increase or decrease in sexual activity
22. Change in lifestyle
23. Hiding grief for fear of driving others away
24. Dependency, clinging behavior, avoidance of being alone
25. And we would add: Regression to any old bad habits one once had. Though regression is likely to happen, one may need to aggressively attend to the problems to be sure they do not take hold. Just be aware your body is under more stress than usual, and it is easy to fall back into bad patterns.

~Rando, 2011 (In Press)

Image thanks to @Lilly Ann

Content from July 9 and 10 Lectures by Therese A. Rando in Chattanooga, Tennessee, Also to be published in 2011