Friday's Faith - How Do We Repair Our Grief "Damage"? ~Tommy and Angie Prince

I have had many losses throughout my lifetime

but never anything that felt like my heart was

shattered into a million tiny pieces and

changing everything about me and who I am…

Friday's Faith

How Do We Repair Our Grief "Damage"?

~Tommy and Angie Prince

Yesterday, I (Angie) went to settle up with a client after an insurance payment had come in… She (very graciously) asked me to recheck my figures as it didn't seem quite right to her, so I did. And to my dismay, I discovered (after five hours of rechecking all the figures) ~of course not able to find some of the critical paperwork that was needed that had just come in at the end of December mind you~ (I call it the "Grief-Stupor Syndrome"), that indeed, my figures were off by about a thousand dollars!!! My mathematical brain seems to me to be broken as what I once was able to do ~almost in my sleep~ now seems to be beyond me to accurately figure out. (Granted, even my billing practices have been compromised as paperwork just seems to be in that 10% of my life that gets impacted with some unwanted neglect by my seeming 90% consumption with my grief!) 

I am thankful to get the problem sorted out, but still, I somehow feel "broken" by my grief. . .

~~~~~

What do we do as Child-Loss Grievers when we see how strongly our child's death continually impacts us even 6 1/2 years into our grief?

A car gets wrecked, and you assess the damage to see if it can be fixed, and for how much, and is it worth it to be fixed. 

A child gets killed, and the parents are left behind with broken hearts shattered into a million tiny pieces. What do we do? Do we now have to just assess the damage, and see how much of this heart can be fixed, and how much of it is totaled? And, if some of it can be fixed, then how do we go about getting it fixed?

The cars in our neighborhood that were left out in the driveways during the hail storm were damaged - through no fault of our own. Some cars were able to be fixed, and some cars were totaled. Neighbors went to insurance adjusters, and the insurance adjusters determined whether or not their cars could be fixed; the insurance adjusters have certain standards they go by to determine whether or not a car can be fixed, or whether it should be totaled. 

Here we are as bereaved parents, walking around with a broken heart, wondering if we can be fixed, or how much of us can be fixed amidst our grief "damage." 

To whom do we go to assess the damage? Nobody "gets it" but us, yet we are broken. . .

Perhaps this is where we go to God. The only alternative we have is to go to God, and say, 

"Help! How can my heart, brain, body, and soul be fixed after my heart has been shattered into a million tiny pieces?"

It's so strange that those we need

…………And those we love the best

……………………Are just the ones God called away

………………………………And took them Home to rest

But every time I think of you

…………I seem to hear God say 

……………………have faith and trust My promise

………………………………You'll meet again someday…

~2013 Michele S.

~Picture, thanks to Grieving Mother, Pat Dattoli Wentworth

"Heart Shattered in a Million Tiny Pieces" Picture, thanks to "Grieving Mothers," Barbara J. Karrer