Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Wednesday's Woe - When Will I Find the "New Normal"?

Wednesday's Woe

When Will I Find the "New Normal"?

~Tommy and Angie Prince

In Young Frankenstein by Mel Brooks, the scientist Frankenstein asks his assistant Eigor, after experiencing his newly-created man which turns out to be more like a monster than a man,

"What was the name on the jar that contained the brain you found?"

Eigor told him he didn't remember, then he suddenly recalls,

"...It was... uhh... 'Abby'... something!"

Frankenstein says, "Abby... something???"

Eigor says, "Yes, that's it! 'Abby... Normal'!"

And the scientist realizes now he's in real trouble...

Well, I feel like the old joke that says

"When God was handing out brains, He thought I said 'drains,' and He washed mine out...!"

Yeah, I know...Corny...! But, anyway, our questions to any of you Child-Loss grievers is...

What is the "New Normal"?


When does the "New Normal" kick in?

(And I'm sure hoping my "New Normal" is not the one entitled, "Abby...Normal"!)

What is the final "Key" to the puzzle of

Who am I?

What can I handle?

What am I capable of doing now?

Whom can I be around?

What work can I do now?

Is there such a thing as a "New Normal" that we Child-Loss grievers ever attain? Is it a place we at least attain to that will indicate some level of stabilization, or is the "New Normal" an ever-changing condition, following the ever volatile and undulating path of our Grief?

"I still don't know what I can handle," Tommy says. "If something does happen like my getting triggered, do I have enough in my tool kit to be able to function?"

"I still don't know who I am, and what I am capable of doing," Angie says. "We are in the field of helping people who are in great distress, and it is our job to get down into that pit with them to better understand the emotional angst they are up against. This requires a great deal of emotional stamina. And since no client wants to get in touch with pain easily, the therapist will be pushed and tested and challenged all along the way.

"So how can I in good conscience take on a client who has some heavy-duty work to do when I am not even sure what I am able to handle? Therefore, who am I? Can I do the work I was trained to do, and did for 27 years before my world crashed? And if not, what am I capable of? And what direction do I take when I am so lost in grief? It is like the pilot who, when surrounded by constant cloud coverage, gets disoriented, loses touch with where the ground is, and at any moment easily could come crashing down..."

What is your experience with the "New Normal"?

Can you describe what that "New Normal" is for you?

And, What does your "New Normal" now look like?

And finally, how long did it take you to get there?

Picture thanks to FotoSearch.com


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