Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Wednesday's Woe - To Thine Own Self... Be Cruel...?!

Wednesday's Woe

To Thine Own Self...Be Cruel...?!

...From Dreams to the Living Nightmare

~by Tommy Prince

Is anybody besides me having dreams abut your child? Last night, I did. What a conundrum it throws me into~it's such a joy to see her and to realize (in my dream of course) that


She did NOT get killed."

And so, I tell my child in my dream,

"Everyone thinks you are dead. We've got to get word out to your friends' houses--You didn't die! You are here!"

It seems my subconscious mind in my dreams is being mean to me. What a setup for disaster because at some point, I have to wake up, and then I'm thrown all the way back to square one:

I have to realize all over again, that

My child WAS killed.

She is NOT here.

She will NOT be coming back.

She IS gone...

When I have these dreams, I am no good for days after...

Whoever talks about "controlling" your grief is, Number One, Nuts anyway. But Number Two,

"Oh yeah, what about when your own dreams betray you? What then? What's your easy answer, your 'magic solution' for that?"

What a pounding! And what a trap -- to find that it's my OWN MIND terrorizing me!

Having a dream of my baby girl being here, alive-and-well, just feels like I've been hit with an Emotional Sledgehammer.

Is anybody else having dreams abut your child?

If so, how does it typically impact you?



1 comment:

danielle198890 said...

Hello Angie & Tommy,

Yes, I've had dreams about my Kristin. Many were frightening and graphic in the first year after her passing, since I couldn't save her and she couldn't save herself. In the last few years they have been beautiful and loving, but terribly sad. One in particular that stands out in my mind brings Kristin back to age 3. I was hugging and holding her tightly in a snug bear hug, and recall saying, "I'm never going to let you go!" She was smiling while I kissed her chubby cheeks~ The emotions woven into that dream were of pure joy and happiness. As the reality of a new day of darkness and grief without my Kristin unfolded into consciousness, it was as if I ate spoonfuls of cement for breakfast and the familiar heaviness of a new day was well on it's way.

Blessings & Hugs, Danielle

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