Happy Birthday in Heaven Merry Katherine!

Happy Birthday in Heaven Merry Katherine!

Your birthday brings back memories

Of laughter and of tears

Of all the celebrations held

Throughout your precious years

As you're now watching over me

I hope that you can see

How much those memories we made

Will always mean to me

I'll always cherish times we had

And smile just at the thought

I hope you know the magnitude

Of joy your life here brought

On holidays and birthdays

It's so hard to be apart

Like every day that falls between

Your memory fills my heart

You're with me now where e'er I go

You're part of all I do

I'll celebrate your special day 

And the gift of knowing you

Happy Birthday, precious (((((Merry Katherine)))))! 

Though you are forever 19 and forever held in our Father's arms, we hold you so close in our hearts on what today would have been your 29th birthday here on earth. 

We love and miss you today and everyday and will for the rest of our lives and forever after that! 

Love to you from 

Mommy, Daddy, Rollin, Stephanie, Nathan, and Ashley heart emoticon
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With thanks to
(Card lyrics written by ~kp)
Out of the Ashes / FB

Friday's Faith - My Visit

Friday's Faith

My Visit

Tommy and I were blessed to have our brand new (almost 7-months old now!) grandbaby "Ellie" ("Merry Ellie," named after Merry Katherine) stay with us for about five hours yesterday afternoon while Rollin and Stephanie went to the doctor. They met the radiologist who will do Rollin's radiation therapy (he will have 2 rounds of daily 4-week radiation treatments coming up for him as a preventative measure to ward off potential cancer cells) since he had his testicular cancer removed almost 2 months ago). Please pray!

Our time with Ellie was very sweet, as usual. And ~as usual~ I got triggered back to my own baby girl, Merry Katherine. . .

Ellie enjoys trying out new noises, so I decided to sing to her. Tommy and I were sitting outside on our patio with her, all three of us swinging on our glider. The wind was blowing steadily through the trees, so automatically, out of my mouth flew the song,

"Hear the wind blow dear;

Hear the wind blow.

Angels in heaven hear the wind blow."

And immediately the tears began to flow down my cheeks (even as they flow now) as I pictured these angels being in Heaven next to Merry Katherine . . .

But almost as soon as the tears came, I "felt" Merry Katherine say,

"I'm right here Mommy!"

quickly reminding me she hovers near, so much closer than I tend to think. I smiled and was comforted, but the tears still flowed.

All this time, Ellie is cooing along with me, also bringing me joy amidst my sorrow. Tommy ran and got me some tissues so I could wipe my eyes and nose. Then I read to Ellie from one of Merry Katherine's tiny little childhood books while Ellie "turned" the pages for me. (Tears are still rolling down my cheek as I write.)

It has been a tough week with clients in crisis. How sweet that on my day off, God let me enjoy my visit with my two favorite girls in all the world . . . Merry, and Merry Ellie ~ God is good. Grief is still so hard, but my baby girl is okay, and she is nearby, smiling even as I cry. Yes, God is good.

Pictures, mine

Tuesday's Trust - Thankful Amidst Death's Darkness… - 10 Things for Which We Are Thankful Amidst Child-Loss

Tuesday's Trust

Thankful Amidst Death's Darkness…

10 Things for Which We Are Thankful Amidst Child-Loss

• We are thankful that injuries and illnesses developed from our Post-Traumatic Stress of Child-Loss Grief and Trauma are ones that could be resolved, cured, or repaired.

• We are thankful we now know what is important in life, for Child-Loss can bring great clarity of mind, soul, and spirit.

• We are thankful we do not have to be around toxic family or friends anymore, and we can have peace and quiet when we need it.

• We are thankful we've been given "a pass" in regard to what is culturally expected of us, like… not going out shopping for the holidays, not having to make all the rounds for the holiday get-togethers, but rather, being able to have our own values and priorities played out on the very sacred meaning of our holidays.

• We are thankful that when we see grief taking a toll on either one of us or our children, in whatever of its unique manifestations, that we recognize it, acknowledge it, and lovingly support one another in our unique grief processes.

• We are thankful for the kindnesses of those family, friends, and neighbors who do "get it" in regard to our grief, and show us their love in small, yet meaningful ways.

• We are thankful for many new bonds we have formed with grieving parents, whether in person or on the internet. We are thankful for the people who come to read our blog every day, and for the feedback we have received from some, sharing their responsiveness to our words borne out of our pain.

• We are thankful for the love we have for one another that has sustained us through this tumultuous grief journey.

• We are thankful for the love of God that has been a constant source of encouragement, comfort, and understanding in this travel through the Dark Night when the very next step in front of us cannot be seen nor fathomed.

• We are thankful that we know our baby girl is in Heaven, in the care of our Loving Lord, and that we will indeed be with her again Some Day.

Picture, thanks to http://www.123rf.com/photo_the_sun-shining-through-a-large-tree-and-down-upon-water.html