Saturday, April 20, 2013

~Prayers~







My heart and prayers go out to all the ones that have (lost) loved ones or (were) affected by the Boston Bombing.

~via Journey of the Survivor








Friday, April 19, 2013

Friday's Faith - The Road to Recovery ~Carol Hampson, grieving mother






Friday's Faith 

The Road to Recovery 

~Carol Hampson, grieving mother







Posted on March 19, 2013 by Carol Hampson

Looking back on the time of grieving the loss of my son, I feel gratitude for the experience. There will always be times of sadness, but the gains are immeasurable.
On the first day of knowing my son was gone forever, when I took to my bed with a broken heart, certain truths rose from within: Only good can come from love. Chris will be with me always. There is meaning and purpose behind his death. In the months that followed, I held onto the insights of that first day. They became my guide, my faith, my eventual resurrection.

The Road to Recovery
Grief, in those first unbearable months would come in waves. In moments of relief, I could feel Chris’s loving presence. He didn’t exist in our time anymore, but as a spirit in eternal time. Though I didn’t know if that sense could last, it was a revelation—the saving grace. I learned that my two states of awareness, that of Chris’s absence and his presence, could not exist side by side, but only in succession. Surrendering wholeheartedly to the pain of loss, allowing it passage, opened a door into God’s realm.
About 4 months after Chris died, I decided to write a book to honor his memory—the brave soul he had been on Earth. In addition to my own memories, I collected stories from his friends. Through the hearts of others, Chris came to life in ways I could not have known him otherwise, enriching (my) own memories. I wrote the stories down and drew upon them to write my book. Freedom to Fall grew in its own way, becoming not only a story about Chris but about my journey through loss, an intertwining of our two worlds.
Little by little, in addition to my work as a storyteller, I found ways to step back into the world. I volunteered at a rehabilitation hospital for patients with spinal cord or brain injury due to accident. I fed home cooked meals to the homeless outside a shelter in downtown Denver—folks with whom I shared a raw vulnerability. Most especially, I decided to go into the world with an open heart, not hiding my grief. That willingness helped bridge a gap and brought unexpected gifts of compassion. However, for a long time those steps remained tentative. Over the span of a few years, I spent precious hours at home, simplifying my life, convalescing, relishing the quiet and the repose.
Sensing that there had been purpose behind Chris’s death helped me accept his passing. It is my faith that everything happens for a reason. And though there were times of doubt,  invariably I would return to the sense that he was needed on a higher plane. As I wrote, “…I would see with fresh eyes that Chris’s death had been purposeful. He was always going home, so close to God he was, and I would just feel so happy for him, imagining his joy….”
The way I responded to devastating loss that first year established my approach in the following years. With God’s help, I laid a solid foundation, choosing not to just leave healing to the passage of time. I knew there was so much more I could bring to the situation. I felt I owed it to Chris to let go of the past, where he no longer was, to make my peace with his death, and move on.
There will always be times for crying, when I am reminded of the dear person I lost, but each year has brought more wholeness and a return to a good life. This can be mainly attributed to the blessings that came on the first day. Indeed, only good can come from love! I have cultivated through faith and persistence my connection with Chris—our love—which becomes more golden through the years.
For those who struggle with loss, I offer these words of encouragement: Keep the faith; you will make it through. There is a passageway towards light. If you allow God to be your guide, letting go of the past in order to be led, you will open yourself to healing and to a deeper truth. That truth will become your redemption.

Excerpt from Freedom to Fall:
“Nurturance is the bedrock that allows the soul to thrive. To nurture myself now is to be light with myself, joke with myself, laugh gently at my gravity. To nurture myself is to take care of my needs in the best way possible—to rest, take walks in the mountains, soothe this rawness, and become creative again.
"To nurture myself I only need to receive whatever comes my way, accepting that life just goes on. Witness this life. See that it is but a single stop in the journey of the soul. Be in relationship with others.
"There is no need to block experience. Don’t hide from the things that cause pain, for they are tools for healing—sunlight, children playing, the patter of rain, the smell of pine. Receive fully my life this moment, and I will be carried forth. Lay bare my wound and allow it to bleed. Go forward with the sense that things are as they should be, and my loss will be transformed.”

(highlights, mine)










Picture, thanks to ~Missing Loved Ones



From grieving mother Carol Hampson's blog:



Thursday, April 18, 2013

Thursday's Therapy - How to Deal with Toxic People ~Robyn Lindsey





Thursday's Therapy

How to Deal with Toxic People

~Empowerment and Grief Coach, Robyn Lindsey





April 4, 2012

How to deal with toxic people



Greetings! My name is Robyn and I am a certified empowerment and grief coach...

