Friday's Faith - In Child-Loss Grief, What Does Faith Do?

Friday's Faith

In Child-Loss Grief,

What Does Faith Do?

I 

miss 

you 

like crazy. 

My heart is 

shattered

and broken 

into a million tiny pieces and I can't breathe. 

My heart and soul 

aches for just one more moment. 

I miss your smile, I miss your voice. 

My tears are endless...

I ask God, Why, but he didn't answer. 

What is a new normal? I liked it just the way it was. 

Time passes and I know you are not coming back. 

I hear that time heals but I don't believe it does. 

Time cannot heal a broken heart. Nothing can fill this void. 

Memories and tears flood my mind 

and my eyes with every breath I take. 

I am your Mother always and forever. 

I will always hold sweet memories of you 

for as long as I am breathing. You are my Child. 

Grief. What is Grief? Grief is Love. 

I love you to the moon and back and every where in between. 

Some days I find joy amidst all the pain and sorrow. 

Knowing that in my heart, there will be tomorrow. 

My sweet child, I have faith in our God above, 

and I know I will see you again, it's all about that love. 

Until the day we meet again, 

I will hold you close to my heart, 

knowing that one 

sweet day, 

we'll never be apart.

~Wings of Hope-Living Forward

Friday's Faith - Joy in the Mourning...

Friday's Faith

Joy in the Mourning...

Amidst deepest torment, God leads me to meditate as I sit in a warm spa...

Joy in the Mourning...

Frolicking in th' Living Waters with them ~

My laughing Savior and my little girl,

I went from deep sadness to such a fun whim,

Playing in the waters, carried by Him...

He'd lift my feet up, then He'd pull me in~

I'd glance over at her, see her great big grin...

He'd hold me up high, then pull me under,

Her laughter rolled out like peals of thunder.

Thank You for Your gift of sweetest Transport,

Seeing th' joy of my Savior, th' laughter of her...

(Who'd left us for a beach trip that did abort,

Leaving us in sadness of the direst sort...)

I learned tonight You not only bring Joy in the Morning,

But You preciously supply Joy in the Mourning!

Even though death and mourning caught that day without warning,

How nice to see laughter now, my Savior and child adorning!

*****

I will turn their mourning into gladness;

I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

~Jeremiah 31:13b

...In all our troubles my joy knows no bounds...

~2 Corinthians 7:4b

Be joyful in hope...

~Romans 12:12a

Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

~Psalm 30:5

You turned my wailing into dancing;

You removed my sack cloth and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to You and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever.

~Psalm 30:11-12

Picture: http://picturesofjesus4you.com/images/messiah_lars_justinen.jpg

Poem - Joy in the Mourning - Angie Bennett Prince - 10/5/10

Tuesday's Trust - An Invitation to Visit the Shambles of My Life

Tuesday's Trust

An Invitation to Visit the Shambles of My Life

"How does someone dress to attend the shambles of her life?"

~Weeping

...If I were to send an invitation to visit the shambles of my life...

How many people would take me up on that?

The curiosity seekers, (or as my friend calls them, the "lookie-lous")?

The compassionate's heart is too deeply triggered to visit...

The complacent are too afraid my disaster is contagious...

Let's face it...

I am now a tragic story.

I am now the mother of a dead child.

I am now the mother of a beautiful daughter drawn into the evils of drugs.

(Were boundaries needed, or did boundaries kill?

Who knows? Who will never know till Heaven's Gate...?)

All I know is I loved her.

I did my best.

I prayed through e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I did.

And she knew I loved her.

And she loved me.

And I prayed so hard for her soul.

And her soul remained tender to God.

And I still have no clue what can be done for one hooked by evil drugs – even ones as "tame" as marijuana...

("Tame"?! I think not! Just ask the young man who passed out on the road from the effects of marijuana and his morning prescription of antidepressants in his system, who ran off the road in such a passed-out-state, crashing into a row of hardwood trees that didn't budge even for a 2-ton SUV traveling at 60 miles per hour {his foot never hit the brake as the car was still running and the cruise-control was still on when the rescue workers arrived at the crash}, killing all 3 of his friends including my child, all of whom he had invited to go with him to the beach for his family's reunion... I'll bet he no longer thinks marijuana is a "tame" nor "safe" drug...)

Yes, I do have some peace.

I know she is in my Lord's arms.

I know she is safe. Safe from the Enemy that though he killed her, he was impotent to capture her soul...because she KNEW her Lord, and His Love conquered Satan's evil plans for her death, giving her her life back...eternal life to spend with Him and with all who love Him.

But how does her mother make plans as she enters the shambles of her life?

How does one make a living as her life becomes consumed with her child's dying?

How does one walk through a day knowing the rest of her life will be gray, robbed of the color of her child?

It Can Only Be Done In the Arms Of My Lord Who Promises To Carry Me!

And He does...or else...I couldn't make it.

Thank YOU ~ for coming to visit me and love me...in the shambles of my life!

And it really doesn't matter what you wear, for I think we will only focus on one another's hearts and souls...

Picture: Thanks to @LillyAnn

Quote: Weeping, A Fritillary Quilter Mystery, (2004), p. 36

Friday's Faith - Faith Amidst Grief's Traumatizing Distress

Friday's Faith

Faith Amidst Grief's Traumatizing Distress

No sooner had I entered last night's post

Of stress hormones' devastating effects...

Did I encounter the Threatening "Ghost"

Of Danger~just like a "Days-Gone-By-Hex"...

Infiltrating my brain before I knew

The full impact Stress was having on me,

My triggered brain was traumatized anew

As Danger's "results" were all I could see...

Hyper-startled, hyper-vigilant too...

Stress hormones geared my body for Action:

"There's Danger!

Now you know what you must do!"

...No prefrontal logic, just reaction...

And so today, I find myself uptight,

Feeling the Post-Traumatic-Stress at work...

Asking...

"Will Faith get me through this Dark Night

Where fears, triggers, and abreactions lurk...?"

The daffodil does "Growth-Work" underground

As God carefully designed it to do...

But I? I have options to "Run Aground"...

In Grief's Dark Night, my body throws a coup.

Amidst Grief's Dark Night, vile stressors abound...

Will Growth happen?

Will my Faith see me through?

How about you? Most of us had no idea of the many-faceted effects of Child-Loss Grief.

How does the Stress of Grief affect you?

Picture: Thank you to Eva Soulu for her amazing work of art... http://soulu.cgsociety.org/gallery/605247/

Poem - Faith Amidst Grief's Traumatizing Distress - Angie Bennett Prince - 4/9/2010