Showing posts with label Struggling in Our Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Struggling in Our Faith. Show all posts

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Sunday's Sorrow - The Weeping of a Child-Loss Soul







Sunday's Sorrow

The Weeping of a Child-Loss Soul










Does lead transmute to gold? 
With God's help, can this grieving heart be made whole?


When my child died,
I was left with a broken heart
How could I abide
Such heinous news
That from this earthly life, she forever would depart?
It defies all this mother stands for, and all my heart imbues.


The hail of death fell
Upon my body, heart, soul, and spirit
No comfort could quell
This mother's broken spirit.


My heart split into a million pieces
As from this mother's hell
I'd never be granted any releases;
Over the months and years, deeper into despair's pit I fell...


Even the Bible had laid out 
what I had in store:

This is what the LORD says,

"A voice is heard in Ramah, 
mourning and great weeping, 
Rachel weeping for her children 
and refusing to be comforted, 
because they are no more."


Into a megaphone, to me, Death's demons would roar, 
"Where was your God in Heaven
when hell's wrath upon your child did pour?"


My God whose heart toward me ever had been full of love
Seemed to have abandoned His throne from His own Heaven above
For the God of love I knew,
From death, my child, surely would rescue!


It seemed every promise in His word I had ever read
Would surely not have left my helpless child dead!


Now my soul was hurling into an ever sure demise
As I would feel no release coming from Heaven's skies.
I remembered God's whole earth had been struck dark
When His own Son from it's torturous shores would depart.


How ever would I find any relief this side of Heaven
As for this mother's grief there seemed to be no relieving leaven? 


How did my Heavenly Father from Death's destruction recover
As He watched through earth's darkness as His own Child's breath was smothered?

Why did He not destroy all of His created earth
At such infamous culmination of His own Holy Child's birth?


Despite His untold agony as He looked down from Glory
Surely our God survived by knowing the Rest of the Story...
That His Own Son would leave earth's shores to rejoin with Him in Glory…!


Perhaps therein I'll find the Grace I daily ever will need
To begin to quell this broken heart from its constant grievous bleed… 


Surely when the Golden Grace of God imparts into a shattered human heart
There is a glorious transmutation that occurs to quicken His own Life into my broken heart
To help a mother on this earth her own child's death to survive…


Even as man transmutes gold from lead,
Our God quickens my child's life so that her Spirit now survives 
Even though she too, like God's own Son, once was deemed dead,
Through God's Glorious Grace, she now  has been made Alive!



By God's Grace, while still on this earth, this mother's broken heart survives…
And I too someday will live again and see that my child thrives!







God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

~Psalm 147:3




Poem - The Weeping of a Child-Loss Soul - Angie Bennett Prince - January 4, 2015




Scripture quoted in poem:

New International Version
"A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."

~Matthew 2:18 NIV

New International Version
This is what the LORD says: "A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."

~Jeremiah 31:15 NIV





1st Graphic:

~Artwork by Mark Lawrence based on Psalm 147:3:
http://www.framedcanvasart.com/product/brokenhearted-psalm-14732.html 

Also found at bing.com:

 http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=psalm+147%3A3+graphics&go=Submit&qs=bs&form=QBIR#view=detail&id=33967045EC5D1C99F71A1D64D8F602D4A906912D&selectedIndex=64



2nd Graphic:

Artwork by Karen Holland based on Psalm 147:3


He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds curing their pains and their sorrows. Psalm 147:3

Found on




Thursday, August 26, 2010

Friday's Faith - In the Process of Forgiving...





Friday's Faith


In the Process of Forgiving...





Remembering back to a couple of posts about my frustrations with some of the people in Merry Katherine's life, I know that I promised you a follow up. I wanted to let you know where I am in that forgiveness process...


But first, here are the excerpts in which I first talked about my dilemma about the people in her life who I felt might have been an influence for the good -- if they hadn't been so full of themselves... (I frustratingly called them the "'so-called' Christians who thought they had no problems.")




From


WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23, 2010

Wednesday's Woe - Weighted Down By the If-Only's...



(Excerpt)


...Make her change her friends?



At the time, I could understand her choice of friends - they certainly didn't seem to be out-and-out criminals: They were risk-takers like her; they were physically-active, vivacious, fun people!


The people I had thought were "nice" people turned out to be stuck-up twits, in love with their own self-righteousness. She could smell that pretension miles away (and if that's who they really were, I'm glad for her discernment). And now, after her dabbling into m.a.r.i.j.u.a.n.a? They would certainly think they were "better" than her...





I can just hear a little self-righteous, pompous twit, with a hidden sin like say, an addictive eating disorder (i.e., NONE of us is perfect!), justifying herself to herself:



Marijuana?! Why, that's unacceptable! But my hidden eating disorder... No one knows, so it doesn't count. I can still hang with the self-righteous. I might even have a chance of being a LEADER of the self-righteous since I don't have a shadow-side to speak of...




...justifies the addicted, eating-disordered Pharisee to herself...








If that's who they really were...unloving Pharisees (Or was this the rationalization of a child already headed toward addictive, "stinking" thinking?),


I wouldn't have wanted to be friends with them either...


So really, we couldn't win...







