Tuesday's Trust - An Invitation to Visit the Shambles of My Life

Tuesday's Trust

An Invitation to Visit the Shambles of My Life

"How does someone dress to attend the shambles of her life?"

~Weeping

...If I were to send an invitation to visit the shambles of my life...

How many people would take me up on that?

The curiosity seekers, (or as my friend calls them, the "lookie-lous")?

The compassionate's heart is too deeply triggered to visit...

The complacent are too afraid my disaster is contagious...

Let's face it...

I am now a tragic story.

I am now the mother of a dead child.

I am now the mother of a beautiful daughter drawn into the evils of drugs.

(Were boundaries needed, or did boundaries kill?

Who knows? Who will never know till Heaven's Gate...?)

All I know is I loved her.

I did my best.

I prayed through e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I did.

And she knew I loved her.

And she loved me.

And I prayed so hard for her soul.

And her soul remained tender to God.

And I still have no clue what can be done for one hooked by evil drugs – even ones as "tame" as marijuana...

("Tame"?! I think not! Just ask the young man who passed out on the road from the effects of marijuana and his morning prescription of antidepressants in his system, who ran off the road in such a passed-out-state, crashing into a row of hardwood trees that didn't budge even for a 2-ton SUV traveling at 60 miles per hour {his foot never hit the brake as the car was still running and the cruise-control was still on when the rescue workers arrived at the crash}, killing all 3 of his friends including my child, all of whom he had invited to go with him to the beach for his family's reunion... I'll bet he no longer thinks marijuana is a "tame" nor "safe" drug...)

Yes, I do have some peace.

I know she is in my Lord's arms.

I know she is safe. Safe from the Enemy that though he killed her, he was impotent to capture her soul...because she KNEW her Lord, and His Love conquered Satan's evil plans for her death, giving her her life back...eternal life to spend with Him and with all who love Him.

But how does her mother make plans as she enters the shambles of her life?

How does one make a living as her life becomes consumed with her child's dying?

How does one walk through a day knowing the rest of her life will be gray, robbed of the color of her child?

It Can Only Be Done In the Arms Of My Lord Who Promises To Carry Me!

And He does...or else...I couldn't make it.

Thank YOU ~ for coming to visit me and love me...in the shambles of my life!

And it really doesn't matter what you wear, for I think we will only focus on one another's hearts and souls...

Picture: Thanks to @LillyAnn

Quote: Weeping, A Fritillary Quilter Mystery, (2004), p. 36

Wednesday's Woe - "Emotional Leprosy" and Sorrow's "Trail of Tears"

Wednesday's Woe

"Emotional Leprosy"

and

Sorrow's "Trail of Tears"

He said that those who have endured some misfortune will always be set apart but that it is just that misfortune which is their gift and which is their strength.

—Cormac McCarthy (All the Pretty Horses)

"Emotional Leprosy" and Sorrow's "Trail of Tears"

Our friend didn't show today, dear Lord.

Our friend didn't show today.

(One of the few friends I could get "up" for,

As most mem'ries were made pre-kids, or before...)

Is grief too heavy a load to bear,

To witness two friends with their souls stripped bare?

Our friend didn't show today, dear Lord.

Our friend didn't show today.

Do we have "emotional leprosy"?

Are our wounds contagious or ugly to see?

Or perhaps our burdens are too heavy to bear

For one on the upwardly mobile stair.

Our friend didn't show today, dear Lord.

Our friend didn't show today.

Is there NO ONE who can bear our sorrow?

Perhaps he will show tomorrow...

...

...Our friend didn't show today either, Lord.

Our friend didn't show yesterday.

No call. No apology. Like we don't count.

Cast aside, shunned, left to drown in the tears of Grief's lonely fount.

One of the few friends not from Child-Loss Land,

And now, once again, another friendship "canned."

Our friend didn't show today either, Lord.

Our friend didn't show yesterday.

What has happened to our old friends, long gone?

It's like we've stepped from Life itself into the Twilight Zone...

It seems to me the only friends we have now

Are new ones who don't know..., or grievers who our tears, allow.

Our friend didn't show today, Lord...

Another casualty of Death's stark sword.

(To be fair, most of the friendships I have killed off

As I cannot bear the "Get over it!" scoff.)

Grief casts us into the "No-Win Zone"...

It's hard to be a player when you must huddle in the far end-zone!

Please lead our way through lonely and harrowing years

As we're banished from "Land of the Living" onto Sorrow's "Trail of Tears"...

E'en though our friend didn't show today,

You'll ever be our Companion to lighten our way.

And though we may feel like a cast-out tramp,

We know even You Lord (our King of Kings!), were led "outside the camp."*

If You had not gone where You were led, there'd be a diff'rent story...

Because of You, our "Trail of Tears" will lead us into Glory!

May we, though it be through pain, ever go where we are led,

Help us to lean on You, Who will keep our spirits fed.

Our friend didn't show today, dear Lord.

Our friend didn't show yesterday.

But You, our Lord, our Friend of the friendless are here.

And You will be here to catch each and ev'ry tear.

You're here yesterday, today, tomorrow.**

You'll stay with us to help us bear our sorrow!

Who better to have than a Friend acquainted with Grief?***

Only such a Friend can bring us Grief's relief!

*******

* The high priest carries the blood of animals into the Most Holy Place as a sin offering, but the bodies are burned outside the camp. And so Jesus also suffered outside the city gate to make the people holy through His own blood.

Let us, then, go to Him outside the camp, bearing the disgrace He bore. For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the City that is to come.

~Hebrews 13:12-14

**Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

~Hebrews 13:8

*** He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from Him; He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.

~Isaiah 53:3 (King James Version)

Picture thanks to media.photobucket.com/image/colorsplash

Poem - "Emotional Leprosy" and Sorrow's "Trail of Tears" - Angie Bennett Prince - 5/7/10