Friday's Faith - In Traumas, He Makes Me to Lie Down…

Friday's Faith

In Traumas, He Makes Me to Lie Down…

Tommy and I have been plagued with nightmares this week. Mine started last Friday night and Saturday morning just before Father's Day, so I was in a "real good" place to be supportive of Tommy on the always-difficult holiday, as you might imagine. The first nightmare put me particularly under and its haunting nature still remains with me, and the second nightmare just picked up where the first one left off. As they always say, "When it rains, it pours…." So then, we proceeded from there to have a particularly difficult weekend...

Ever since, sleep has not come easy for me. And during the day, coping hasn't been going so well either. The questions raised in my nightmares about Merry Katherine's situation before she was killed were opened up again, and some of them haunted me. I found that I was so traumatized that I became greatly agitated, so that any other thing, little or big, greatly got under my skin and made me miserable. What is it? Does Trauma breed Trauma? It was like I went from one difficult thing to another, and then was accosted by events that really hurt me by the very people who I otherwise had thought were extremely "safe" in my life. It was a horrible time, and I couldn't seem to shake the hurts, nor my baby's situation plaguing me...

Tommy was very sweet and tried to reach out to me as best he could. And he was very helpful. Sometimes I get so incredibly tense that there is no way I could ever get back to sleep at night without one of his gentle back rubs, and several times, he would help me get back to sleep. But we were both struggling, and sometimes that backfires, and we even find ourselves struggling "against" one another. We're doing okay now, but it wasn't easy getting to this place.

After one particularly difficult night of sleep, and facing a day with some challenging situations ahead with some of my clients, I lay there in bed after Tommy had gotten up, and just cried out to my God to please help me. There were so many toxins I just couldn't seem to let go of, and I knew my mind needed to be clear, at least for the sake of my clients. God came to me and was so incredibly tender… 

It was like His Holy Spirit took over and took me on a gentle path of Spirit-guided imagery onto God's Living Waters...

I envisioned and imagined floating in the very clear, warm, and comforting waters of His River of Life, and as I floated along, with God by my side, I felt my tensions melting away. But then a memory of some of the weekend's miseries would infiltrate its way into my head all at once and would immediately throw me back into my turmoil.

  

Time after time these violations would ply their way into my mind and heart. 

At each of those times, God gently spoke to me and said, 

"Let it go; just let it float off of you." 

No sooner would He say that than I would see the incident almost as a rectangular weight lodging upon me that would begin to lose its weightiness, become light enough to float, and then simply slither off of me and float away, tormenting me no more. It continued until several of the torments were lifted from me in a similar way, as I let them go and watched them slither off of me and just float away. 

What  a soothing, comforting experience. It was literally a playing out of Psalm 23 that I often meditate to as I do my deep breathing to try to go to sleep, for He, my Shepherd, was "leading me beside the still waters," helping me to "lie down in green pastures," yet here, they were His living waters; He was even leading me down the path of righteousness as He led me one by one to lay my grievances down and let them go, so that time after time, 

He was effectually restoring my soul. 

It was God's transformative grace at work.

It was a beautiful meditation that He inspired and then entered into, bringing me healing manifestations that I could never have accomplished on my own. By the time I saw my clients, I was fine and was able to attend to their very pressing needs.

What a tender, empathic Savior we serve. His gentle grace overcame the raucous battle that I had allowed into my heart and soul, and He did it all so lovingly, no judgments against me, just gentleness. 

I even cried out in the middle of it regarding what my child may have gone through before she was killed, 

and He gently reminded me, 

"But it got her to where she needed to be," 

which I knew was true. 

Her heart indeed was made ready to see her God, and she had responded to Him just two days before she ultimately was to go and be with Him. The particular manifestations of our suffering don't really matter once we enter into the Savior's arms where He turns our mourning into joy, and so despite this angst, I settled down and knew she was okay ~ He was taking care of her just as He was taking care of me. And so even that pain and agony melted away and released from me. 

Our loving Savior enters into our pain, bringing His presence and His comfort, ever nurturing our broken hearts, both mine here on earth, and my precious child's, up in Heaven. Anything else on this earth pales in comparison!

