A Mother's Day Lament ~ A Song and a Poem for You: Sometimes I Feel Like a Child-Loss Mom ~Bessie Griffin / "Holy Darkness" ~Dan Schutte

"No one understands my pain like Jesus, 

who suffered as one of us and came back 

{via His Holy Spirit into our hearts} 

to comfort us in our sorrows." 

Sunday's Sorrow

A Mother's Day Lament 

~ 

A Song and a Poem for You:

Sometimes I Feel Like a Child-Loss Mom 

~Bessie Griffin 

"Holy Darkness" 

~Dan Schutte

"Sometimes I Feel Like a Child-Loss Mom" 

edited version of "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child"

~Bessie Griffin 

(with lyrics edited for child-loss parents)

Sometimes I feel like a child-loss mom 

Sometimes I feel like a child-loss mom 

Sometimes I feel like a child-loss mom 

A long ways from home

A long ways from home

Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone

Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone

Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone

Way up in the heavenly land,

Way up in the heavenly land.

True believer

Way up in the heavenly land,

Way up in the heavenly land.

~~~~~

Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of Heaven

Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels…

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

~

"Starry Sky over the river Rohne" 

~painting by Vincent van Gogh

~~~~~

Yesterday, a precious fellow-grieving-mother/fellow-psychotherapist loaned me one of her favorite grief books, on the road to emmaus: A TRAVEL GUIDE THROUGH GRIEF (2008) (134 pages) written by Myrlene Hamilton Hess. I read the following entry today and had a really good cry, so I thought you fellow-grieving-mothers might "enjoy" the poignancy of this poem as well on this, your special day ~ Mother's Day. Warning: it did draw many tears from me today….

Excerpt from on the road to emmaus, page 50:

It's often true that a poem or a song or a picture communicates truth and emotion far better and quicker than many words in a narrative. The following song by Dan Schutte is one that communicates great meaning to me, and I hope it will to you as well. Think of it as God speaking to you into the dark night of your soul. Don't just read it; drink it in, and let it seep into your heart as you read it and ponder its meaning for you.

"Holy Darkness" 

~Dan Schutte

Refrain

Holy darkness, blessed night,

(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.

As we await you, O God of silence,

we embrace (Y)our holy night.

1.

I have tried you in fires of affliction

I have taught your soul to grieve.

In the barren soil of your loneliness,

there I will plant (M)y seed.

Refrain

Holy darkness, blessed night,

(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.

As we await you, O God of silence,

we embrace (Y)our holy night.

2.

I have taught you the price of compassion;

you have stood before the grave.

Though (M)y love can seem

like a raging storm,

this is the love that saves.

Refrain

Holy darkness, blessed night,

(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.

As we await you, O God of silence,

we embrace (Y)our holy night.

3.

Were you there 

when I raised up the mountains?

Can you guide the morning star?

Does the heart take flight

when you give command?

Why do you doubt (M)y pow'r?

Refrain

Holy darkness, blessed night,

(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.

As we await you, O God of silence,

we embrace (Y)our holy night.

4. 

In your deepest hour of darkness

I will give you wealth untold,

When the silence stills your spirit,

will (M)y riches fill your soul.

Refrain

Holy darkness, blessed night,

(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.

As we await you, O God of silence,

we embrace (Y)our holy night.

5.

As the watchman waits for morning,

and the bride awaits her groom,

so we wait to hear (Y)our footsteps

as we rest beneath (Y)our moon.

Refrain

Holy darkness, blessed night,

(H)eaven's answer hidden from our sight.

As we await you, O God of silence,

we embrace (Y)our holy night.

~~~

May you have a very Blessed Mother's Day!

The painting of Jesus comforting a mother is thanks to

"M" Words and the Christian Woman (on Facebook)

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/526991593866546810/

Lament Song: "Sometimes I Feel Like a Child-Loss Mom"

edited version of "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NDwW8onaoA

Lament Painting: 

"Starry Sky over the river Rohne" painting by Vincent Van Gogh

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/993523370689773/?type=3&theater

Lament Sentiment by Longfellow:

"Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven 

Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels" 

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Lament Poem: 

"Holy Darkness" 

~Dan Schutte

(Daniel L. Schutte, Holy Darkness (Portland, OR: Oregon Catholic Press, 1988, 1989).

found in the book, on the road to emmaus: TRAVEL GUIDE THROUGH GRIEF, page 50

Saturday's Sayings - Mother's Day Messages of Love from Across the Veil…

Saturday's Sayings

 Mother's Day Messages of Love from Across the Veil… 

Messages of Love

To, and From, 

Our Child in Heaven…

Parent to Child in Heaven:

Now that you are gone, 

my heart is broken.

But because you were once here,

it is completely filled with Love.

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

Don't weep at my grave,

For I am not there,

I've a date with a butterfly

To dance in the air.

I'll be singing in the sunshine,

Wild and free,

Playing tag with the wind,

While I'm waiting for thee.

~Angels of the Heart

Picture, Author Unknown

(This particular writing makes me tear up; I can just see my Merry Katherine saying this…)

~~~~~

 Parent to Child in Heaven...

