Tuesday's Trust - More Than Just a "Sunday-School Religion"

Tuesday's Trust

More Than Just a "Sunday-School Religion"

I remember telling someone soon after Merry Katherine, my precious 19-year-old daughter was killed, suddenly snatched away from this protective mommy's side,

"You'd better hope your faith is already in place and established before something like your child's death happens, because you wouldn't want to have to start your walk with God at a (dark) time like this."

And I still believe that. Everything you ever know or knew about God will be tested when your precious child's life is snatched away suddenly, completely, and totally out of your control.

You have done everything to love her, nurture her, provide for her, and protect her. You have prayed for her, taught her about our loving Lord, guided her, introduced her to her Lord, watched her faith grow, then struggle, then grow some more, then be tested, falter some, and then see her run back into His loving arms.

You have been guided by Him to love her, guide her, nurture her, chastise her, encourage her, and comfort her. You have watched a real miracle of faith blossom before your eyes.

And then, Blam! She is snatched away while the God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever watches on and sees her life brutally taken from her. It defies any logic you've ever had. The questions come. The faith is challenged. And yet,

You know

He is God.

He loved her.

He loved me.

And He always will...

I heard myself saying to my husband Tommy today (rhetorically speaking),

"You'd better hope that you have more than just a Sunday-School religion when your child is taken."

That is why I'm amazed that people don't get it ~ (that) my faith is deepened amidst the depths of my grief, deepened in the trenches of death in the way that no Sunday School class, no sermon, and no song from the choir could ever begin to touch. Why?

Because God is here ~

With me in the trenches.

Helping me to breathe my every breath.

And He is more real to me in every way because I could not take one more step, not even a baby step, without Him by my side...

Alway.

Intimately.

In the fire.

In the fear.

In the doubts.

In the agony.

In every living, waking, walking, stumbling moment.

And I know Him deeper than I've ever known Him before, and I can attest:

He is faithful.

He is here.

And He is love.

Picture, thanks to Grieving Mothers

Tuesday's Trust - Wait???

Tuesday's Trust

Wait???

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still . . . 'Wait.'"

~Untitled Poem by Unknown Author

Poem (untitled) found by an email friend on a Potters' Syndrome mom's site

Picture: Thank you to grieving mother/friend, Yvonne Shiplett

Friday's Faith - Can "Faith Street Bridge" Be Rebuilt Without Closing It Down? ~by Tommy Prince

Friday's Faith

Can "Faith Street Bridge"

Be Rebuilt

Without

Closing It Down?

~by Tommy Prince

My faith is being totally reconstructed right after I have gone through the worst crisis of a parent's life. What a time to have to rebuild and start all over.

At the time when I most need God, the Bridge is DOWN???

Do I totally shut it down?

Do I leave one lane open?

CAN I leave one lane open?

I trusted Someone who I felt totally let me down, and now I'm to leave one lane OPEN??? How is that even to be done?

When you pray diligently for your child's safety, and the Answer is... She Got Killed???!!!

NOW what do you do?

My faith has to be totally reconstructed.

Can I do this without everything crashing down and me falling off?

The Henley Street Bridge is an old bridge that is a major thoroughfare in our city of Knoxville, yet it is, right at this moment, totally closed down for major reconstruction. There is no possibility for one lane to be open. So for months and even years, this major thoroughfare will be shut down. The conservative estimate for reconstruction is TWO YEARS.

So, in facing a Major Reconstruction of my faith, I have had to close down my life to many things so that the major reconstruction can take place.

Can I trust that God will find a way to meet me when all roads have been shut off?

Picture, thanks to "Grieving Mothers" on Facebook

Tuesday's Trust - The Silent Treatment ~by Tommy Prince, with C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Tuesday's Trust

The Silent Treatment

~by Tommy Prince

with C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be -- or so it feels -- welcomed with open arms.

But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find?

A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.

You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited? It seemed so once. And that seeming was as strong as this. What can this mean?

Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?

I tried to put some of these thoughts to C. this afternoon. He reminded me that the same thing seems to have happened to Christ: "Why hast Thou forsaken Me?"

I know. Does that make it easier to understand?

Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God.

The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him.

The conclusion I dread is not "So there's no God after all," but "So this is what God is really like. Deceive yourself no longer."

~C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

*****

In last week's "Friday's Faith" post, I called the seeming silence and even the seeming disregard of God for my urgent prayers for my baby girl a "Sense of Betrayal."

And like Lewis, I didn't cease to believe in God. But what I believed about God resulted in a feeling of being traumatized by Him and being afraid to approach Him anymore, for anything.

Has anyone else felt this?

Picture of Vintage bolted door thanks to FotoSearch.com

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Footprints in the Sand ~Leona Lewis

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Footprints in the Sand

~Leona Lewis

(The music actually runs until 4:03 minutes.)

Footprints In The Sand

~Leona Lewis

You walked with me, footprints in the sand,

And help me understand where I'm going...

You walked with me when I was all alone,

With so much unknown along the way,

Then I heard You say,

I promise you I'm always there

When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair,

I'll carry you when you need a friend

You'll find my footprints in the sand.

I see my life flash across the sky

So many times have I been so afraid

And just when I, I thought I'd lost my way

You gave me strength to carry on...

That's when I heard you say

I promise you I'm always there

When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair

And I'll carry you when you need a friend,

You'll find my footprints in the sand.

When I'm weary,

Well I know You'll be there

And I can feel You when You say,

I promise you (you)

I'm always there

When your heart is filled (when your heart)

with sadness and despair (and despair)

Oh, I'll carry you when you need a friend (need a friend)

You'll find my footprints in the sand (I promise you)

Ohh, (I'm always there)

When your heart is full of

Sadness and despair (and despair)

I'll carry you (I'll carry you)

When you need a friend,

You'll find my footprints in the sand.

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

Uhm mmhh ummh uhm mmhh.

pictures thanks to FotoSearch.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0LvNApYP84&feature=related

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Always ~Building 429

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Always

~Building 429

Always

Building 429

I was standing in the pouring rain

One dark November night

Fighting off the bitter cold

When she caught my eye

Her face was torn and her eyes were filled

And then to my surprise

She pulled out a photograph

And my heart just stopped inside

She said,

He would have been three today

I miss his smile, I miss his face

What was I supposed to say

But I believe always, always

Our Savior never fails

Even when all hope is gone

God knows our pain,

and His promise remains

He will be with you always

He was living in a broken world,

dreaming of a home

His heart was barely keeping pace

When I found him all alone

Remembering the way he felt

When his daddy said goodbye

Fighting just to keep the tears

And the anger locked inside

He's barely holding on to faith

But deliverance is on its way

'Cuz I believe always always

Our Savior never fails

Even when all hope is gone

God knows our pain,

and His promise remains

He will be with you always

Friend I don't know where you are

And I don't know where you've been

Maybe you're fighting for your life

Or just about to throw the towel in

But if you're crying out for mercy

If there's no hope left at all

If you've given everything you've got

And you're still about to fall

Well hold on, hold on, hold on

Cuz I believe always always

Our Savior never fails

Even when all faith is gone

God knows our pain and His promise remains

Always, Always

He will be with you always

He will be with you always

He will be with you always

He will be with you

Thank you to my friend, grieving mother Danielle Helms for the picture of the cross in the clouds, reminding her of God's faithfulness...