Picture of Living Waters, thanks to
photobucket.com :
 photo 2013-08-15204057.jpg

Graphic 2, thanks to
Nativity Pageant of Knoxville

Thursday's Therapy - Trauma and the Hourglass of Time ~Dr. Robert Stolorow

Thursday's Therapy

Trauma and the Hourglass of Time

Dr. Robert D. Stolorow

Trauma and the Hourglass of Time

Dr. Robert D. Stolorow, Psychoanalyst

When my book, "Contexts of Being," was released in October of 1992, an initial batch of copies was sent "hot off the press" to the display table at a conference where I was a panelist. I picked up a copy and looked around excitedly for my late wife, Dede, who would be so pleased and happy to see it. She was, of course, nowhere to be found, having died 20 months earlier. I had awakened the morning of Feb. 23, 1991 to find her lying dead across our bed, four weeks after her metastatic cancer had been diagnosed. Spinning around to show her my newly published book and finding her gone instantly transported me back to that devastating moment in which I found her dead, and I was once again consumed with horror and sorrow. 

... I was once again consumed with horror and sorrow.

 
Throughout the 20 years since the morning when my world was shattered, I have relived that devastating moment again and again in all its terrible emotional intensity. 

If you, or someone you care about, ever experience a traumatic loss, never think or utter the words, "You have to let it go and move on."

Time does not heal the wounds of trauma. 

Let me explain.

I use the term "portkey," which I borrowed from Harry Potter, to capture the profound impact of emotional trauma on our experience of time. Harry was a severely traumatized little boy, nearly killed by his parents' murderer and left in the care of a family that mistreated him cruelly. He arose from the ashes of devastating trauma as a wizard in possession of wondrous magical powers, and yet he is never free from the original trauma, always under threat by his parents' murderer. As a wizard, he encounters portkeys -- objects that transport him instantly to other places, obliterating the duration ordinarily required for travel from one location to another. Portkeys to trauma return us again and again to an experience of traumatization. The experience of such portkeys fractures, and can even obliterate, our sense of unitary selfhood, of being continuous in time.

Trauma devastatingly disrupts the ordinary linearity and unity of our experience of time, our sense of stretching-along from the past to an open future.

Experiences of emotional trauma become freeze-framed into an eternal present in which we remain forever trapped...

 Experiences of emotional trauma become freeze-framed into an eternal present in which we remain forever trapped, or to which we are condemned to be perpetually returned through the portkeys supplied by life's slings and arrows. In the region of trauma, all duration or stretching-along collapses, past becomes present and future loses all meaning other than endless repetition. 

In the region of trauma... past becomes present and future loses all meaning other than endless repetition.

Trauma, in other words, is timeless. Further, because trauma so profoundly modifies our ordinary experience of time, the traumatized person quite literally lives in another kind of reality, completely different from the one that others inhabit.

 This felt differentness, in turn, contributes to the sense of alienation and estrangement from other human beings that typically haunts the traumatized person.

As a four-year-old boy, Friedrich Nietzsche was massively traumatized by the death of his beloved father. It was a crushing loss that haunted him for the rest of his life, eventuating in his madness. As a philosopher, he metaphorically captured the impact of trauma on our experience of time in "The Gay Science," where he introduced his famous doctrine of "the eternal return of the same":

What would happen if one day or night a demon were to steal upon you in your loneliest loneliness and say to you, "You will have to live this life -- as you are living it now and have lived it in the past -- once again and countless times more; and there will be nothing new to it, but every pain and every pleasure, every thought and sigh, and everything unutterably petty or grand in your life will have to come back to you, all in the same sequence and order... The eternal hourglass of existence turning over and over -- and you with it, speck of dust!"... If that thought ever came to prevail in you, it would transform you, such as you are, and perhaps it would mangle you.

The eternal return of emotional trauma is ensured by the finiteness of our existence and the finiteness of all those whom we love. Trauma looms for all of us as an ever-present possibility. 

I have long contended that the mangling and the darkness can be enduringly borne, not in solitude, but in relationships of deep emotional understanding.

In such relationships, we do not encourage the traumatized person to "get over it and move on."

Instead, we dwell with him or her in his or her endlessly recurring emotional pain, so that he or she is not left unbearably alone in it. 

As Bob Dylan sang it mournfully in his album, "Modern Times," "I'll be with you when the deal goes down."

This blog is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Daphne (Dede) Socarides Stolorow, who died 20 years ago today at the age of 34.


{Highlights, mine}

Robert D. Stolorow

Founding Faculty Member at the Institute of Contemporary Psychoanalysis, Los Angeles

article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-d-stolorow/coping-with-trauma_b_826995.html

Wednesday's Woe - Why Look for the Living Among the Dead?

Wednesday's Woe

Why Look for the Living Among the Dead?

