Saturday's Sayings - This Thing Called Child-Loss Grief...

Dear Friend,

Today you broke my heart,

In a place that was unbroken.

You did it with your thoughtless words

That should not have been spoken.

You know that I am grieving,

That my pain is deep and real.

Your hurtful words pierced like a knife.

How do you think I feel?

You may not suffer from my loss

Or share this lonely grief,

But, I'm mourning my baby

Whose life was much too brief.

I'm sure you don't know how I feel,

I don't expect you to.

Don't ask me to get over it…

That's something I can't do.

Without grief, there's no healing

It's a journey I must make.

It's not the path that I would choose,

but one I'm forced to take.

No matter how you choose to see

What I am going through,

I need compassion and support…

I'd do the same for you.

Gwen Flowers

Saturday's Sayings

This Thing Called Child-Loss Grief. . .

After the funeral and all the friends leave. When all
the errands are done, and thank you cards
mailed. When the phone calls cease, and warm 
casseroles stop coming. That is when this heart
breaking journey we call grief begins . .

~Angie Cartwright

~Grief The Unspoken

~~~~~

I can wipe the tears
from my eyes, but
I can't wipe the pain
from my heart . . .

~Grieving mother, Kathy Martibello- Stieff, sharing ~Wings of Hope-Living Forward

~~~~~

Time does not heal. But healing does take time. Give yourself the gift of time. To become whole means that as we open to the pain, we open to the loss. We break open and, as a consequence, we get bigger and include more of life. We include what would have been “lost” to us if our hearts and minds had closed against the pain, we include what would have been lost if we had not taken the time to heal.

As singer/songwriter Carly Simon tells us: “There’s more room in a broken heart.”

~Wings of Hope~Living Forward

~~~~~

~I Miss Those Close to Me Who Are Now I Heaven As Beautiful Angels

~~~~~

~In Memory of Lost Loved Ones

~~~~~~

There is a pain in my heart
Which was never there
Now that you are gone
I find the pain filling your absence.

~Ce Thibodeau 

~~~~~

I Was With You

I was with you as you cried last night, so much for counting sheep.

Your thoughts were running rampant, it was hard for you to sleep.

I knew you were missing me and wishing I was there.

You laid awake all night thinking of the memories we shared.

I watched as you tried to eat lunch. You couldn't even drink your tea.

You were thinking of all the things you wish you'd said to me.

I wanted to say, "Don't worry. Seriously, it's ok.

"I know every word you would say to me if we had another day."

I was with you when you visited my grave today.

I heard you cry out to God, "Why did you take him away?"

As hard as you try, you can't figure out why it had to be me.

Your mind is so scrambled, but someday you will see.

You will know why this happened, the reason I had to leave.

You will understand it all in time, 'til then, just belief.

There's a higher Power working and He has a perfect plan.

I didn't see it either, but trust me on this -- if you can.

Someday when it's your time to come to the other side,

I'll rush to welcome you with my arms open wide.

I'll show you around Heaven, there's so much to see.

But that time is not now. That's just the way it must be.

You must live out your journey as I had to live out mine.

And know His timing is perfect. We must trust the Divine.

So go live, laugh, and love--be who you're supposed to be

And when your job on earth is done, come Home and be with me.

Top graphic, thanks to ~Out of the Ashes

Friday's Faith - Coming Unglued ~ Power in Weakness

Friday's Faith

Coming Unglued

Lost. Father, who am I? What do I do?

Spinning. Round and round. I'm coming unglued.

Opportunity. Please throw out the "spam";

Loss. After child-loss, reveal who I am.

Tethered. Held to Your side, You will hold me

Together. Though my world flies apart, be

Lord. Sanity centered in You restores

Wholeness. In weakness, You'll hover e'en more.

"Peace. My peace I give you, not as the world

Gives. E'en amidst losing your baby girl,

Rest. You're being made anew to fit My

Kingdom. Trust My design and know that I

Reign. And My Kingdom's not of this world:

Life. Centered in Me. Like your baby girl..."

*******




Power in Weakness

God's ways often turn our illusions, our assumptive beliefs on their head. We know that in Child-Loss grief, we are at our abject weakest, and we keep waiting for "our strength" to come around the next corner. And indeed it may, only to be followed by more abject weakness as we remember once more that horrible truth that Our.Child.Has.Died.

So, while we are waiting for "our strength" to come, God Himself comes into our weakness. His Light seems to shine most brightly in our abject darkness. His Love seems to wrap its arms around us best when we are on our knees in abject weakness mourning our lost child. His Comfort rings most clearly in the still silence of our grief's stupor. His Presence blesses us and becomes our strength.

(Indeed, if we do reclaim some of "our strength," His Presence seems to recede to the background and when we are again aware of our aloneness, our position of us-against-the-world in our stark weakness, we become desperately frightened, panicked even.)

But when tears come, again releasing some of our grief and pain, His Nearness comes back with its Healing Power, holding us close to His heart. When will we learn, our weakness, admitting our power is all poured out, invites Him in all His imminent power to step in with Healing Love, Comfort, and Holy Presence.