I heard your voice in the wind today

and I turned to see your face;

The warmth of the wind caressed me

as I stood silently in place.

I felt your touch in the sun today

as its warmth filled the sky;

I closed my eyes for your embrace

and my spirit soared high.

I saw your eyes in the window pane

as I watched the falling rain;

It seemed as each raindrop fell

it quietly said your name.

I held you close in my heart today

it made me feel complete;

You may have died...but you are not gone

you will always be a part of me.

As long as the sun shines...

the wind blows...

the rain falls...

You will live on inside of me forever

for that is all my heart knows.

~ Bonnie Breuilly-Pike, 

"Under Orion's Sky...You Live" from "Dancing with the Spirits of Shadowplay"

"Holding Hands" painting by Judy Mackey

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

I'm no longer by your side,

But there's no need to weep

I've left sweet recollections

I'm hoping you will keep.

Eternal joy and memories

stay in our hearts forever,

strengthening our special bond

That parting cannot sever.

And if times of loneliness

bring sorrow and dismay,

don't despair, for I am there

Just a memory away.

~ Rita S. Beer

Painting by Claire Clements

~~~~~

 Parent to Child in Heaven...

When I close my eyes

You are here

Your charisma, your cheer, your tenderness

I feel you here

When I close my eyes

You are with me

Your spirit, your beauty, your charm

I feel you with me

When I close my eyes

You are in my arms

Your warmth, your compassion, your love

I feel you in my arms

No matter how far apart

Nor what the circumstance

I feel you here with me, in my arms - always

When I close my eyes

~ W. Jason Duncan 

Painting by Hyatt Moore

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

ALWAYS WITH YOU

Your heart may be heavy and aching,

Now that I'm no longer here.

But, though you may shed many tears,

Let memories banish your fear.

My arms are no longer around you.

My lips cannot speak of my love.

But, I'm with you in spirit each day,

As I look down from Heaven above.

The house may be silent without me.

It doesn't mean I can't be there.

And, every night that you sleep,

Our love, in your dreams, we still share.

As you continue, alone on earth,

I'll be with you each step of the way.

I can still be the strength that you need,

To carry you through each new day.

Although, I know you can't see me,

Our spirits are joined as before.

So, whenever you feel uplifted,

Know it's me just loving you more.

In Heaven, we're given a gift

To still tend to the ones left behind.

So, smile when you think of me.

I remain in your heart and your mind.

~ Marian Jones

Painting, Author Unknown

~~~~~

 Parent to Child in Heaven...

I remember everything about you

Your voice, your smile, your touch

The way you walked, the way you talked

The way you looked at me, meant so much

I remember all the words you said to me

Some funny, some kind, some wise

All of the things you did for me

I see now with different eyes

I remember every moment we shared

Seems like only yesterday

Or maybe it was eons ago

It's really hard to say

You are gone from me now

But one thing they can't take away

Your memory resides inside my heart

And lights up my darkest days

~ Author Unknown

"Mother and Child" painting by Claire Szalay

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

You think I've gone, that I am dead, and life has lost it's will,

But look around, I am right there, living with you still

I watch your tears, I feel your pain - I see the things you do

I weep as well, each time you cry, my soul, it lives with you

It gives such joy to hear you laugh, and do the things you do

And when you smile o'er by gone days, I smile right with you too

For we're still one, just you and me, one mind, one soul, one being

Walking forward into life, though only you are seen

And in the stillness of the night, when the pain it really starts

Stretch out a little with your mind and draw me to your heart

For I am always right in there, always by your side

For you have been, all my life's days, my joy, my love, my pride.

~ Author Unknown

"Souls Journey" painting by Janice Chrysler

~~~~~

Parent to Child in Heaven:

It seems like only yesterday

I rocked you on my knee,

With dreams about the future and

What you were going to be.

You were so bright and happy

Such a precious little boy,

You gave your love to everyone

And filled our hearts with joy.

Strangers would admire you

And stop to say hello,

"He'll break a lot of hearts," they said,

"In twenty years or so."

But less than twenty years from then,

What they said came true,

As we were forced against our will

To say goodbye to you.

A life so short and unfulfilled,

With so much left to go,

"Why, oh why?" we ask ourselves,

When we all loved you so.

Life shows us many options,

But whichever path we take

The destination's still the same

Whatever choice we make.

So many questions flood our minds,

"What if, and Why and How?"

If we had done things differently,

Would you still be with us now?

I don't know what the lesson was

That you were sent here to learn,

But now your purpose is fulfilled

It's time for you to return.

When I hear the phone ring

I expect to hear you say,

"Alright Mom? What're you doing,

Can I come 'round today?"

But you don't need to ask now,

You're with us every day,

Within our hearts, our minds, our souls,

Your memory will stay.

No fear, no pain or sorrow,

Can touch you anymore

But the love you've left behind,

Will live with us forever more.

~ Jan Andersen

"Mother and Child" painting by Karen Reitsma

~~~~~

Child in Heaven to Parent:

...But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.