I heard myself bemoaning aloud to Tommy, 

"I don't know why it is that I've been unable to visit Merry Katherine's grave for quite some time now."

Thankfully, Tommy is very aware of my grief process which includes much focus on having an ongoing relationship with my baby girl in Heaven despite her physical presence not being available to me on this earth. He knows that I keep my focus on her living spirit that is currently present with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, along with all the beloved ones who have gone on before us.

To me, my baby is still very much alive; I simply cannot see her.

Knowing all this about me, Tommy kindly looked at me and stated what should have been obvious to me…

"I guess it's because you know not to look for the living among the dead."

What an astute observer of my heart, and therefore also an understander of my resultant actions or inactions.

Though her body is still there in the grave, I know she is not there; her living spirit is now in Heaven. My focus therefore is on where she is, not on where she is not!

So, of course, why indeed would we look for the living among the dead?!

Graphic 1:

Empty On The Inside

TaLeah Anderson

~Pinterest

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/224265256418782112/

Graphic 2:

Grief and Loss

Cori-Anne Richardson

~Pinterest

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/173318285634718941/

Graphic 3:

~Grieving Mothers
~Facebook

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-frc3%2Ft1.0-0%2Fc0.69.528.352%2F1972507_231269360408239_2137325379_n.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fmbasic.facebook.com%2FGrievingMothers.org%3Fv%3Dtimeline%26timecutoff%3D1393189866%26sectionLoadingID%3Dm_timeline_loading_div_1420099199_1388563200_8_%26timeend%3D1420099199%26timestart%3D1388563200%26tm%3DAQAY30xl7rgiRpJ0&h=352&w=528&tbnid=R770iIuP8s3LdM%3A&zoom=1&docid=rk8_Soiwmr2CCM&itg=1&ei=38pqU8OsBZTlygGIoIGwDQ&tbm=isch&ved=0CK8BEDMoUDBQ&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=1767&page=5&start=73&ndsp=18

Graphic 4:

Poetry

Marla Brockman

Note: Although the graphic indicates this is a quote from ~Emily Dickinson, I am not sure that that is accurate as I have never seen it among all the poems of hers that I have read. ~Angie

~Pinterest

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/570760952748080352/

Tuesday's Trust - How Do We Have Hope without Despair? ~ "The Delight of Despair" ~Elizabeth Haworth

Tuesday's Trust

How Do We Have Hope without Despair?

Part Three

The Delight Of Despair

~Elizabeth Haworth

“And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead.”

Revelation 1:17

It may be that like the apostle John you know Jesus Christ intimately, when suddenly He appears with no familiar characteristic at all, and the only thing you can do is to fall at His feet as dead. There are times when God cannot reveal Himself in any other way than in His majesty, and it is the awfulness of the vision which brings you to the delight of despair; 

(I)f you are ever to be raised up, it must be by the hand of God.

“He laid His right hand upon me.” 

In the midst of the awfulness, a touch comes, and you know it is the right hand of Jesus Christ. The right hand not of restraint nor of correction nor of chastisement, but the right hand of the Everlasting Father. 

Whenever His hand is laid upon you, it is ineffable peace and comfort, the sense that “underneath are the everlasting arms,” full of sustaining and comfort and strength.

When once His touch comes, nothing at all can cast you into fear again. 

In the midst of all His ascended glory the Lord Jesus comes to speak to an insignificant disciple, and to say – “Fear not.” 

His tenderness is ineffably sweet. Do I know Him like that?

Watch some of the things that strike despair. There is despair in which there is no delight, no horizon, no hope of anything brighter; but the delight of despair comes when I know that “in me (that is, in my flesh) dwelleth no good thing.” (Romans 7:18)

I delight to know that there is that in me which must fall prostrate before God when He manifests Himself, and if I am ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God. 

God can do nothing for me until I get to the limit of the possible.