I’ve done a lot of work with crazy-makers or emotional vampires. Something I think we all struggle with is the unhealthy people and situations that seem to make their way into our lives.

We all strive to live an empowered life. We all want to soar. Yet there are people who seem to have no function but to sabotage our efforts. How do we deal with these speedbumps? How do we cope?

The first step is to identify these people in your life. I’ve had bosses, co-workers, family members, and friends all be speedbumps in my forward progress. I’ve also had people I barely knew act as a crazy-maker or emotional vampire.

Once you are aware of who they are, it’s time for some boundaries. Working on a new project? Don’t share the details with them. Don’t give them a chance to get you down. Instead, reach out to those who stand by you, who hold you up, who offer support.

If you have to go out to dinner with your Aunt Ruth who tries to break you down, only discuss non personal topics. Make a list of “safe topics” and memorize it. Talk about the weather, a news story, a new baby in the family. Have a wonderful, pleasant meal without the attacks. Do the same with co-workers (though likely tweaking the topics a bit).

I have some satellite family members who like to negate my attempts. They haven’t learned how to think outside the box, so when I do so, they panic and tell me all the ways it’s not possible. I stopped telling them what I was working on. When I wrote my book recently, there were perhaps 3 family members that I told while I was writing. The others? I shared after, and they cheered me on. Had I told them during though, they would have been crazy-makers and thwarted my efforts.

Know your right people. Share your efforts with those who will encourage you and you will soar.
If you are constantly finding yourself in situations that get you down, I’d suggest journaling it out. Why are you in those situations? Are you drawn in (thereby acting as your own crazymaker)? Are you required to be there because of a job? If your job is constantly a toxic environment, I’d suggest you get out if you can. Can you avoid these situations? If you can, do so. If you can’t, be clear with your boundaries and don’t allow others to trample them. Journal. Journal. Journal. I really can’t say that enough.

One last thing… about journaling and crazy-makers. If you journal daily, at least 3 pages, your champions and crazymakers will become apparent. You won’t really have to do much more self-examination to be crystal clear on just who they are.

Know what else? You deserve to soar. You deserve to be cheered on!


