Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Wednesday's Woe - Our Child's Absence: Degrees of Impact… ~Tommy Prince

Wednesday's Woe

Our Child's Absence: Degrees of Impact…

~Tommy Prince

There are degrees of impact on us parents when it comes to our child's absence. Our child's absence is such a powerful force upon our naked heart, that we are forced to navigate our pathway through such devastating grief as carefully as we can. 

I don't feel the impact of Merry Katherine's absence sitting here watch the Formula One race and eating peanuts. 

However, in getting together with family. . . I feel the impact of her absence, and it is unbearable. 

Of course I am going to avoid those situations where the emotional pain is unbearable.

We walk through this severe grief as best we can; it's like the open-wheel Formula-One race-car drivers knowing they need to navigate very carefully around the curves. One too-close brush against another driver's bare tires, and it's over. Kaput. Finis. So, too, we Child-Loss Grievers navigate. We learn to navigate. 

We are forced to slow down at points everyone else races through without thinking, but our "tires" are bare, unshielded, and MUST BE PROTECTED, or we know we will take a NOSEDIVE that takes "forever" to recover from.

Over the coming holidays, many of us will be reassessing the way we choose to spend the holidays. Can we grapple with "the usual" family get-togethers, or will we need to "drop back and punt" and do what is reassessed as our "new Normal," or as we say, punting "the usual" to defer to our particular needs, which we refer to as "the New Usual." 

Will we need to say "No, there will not be a family-get-together for us, not this year, maybe not in any year to come; we will let you know," as we have determined is right for us, or some version that best befits your own current needs? 

It is for each individual griever to decide. But we all admit to some degree that we have been changed forever; to what degree that is for each of us must be determined, and then to decide what changes in our lifestyle need to align accordingly. May you give yourself permission to do what you need to do during this hectic time of the year.

Scripture very wisely says, "See danger, and take refuge." May we all be very discerning, and carefully take the appropriate measures to guard and comfort our tender, broken hearts in the coming days…

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.

Proverbs 27:12 (NLT)

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

Proverbs 27:12 (NIV)

Picture, thanks to ~GriefSong
Scripture, NLT = New Living Translation, NIV = New International Version, of The Holy Bible


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