Real kids with real problems OR "so-called" Christians who thought they had no problems (i.e., Pharisees who'd say,"Lord, thank you that I am not like that despicable sinner over there...") —



Even Jesus was disgusted with the latter and sought out the former.




He made it clear that living by the "letter of the law" within our own power is deadly. Legalism kills... (It certainly does, spiritually-speaking, which, in my opinion, is THE most important aspect of our lives, more important to our Savior than earthly life itself...)





And yet, it was a No-Win situation.





She was repulsed by the


unloving-folks-who-"called"-themselves-Christians, but-who-detested-the-very-people-she-cared-about, her "Jesus-on-the-street."






And yet, her choice to hang out with this other kind of friend was what ultimately...killed her...







From


FRIDAY, JULY 9, 2010

Friday's Faith - "Princess of Quite-A-Lot" Prays...



(Excerpt)




Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.



(even those little "twit" Pharisees that I wrote about on a recent Wednesday's Woe? I'll write more on that later...)




*****


Okay, here is the "later"...






In the Process of Forgiving...




If you were to ask me,

Of the people who were in Merry Katherine's life during her teenage years,

With whom are you more angry...

The Drugged One who stole her life...

Or the Unloving Evangelical Pharisees who tormented her soul?


I'm afraid to say...but right now...


I am more angry with...

The Unloving Evangelical Pharisees,

for if they had any glance of God,

THEY should have known better!


Instead, they were so full of themselves,

there was no room for God to shine through...



Aaagh! And if she needed to find friends,

they sure wouldn't be the ones she would pick...


So right now...in my mind...

the Self-Righteous, Unloving Evangelical Pharisees

They are the biggest twits out there.



And I am furious. furious. furious.

And yet God, You revealed Yourself

to her anyway. (I cry with gratitude as I write this!)

And she knew You.

She loved You. You embraced her.



So why can't I let it go?

Help me to forgive. And then,

Will I ever forget?



But then, even our Lord was f.u.r.i.o.u.s.

at the moneychangers in His Father's

temple who were selling their own

wares for their own gain instead

of lifting eyes up to the

Living Lord, the Only God who could save His people...

Even HE was angry

And for good reason...



I will pray for the Pharisees:


Lord, please save them from themselves,

and stop them from their selfish pride.

Show them Yourself, and surely they will

throw their selfish pride down at the foot of Your cross,

and fall to their knees,

and beg You for forgiveness...



Forgive us all Lord.

No matter the form of our sin,

"We ALL like sheep have gone astray,

each of us has turned to his own way,

and the Lord has laid on Him

the i.n.i.q.u.i.t.y if us all." ~Isaiah 53:6



He forgave...even a sinner like me.

The least I can do is forgive those

who sin against me...

and against my baby...

who would remind me

She was a sinner too, in need of Your grace,

And You showered it so freely on her.


Thank You God for Your love.

May You pour Your love through me.

Thank You that You shower

Your love, Your grace, Your forgiveness

on me even now.



Although as a group, the Pharisees repulse me,

when I think of the precious individuals

who are so blinded by their own magnificence,

I can pray, "Father, forgive them, for they

know not what they do."











Image: http://www.biblical-art.com/artwork.asp?id_artwork=31746&showmode=Full



Monday, December 28, 2009

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Shifting Sand






Monday's Mourning Ministry

Shifting Sand



In Merry Katherine's early high school years of her journey of faith, her older brother Rollin (five years older than she) introduced her to this Christian band whom she grew to love. Their songs are very realistic about the struggles as we stumble and fall and learn to get back up, learning more and more our need for complete dependence on the Lord to help us walk.

This song "Shifting Sand" was one of her favorites as it captures that very tenuous walk and our desperate need for God's grace, or we will never make it. This same singing group ministered to her in her latter teenage years of struggle as well. I am sure I will share more about Caedmon's Call's amazing role in influencing her life in later posts. So I want to share with you today


Caedmon's Call - Shifting Sand







Caedmon's Call

Shifting Sand


Songwriters: Tate, Aaron


lyrics


Sometimes I believe all the lies

So I can do the things I should despise

And every day I am swayed

By whatever is on my mind


I hear it all depends on my faith

So I'm feeling precarious

The only problem I have with these mysteries

Is they're so mysterious


And like a consumer I've been thinking

If I could just get a bit more

More than my 15 minutes of faith,

Then I'd be secure


(Chorus)

My faith is like shifting sand

Changed by every wave

My faith is like shifting sand

So I stand on grace


I've begged you for some proof

For my Thomas eyes to see

A slithering staff, a leprous hand

And lions resting lazily


A glimpse of your back-side glory

And this soaked altar going ablaze

But you know I've seen so much

I explained it away


Chorus

My faith is like shifting sand

Changed by every wave

My faith is like shifting sand

So I stand on grace


Waters rose as my doubts reigned

My sand-castle faith, it slipped away

Found myself standing on your grace

It'd been there all the time


(Chorus repeated)

My faith is like shifting sand

Changed by every wave

My faith is like shifting sand

So I stand on grace





May God hold us grieving parents close to His side as we too walk this very difficult terrain of Shifting Sand in our "walk-of-faith" through the Valley of the Shadow of Death,