Monday’s Mourning Ministry — If You Want Me To

Monday’s Mourning Ministry

If You Want Me To

Contrast of Worlds—Confusing

To think of her, I’m so confused O God.

When she was here, she was so unhappy,

Driven to a lifestyle that enslaved her,

Leaving her with decisions made rashly.

And I…so scared, so worried about her,

One day close to her, the next far away—

Yet always, a wall of lies between us

Kept our mommy-daughter closeness at bay.

And then…one rash decision too many,

Determined was she t’ go t’ the beach with friends…

One smoked marijuana with meds that morn,

Then drove ‘nd crashed to bring her ‘nd two friends t’ their ends.

But then, last night I saw pictures of her,

Sweet pictures I had never seen before...

A couple of years before death—happy—

Like she was back; it shook me to the core.

Why Lord, could she not be back here happy

Like I know she is now, but there with You—

It’s so confusing to know—she’s at peace

When Mommy’s left behind, feeling so blue.

Our contrast of worlds is so confusing.

My whole life was aimed at getting her peace,

And now she has it—I can’t be with her—

How does a mommy deal with life’s caprice?

Is this a demonstration of where I

Must decrease for my child, You must increase,*

Knowing she was in such misery here—

Accepting You attained her sweet release?

Our contrast of worlds is so confusing.

Perhaps You too could bring her mommy peace

To trust You worked out for her what was best,

‘nd trust You’ll work through grief t’ bring me sweet release…

*He must increase, but I must decrease.

John 3:30 KJV

***

One of Merry Katherine’s favorite songs that spoke to her heart speaks to me as well…

If You Want Me To

by Ginny Owens

***

…I’ll remember the suffering Your love put You through,

And I will go through the valley if You want me to…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtNzOpKvPfw

KJV – King James Version of The Holy Bible

Poem – Contrast of Worlds—Confusing – Written 10/17/09 Angie Bennett Prince