{Some highlights and indentions, mine}




Thank you to Elizabeth Haworth for today's devotional thoughts.

~~~

Yes, often we will find ourselves in a state of despair, but thanks be to our LORD, we do know and believe we have ahead of us, truly, a living hope:

Praise to God for a Living Hope

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 

4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 

5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 

6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 

7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

8 Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 

9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

~1 Peter 1:3-9

{Some capitalizations, mine}

Devotional: http://www.knowing-jesus.com/the-delight-of-despair/

Monday's Mourning Ministry - My Child's Cries to Her Lord that Night / My Heart is Overwhelmed ~Hillsong Live

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

~C. S. Lewis

Monday's Mourning Ministry

My Child's Cries to Her Lord that Night

My Heart is Overwhelmed

~Hillsong Live

Two days before what was ultimately to be her final day on earth, my 19-year-old daughter Merry Katherine called me. Evidently, my God, in His own inimitable way, had "spoken" to my child in her pain. He had a heart of mercy toward her and her struggles. Her heart had been so torn in her latter days on this earth as she sought to find her way through the morass of her confusion as to the direction she wanted to go. 

God's heart melted toward her, and He led her to call me...

Two days later, she had come back by the house for some of her things, and while she was here, she recorded some music on c.d.s that she wanted to take with her on her trip to the beach with friends for which she would be leaving later that evening. I later found on her desk-top computer here at home the songs which she had taken the time to record on that day, and they were songs of her heart's cry to her LORD. (These were some of the same songs that had been so significant to her in her earlier teens when she had been struggling, and God had met her so sweetly amidst her struggles.) These were the very songs she took with her on what was to be the fatal night that would take her life...

When I heard the following song on YouTube last week, it was as if I could hear what must have been her new cries to her LORD on that fateful night when He rescued her from her demise by taking her into His loving embrace. Her heart was at rest, finally at rest from all her struggles, and she could see clearly with her new eyes…  I would imagine these lyrics are very similar to the heart feelings flowing from her to her God on that night...

My Heart Is Overwhelmed

~Hillsong Live

(What I imagine was Merry Katherine's "song" to Jesus)

Perfect in love

Lord, You came to earth

To rescue me

You took my place upon that cross

The stains that held me back

Were washed away

You made me whole

Your love has set

The broken captives free

Your love released

The chains once binding me

I'm found in grace

In love's embrace

My heart is overwhelmed

I stand redeemed

Your Spirit now alive within my heart

I walk with you all of my days

I shall live to glorify You God

Hear my soul rejoice

Your love has set

The broken captives free

Your love released the chains once binding me

I'm found in grace

In love's embrace

My heart is overwhelmed

Sings my soul of how

Your love has set me free

Sings my heart of how

Your mercy rescued me

Hear my cry of endless love

To my Savior and to my King

My heart is overwhelmed

Sings my soul of how

Your love has set me free

Sings my heart of how

Your mercy rescued me

Hear my cry of endless love

To my Savior and to my King

My heart is overwhelmed

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbbtmmUw490

Blessed Father's Day - Daddies Who Have a Child in Heaven

Blessed Father's Day

Daddies Who Have a Child in Heaven

via 

~Grieving Fathers

People don't always see the tears a dad cries,

His heart is broken too when his child dies.

He tries to hold it together and be strong,

Even though his world's gone wrong.

He holds his wife as her tears fall,

Comforts her through it all.

He goes through his day doing what he's supposed to do,

But a piece of his heart has been ripped away too.

So when he's alone he lets out his pain,

And his tears come like falling rain.

His world has crashed in around him,

And a world that was once bright has gone dim.

He feels he has to be strong for others,

But Dads hurt too, not just the Mothers.

He searches for answers but none are to be found,

He hides behind a mask when he is feeling down.

He smiles through his tears,

He struggles and holds in his fears.

But what you see on the outside is not always real,

Men don't always show how they really feel.

So I'd like to ask a favor of you,

The next time you see a mother hurting over the loss of her child,

please remember…a Dad hurts too.

~~~

~Even Strong Men Cry~

You think because he’s a man he shouldn’t feel the pain,

of having his heart broken and tears that fall like rain.

Men you say are stronger and never show their fears,

they don’t let life destroy them, a fortress through the years.

Let me tell you of a battle waged daily on this dad,

leaving his heart in shreds with no happiness to be had.

Death came to call and took his loving son,

it left his heart broken, his world undone.

This battle has him crying and crawling on his knees,

if you listen you can hear him begging, "Why God, please?"

He sees what it has done to his children and his wife,

as they live daily with grief’s never ending strife.

Now his closest friend, his son, lives beyond the sky,

and when death comes to take your child..... even strong men cry. 

~Charlene Dickerson~ ©2001

~~~

Paul Newman, whose son died of an accidental drug overdose in 1978, said that everything in his life was divided into two periods, 

time before his son died and afterward.

~~~

When you become a Father……..