It then becomes that accepting our weakness means inviting His strength to come along beside us, and we become inherently stronger, but humble in knowing that truly, We Need Him Every Hour, Every Day, of Each and Every Year of our lives ~ 24/7/365.



*****



"According to [John of] Ruysbroeck, we can also invite the presence of Jesus into our lives by cultivating a sense of our own destitution without Him. In so doing we create what he calls a valley of humility. Of course, attaining genuine humility is not easy.

We are prone in our fallen nature to find security in the pretense of our own strengths. Our culture tells us that it is the self-reliant and self-confident who prosper. Many of us have been raised in the "age of self esteem."

In fact, these self-building strategies bring death to our souls...

It may be helpful to remind ourselves that at His first coming Jesus came not to the high and mighty, but to pious God-fearing folks of the countryside. Mary received Jesus into her life as a humble handmaiden of the Lord. . . .

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus informs us that it is only the poor in spirit, the meek and the mourners who will see the kingdom of God (and its King) break into their lives.

Ruysbroeck tells us that the one who wants to practice the presence of Jesus needs to "take his stand upon his own littleness. . . ."

~Mark Harris, quoting John of Ruysbroeck (capitalizations mine)


*****

May we rest in the paradox in which we are living, that it is when we are weak that we are strong, for that is when the very Spirit of God "tabernacles" over us...

But (Jesus) said to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you, for [your] power is brought to its end in weakness."

All the more gladly, then, will I boast in my weaknesses that the power of Christ [not mine!] may tabernacle upon me. Therefore, I take delight in weaknesses, in insults, in necessities, in persecutions and calamities for the sake of Christ, for when I am weak, then I am strong.

~2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (translation by Marva Dawn*)



*****



Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the Valley of Vision
where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine.
Let me find Thy light in my darkness,
Thy life in my death,
Thy joy in my sorrow,
Thy grace in my sin,
Thy riches in my poverty,
Thy glory in my valley.

~Prayer of an anonymous Puritan

Picture: "Red Flower Girl" ~Rudy Chorvat

Poem - Coming Unglued - Angie Bennett Prince - 9/1/10, 4:00 am

Marva Dawn, Powers, Weakness, and the Tabernacling of God, p. 41

Wednesday's Woe - Who am i?

Wednesday's Woe

Who am i?

Who am i and what will i be

what i was no longer is

who i will be no one knows

But God's in His Heaven, and He holds me.

On that day, life came to a standstill

on that day, the whole world stopped

on that day, my life froze in time

But you're in God's Heaven, peace be still.

3 1/2 years seem like a day

3 1/2 years fly by like a night

3 1/2 years without you here...

But when you speak, time goes away.

What am i to do with my life

Life goes on with or without me

when you left, my life slipped away...

But God lives in me, and He IS my Life.

On that day, life came to a standstill

on that day, the whole world stopped

on that day, my life froze in time

But you're in God's Heaven, "Peace! Be still."

I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. John 14:6

A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him,

"Teacher, don't You care if we drown?"

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves,

"Peace! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to His disciples,

"Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" Mark 4:37-40

Faith is the evidence of things not seen, the substance of things hoped for. Hebrews 11:1

Since God got my baby to Heaven, He can surely take care of me...

God restored Life to my baby, raised her from the dead;

He'll surely restore Life to me, though my heart feel pulverized, dead.

I will celebrate life today, for my baby's no longer dead!

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies..." John 11:25

"Because I live, you also will live..." ~Jesus, John 14:19

"He is not far from each one of us. For in Him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:27b-28a ~Paul, about God

Picture: http://wwww.pics.am/

Poem - Who am i? - Angie Bennett Prince - 4/13/10

Tuesday's Trust — Identity Lost!

Drowning in grief, I flow under Grief's dam

Tuesday's Trust

Identity Lost!

Carefully I'm hidden under my words,

wondering who and what I really am,

thankful my shy spirit God undergirds...

He KNOWS who HE is...He's the Great "I AM."

Drowning in grief, I flow under Grief's dam,

Yet, I am His; He'll reveal who I am,

For FAITH and HOPE and TRUST are not just words...

May I rest in Thee like the little birds...

Then God showed me His Word, unseen before:

*Then Jesus said,

"God's Kingdom is like seed thrown on a field by a man who then goes to bed and forgets about it.

The seed sprouts and grows — he has no idea how it happens.

The earth does it all without his help:

• first a green stem of grass,

• then a bud,

• then the ripened grain.

• When the grain is fully formed,

• he reaps--harvest time!"

God's LIFE grows in Grief's dark, unseen by eyes;

When all seems lost, that's when NEW LIFE springs forth;

I'll not need to know all the what's, whens, nor whys...

I'll trust and I'll rest in His arms evermore!

God's Kingdom is like seed thrown on a field by a man who then goes to bed and forgets about it. The seed sprouts and grows--

he has no idea how it happens.

*Mark 4:28-29 from The Holy Bible, The Message translation

Pictures from:

http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2008/10/19/25-beautiful-examples-of-underwater-photography/

http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2008/03/10/35-fantastic-hdr-pictures/

Poem - Identity Lost - Angie Bennett Prince - 4/12/10