The New Lepers' Colony
I did not go to the baby shower;
What does that make me?
I am changed.
I can small-talk with the best of them
Why would I now?
Not now, when my child has died.
Small talk is for a social gathering -
My world has stopped;
There's not much social about it.
My world is about dealing with death.
Can death walk into a room with life?
They don't mix very well...
"Me? Oh I spend every day in tears.
Did you hear our good friends'
child was killed? Yes, killed
on the day before Mother's Day.
And how are you doing?"
As my boys tease about their daddy and me,
"Boy, these guys really know how to party..."
Life is different now.
All is serious... but the laughter in between.
People die. People can die.
And yes, Children die.
And child-loss mothers I meet are like me...
The walking dead.
We hover together, mourning our children
Since no one else wants to hear...
They'd rather go to a party;
I've tried the parties,
Really I have,
But the last "get together"
was a disaster.
Petty meanness showed up -
And I? I'm too tender for such,
Piled upon my pain.
Pain upon pain is too much.
So others can party.
They're welcome to.
But we, we want to hear our child's name
In the context of their life,
who they were,
who they are now...
For they're still alive,
in spirit now.
Have you heard of the "Great Cloud of Witnesses"?
It's real you know.
I told my son and daughter-in-law...
I won't be at the parties
But I will be here for my grandbaby~
They're lovingly naming her
After their sister / my baby!
When my baby left, my world stopped
And yet, perhaps it really started...
I only focus on what is real,
what is important, what is deep,
what is soulful,
Much like I do in my counseling practice.
Perhaps the world should see us as
missionaries now, on a different planet...
Missionaries to one another,
Binding our wounds,
Crying out our pain,
Wiping our tears...
The language of the wailing mothers
In the new lepers colony called
Even Scripture says,
Rachel refused to be comforted
for her children are
I'm thankful God understands...
He comes alongside,
He too lost His Child...
"A voice is heard in Ramah
mourning and great weeping,
Rachel weeping for her
And refusing to be
because her children are
~Jeremiah 31:15, NIV
Poem - The New Lepers' Colony - Angie Bennett Prince - 6/14/2011
NIV - New International Version of The Holy Bible