Saturday's Sayings - Progress in the Healing Journey… - Part Six

Saturday's Sayings

Progress in the Healing Journey…

Part Six

The agony is great and yet I will stand it. Had I not loved so much I would not hurt so much. But goodness knows I would not want to diminish that precious love by one fraction of an ounce. I will hurt. And I will be grateful for that hurt for it bears witness to the depth of our meaning. And for that I will be eternally grateful.

~Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

~~~

We never really "heal" from Child-Loss Grief and Trauma, but we're always in recovery. We can be in a process of healing, but healing will not completely happen this side of Heaven. 

Amidst our Child-Loss Grief and Trauma, when you think about it, we have been assaulted emotionally, physically, and spiritually! We never really "heal" from Child-Loss Grief and Trauma, but we're always in recovery. We can be in a process of healing, but healing will not completely happen this side of Heaven.

~Angie and Tommy

~~~

"The case of a parent losing a child is very special because the most deep-seated protective and nurturant emotions are brutalized. Because this 'injury' is so severe to such primitive emotional processes, the grieving parent is likely to feel and express the pain associated with it for the rest of his or her life."

~Dr Joanne Cacciatore

~~~~~

~Out of the Ashes

~~~~~

~SKTJ Creations via Wings of Hope~Living Forward

Distractions from our grief can be nice, but the old adage of "Just stay busy" is not so helpful because to help our traumatized systems deal with and process our grief, loss, and trauma into our lives, we must allow ourselves to face our horrific and incredibly sad reality one tiny bit at a time, and many times over and over and over. It is as if we have become unraveled by this reality and we must carefully reweave our frazzled foundation back into a tapestry by which we can "live" again, with changes in our lives, yes, but with new meanings for our child's death, as well as transitioning ourselves into a new understanding of our child's life now, and our new way of relating to them now.

~Angie

~~~~~

~Remembering Loved Ones 

~~~~~~~

My life has been

shattered

so (bear) with me while

I pick up the pieces

~Remembering Loved Ones

How beautiful to be able to be honest with one's self that our lives are shattered, and that others simply must bear with us as we sort through and pick up our broken pieces rather than try to shape our lives around what "they think we should be" amidst our terrible grief.

~Angie

~~~~~

When a person loses an arm or leg, they have several weeks off work, they are put into daily physical therapy, and they are often given emotional support to help adjust to life without a limb. When child loss occurs, we are given off 3 days work without pay (if we are immediate family), no time off to learn how to live with part of our heart missing, and we must search long and hard to find consistent emotional support to help us adjust to life without part of our heart. There's just something very wrong about this picture. Losing a child is far more intense than any other loss we can ever experience yet we must continually remind people of how hard this loss is! God bless every family going through the pain of child loss today!

~thanks to Grieving Mothers, Marsha Bell, Leena Landmark, and Isabelle Efstathiou sharing this post from "Silent Grief - Child Loss Support"

~~~~~

When I'm feeling desperate and lonely,

I search for your face in a cloud,

And though my lips may be silent, 

My heart cries out ever so loud

How can it be that you have left me?

Are you safe in heaven above?

Has God in his goodness embraced you

With his sweet, everlasting love?

Do you know that I yearn to hold you?

Can you hear me repeating your name?

Can you see that I'm lost without you

That nothing...no nothing's the same?

In time will I be more accepting?

Will my poor heart begin to mend?

And will I find peace in believing

I'll be with you once again?

I'll be with you once again!

~I Miss Those Close To Me Who Are Now In Heaven As Beautiful Angels 

It is so important for us face our devastating loss and its effect on us. Everyone else is wishing it away, but we truly know it is just not that easy to "move on" when we have lost a core part of our lives and of  who we are. 

The questions in this graphic are questions that help us to transition from seeing our beloved children as being here with us, to not just seeing them as gone, but seeing them in their newly transformed state of peace, surrounded by love in our Father's arms. These questions are typical of ones we will often ask our child, our Father, and ourselves along our journey as we try to grapple with this stark reality that has been thrust into our world.

~Angie

~~~~~

~Out of the ashes

Couldn't say it any better than that! How precious and tender.

~Angie

~~~~~

~Remembering Loved Ones 

The risk of love is loss,

and the price of loss is grief -

But the pain of grief

Is only a shadow

When compared with the pain

Of never risking love.” 

~ Hilary Stanton Zunin

Another beautiful way to say what Dr. Kubler-Ross said...

~Angie

~~~~~

~Grieving Mother, Alice Jay Wisler, graciously sent to ~The Compassionate Friends of Atlanta

Don't ask

what his

name was.

Ask, instead,

what his 

name is. .Don't ask

…………….how much I

…………….loved him.

…………….Ask how

…………….much I love

…………….him still. ...In Heaven 

…………….…………...... love never

………………………….... .dies.

…………….....It is only

…………….....perfected;

…………….....those who

…………….....dwell there

…………….....are more ALIVE than

…………….…………….you or I.

……Their LOVE

……radiates Forever

………………………….~Alice J. Wisler

Top picture, Broken, thanks to ~Death of a Loved one