~Robyn Lindsey, Empowerment and Grief Coach



~~~~~



For more on "Emotional Vampires," you may want to check out our post from November 5, 2009:










Article:



Monday, April 15, 2013

Tuesday's Trust - The Greatest Grief





Tuesday's Trust

The Greatest Grief





Every grief is different and comes with its own extenuating circumstances. A homicide may involve police interrogations, courtroom proceedings, and years of additional legal issues before closure can finally be obtained. Some never experience closure. A loss from suicide may result in years of unresolved guilt or anger in addition to the grief. Loss of parents may result in foster care for younger children along with additional legal issues. Each loss carries with it a set of unique issues pertaining to that specific type of loss, even including financial hardships and relocation requirements. However different, however similar, grief is still grief.

After losing his father to renal failure and his teenage daughter to a freak vehicle accident, my uncle David stated, quite profoundly, "When you lose a parent, you lose your history. When you lose a child, you lose your future."

One thing still holds true: Any loss results in great grief.

Although I'm not sure I understand why it matters, there seems to be an un-uttered question resounding in the mind of everyone who is grieving: Is the grief I'm experiencing the greatest of all grief? Is my grief greater than everyone else's? As bad as our grief hurts, we can't imagine it could be any worse under any other circumstances. So we ask, who grieves harder, or longer, or more deeply?

It's as if we need to know: On a grief-scale of 1 to 10, where is my grief? Is this normal? We seem to need something to measure it by. Something to reassure us that what we are going through IS normal.

So, whose loss is greatest? Which truly is the greater grief? While in a small group discussion recently, these same questions arose. Who grieves harder or longer? Is the widow's grief greater than the parent? Is the mother's grief greater than the father's? Is grief greater when it's because of suicide? Or homicide? Or multiple grief?

The answer is really quite simple. The greatest grief of all is your own. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, or how anyone else tries to measure the loss. You aren't the first person to experience grief. But you are the first person to experience YOUR grief. Someone you loved deeply is gone. You can't bring them back. That's the aching reality of it all and there is no greater grief than that.

There is also no greater hope than the hope we have in Jesus Christ. For we rely heavily on His promises that life is eternal and we will be reunited with our loved ones again. This doesn't mean that we won't continue to grieve, missing our loved ones presence in the here and now, but our HOPE lies in the reunion in that place "where there is no more sorrow."

Jesus said, "Love never fails." That means it can never end. It is eternal. For love to be eternal, life must be eternal! As your love for the one no longer with you is eternal, find hope in His promise that "Love never fails."

May this greatest hope give you strength in your greatest grief, and may God bless you and bring you peace.

~thanks to "Grieving Mothers," Facebook










Picture and Post, thanks to "Grieving Mothers" on Facebook

Monday's Mourning Ministry - If You Came Back from Heaven ~Lorrie Morgan






Monday's Mourning Ministry

If You Came Back from Heaven

~Lorrie Morgan









If You Came Back from Heaven

~Lorrie Morgan



I wouldn't know what to say
I wouldn't know what to do
If you came back from Heaven
And I could look at you,

Would I fumble for the words?
Would I be a little shy?
Would I bust right out with laughter?
O break right down and cry?

O, if you came back from Heaven 
Would it be like it was then?
Could we just pick up where we left off
And try it all again?

O, if you came back from Heaven
It would freeze me in my tracks
And I hope God knows, if He let you go
I'd never send you back...

Do your kisses feel the same?
Do you still have the same touch?
And will you whisper softly
That you've missed me so much?

Have you heard all my prayers
When I lay down at night?
And did you feel my body
When I held your pillow tight?

O, if you came back from Heaven
Would it be like it was then?
Could we just pick up where we left off
And try it all again?

O, if you came back from Heaven
It would freeze me in my tracks,
And I hope God knows, if He let you go
I'd never send you back...

And if, God forbid, you leave this earth again while I see
I hope He knows if you go, you'll be bringing me...

O, if you came back from Heaven
Would it be like it was then?
Could we just pick up where we left off
And try it all again?

O if you came back from Heaven
It would freeze me in my tracks
And I hope God knows if He let you go,
I'd never send you back...


And I hope God knows if He let you go,
I'd never send you back...










Picture: thanks to ~Remembering Loved Ones
Grief Song: If You Came Back from Heaven - http://youtu.be/-j0_NrqkQ5w

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Saturday's Sayings - Always Missing You...






Saturday's Sayings

Always Missing You...








The Stone

Slowly she lowers to her knees
To brush the dirt and dust
She's come to sit with him again
So bend her old bones must

Lovingly she wipes away
Dirt gathered on the stone
Each letter touched in memory
Regret and longing shown

She sits back and remembers days
So full of love and laughter
And longs to hear that sound again
And will each day hereafter

She wipes her eyes and tries to smile
And talks about her day
She tells him how their life has been
Since he has gone away

She tells him how his brother's grown
And wishes he could see
The very caring, loving man
He's turning out to be

She tells him that they miss him so
And talk of him each day
Ad how they still can't understand
Just why he couldn't stay

She puts her head against the stone
To sing a lullabye
And swears the next time that she comes
He will not hear her cry

But for now she must go home
As night falls once again
She bends and kisses that cold stone
As if to tuck him in

~k.p.
~Out of the Ashes



~~~~~





~In Loving Memory



~~~~~





The rain falls because the cloud
can no longer handle the weight
The tears fall because the heart
can no longer handle the pain

~author unknown
~Grief The Unspoken




~~~~~





~The Grief Toolbox



~~~~~





~My Special Angel



~~~~~





~Out of the Ashes



~~~~~





~Hope for the Brokenhearted



~~~~~





~Grief Speaks




~~~~~





~Grief Speaks



~~~~~





~Grief Speaks










~Top picture, thanks to ~Grief Speaks

Friday, April 12, 2013

Friday's Faith - To the Naysayers of Our Grief ~Angie and Tommy Prince






Friday's Faith

To the Naysayers of Our Grief

~Angie and Tommy Prince





We won't "get over it";
We won't "move on"!
So, please get over it;
Stop droning on!

You just don't know
What Child-Loss is;
(Hopefully) you'll never know,
So just stay out of our biz!

There's no "getting over it"
There's just walking it through.
There's no "moving on";
There's just facing it daily, alone!

If you have any compassion for us,
You may share your heart;
Otherwise, don't come near us,
Or you'll burden our already-broken heart.