I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before…

When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;

I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind…

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;

But together we can do it by taking one day at a time…

And when its time for you to go...from that body to be free,

Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.

~ Ruth Ann Mahaffey

Painting, Author Unknown

~~~~~

Parent to Child in Heaven...

So go and run free with the angels

Dance around the golden clouds

For the Lord has chosen you to be with (H)im

And we should feel nothing but proud

Although (H)e has taken you from us

And our pain a lifetime will last

Your memory will never escape us

But make us glad for the time we did have

Your face will always be hidden

Deep inside our hearts

Each precious moment you gave us

Shall never, ever depart

So go and run free with the angels

As they sing so tenderly

And please be sure to tell them

To take good care of you for me

~ Author Unknown

"Angel Light" painting by Marina Petro

(Capitalizations of Deity pronouns, mine)

Thank you to The Far Side of the Rainbow/Facebook 
for all of the writings and paintings used today!

You may find the individual entries below:



#1)
https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1075743665801076/?type=3&theater


#2)

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1067050356670407/?type=3&theater

#3)

~Angels of the Heart

Picture, Author Unknown

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1047186231990153/?type=3&theater

#4)

~ Bonnie Breuilly-Pike, "Under Orion's Sky...You Live" from "Dancing with the Spirits of Shadowplay"

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1041673662541410/?type=3&theater

"Holding Hands" painting by Judy Mackey

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/940952392613538/?type=3&theater

#5)

~ Rita S. Beer

Painting by Claire Clements

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1022273421148101/?type=3&theater

#6)

~ W. Jason Duncan 

Painting by Hyatt Moore

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1009616129080497/?type=3&theater

#7)

~ Marian Jones

Painting, Author Unknown

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1028883013820475/?type=3&theater

#8)

~ Author Unknown

"Mother and Child" painting by Claire Szalay

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/997224710319639/?type=3&theater

#9)

~ Author Unknown

"Souls Journey" painting by Janice Chrysler

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/967070473335063/?type=3&theater

#10)

Writing: ~ Jan Andersen

"Mother and Child" painting by Karen Reitsma

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/986539304721513/?type=3&theater

#11)

Writing: ~Ruth Ann Mahaffey

Painting, Author Unknown

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1075739515801491/?type=3&theater

#12)
Writing: ~Author Unknown
"Angel Light" painting by Marina Petro

https://www.facebook.com/farsideoftherainbow/photos/a.265765910132193.59124.259827837392667/1008157489226361/?type=3&theater

Wednesday's Woe - "We're Collapsing Here!"

Wednesday's Woe

"We're Collapsing Here!"

"We're collapsing here!"

so the golfer said.

His was only a game of golf,

(For him--- no Master's coat received.)

(For us? Our child is dead!  

The worst a parent can conceive….)

"We're collapsing here!"

Yet, the Truth is what sets free.

My collapsing here…?

Is such suffering my Master's call for me?

"We're collapsing here!"

Such state taints all we do!

Yet…it seems that into such suffering,

our God calls all His saints…

"We're collapsing here!"

To die to self feels like sure defeat,

(But only in God's purview…

what we define as loss,

our God defines as gain!)

Drop the encumbrance of this world~

Our loss becomes God's gain!

"We're collapsing here…"

What if That is our true call?

We suffer the world's worst loss,

Yet, our child receives God's all!

"We're collapsing here,"

A golfer's response to a game

Yet in the true Game of Life

Our loss becomes God's gain...

Meaning is restored:

Lord, help me collapse in You again…

Poem - "We're Collapsing Here!" - Angie Bennett Prince - April 11, 2016

(the day after golf champion Jordan Stied lost the Masters' Tournament…)

♫ Monday's Mourning Ministry ~ You Were Always On My Mind

Monday's Mourning Ministry

You Were Always On My Mind

Coming to the end of Merry Katherine's birthday month, Tommy and I were listening to a variety of music in an attempt to bring some peace and comfort to our hearts. The music was entertaining and even comforting. But then we began listening to this song "You Were Always On Our Mind," written and sung by Willie Nelson in his poignant voice.

Both hearts melting into a pile, we fell into each other's arms and cried and cried... and cried some more; it was if our crying could not stop.

It has been 9 1/2 years after losing our baby girl, yet we are still thrown back to Square. One. 

We each cried so hard.

I had scheduled clients for the following day thinking that that date should be well past Merry Katherine's birthday date and that I should be in a fairly stable place to help others by then...

Well, I calculated wrong. . .

My eyes were so swollen they would barely open. Needless to say, I cancelled clients for the next day...

I am doing better today but of course, even as I write and post this song for you, I am crying again!