F = Fearless

A = Amazing

T = Tough

H = Heroic

E = Entertaining

R = Responsible

When Your Child Passes Away……………

F = Frantic

A = Angry

T = Tearful

H = Heartbroken

E = Emotional

R = Reserved

~~~

We are told, “It’s time to move on. Time to get over it. Time to get back to life.” 

How much time is enough time to “get over” death? 

And can we ever “get over” something as life-altering as the death of our child?

~~~

It's an exclusive club.

No one asked us if we wanted to join.

We never imagined we would be here,

but now that we are,

we are in for life.

A life sentence!!

~~~

I'm not sure that I'm ok,

Don't even think I'm fine,

I'm empty on the inside,

But not inside my mind.

My mind can't stop thinking,

What more could I have done,

I really can't stop wondering,

Where did everything go wrong.

I'm not really here at all,

Just the shell is left to see,

I have become someone,

I never thought I'd be.

A Grieving Father

~~~

The journey of grieving takes you from

loving in the presence,

to loving in the absence...

~~~

Don't say they're in a better place, 

please don't even start. 

Don't say that it was just their time  

when it's breaking my heart.

Don't tell me many die young or  

that their life was long 

Don't say that there's a reason   

or they're back where they belong.

Don't say that God needed them more  

or I know just how you feel. 

Don't give me any reasons   

when you're not at the wheel.

Don't tell me I'll get over it   

or any other thesis  

All I know right here and now   

my heart's shattered to pieces.

You don't need to say a thing   

there is nothing you can do. 

Just knowing that you're here for me   

when I've most needed you.

~Toni Kane

all-greatquotes.com

~~~

Letter From A Grieving Father

You can tell me that I'm not the only one hurting, or that he wouldn't want me to grieve. You could combine all the words in the English language, but that won't make this pain leave.

If you think that my jokes and laughter or my ability to complete any task are anything better than my smiles or silence, then you can't see past my mask.

If I seem inattentive or cold, or distant, uncaring, withdrawn... 

If I tell you that everything is fine, would you really know what's going on?

Life doesn't care, or even slow down. Much like a river, it's current can drown. My grief is an anchor that holds me down under as slowly it sets my whole world asunder. 

I'd like to escape and just disappear. But if I run far away from my problems down here, I'd fail much more worse than I've already done. I cannot escape, I cannot run.

I am the backbone that supports those that I love. Much like a column, I'm the support from above. I must be the strength, and as stoic as stone. Never to weaken even when I'm alone.

Never to falter, never to cry. Shedding no tears, these eyes must stay dry. I'll be the shining example of faith and of strength, not just for now-but at any length.

The distractions that are now only partially effective are slightly destructive and no longer corrective. 

This is what happens when I try to hide...I'm brought back to the night that my little boy died.

I'm just a man, and can handle many things. I've been through the worst that this world can bring. I wear those scars like my medals, and now I can see that healing from this is too much for me.

It turns out my toolbox is empty and my efforts were fruitless and my pitiful attempts are shallow and rootless, and in hindsight I should have called out to You... In hindsight I should have known what to do.

So, Heavenly Father, I hope I'm not imposing, but I'd like to request something in closing. From a father on earth with a shattered heart, would you please mend all of my broken parts?

- Matt Newton

~~~

I once had something special that money could not buy   

I had a special person but I had to say "Goodbye."  

If I was asked one question, Why I thought the world of you   

I could give a million answers and each one would be true.  

The heartache and the sadness may not always show   

People say it lessens, but little do they know.   

Meet me in my dreams please, and talk to me once more   

Ease the everlasting pain that makes my heart so sore.  

The road without you is so long, a tear for every mile   

But I know one day when I reach the end   

You will be waiting there with a smile.

Graphics, all thanks to "Grieving Fathers":

Grieving Fathers

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Grieving-Fathers/131616930235995

Graphic 1:
https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=169323223132032&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 2:

https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=597632006967816&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 3:

https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=636152219782461&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 4:

https://www.facebook.com/131616930235995/photos/a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995/638366176227732/?type=1&relevant_count=1

Graphic 5:
https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=645251605539189&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 6:

https://www.facebook.com/healinghandofgrief

https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=620975214633495&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 7:

https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=601949323202751&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 8:
https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=601272996603717&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 9:
https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=621038051293878&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 10:
https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=635265216537828&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 11:
https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=621554871242196&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Graphic 12:
https://mbasic.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=623765117687838&id=131616930235995&set=a.131661973564824.24127.131616930235995&source=46&refid=13

Tuesday's Trust - How Do We Have Hope without Despair? - Part Two

The LORD is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up Hope.

~Psalm 34:18 CEV

Tuesday's Trust

How Do We Have Hope without Despair?

Part Two

Despair is fleeting; Hope is eternal. 

~Angie Prince

~~~

We cannot appreciate The Light without first being aware of The Dark. 