God is tender, God is kind;
He faithfully ministers to my broken heart.
Be thankful I put my faith in the only One
Who keeps me from tearing you apart...!


~~~





"There are just no words...no words at all that can express what it feels like when your child leaves this earth. It is an all consuming, overwhelming feeling that doesn't go away--Ever."

~Grieving Mother, Jill Compton

Poem - To the Naysayers of Our Grief - Angie and Tommy Prince - 4/12/2013









Top Picture, thanks to ~Remembering Loved Ones
Bottom Picture, Thanks to grieving Mother, Jill Compton via ~Angels at My Door

Thursday's Therapy - Trauma Resets Personality ~Nigel Barber, Ph.D.






Thursday's Therapy

Trauma Resets Personality

~Nigel Barber, Ph.D.  






Trauma Resets Personality


Traumatic events as "deep" as personality.
Psychologists know that some aspects of personality are virtually unchangeable. These traits are described as “deep,” meaning that they are (a) biologically based and (b) difficult to change (1). You cannot turn a sociopath into a saint or crush the ego of a narcissist.

Such change is theoretically possible but it would require profound changes in brain biology. For instance, researchers shifted polygynous mountain voles to monogamy by altering brain receptors for the hormone oxytocin (2).


Deep means hard to change – not hard to acquire

A trait does not have to be genetically inherited, or even present at birth, to be deep. If you ever felt nauseated by eating porridge as a child, the chances are that you skip the oatmeal when you go out for breakfast decades later. Food aversions are deep, but they can form after a single unpleasant meal, according to experiments on rats.


One of the curious features of personality change is that we are more profoundly altered by highly unpleasant experiences than by highly pleasurable ones, possibly because painful experiences signal imminent threats to survival.

Fear is a powerful motivator. This fact was revealed by animal behaviorists more than half a century ago in research that is ethically questioned today. In shuttle box avoidance, a dog learned that a light coming on at one side of the apparatus was a warning that the floor would be painfully electrified in 10 seconds. Subjects soon learned to jump over a low barrier to reach the safe side of the cage and received no more shocks.

Dogs easily mastered this avoidance task. Researchers now wondered how long it would take them to forget it. They continued the experiment as before but with the shock generator disconnected. To their amazement, the dogs continued to jump as they had when there was a risk of shock. After some 8,000 trials with nothing to report, the scientists reportedly got bored and packed it in.

Fear of physical harm is one important source of psychological problems. Fear of social rejection is less obvious but potentially just as important. A great deal of evidence suggests that corporal punishment, and scolding, make children turn out more aggressive and antisocial (3).

Interestingly, the effects of different kinds of unpleasant experiences on the brain are equivalent because they are mediated by the same stresshormones. Such effects involve alteration in brain anatomy and function (4,5). They include: intellectual stunting; delinquency, poor impulse control; lack of work motivation; and precocious sexuality (3).

It is as though a stressful childhood primes people to focus on immediate gains to themselves regardless of the consequences (3).



Implications for clinical psychology

Clinical psychologists are often called upon to help victims of extremelytraumatic experiences move on with their lives. No one ever claimed that would be easy, and now we are beginning to understand why.
Some unpleasant experiences produce permanent changes in the brain and corresponding shifts in intelligence, emotional reactivity, happiness, sociability, and other traits that used to be thought of as set for life.

These personality shifts are generally considered pathological and that is undoubtedly true of post traumatic stress disorder, which ruins the lives of sufferers and their families. Yet, we need to recognize that many of these changes were useful to our ancestors in adjusting to risky environments.










Picture, thanks to ~Remembering Loved Ones
Article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/em/113255
Sources:

1. Seligman, M.E. P. (1993). What you can change and what you can’t. New York: Fawcett Columbine.
2. Young, L. J., Murphy Young, A. Z., & Hammock, E. A. (2005). Anatomy and neurochemistry of the pair bond. Journal of Comparative Neurology, 493, 51-57.
3. Barber, N. (2009). From steroids to nation states: An integrated evolutionary approach to violent crime. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 14, 415-422.
4. Kalinichev, M., K. W. Easterling, P. M. Plotsky, and S. G. Holtzgman. (2002). Long-lasting changes in stress-induced corticosterone response and anxiety-like behaviors as a consequence of neonatal maternal separation in Long-Evans rats. Pharmacology Biochemistry and Behavior, 73, 131-140.
5. Teicher, M. H., Andersen, S. L., Polcari, A., Anderson, C. M., and Navalta, C. P. (2002). Developmental neurobiology of childhood stress and trauma. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 25, 397-426.



Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Wednesday's Woe - Give Us This Day Our Daily Dread? ~Tommy Prince







Wednesday's Woe

Give Us This Day Our Daily Dread?

~Tommy Prince





