Though You've Been Gone Three Years

My heart is heavy, but I don’t know why . . .

Over a thousand days since you said g’bye.

Crepe myrtle’s blooming like it did that day

We spent time together…(then) you went away. . .

Th’ crepe myrtle’s bloom returns, but you do not . . .

God has you in Heaven, but I have naught—

“Life goes on,” or so they say . . . mine has not;

It’s on hold (for you), only baby girl I’ve got . . .

The days go by, then they just pass away—

Is my life on hold for that Glorious Day

When I’ll see you and My Lord face-to-face?

Until that day, am I marching-in-place?

What can God do with His child so broken?

Other lives produce; I’m just a token. . .

Seems all I’m able to do ev’ryday

Is grieve and love others who are th’ same way.

Yet the Lord reminds me in His Good Book . . .

He doesn’’t look at me th’ way others look—

His pow’r is made perfect in folks like me . . .

He’ll use my tears to fill Grief’s Salty Sea,

So, to sail His comfort in to stay with me. . .

He’ll turn my broken heart into His spout

To refresh us grievers, (He’ll) pour His love out.

He’ll use my empty life to shine His Light through

T’ breathe Light into Death’s darkness th’ whole Night through.

So baby girl, though you’ve been gone three years,

Our God is not surprised by your mommy’s tears.

He’s gotten me this far; He’ll get me through—

As you rest in His arms, I’ll rest in them, too!

Crepe myrtle photo thanks to www.Flickr.com

Red sunrise with cross rising out of water - http://www.canstockphoto.com/cross-rising-0570015.php

http://www.canstockphoto.com/love-background-with-heart-0490888.php

http://www.canstockphoto.com/hearts-background-0106756.php

http://www.canstockphoto.com/abstract-concept-hands-reaching-0186287.php

http://media.photobucket.com/image/jesus%20and%20a%20lamb/rhon33999/Jesus_Lamb.jpg?o=3

Written 7/26/09 - Though You've Been Gone Three Years - Angie Bennett Prince

In Loving Memory of Merry Katherine Prince 3/29/87 - 8/2/06

Fragile Flower

Fragile Flower

I looked at the mandevilla tonight,

And I saw three dainty pink blossoms there;

Although a marvelous thrill to my sight,

Beauteous blossoms proved more than I could bear...

The beauty of God pierced through to my soul;

The Creator God in all His finesse,

Created with care . . . but sin takes its toll . . .

My tears would soon water the flow’rs pink dress.

“My world was perfect, Miss Mandevilla,

Tied in a bow like your pretty blossom;

Now my world weeps like the weeping willow

Midst God’s world, still filled with beauty awesome.”

Each time I looked at each dainty pink flow’r

Radiating beauty, its only duty,

The tears again would quickly overpow’r,

Flooding mem’ries of my sweet baby’s beauty . . .

Lord, You’re so present in Your creation;

Each flower petal bears Your fingerprint!

Yet Satan’s presence in the equation

Will destroy it all . . . in devastation . . . ?!

Once I was strong, but now I’m rendered weak,

So strong: husband and children all ‘round me,

All full of Your love, Your will we did seek—

. . . Now plundered, ravaged by the Enemy.

When I see th’ beauteous mandevilla, Lord,

I catch a glimpse of Heaven filled with You:

No sin, no decay, no devastation . . .

Just You—worshipped by saints—their reward:

To live daily within Your Heavenly view,

In robes washed white, restored to perfection.

But I—I’m still here Lord—dealing with death,

Grieving through each day, though I take life’s breath,

With glimpses of You, but living in hell . . .

How to live in vic’try? Would someone pray tell?

Meanwhile, You say, “My grace is sufficient,

For My pow’r is made perfect in weakness;

Ev’rywhere Satan makes you deficient,

Enables Me to shine . . . through your meekness . . .”

O Creator God, You’ll overpower

Satan’s destruction of each fragile flower . . .

You've already restored my baby girl!

. . . Grant me grace to live in this broken world. . .

Lord, may I be like each dainty pink flow’r,

Radiating (Your) Beauty, my only duty,

And when my tears quickly overpow’r,

Flood my memory with Your awesome beauty. . .

http://infogizmo.com/downhome/flowers1.html

Written 7/22/09 – Fragile Flower – Angie Bennett Prince

From gate to Gate

From gate to Gate




Of Mommy and Child, oh the times divine,
Short though they were, they were God’s sweet lifeline,
Held tightly at times with this heart of mine,
To cherish each moment, sweet times benign . . .



When you left, I had to plant my garden lush,
With flowers that would stand in a straight line—
Otherwise, my worried mind would not hush . . .
The flowers . . . would obey . . . their bound’ry line.




The days drug on that you were not yet home;
51 days on the streets you would roam,
And then you called—you wanted to come home;
I rushed to get you, praying for shalom . . .



Before you left that day, we’d asked you t’ stay—
I took what was t’ be my last look at you;
We hugged so tight, and yet … you pulled away;
You were nineteen; what else could Mommy do …?




You ran down the steps and out of our gate,

And I

won’t get to see you

till




Heav’n’s Gate . . .

