Friday's Faith / Saturday's Sayings - When Terror Strikes

Friday's Faith /

Saturday's Sayings

When Terror Strikes...

♥~ Mary's agony over her Son brings the immense sorrow home! ~♥

When my child is gone, how do I go on living? My heart is pierced, and is ever in a compromised state. 

So when more terror of potential loss threatens, I can hardly function...

~~~~~

No one ever told me grief was so much like fear.

~C.S. Lewis

So much of the time, I feel fear... How am I to do this "new normal" anyway? Nothing seems normal about any of this... I feel I am barely functioning as it is...

And then, when more is added to my plate... something that is potentially life-threatening to yet another person that I love, it very easily becomes too much, and my system hits Tilt. Fear and terror quickly overcome my already compromised state of being.

~~~~~

Maybe terror and dread, once experienced, embed themselves into you even when the cause has gone, leaving behind a sleeping horror, which is too easily awakened. 

~Rosamund Lupton, Sister:A Novel 

~~~~~

"Experience: the most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God, do you learn."

~C. S. Lewis

~~~~~

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

~Isaiah 41:13 (New International Version)

~~~~~

I read God's Word; I am comforted by the thought that He will help me. And yet, another "time" comes to mind, a time when I was confident that He would help me, yet... He didn't... or, so it seemed to me at the time, as my child's life was suddenly and violently taken... So unconsciously when I read this Scripture, I think, 

"That Scripture is so nice... so comforting... for other people, but it doesn't apply to me."

I am shocked by my own state of disillusionment that I would think that I am exempt from His love and grace that comes alongside and delivers us from Evil; that is when I realize my trust must be so  damaged from the Loss of my Child. (I know it is my problem, in perception, not His, but still I am troubled that I do not still have the confidence in Him that I once had...) {I weep as I write this.}

~~~~~

I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

~Psalm 34:4 (English Standard Version)

Yes, but I must seek Him everyday, for everyday brings a new set of fears, trials, burdens that I cannot bear alone. And He is the answer to all of them, for He never said I could do this alone, rather He said through the apostle Paul, "I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME."

~~~~~

In all our afflictions He is afflicted,

…and the angel of His presence saves us;

in His love and pity He redeems;

…He lifts us up and carries us all our days.

~Isaiah 63:9

He bears our griefs

…and carries our sorrows;

by His wounds we are healed.

~Isaiah 53:4, 5

~~~~~

So, sometimes, when more horror hits, like it is right now, instead of drawing closer to the Lord and feeling close to Him, the horror fills my soul, and I feel dropped. As if He has abandoned me, or how else could this devastating turn of events be happening???

~~~~~

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

~Isaiah 54:10 (New International Version)

~~~~~

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

~Psalm 34:18 (English Standard Version)

~~~~~

God simply awaits me to call out to Him, or better yet amidst this horror, to cry out to Him, and He so faithfully draws near, pulls me in close to His heart, and my tears begin to flow... 

Some relief is sure to follow, for I feel His presence and His loving comfort holding me up when I would otherwise be thrown to the ground in despair.

It seems when I finally engage Him in my sense of disillusionment, and my overwhelming fear, as I open up to Him, He comes to me... 

~~~~~

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted…" 

~Isaiah 66:13

And despite my fears, He is able to comfort me and let me know He is still here for me, even though there is so much I still do not understand. I feel His presence and know I must turn to Him constantly as I am so weak, and so shaken. It is a constant battle when I feel under this "spiritual attack," for lack of better words. Even though I do not understand with my mind, I am thankful that I do feel His presence in my heart, and that comfort is able to overwhelm the terror, at least for a time. 

And tomorrow...? I will undoubtedly need to start this process all over again as I am so fragile and shaken with this terror in the wings...

Graphics/Pictures:
Thanks to, ~Dee Flores of ~Christian Pictures in Pinterest, Graphics #1, #2,
Thanks to ~CS Lewis Quotes (from "A Grief Observed") in Pinterest, Graphic #3
Thanks to my ~Child-Loss Grief and Trauma on pinterest, courtesty of @Pinstamatic (pinstamatic.com), Graphic #4
Thanks to ~meggiel/signs-words-etc on pinterest, Graphic #5
Thanks to ~Dee Flores of ~Christian Pictures in Pinterest for Isaiah 41:13 in Graphic #6, for Psalm 34:4 in Graphic #7, Isaiah 54:10 in Graphic #8, Psalm 34:18 in Graphic #9, and Isaiah 66:13 in Graphic #10.

Monday's Mourning Ministry - On the Late Massacre in Alabama on 8/2/2006 - Victory ~Yolanda Adams

Monday's Mourning Ministry

On the Late Massacre in Alabama on 8/2/2006

~

Victory

~Yolanda Adams

Warning: The following poem is of a graphic nature, so it may trigger some of you. Please read at your own discretion. Thank you.

