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Tuesday's Trust
Christmas Reflections:
My Child's 5th Christmas in Heaven
When my child was alive, many times I felt I did not know how best to parent her.
Now I find I do not know how best to grieve her.
Both jobs feel like they are full-time, on-the-job intensive training. And with each "job," I find it holds the intensity of life or death. With such sacred callings, to love and to grieve my precious child, I find I can entrust myself only to my Lord who is Himself, the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
This child is a ball-of-energy, full of life, and I find that out of necessity, she challenges me to discover new energies, skills, and friendships which energize and enliven my life...both before...and after...her life in Heaven.
What an impact this precious child and hers-and-my precious Lord have on me. What joy she must feel to see that she so strongly impacts her mommy's life, ensuring her mommy takes up her own energetic pursuit of life and love that brings joy and fulfillment in this life, and even more-so in the life-to-come. Even now, it seems her life invests in mine much more richly than it feels I was able to invest in hers in the relatively short time she was here.
Thank you, sweet baby for loving your mommy even and especially when I hurt, and for being ever-ready with your show-stopping smile when you see me faltering in my deep grief.
It is amazing to me how just your smile can snap me out of the deepest traumatic grief, and transport me into a warm feeling, a smile, and sometimes even a laugh ~ almost instantaneously.
It seems like one of the Heavenly miracles God gives me through you. How sweet He is to share you with me and let you still be a part of my life! That you can bring such uplifting joy into the deepest, darkest grueling grief is truly one of God's greatest Treasures found in the Darkness.
Your smile brings not only joy into my grief, but it brings you and your enlivened spirit back into my life.
Providing ...
A rare glance into Eternity.
A peek into the Unseen.
A reminder of Light that overcomes our Darkness.
Assurance of what I hope for.
Certainty of what I do not "see."
Evidence of the Graciousness of God's Redeeming Love.
Thank You God for this gift of sharing my child with me in spirit, one of the many miracles that Your Son's birth brings to us ~ Your children still on earth, longing for Home!
2 comments:
Simply beautiful! :)
Thank you for your sweet comment Traci.
My heart is with you as you too grieve your precious Brittney with her radiant smile who too lit up your world. May our grieving together always give us those glimpses into Eternity to continue to see those radiant smiles, as our children now bask in His Love, ever in His Presence!
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