Merry Katherine's Birthday. Easter. Our Anniversary. My Mother's Death Day… All of these events hit, terribly close together, and we all have had a particularly bad time. There has been no reprieve from one thing to the next. You think you're in the clear for awhile. You're looking for a break, and then you realize that right around the corner is Mother's Day, and then it's Father's Day.


We tend to cope by saying, 

"If I can just get through this, I'll be okay." 

Then we realize there's another tumultuous event just a few weeks away.



Instead of looking forward to celebrating a special occasion, it's looked upon now with a sense of dread… More events, more holidays we can barely tolerate. And this, on top of our already horrendous daily grief…


It's like there's no real break between these seasons, so we find ourselves living amidst an interminable sense of dread...






Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Tuesday's Trust - On Our Anniversary ~ A Sorrow Grows






Tuesday's Trust

On Our Anniversary ~ A Sorrow Grows





Yesterday was our anniversary (our 34th!). Tommy and I were talking, and sharing with one another how much we loved each other. In this context, he shared how hard it is sometimes for him to see me crying and to know, really, he cannot comfort me, not enough anyway to stop my pain. I reassured him that along with that pain though, I am feeling the sweetness of remembering my baby. And yet, I understood his feelings of helplessness; I feel it too, when he cries…

It is hard too, that our anniversary date falls just one week after Merry Katherine's birthday when our missing her so deeply is still so fresh. This morning, Tommy said to me,


"Over time, as her birthday approaches, I am realizing that despite the years,  the pain doesn't dissipate; it accumulates!  

"All these years of being without her, and yet we face even more years to come… The pain doesn't lessen over time; it increases… 
"It seems that over time, the losses just mount up. There are more and more special days that can never be special without her…."


Later in the morning, I found the following song that expresses these sentiments so well. The song, essentially for us, serves as a sweet anniversary song, sharing our hearts' deeply-felt sentiments to one another.

We want to share our love song with you.




'Til Each Tear You Cry Becomes a Rose

~Husband and Wife, Keith Whitley and Lorrie Morgan

~lyrics by Wilbur S. and Mary Sharon Rice



Darling, I can see the clouds around you
And in your heart, I know a sorrow grows
But if you weep, I'll be right here to hold you
'Til each tear you cry becomes a rose

Dearest love, I know your heart is shattered
And all my words can offer no relief
But my love will heal the pain you've suffered
And I'll be here if you should turn to me.

Darling, I can see the clouds around you
And in your heart, I know a sorrow grows,
But if you weep, I'll be right here to hold you
'Til each tear you cry becomes a rose

In deepest night when memories tend to gather
Lay with me, and put your fears to sleep
Cause there's no pain, no dream can put asunder
All the love that binds you and me.

Darling, I can see the clouds around you
And in your heart I know a sorrow grows
But if you weep I'll be right here to hold you
'Til each tear you cry becomes a rose

'Til each tear you cry becomes a rose











Pictures, thanks to YouTube
Our Love Song Amidst Grief: http://youtu.be/SKW-TcdXKvU

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Monday's Mourning Ministry - A Picture of Me Without You ~Lorrie Morgan






Monday's Mourning Ministry

A Picture of Me Without You

~Lorrie Morgan





On Facebook this week, I ran across this song from a fellow grieving mother who said,

This is kinda mournful and twangy........
but it (popped) up on my screen...
And the words are true,
Of a mother's broken heart.

~Grieving Mother, Lu Prudhomme of "Our Angels and Angel Family Friends"




A Picture of Me Without You

~Lorrie Morgan



Imagine a world where no music was playin'
then think of a church were nobody's prayin' ~
Have you ever looked up at a sky with no blue,
Then you've seen a picture of me without you.

Have you walked in a garden where nothing was growin'
Or stood by a river where nothing was flowin'?
If you've seen a red rose unkissed by the dew,
Then you've seen a picture of me without you.

Can you picture Heaven with no angels singin'
Or a quiet Sunday morning' with no church bells ringin'?
If you've watched as the heart of a child breaks in two,
Then you've seen a picture of me without you...

Can you picture Heaven with no angels singin'
Or a quiet Sunday morning' with no church bells ringin'?
If you've watched as the heart of a child breaks in two,
Then you've seen a picture of me without you...


Then you've seen a picture of me without you.


.






Picture, thanks to ~Remembering Loved Ones 
Grief Video: http://youtu.be/26PX4y6Qy9Q


Saturday, April 6, 2013

Saturday's Sayings - Holding Onto Hope… Amidst Despair







Saturday's Sayings

Holding Onto Hope… Amidst Despair











~"Grief The Unspoken" 

No matter how you want to
spin it "Letting Go" has never
set well with many 
grievers. Letting go sounds 
like a direction given. We
should replace the two short 
words to "Healing Is 
Possible." Passing along hope
is what is needed. Not
direction. There are plenty of
teachers and others out in our 
world ready to give me help
with my grief. But if a person
has no hope, it makes it
difficult for the griever to
choose healing.




