Saturday's Sayings - Grief... Is About Loving Our Child

Saturday's Sayings

Grief... Is About Loving Our Child

Please allow me to grieve...in my own time, in my own way.

I HAVE LEARNED:

Tragedy does not come knocking on your door three days in advance to let you know when to expect him. So that you will know to be waiting on him. He comes within the very blink of an eye. In an instant; and he is never gentle about it.

Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone loved dies. Grief is the weight in the chest, the churning in the gut, the physical pain in your heart and soul, and the unspeakable thoughts and feelings.

Mourning is the outward expression of grief. Mourning is crying, journaling, creating artwork, talking to others about the death, telling the story, speaking the unspeakable.

Everyone grieves when someone loved dies, but if we are to heal, we must also mourn.

Time does NOT heal all wounds. This is not a wound....it is an amputation. "Loose an arm or a leg, and let me know how long it takes for it to grow back!" It won't!! TIME only allows you the space needed to get used to living WITHOUT. It does not heal.

~thanks to Grieving Mother, Jill Compton

~~~~~

The stronger the love the deeper the grief

Our life here is oh so brief.

Your heart aches for just a touch

Anything of his, just to clutch.

His body is gone, but not his soul

That is the part that keeps you whole.

I wish your pain I could release

So you could know a moment's peace.

But know we all, send our love your way

To help you through another day.

~Scott Moreland

~~~~~

Dear You,

You say that I should be over this by now. 

How can that be it has only been four month(s) and three days that they officially declared him gone. You were not there when it happened, you did not find him. He did not leave you when you were only steps way and did not know. I should have know(n) I am his Mom. You are not the one that panicked trying to get him dressed to take him to the hospital, looking for a mirror to see if he was breathing, all the time knowing that it was really bad. You didn’t lay your head on his chest praying to hear his heart beat. You are not the one that didn’t call 911 for almost 10 minutes because you thought that he was breathing and his heart was beating and it wasn’t. You were not there.

You say I should be over this by now. 

You are not the one who birthed him, had him grow in your body. You are not the one who nursed him, held him for the first time. You are not the one.

You say I should be over this by now. 

You are not the one, who only wanted to have everyone leave when he was in the coma, just so you could read him the book he talked about. You are not the one who knew he was gone, and pleaded with him to go back into his body. You are not the one he said, “No, Mama it’s too cool here.” to.

You say I should be over this by now. 

You were not the one who heard, if his condition doesn’t change we will be declaring him dead in 6 hours. You were not the one who they asked to donate his organ. You were not the one they called saying that you couldn’t so now not even a little piece of him survived. 

You say I should be over this by now. 

You were not the one that went back to the hospital when they disconnected him. You did not crawl into that hospital bed with your head to his chest until his heart stopped beating. You were not there. You were not the one who held him until it was over. You were not the one to cover his face with the sheet after it was all over. You were not the one who could not see that and snatched it back down to look at him one more time. 

You were not there.

Me

~contributed by Grieving Mothers

~~~~~

You can try to hide me

You can pretend that you're okay

You can push away your friends and family

It will only make me STAY

Alcohol and drugs won't help either

It'll create a false relief. Tomorrow I will be here...

Stronger beyond belief

The only way is to go through me

"Grief"

~~~~~

Don't try to figure out a grieving family;

It's impossible unless you are one,

"Just love us";

No one will ever know

The loss we live with everyday!

~~~~~

Sometimes, when one person is missing,

the whole world feels depopulated.

~Lamartine

~~~~~

Love is divine..never-ending, 

always forming, 

grows intensively, and 

surrounds us.

Pictures and Quotes, thanks to Grieving Mother~Jill Compton, "Death of a Loved One," and "Grieving Mothers"