Saturday, June 19, 2010

Blessed Father's Day

Knowing you were blessed to be a father,
May you have a blessed Father's Day...


Found on Facebook this week:

Grieving Father Patrick T. Malone says,

We (from the Compassionate Friends/USA) found a quote that American philosopher, essayist, and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote upon the death of his son...

Emerson wrote this poem in 1842 when his son died of Scarlet Fever. Prior to that his first wife had died in 1831, a brother in 1834 and another in 1836. So he knew grief well and knew the impact of the death of a child.

Like many of us, he felt all was lost at that moment in time. Perhaps the bigger lesson Emerson has left us is that he did the
greatest work for the 30 years after the death of his son.

So while it may be hard to believe for many who are experiencing the searing pain associated with the death of their child, perhaps your best work is yet to come.

My son, a perfect little boy of five years and three months, had ended his earthly life. You can never sympathize with me; you can never know how much of me such a young child can take away. A few weeks ago I accounted myself a very rich man, and now the poorest of all.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Child-loss Grievers' Comments to Emerson's quote:

~"When it is your child.. a part of you dies also.! I have had to learn to live."

One man said...~"My sister asked how I'll spend Father's Day. Ignoring it.

Another grieving father said, ~

"I have the same feeling to most holidays. I find family gatherings to be very difficult still. At my parents' 60th Anniversary party last year my group provided the music and I spent the entire time playing and not having to think about Kev not being there."

a mother~"

I felt poor like I lost everything.

When I hear fights over material things and people spending so much of their time trying to gather and collec (sic) things it makes me ill thinking how that time is so wasted. We can't take any of it with us except the love we give and get."


No one can truly ever understand unless they go through it. The hole is not closeable nor repairable. With us, because of Bryant's unique abilities and his disabilities, many people felt "sorry" for us and him ~ those types will never understand how incredible a gift he was and is."

Another man: ~"

This is so true. My whole life has been ripped apart, and will never be whole again."


It's like walking around with your guts hanging out - an artery severed - and still trying to participate in life - they - only allow you so much time to grieve - then - they look at you funny -"

A grieving mother~"No one will ever know how much of me left when my beautiful son unfair, so cruel, so painful."

A grieving father~"

This is so true. My whole life has been ripped apart, and will never be whole again."

The loss of Ben has me empty as well. How can this be?"

A Grieving father~"Since my son died nine long months ago, I have tried to verbalize the absolutely paralyzing sorrow that overtakes me at the mere mention of his name. Emerson's quote finally puts words to my feelings. "You can never know how much of me such a young child can take away." Nothing can or will ever bring light back to the empty dark corner of my life that was once illuminated by Andrew (his 18 year old son).

~The wave of sorrow stops my happiness. the child, gone from my sight, forever in Gods arms.

A mother grieving for her son and her grieving husband~"My heart hurts for my Husband as Fathers Day approaches as my heart hurt on Mothers Day. These are such hard things to overcome."

~ Son, we definately (sic) were RICH with you here, poor without you......but, God has you and will bring us together again. Great quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Wishing all you fathers a peaceful Father's Day.

~"i totally agree with this statement ..i find that since each way a child passes away is different no one can truly understand the depth of a parents loss...."

A father writes, ~"This quote pretty much sums up what is in my heart each and every day!"

~"Fathers (and mothers) grieve forever."

~"I hope all the dads get through this fathers day !!!!"

~"Beautiffully (sic) put! So perfect. The space left behind with the loss of my son is now a black void in my world. I may survive, but it will never be filled."

~"To all the Father's out there who have loss (sic) a child, we (moms) sometimes forget that you have suffered like we have. Happy Father's Day!"

~"So true and so beautifully put. The loss of a child leaves a void that NOTHING can replace. I just found out when I lost my precious daughter two years ago. I miss her more and more every day."

~"Thanks, Patrick. Wise, encouraging words. I love Emerson; knowing his best work happened after the death of his son is strengthening. I promised myself and my son that I wouldn't let his death negatively define me forever and while some days are better than others, I often feel his support as I move forward, creating a new and different life."

Thank you Patrick for the wonderful and insightful quote. May God bless all of us grieving mothers and fathers on Father's Day. My heart breaks for each of you.


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