~~~~~




Speaking of Hope… Then, there are the days when it seems everything, including hope, is knocked out from under you… We have just been through an "anniversary" ~ of yet another birthday… without our child… And for whatever reasons, the bottom was knocked out from under us, and we went spiraling down to a deeper level of grief from which it has been terribly hard to surface for air… O, the pain of feeling such moments of hopelessness, helplessness, and despair...

~Angie and Tommy





~Wings of Hope-Living Forward

I have found in the years that have passed
that I am most vulnerable
at times of remembrance. 
The word "anniversary"
no longer holds a promise of celebration. 
Instead, holidays and birthdays,
family gatherings and otherwise joyous occasions
contain an undertow of sorrow. 
If I get caught up in it,
I quickly get pulled under
and wind up gasping for breath. 
It is ironic that
the presence of an absence
can be so emotionally devastating.

– Bill Jenkins

~Wings of Hope - Living Forward




~~~~~






~Remembering Sleeping Babies 


Grief rarely comes packaged in tidy stages with time frames for each. While grief can begin with disbelief, move to anger, sadness and end with acceptance, these reactions can just as readily occur every day following a loss. They may be stronger in the weeks or months after the loss and diminish as time goes on, but they may also be minimal at first or suppressed and then surge up powerfully long after one thinks one "should" be grieving.

The important aspect to remember in relation to grief is that there is no timetable to it nor any "normal" manifestations. Some people cry endlessly while others merely become quiet, some make themselves extremely busy while others sink into inertness. For some, anger predominates and for others it is deep sadness. Grief is more like a rollercoaster of emotions that rise and subside over a period of months or even years than a set of fixed reactions that one passes through and is finished with.

One will experience days of calm when acceptance seems to have finally arrived followed by a time perhaps of renewed rage or weeping. Of course, significant anniversaries will likely rupture one's emotional stability again. Coming across memorabilia, photographs or passing through a place of importance to the loved and lost one can also lead to a welling of grief once more.

~Wings of Hope-Living Forward

~Thanks to Grieving Mother, Lu Prudhomme




~~~~~





~"Grief The Unspoken" 




~~~~~






~Remembering Sleeping Babies


“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. 

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. 

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. 

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. 

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. 

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. 

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. 

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. 

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer





~~~~~






~I Miss Those Close To Me Who Are Now In Heaven As Beautiful Angels



When others allow a parent or family to openly and freely talk to them about their child who has died, they are allowing that parent the blessing of remembering that child's life, validating that their child had purpose and meaning, and they are helping that parent to be a parent. Just because a child dies does not mean a parent is no longer a parent! And, as we know, every parent loves to talk about his/her child -- even if that child is no longer here on earth! It is such a blessing for others to say, "I remember your child, too! I have a story to tell you." Or, if the child loss occurred during miscarriage or other early loss, "I was so happy for you when you were pregnant. I'm praying for you and hope your heart isn't feeling so broken today." Eloquent words aren't needed, but caring words are!

~Silent Grief - Child-Loss Support

~Thanks to Grieving Mother, Kathryn Bonnett




~~~~~





~"Grief The Unspoken" 

You're Still Here - Richard Lepinsky

At the finest level of my being,
you're still with me.
We still look at each other,
at that level beyond sight.
We talk and laugh with each other,
in a place beyond words.
We still touch each other,
on a level beyond touch.
We share time together in a place,
where time stands still.
We are still together,
on a level called Love.
But I cry alone for you,
in a place called reality.




~~~~~





~Out of the Ashes 



“Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.”
~Elisabeth Elliot

~Thanks to Hope for the Broken Hearted




~~~~~





~Out of the Ashes 




~~~~~





~Remembering Sleeping Babies 












1st Picture, thanks to ~"Grief The Unspoken"