Showing posts with label When Friends/Family Become Strangers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label When Friends/Family Become Strangers. Show all posts

Friday, June 7, 2013

Friday's Faith - What Is Exposed In Grief's "Perfect Storm"?








Friday's Faith

What Is Exposed In Grief's "Perfect Storm"?








Love is revealed by actions! People can SAY they love you, but if you look at their actions, you see the harsh contrast and say to yourself, "Yes I hear the words, but how was I treated?

Looking back, we've had discussions of this bizarre phenomenon because of interactions with different family members since the death of our beloved child. Yes, certain family members can say they love us off and on all day long; they can "say" it verbally, but their actions reveal a cruelty beyond belief! Because our love for them is so deep, it stabs us very deeply. While we are at our most vulnerable, they pierce the knife straight through our hearts with their unthinkable cruelty shown in their vilest of actions. 

     It's like a perfect storm is created: We are trying to survive and are barely functioning, but they treat us with a deprecating attitude of, "There's nothing wrong with you!" (when there's going to be something wrong with us for the rest of our lives…!)

So at our weakest, they seem to become threatened by such weakness and literally want to kill us. Like a predator smelling blood by sensing the weakness exposed from the depth of our love for our child that has been cut off at the knees, these predators seem to come roaring out of the pit of hell into the sacred halls of our love for our lost child, and spew the fiery venom of their hate and disgust that burns even deeper holes into our already death-accosted hearts.

It is as if they look at everything we do or cannot do through their own self-serving lens and deprecate us with their most degrading aspersions against our character.


It's as if the deep love for our deceased child in all its purity and depth of heart and soul serves as a beautiful white backdrop that easily exposes the contrasting tarry black hatred that spirals up out of the pit of their dark souls. 

We've never seen anything like it. Some family members come through in the most loving ways we could EVER have imagined while other family members seem compelled to show the BLACKNESS of their hearts that we NEVER even realized had been there, at least to the depths that we now see.

One of the supposed advantages of doing counseling from a Christian perspective is that we know what "normal" is. The beauty of Christianity is that you know what "Love" is. The Bible gives you the exact definition of what "love" is. 

This is what love is. 

This is what love looks like. We are actually told what love looks like. 

But when we look at certain members of our families, in this perfect storm of our vulnerability and their most daring blatant show of hostility and sold-out narcissism, we can exclaim to ourselves, 

"And This is what LOVE is NOT!!!



~~~~~





1 Corinthians 13
New King James Version (NKJV)

The Greatest Gift

13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.


13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.


~~~



13 
And so faith, hope, love abide 
[faithconviction and belief respecting man's relation to God and divine things;
hopejoyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation;
lovetrue affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us]
these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13, Amplified Version











Graphics, thanks to ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, ~Hers to Treasure, and ~Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

Friday, April 12, 2013

Friday's Faith - To the Naysayers of Our Grief ~Angie and Tommy Prince






Friday's Faith

To the Naysayers of Our Grief

~Angie and Tommy Prince





We won't "get over it";
We won't "move on"!
So, please get over it;
Stop droning on!

You just don't know
What Child-Loss is;
(Hopefully) you'll never know,
So just stay out of our biz!

There's no "getting over it"
There's just walking it through.
There's no "moving on";
There's just facing it daily, alone!

If you have any compassion for us,
You may share your heart;
Otherwise, don't come near us,
Or you'll burden our already-broken heart.