~~~

You Were Always On My Mind

~Willie Nelson

Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have...

If I made you feel second best

Girl I'm sorry I was blind

But you were always on my mind.

You were always on my mind.

Maybe I didn't hold you

All those lonely, lonely times

And I guess I never told you

I'm so happy that you're mine

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

Tell me,

Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

And give me 

Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied

I'll keep you satisfied

(Musical Interlude)

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

~~~

We parents, I think, do the very best we can by our children, but of course, there are always some things we think we could have done better when we look from hindsight. So the poignant words of this song pierce the very center of my heart and soul as I ever long to do more and more to nurture my baby.

It would be so nice if we could peer into Heaven and see the incredible peace on our beloved one's face, but that is where we need the Lord's help to live by faith...

Sweet blessings to each of you...as you grieve your precious child. May our Lord bind every wound of your hurting heart day by day by painful day...

~~~

This Scripture is our comfort, for it assures us that our broken hearts are very important to God... so important He sent Jesus to rescue us, to save our crushed spirits, and to bind and heal our brokenness:

A portion of our Lord's words found in Luke 4:18 KJV as He was indicating that His coming to earth was for the very purpose of fulfilling of the prophecy He quoted from Isaiah 61:1: 

"He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted."

Isaiah 61:1-3 KJV

Old Testament

King James Version

1)The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; (H)e hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

2)To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

3)To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

 

New Testament (over 400 years later)

Luke 4:18-21 KJV (Jesus speaking)
18"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because (H)e hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; (H)e hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

19To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD."

20And (H)e closed the book, and (H)e gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on (H)im.

21And (H)e began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.

{Highlights and some capitalizations, mine}

Thank You God, and Thank You Jesus that You sacrificed everything out of love for us and out of love for each and every one of our precious "babies."

https://youtu.be/R7f189Z0v0Y

Pictures, thanks to Bing Images

Sunday's Sorrow ~ Good Mourning!

Sunday's Sorrow

Good Mourning!

Good Morning!

(Welcome again to my world of sadness.)

Or shall I say, "Good Mourning!"

As I celebrate my child who brought me gladness...

Tears flow~

As I remember my child's and my love for one another…

Must they slow?

No! Such is the life of a Grieving Mother!

Good Mourning!

Do not let the world tell you your tears are bad ~

Our tears are simply God's reminder of what we had ~

Good Mourning!

Every grieving mother knows

Cherishing our child's love is worth being sad!

Good Mourning!

So until we reach Heaven, our tears must flow!

The tears that represent our sacred treasure,

others ~who are blind~ will call "fools gold"!

Good Mourning!

As our Lord said, "Blessed are those who mourn" ~

We, of all people then, are blessed beyond measure!

Good Mourning!

Poem - Good Mourning! - Angie Bennett Prince - April 2, 2016

~~~~~

Grief is not a disease;

it is not an illness;

it is not depression.

It is, in fact,

an expression

of love.

Grief can only 

be a disease

if love is.

~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, 

fellow psychotherapist and grieving mother

Happy Birthday in Heaven Merry Katherine!

Happy Birthday in Heaven Merry Katherine!

Your birthday brings back memories

Of laughter and of tears

Of all the celebrations held

Throughout your precious years

As you're now watching over me

I hope that you can see

How much those memories we made

Will always mean to me

I'll always cherish times we had

And smile just at the thought

I hope you know the magnitude

Of joy your life here brought

On holidays and birthdays

It's so hard to be apart

Like every day that falls between

Your memory fills my heart

You're with me now where e'er I go

You're part of all I do

I'll celebrate your special day 

And the gift of knowing you

Happy Birthday, precious (((((Merry Katherine)))))! 

Though you are forever 19 and forever held in our Father's arms, we hold you so close in our hearts on what today would have been your 29th birthday here on earth. 

We love and miss you today and everyday and will for the rest of our lives and forever after that! 

Love to you from 

Mommy, Daddy, Rollin, Stephanie, Nathan, and Ashley heart emoticon
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With thanks to
(Card lyrics written by ~kp)
Out of the Ashes / FB