Tommy and I were blessed to have our brand new (almost 7-months old now!) grandbaby "Ellie" ("Merry Ellie," named after Merry Katherine) stay with us for about five hours yesterday afternoon while Rollin and Stephanie went to the doctor. They met the radiologist who will do Rollin's radiation therapy (he will have 2 rounds of daily 4-week radiation treatments coming up for him as a preventative measure to ward off potential cancer cells) since he had his testicular cancer removed almost 2 months ago). Please pray!
Our time with Ellie was very sweet, as usual. And ~as usual~ I got triggered back to my own baby girl, Merry Katherine. . .
Ellie enjoys trying out new noises, so I decided to sing to her. Tommy and I were sitting outside on our patio with her, all three of us swinging on our glider. The wind was blowing steadily through the trees, so automatically, out of my mouth flew the song,
"Hear the wind blow dear;
Hear the wind blow.
Angels in heaven hear the wind blow."
And immediately the tears began to flow down my cheeks (even as they flow now) as I pictured these angels being in Heaven next to Merry Katherine . . .
But almost as soon as the tears came, I "felt" Merry Katherine say,
"I'm right here Mommy!"
quickly reminding me she hovers near, so much closer than I tend to think. I smiled and was comforted, but the tears still flowed.
All this time, Ellie is cooing along with me, also bringing me joy amidst my sorrow. Tommy ran and got me some tissues so I could wipe my eyes and nose. Then I read to Ellie from one of Merry Katherine's tiny little childhood books while Ellie "turned" the pages for me. (Tears are still rolling down my cheek as I write.)
It has been a tough week with clients in crisis. How sweet that on my day off, God let me enjoy my visit with my two favorite girls in all the world . . . Merry, and Merry Ellie ~ God is good. Grief is still so hard, but my baby girl is okay, and she is nearby, smiling even as I cry. Yes, God is good.