Monday, August 10, 2009

Colors for Grieving People

Colors for Grieving People

As you grieve, learn to have discernment in allowing safe people to come close, while protecting yourself from the less safe. Perhaps it would be easier to think of people as “wrapped” in certain colors. It seems people come wrapped in different colored packages in the way they respond to you in the midst of your painful grief. Begin to notice which colors their hearts seem to “wear,” and gauge your openness to them accordingly as you guard your wounded heart from unnecessary added wounds.

Black—Wrapped in black, narcissists who can see only their own world may leave you in a "black hole." Your hurts are an inconvenience to their ever-sucking ego which can never get enough; if you come near enough, they’ll suck the life out of you. You are to be there for their needs as you are expendable and therefore not allowed to be human and not allowed to have needs of your own.

Yellow—People in yellow packaging may look “sunny” but yellow is for caution. They sound sweet, but they cannot deliver. They may act as if they can deliver, but they cannot. They do not have enough depth of soul to be able to walk with you through the ever-threatening shadows of the valley of death.

Red—Those people wrapped in red signal “Stop!” as they are a danger to the soul, ever-ready to lure you into evil to service their own dark soul.

Green—Flowing with green wrapping and ribbons, these sweet souls are influences for your growth; they bring words of healing, words that bring life and comfort.

Blue—As soothing water, people wrapped in blue are as healing to the sore, raw, bleeding, wounded soul which has been assaulted with “life’s obscenities” as rain is soothing to our cracking, hardened, choking, drought-ridden garden soil.

Purple—Possibly ignorant of their effect, folks wrapped in purple may mean well, but their impact on you may be quite potent for bruising your tender soul.

Orange—Like neon signs, these people dressed in orange seem to be shouting with their eyes quickly averted from you when passing by, “Stay Away from Us! We can‘t deal with your pain. And, after all, your Tragedy just Might Be Contagious! Stay Away!”

Pink—Like a pink fuzzy blanket that warms your soul, these people, by their kindness, ever-remind you that as weak, helpless, and useless as you may feel, you are really very precious, tender, and near to the very heart of God.

Brown—Like brown packages you have ordered via UPS, you have a good idea what is inside that package, so you eagerly open up to it.

Camouflage—These camouflaged packages are sometimes what God allows to come our way. From outward appearances, they may suggest ugly things like war, battle, death and dying, the end, but when opened and examined, as you experience these packages, the very pain and agony endured in the holding of them causes the Lamb of God to come by your side, bringing to you Life, Life-everlasting, the presence of the very Light of God, bringing Sweetness, Wisdom, Compassion, Grace, Mercy, Comfort, and His Peace-that-passeth-understanding.

Grey—When examined closely, as they begin to talk and ask inappropriate detailed questions outside of a proper healing-context, these grey "rubber-neckers" reveal themselves to be curiosity seekers who have allowed themselves, whether wittingly or unwittingly, to enter a different level of relating that is no longer helpful or edifying to the war-torn soul.

Putrid Green—These putrid-green wrapped people seem to feel the need to spew their judgmental frame-of-reference at your hurting soul which can batter and tear you with poisoning arrows that can infect and inflame an already-ripped-up heart.

White –Anyone who basks themselves in God’s loving presence on a regular basis seems to reflect His white healing light, so that when your grief-stricken heart is already screaming hurtful accusations or cross-examining you with terrorizing what-if’s, His love pours down on your heart, shedding His real truth and higher perspective about the whole situation, revealing His redemptive touch on every aspect of your life.

Tie-dyed—These people wrapped in tie-dyed colors seem so out-of-touch with their own soul and real personhood that the true colors of their soul seem all mixed up with the colors of others around them. All that seems to come from their mouths are formulas and quick-fix-its or platitudes and other soul-distancing words that can be a part of a “group-think” mentality.

Gold—Loving, kind, ever-ready to help in sweet, sacrificial ways you never dreamed anyone would do, these golden-wrapped people seem wrapped in the Love of Jesus, so that His Love radiantly shines through them, making them, indeed, worth their weight in gold.

( ) Transparent—Those who are ( ) transparent people are people who not only are in touch with their own soul but are also compassionate toward their own soul so that they seem to feel safe to shed any soul-distancing masks, and share with you the painful and difficult things they have experienced when such sharing seems appropriate to meet you “where you are” in your own pain.

May God wrap His healing arms around you and bring you His peace. And may He help us to discern the hearts of the people around us to draw more healing in from the healing ones and to better protect our grief-torn hearts from further unnecessary damage from the unsafe ones,

Written 2007 - Colors for Grieving People - Angie Bennett Prince
Picture: Fractal kaleidoscope from

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