That Dreaded Question of the Season
My younger son called today from Athens, Georgia (his mommy's hometown) where he is now living. He asked that dreaded question of the season:
"When are we ALL getting together for Christmas???!!!"
Here I was going along getting plenty of exercise, trying to focus on getting better, while trying to avoid the trappings of the season. I had just gone to a gun show with a friend on Sunday, and today I was looking forward to going to the shooting range with Angie. Excuse me, Angie Oakley ~ she's taking an avid interest in shooting, even to the point that she is nailing the bulls-eye without taking 20 minutes to aim first. Anything, to avoid the holiday fervor and do something together that we really enjoy.
Meanwhile the phone rings. When I heard THE question come from my son, I could feel the life begin to leave me.
The thought of getting together, but we're NOT "all" going to be together, nor are we ever going to get to be together this side of Heaven, and here we are, about to accumulate yet another Christmas spent without her ~ was just too much.
I kept it together when I was talking to my son, but as soon as I hung up the phone, I felt the giant whoosh of life leaving my body. Worn out from working out (I've learned that a certain number of minutes of aerobic exercise a day not only helps your body to be healthier (keeping blood pressure down, cholesterol down, etc.) but also helps your traumatized brain to recover from its PTSD damage accumulated because of grief...) I could not recover from the life beginning to leave my body. I was surprisingly stunned at his question. My reaction took me off guard.
Now I find myself thrown into the "get-through" syndrome. I had managed to avoid the "get-through" syndrome, and now I feel like the syndrome has been thrust upon me.
How am I going to "get through" getting with "everyone" when "everyone" is not here...once again?
Pictures, thanks to 123RF.com and FotoSearch.com