God is tender, God is kind;
He faithfully ministers to my broken heart.
Be thankful I put my faith in the only One
Who keeps me from tearing you apart...!


~~~





"There are just no words...no words at all that can express what it feels like when your child leaves this earth. It is an all consuming, overwhelming feeling that doesn't go away--Ever."

~Grieving Mother, Jill Compton

Poem - To the Naysayers of Our Grief - Angie and Tommy Prince - 4/12/2013









Top Picture, thanks to ~Remembering Loved Ones
Bottom Picture, Thanks to grieving Mother, Jill Compton via ~Angels at My Door

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Wednesday's Woe - Misfits





Wednesday's Woe


Misfits


~Tommy and Angie Prince






Are you starting to feel like a Misfit in your child-loss-grief world? We are. Our child was killed. So, for example:


We now KNOW the world is not a safe place.


We cannot go to the store, mow the grass, even walk around the neighborhood without a gun in our pockets! We KNOW the world is not safe.


And on top of that, in our Traumatic Grief, we know our brains have been damaged by the severe stress of the past five years.


(No, no one else knows it, but we know it. Our lives have been traumatized, and our psyche is changed. You may not be able to see it, but we FEEL it.) So we know now, as normal as we might look, we still are going to be Misfits in many ways.



Now being a Misfit is not all bad. We now know what is important.


For instance, my family-of-origin is all fighting over 50-year-old furniture in my parents' house, to the point they refused to give me the key to my parents' house to spend the night this weekend (even though I live 250 miles away) because they can't find a few towels and a Bible! But they had already said we could spend the night the week before, and were too chicken to notify us their plans had changed. All over a couple of missing items...


Seriously, this happened! And these people are not poor people. They live in country club settings, and some of them right now, this very minute, are walking the streets of Italy on a vacation, one of whom is the one who had me locked out. So, they're away in Italy, but they sent their underling to ban us from my own parents' house where I lived since I was in second grade. It beats all I've ever seen; they don't need a stick of furniture in this house, but they sure don't want me to have anything either! (As if I want it, with that attitude coming at me!)


But I am so thankful; I KNOW what is important, and fighting over fifty-year old furniture is NOT, in my book anyway. What is important to me is my parents loved me, immensely, and never would have locked me out of their house. And that love will carry me the rest of my life, not their furniture.



Now, let any of us Misfits walk into a church… We are in intensive-care spiritually. We need God like we've never needed God; but we need Him intensively. Do you think we are going to get God intensively in a church of today?


Not in any that I have seen lately. If I were to hear any more nationalism in a Sunday School class or in a sermon, I think I literally would scream.



They are touting a platitudinal gospel that if you follow all these rules, God HAS to protect you and your family.



Do you think I belong there? Absolutely not.


I know my God loves me. I know my God loves my child.


I know my child was killed, so we will NOT always be protected in this fallen world; don't tell me otherwise.


But I also know my God is holding my child this very moment, and that is more important than anything else in the world to me right now.



The world is living out a mantra of "Blessed are those who are prosperous." (I think my family has fallen for that one unfortunately.)


God says, "Blessed are those who mourn." God is WITH us in our suffering; it is the sweetest visitation one can have to have the Loving, Living Lord put His arms around us as we weep.
He ministers to the weak and destitute. He ministers to the broken-hearted. And as broken-hearted as I am, I have a peace inside that others might pay fortunes for. For "blessed are those who mourn."



Some in the church would say (or insinuate): "Get over it. Come back to church." You can't! Your belief system has been challenged, if not ripped to shreds over your terrible loss. No fault of God's mind you; He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. But the faulty beliefs that somehow fell into our belief system have thrown us for a loop and forced us to re-examine everything, held up to the Light of God's Truth this time. And that takes work, WORK, Work.


Don't tell me to "Get over it"; you have no idea what child-loss-grief-and-trauma requires me to work through. You are cruel if you put YOUR agenda of "move-on-ness" on me, when I have SO MUCH to grapple with and work through.



In a book Tommy and I were reading last week, the pastor said two women came to church one Sunday to testify:


One said my child was in a terrible car crash this weekend, but God was there; my child was saved.


The other woman said, my child was in the car crash too, but she was killed; where was God?


Now, that is real life.




Tommy says,

"I am traumatized over what I can and cannot pray about anymore.


"I prayed for God to keep my child safe; she was killed. I am almost afraid to pray now for anything other than comfort."


That confusion has to be walked out, worked out before the Living, Loving Lord, not in a church building hearing platitudinal talk bantered around.




We have real life crises to walk through, including this crisis of faith… Somehow we had thought we would be protected, almost like being in an exclusive club, but now our insides know something different. This is the "Spiritual New Normal."


If a church member says "You should move on, and be over this by now," why would I want to go back there? It would be just like an abused person; why would you want to go back into that family?!



You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free. We know the truth. We are all going to die some day. The others are whistling by the grave yard, thinking they'll live forever, and fighting over fifty-year old furniture that they may not be able to enjoy but for the next year or two. So, I ask you, what is really important? I think we child-loss grievers have a better clue than most anyone else. Perhaps being a Misfit ain't so bad after all.










Picture: thanks to FotoSearch.com

Monday, September 26, 2011

Monday's Mourning Ministry - I'm With You ~Nichole Noordeman and Amy Grant




Monday's Mourning Ministry


I'm With You


~Nichole Noordeman and Amy Grant







I’m With You


~Nichole Nordeman & Amy Grant


Love is a hurricane in a blue sky
I didn’t see it coming, never knew why
All the laughter and the dreams
All the memories in between
Washed away in a steady stream

Love is a hunger; a famine in your soul
I thought I planted beauty, but it would never grow.
Now I’m on my hands and knees
trying to gather up my dreams
trying to hold on to anything

And we could shake a fist in times like this
When we don’t understand
Or we could just hold hands

You and me, me and you
Where you go I’ll go too
I’m with you, I’m with you
Until your heart, finds a home
I won’t let you feel alone
I’m with you, I’m with you, with you

You do your best to build a higher wall
To keep love safe from any wrecking ball
When the dust has cleared, we will
See the house that Love rebuilds
Guarding beauty that lives here still

It’s you and me, me and you
Where you go I’ll go too
I’m with you, I’m with you.
Until your heart, finds a home
I won’t let you feel alone
I’m with you, I’m with you.

Who can say I’m left with nothing
When I have all of you, all of you, yeah?
In the way you’ve always loved me,
I remember: He does too!

It's you and me, me and you
Where you go I’ll go too
I’m with you, I’m with you.
Until your heart, finds a home,
I won’t let you feel alone;
I’m with you, I’m with you.
(We’re gonna make it through)

You and me, me and you
Where you go I’ll go too
I’m with you, I’m with you.
Until your heart, finds a home
I won’t let you feel alone
I’m with you, I’m with you,

With you.












Picture: thanks to Photobucket.com

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=K7WPPLNX