~Rollin Prince

~~~

Despair haunts me at times. Especially when I get into a place of emptiness and purposelessness.

At those times, I don't know who I am; I don't know what I am capable of doing; I am challenged emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and in strength and endurance. Grief and Trauma are depleting in and of themselves. It doesn't take much more impetus to lose my way and plummet on down into Despair. 

Then when I go before my God in prayer, I immediately feel regret that I have so little to offer Him as I know He sacrificed everything for me.

But then my LORD Jesus comes to me in compassion engulfing me with love. Of course He knows the despair that comes in the fight with Death and Evil. Of course our Father God knows the despair that comes with Child-Loss. 

With such sweet understanding and compassion coming my way, the tears begin to flow, and I am reminded that ALL of this suffering is because of Love for my Child, and that Love matters.


After all, what is our God? God IS Love.

Then I begin, again, to recognize: My suffering has meaning. My suffering is not for naught!

Why did our God allow Himself the suffering of Child-Loss? Why did our LORD allow Himself the suffering of Death? ALL for LOVE. ALL for LOVE. ALL for LOVE.

Why do I grieve my Child? ALL for LOVE.

My Hope returns. Our God values us and our suffering so much that He declares in His word,

"God draws close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." 

Psalm 34:18

~~~

 "God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds." 

Psalm 147:3

Why is God so attendant to the brokenhearted? And why would He store our tears in a bottle?

YOU keep track of all my sorrows. YOU have collected all my tears in YOUR bottle. You have recorded each one in YOUR book.

Psalm 56:8

Why would He collect our tears in His bottle?

He knows all of it... the tears, the suffering, the agony, and the depletion, is because of LOVE, Love for my child. 

He understands, and He embraces me.

It was because of God's love for us that He willingly gave up His only Son to die for us so that we might live, eternally, with Him.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting LIFE.

John 3:16

The world wants to shame me for my weakness and helplessness. They want it to go away, and for me to "move on" away from my suffering...

The LORD understands my suffering. He suffered too.

The Bible clearly tells us it was because of Jesus' love for us that He laid down His life for us, that we can live again, forever with Him.

This is how we know what LOVE is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us.

1 John 3:16

And by His suffering, we also can heal. The Bible even tells us,

"By His wounds we are healed."

Isaiah 53:5 

Our Heavenly Father calls us to be like Jesus, take up our cross, be willing to suffer. Suffering has meaning. Suffering... because of Love.

And that is exactly who God says He IS… God IS Love. 

He suffered for Love. And we will suffer for Love.

God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example and you must follow in His steps.

1 Peter 2:21

But His Love gives meaning to our suffering, restoring our Hope…

I begin to understand anew the value of my suffering. Even though it depletes me, my suffering has Meaning. 

And God begins pouring His hope back into my heart...

And Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His Love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

Romans 5:5

~~~

May our LORD touch you and fill you with His joy and peace along with His Hope…

Graphics, thanks to

Psalm 34:18  Lani Stites  ~Pinterest
Psalm 34:18 CEV 

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/315252042636410337/

Jesus Loves Me!   Julie K. (God's Girl Jul)   ~Pinterest
"God Knows" - Matthew 6:8

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/29977153739779547/

Psalm 34:18    Lani Stites   ~Pinterest

Psalm 34:18

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/315252042636614236/

Psalms   I am His child   ~Pinterest

Psalm 147:3

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/520728775635544052/

The Word    Patty Berry   ~Pinterest

Psalm 56:8
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/96616354479550752/

God's Word   Addie Sutherland   ~Pinterest

John 3:16

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/180918110002164248/

God's Word   Addie Sutherland   ~Pinterest

1 John 3:16

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/180918110002359042/

Jesus Loves Me!      Julie K. (God's Girl Jul)   ~Pinterest

Isaiah 53:5

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/29977153739900020/

Jesus Loves Me!      Julie K. (God's Girl Jul)   ~Pinterest

1 Peter 2:21

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/29977153744508094/

The Word   Broaddus Shamblin   ~Pinterest

Romans 5:5

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/154952043401509700/

Jesus Loves Me!   Julie K. (God's Girl Jul)   ~Pinterest

Romans 15:13

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/29977153739879570/