On the Late Massacre in Alabama on 8/2/2006

Avenge, O Lord, Thy slaughtered saints, whose bones

Laid scattered on the bank of Fort Payne, cold;

Even them who loved my Lord, so sweet consoled,

When man'y others worshiped egos 'nd thrones,

Forget not: in Thy Book record their groans

Who were Thy sheep, and in that highway fold

Slain by impaired driver's 'scapt Tahoe, full tilt unscrolled

Child with friends down to ground. Their moans

The vales redoubled to the hills, and they

To heaven. Their sacred blood and ashes sow

O'er hallowed Fort Payne bank, where still doth sway

The terrible Tyrant; that from these may grow

A hundredfold, who, having learnt Thy way,

Early may flee the Vile One's devious woe.

*****

Tommy and I first visited the fatal crash site at Fort Payne, Alabama in December of 2006. Even though our visit was 4 months after Merry Katherine's death, we experienced several graces of God while we were there. As we each wandered around the crash site, we found sweet reminders of our child that actually brought smiles to our faces. For instance, we could just picture Merry Katherine scrounging around in our pantry before her trip and taking a box of "South Beach" candy bars with her as we began to find several empty "South Beach" wrappers. We could just imagine that after she and her friends stopped for supper at Kentucky Fried Chicken, that she had a candy bar for dessert and then passed out the candy bars to all of her friends. There were several other personal items that we found that made us feel so close to her. These were all wonderful graces of God as what could have been a terrifying process turned out to be a sweet connection with our baby.

The next visit to the crash site was in December of 2007. Our family (Tommy, Rollin, Nathan, and I) was "escaping" from home for the Christmas holidays and going to the beach in Destin, Florida. Merry Katherine's crash site was enroute to Destin, so we decided to show our sons, her brothers, the site.

This time however, as we began going through the towns before reaching the area, terror began seeping in bit by bit.

Tommy and I had enjoyed watching the dvd "The Gospel" and had bought the soundtrack to it, and thankfully we had the c.d. with us. Tommy wisely slipped in the c.d. and played the following very inspired song by Yolanda Adams, full of the vital truths from the Bible that remind us,

Death is not all there is,

because for her and for us . . .

"He died but He rose on the third day,"

and

"That's why (for her and for us, we) have true victory everyday!"

Tommy turned the stereo up as loud as it would go, and put it on repeat so that we would hear it over and over and over, so for the next twenty or so minutes, we sang the words of faith along with Yolanda, giving us the courage to face the depths of pain that would be coming with viewing this fatal crash site again. God once again provided what we needed in giving us this boost for our faith, so this song has held great meaning for us ever since amidst this journey through our deepest grief.

*****

Victory

~Yolanda Adams

[Chorus]

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, Yes I do!

He is our mighty Conquerer,

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight.

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus.

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That’s why I have true victory everyday!

[Verse 1]

Truly I've been through the storm and rain.

I know everything about heartache and pain.

But God carried me through it all

Without His protection I'd surely fall.

I’ve been broke without a dime to my name.

But all my bills got paid ‘cause I called on Jesus name.

You can't tell me that God isnt real 'cause

I've got the victory and that's why I’m still here.

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, Yes I do!

He is our mighty Conquerer,

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight.

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus.

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That’s why I have true victory everyday!

[Verse 2]

I'm not worried about material things I don't have

I just rest cause I’m sure in my Savior’s care

Because I know my blessing is on the way

I can't see it right now but I stand by faith.

I've fought many, many battles in His name

I held up the blood-stained banner and proclaimed

That Jesus is the truth and the light:

Believe me when I say He will make it all right!

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, Yes I do!

He is our mighty Conquerer,

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight.

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus.

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That’s why I have true victory everyday!

[Bridge]

Yeah I got the victory yeah

I got the victory yeah yeah yeah

[And if you have the victory sing along with me]

Yeah I got the victory yeah

I got the victory

Yeah yeah yeah

[And if you've got the victory

Sing along with me]

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, Yes I do!

He is our mighty Conquerer,

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight.

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus.

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That’s why I have true victory everyday!

Oh Yeah, I got the victory yeah

Yeah, I got the victory yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, Yeah

Whoa-oh-oh-oh yeah

I got the victory yeah

I got the victory yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Sing along with me

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus, Yes I do!

He is our mighty Conquerer,

In Him I will trust, all my battles He'll fight.

I've got, got the victory

I've got the sweet, sweet victory in Jesus.

For me He died but He rose on the third day

That’s why I have true victory everyday!

That's why I have true victory!

Picture - St. Etienne de Bulogne / cross on the side of the road

Poem - On the Late Massacre in Alabama on 8/2/2006 - 12/17/08 as

inspired by John Milton's "On the Late Massacre in Piedmont" (See poem below)

Video of Yolanda Adams in "Victory" - http://youtu.be/B3mINTjVyEw

John Milton (1608-74)

On the Late Massacre in Piedmont

Avenge, O Lord, thy slaughtered saints, whose bones

Lie scattered on the Alpine mountains cold;

Even them who kept thy truth so pure of old,

When all our fathers worshiped stocks and stones,

Forget not: in thy book record their groans

Who were thy sheep, and in their ancient fold

Slain by the bloody Piedmontese, that rolled

Mother with infant down the rocks. Their moans

The vales redoubled to the hills, and they

To heaven. Their martyred blood and ashes sow

O'er all the Italian fields, where still doth sway

The triple Tyrant; that from these may grow

A hundredfold, who, having learnt thy way,

Early may fly the Babylonian woe.