Saturday's Sayings - Progress in the Healing Journey… - Part Five

Saturday's Sayings

Progress in the Healing Journey…

Part Five

"Accept new forms of life and talk to the dead who drift in through the screened windows, who collect patiently on the tops of food jars and books. Recycle the mail, don't read it, don't read anything except what destroys the insulation between yourself and your experience or what pulls down or what strikes at or what shatters this ruse you call necessity."

~Louise Erdrich

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We never really "heal" from Child-Loss Grief and Trauma, but we're always in recovery. We can be in a process of healing, but healing will not completely happen this side of Heaven.

Amidst our Child-Loss Grief and Trauma, when you think about it, we have been assaulted emotionally, physically, and spiritually! We never really "heal" from Child-Loss Grief and Trauma, but we're always in recovery. We can be in a process of healing, but healing will not completely happen this side of Heaven.

~Angie and Tommy

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"The case of a parent losing a child is very special because the most deep-seated protective and nurturant emotions are brutalized. Because this “injury” is so severe to such primitive emotional processes, the grieving parent is likely to feel and express the pain associated with it for the rest of his or her life."

~Dr Joanne Cacciatore

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The secondary injury of people's lack of understanding or even hurtful words can sometimes feel worse  when those we expected would love us through the world's worst grief not only aren't there for us, but say some of the most hurtful words, or show the meanest of attitudes when they feel threatened by the depth of our grief. This adds loss upon our loss and feels almost unbearable.

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Some people seemed desperate to get us back out into their public circles, even inviting us to their dinner parties early into our grief. They just couldn't seem to fathom the depth of our grief that insisted we attend to our broken hearts in the privacy of our own home. However, it was very important to our emotional welfare that we be able to set the appropriate boundaries in regard to what we felt was right for us amidst our deep grief.

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People seem to feel very threatened that a part of us dies too when our child dies. We just accept it for what it is, but we strive to find the healthy ways to continue life even as we die…

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Just like experiencing the waves of the ocean, we learn not to be surprised when that wave of grief comes that knocks us flat. Experience teaches us these brutal waves will continue to come and go, and we learn to be thankful for the reprieves.

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It is important to give ourselves permission to do what we need to do in order to survive our grief, then cope with our grief AND at the same time, not put upon ourselves the unnecessary burden of needing to, or trying to, explain ourselves to others.

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Grief is indeed a roller-coaster experience. There are many times we are down in the depths, and thankfully, there begin to be times when we can climb into our child's new reality by Faith, and can rejoice with them that they are set free to live unhindered by this world's troubles. We begin to accept our earthly lives will be full of such roller-coaster experiences and learn to hold on for dear life amidst the steep falls, and smile with exhilaration upon learning to "see" by faith our child's smiles on the Other Side.

All graphics, thanks to ~Death of a Loved one