Painting: The Garden at Pontoise by Camille Pissarro, 1877

Poetry prompts line, look, lush from
http://simplysnickers.blogspot.com/2009/07/poetry-prompt-through-sunday-july-12.html


Written 7/5/09 – From gate to Gate – Angie Bennett Prince

Life in Grief Arena

Life in Grief Arena


My husband “can’t anticipate” me now;
Even I can’t anticipate me now!
I have more anger than I had before;
I have more agitation than before...

Almost 3 years, we both nose-dived this week;
In ways, I’m getting stronger…others, weak.
We’re loaded down with more than we can bear...

I can’t go out; my heart’s too raw and bare;
If I do, I see triggers everywhere:
It feels…I’ve stepped into the lion’s lair…



"I'm not who I was, don't know who I am,"


My husband said this week.... We’re in a jam:
How are we to fight this Grieving Battle,
For we’re up Grief's Creek without a paddle,
Even missing the kayak or canoe …!


What’s a grieving parent supposed to do?!


My husband wants to kill; I want to scream;
We’re substituting nightmares for each dream…
Last night, my husband was killing someone
With pitchforks; I was being spat upon
By someone I had thought was my good friend...
Night turns to day, but sleep did us upend.


We barely function; we mostly grieve...
Who'll enter Grief Arena and relieve?




Which would strip you more –

Grief? Or... Lions’ Den?

One leaves you dead –

th’ other . . . you wish you’d been.




Grieving’s the nightmare that will never end …
And both—without a Savior…would be the end!

Some say, "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life." ...Does that plan include excruciating pain and suffering? If so, that sure doesn't FEEL like "a wonderful plan" ...!

If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
Colossians 15:19 (The Holy Bible, New International Version)

picture: martyr+tract.jpg

Written 7/9/09 - Life in Grief Arena - Angie Bennett Prince
2 years, 11 months, and 7 days after the death of our 19-year-old daughter, Merry Katherine

Suffering

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.

Suffering

It feels impossible to function with a broken heart. How do we endure suffering?

What does it mean to be a disciple of Christ?

Why does God allow suffering this side of Heaven?

What does it mean to be blessed by God?

Does being a Christian mean there's a "hedge-of-protection" around you?

Contrary to our Western views of life-in-Christ which at times could be characterized as a "prosperity gospel" which includes our mistaken notion of what it means to be "blessed," the scripture is very clear about Suffering being a natural by-product of being a disciple of Christ in this fallen world.

See the following scriptures throughout the New Testament regarding the suffering that will be a part of life-in-Christ on this earth:

Matthew 5:1-12; 10:22, 37-39; 16:21-25; 19:21, 29-30; 20:26-28; 23:11-12

Mark 8:33-38; 9:35; 10:21, 29-31

Luke 6:20-26; 9:23-25, 48; 14:33

John 8:31-36; 12:23-28; 15:18-20

Acts 9:16

Romans 5:3-6; 8:16-36; 12:14

1 Corinthians 4:9-13

2 Corinthians 1:3-9; 4:7-11, 16-18; 6:4-10; 12:7-10

Philippians 2:1-11; 3:7-11

Colossians 1:29-2:3

1 Thessalonians 3:2-4

2 Thessalonians 1:4-7

2 Timothy 1:9-12; 2:1-10, 3:10-12, 4:5-8, 16-18

Hebrews 2:9-10; 10:32-39; 11:25-27; 12:5-7, 10-13; 13:3, 12-14

James 1:2-7, 9, 12

1 Peter 1:10, 13; 2:20-24; 3:13-17; 4:1-2, 12-19; 5:6-11

GOD OFFERS HIS COMFORT

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. . . .

And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. We do not want you to be uninformed ... about the hardships we suffered .... We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.

But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

2 Corinthians 1:5, 7-9, 3-4 (NIV, highlights mine)

So, When Will the Suffering End?

Until God ushers in His new heavens and new earth, there will be suffering in this fallen world from sin, evil, sickness, and death in this world. God does not leave us alone to deal with this suffering all by ourselves. He knows we cannot deal with it all by ourselves - not in any healthy way, so He comes along beside us. HE MEETS US IN OUR PAIN.

But when Jesus returns, according to Jesus in Revelation, death and Hades will be thrown into the lake of fire. When God then lives with us, He will wipe away every tear from our eyes.

There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for AT THAT TIME, the old order of things (that we are living now) will be passed away.

We suffer now, but thanks be to God, for those of us who accept His offer of love through His Son Jesus Christ, our suffering will end.

Meanwhile, now - while we grapple with suffering now, God will meet us in the depths of our pain if we allow Him in, and He will comfort us in all of our suffering.

(See Revelation 1:17-18; 20:14; 21:3-4 New International Version (NIV), The Holy Bible)

On the Light Side . . .

On the Light Side . . .

Watch Tennessee Ernie Ford with his precious son by his side getting into the groove . . . ! (Click link below)

http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Videos/childrengo-tennernieford.html

http://www.last.fm/music/Tennessee+Ernie+Ford/+images

Happy Independence Day!

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