Monday's Mourning Ministry - You Carry Me ~Moriah Peters

Monday's Mourning Ministry

You Carry Me

~Moriah Peters

You Carry Me

~Moriah Peters

from the album Brave

Feels like it's been miles and miles

Feels like it's an uphill climb

Sometimes I get weary on the way

But when I look back at where I've been

When I look back, I'm sure of it

I was right there in Your arms and I can say,

Every moment of my life

God, You never left my side

Every valley, every storm

You were there, You were there

I don't need to know what's next

You'll be with me every step

Through it all, through it all

I can see: You carry me!

There are days I wonder if

You can fix the mess I'm in

Times when nothing seems

To go the way it should

But then I look back on every season

I can find there's ten thousand reasons

To trust that You can work all things for good

Every moment of my life

God, You never left my side

Every valley, every storm

You were there, You were there

I don't need to know what's next

You'll be with me every step

Through it all, through it all

I can see 

Through the wind and waves

Through my worst mistakes

Through the times I thought I walked alone

You were holding me

You were whispering

I will never leave you on your own

Every moment of my life

God, You never left my side

Every valley, every storm

You were there, You were there

I don't need to know what's next

You'll be with me every step

Through it all, through it all

I can see

Every moment of my life

God, You never left my side

Every valley, every storm

You were there, You were there

I don't need to know what's next

You'll be with me every step

Through it all, through it all

I can see: You carry me!

You carry me!

~~~

1st graphic: 
http://unbrokenbygrace.tumblr.com/image/86435633120

Grief video: http://youtu.be/x2H-zQjgurQ

Memorial Day, Thank you to our veterans...
http://unbrokenbygrace.tumblr.com/image/86710515450

Thursday's Therapy - Upcoming Child-Loss Grief Book Review: Beautiful Nate ~by Dennis Mansfield - Review by Chad Estes

Thursday's Therapy

Upcoming Child-Loss Grief Book

Review: 

Beautiful Nate

~by Grieving Father, Dennis Mansfield 

Review by Chad Estes 

Beautiful Nate

13 Nov, 2012

DENNIS MANSFIELD’S MEMOIR OF RAISING HIS SON NATHAN

Posted by Chad Estes

I don’t normally read a book twice before writing a review but this story is different; this is one I partially lived through.

I consider Dennis one of my best friends, a man who stands by me and works hard to understand me when others more easily cast me aside.

Dennis wasn’t always this way towards me, nor was I towards Dennis.

Pain in both of our lives has made us different and better men. 

In a conversation today he told me,

“Though I was the birth father of Nate, Nate was the birth father of the reborn Dennis.”

I mentioned that I walked through parts of their story:

• I was in Dennis’ home within hours of him and Susan hearing that their 27-year-old son was dead.
• I was at the viewing where family and friends gathered to weep over their loss.
• I met with Dennis before the funeral, just to let him spill his heart and cry with him.
• I was at the funeral with my entire family lending whatever support we could.
• I was at the graveside service, holding Dennis’ grandson, who was too wiggly to stay in his mother’s arms. I walked and cuddled with Cole, as his uncle, whom he never met, was placed in the ground.

I read the book the first time when Dennis was looking for feedback about the story, the flow, and how his message came across. The second time was with the finished manuscript, which will be released in March of 2013.

Both times I called Dennis when I was finished and said,

“I don’t know how you will ever get over Nate’s loss.” 

Both times we cried together.

But Beautiful Nate isn’t a book about grief or losing a child; though the themes of both are present. It also has themes about intentional child rearing – although not in a How-To outline. Dennis and Susan went into parenthood with purpose. They sought out mentors, they read books, they listened to Focus on the Family – Dennis even worked for the Idaho Family Forum for a decade. The Mansfields choose to home-schooled their kids, being involved in every part of their children’s education. They followed all of the conservative instructions, yet Nate’s life didn’t fall into line with their desired plans and goals.

Our children aren’t born with a printed guarantee or a warranty plan.

Nate made some hard choices in this life – with the friends he choose to hang out with and the drugs he choose to take. These decisions landed him in a county jail and later a prison in Missouri.

The toll this took on Nate’s family can’t really be measured – drug addiction is an ugly monster with tentacles that touch everyone in proximity. Dennis is open about how it affected him, even his career.

Still this book is not a How-To keep your kids from drugs, or what to do if your kids do become addicted. More than anything this is a story about a father and a son, who both dearly love each other, who have some significant ups and downs, and whose time together on this side of eternity was cut way too short.

I sat in a meeting last week in Dennis’ home, his living room full of unique men that Dennis has made his friends. In a moment of humility and wonder Dennis says,

“Gentlemen, what if we’ve been wrong…” 

The question lingers and no one easily addresses it because there are no simple answers to that devastating inquiry. We want to be right. We strive to know. It is a huge part of our identity and it is the measuring stick that we use to draw lines in the sand about who is on whose side.

Being right can be its own addictive, crippling drug.

When we think we have life all figured out and have all of the answers, we put ourselves at risk; if our experience doesn’t meet our expectations then what? We usually find ourselves imprisoned by our own judgments – and we try to escape with excuses while the inner turmoil and shame just drags us further into the cell. The only freedom comes from the realization of our own brokenness and the ability to humbly admit we don’t know it all. Dennis is a free man and that is of more value than being right.

Beautiful Nate is a beautiful story; yes there is tragedy, but there is also new life. And Dennis honors his son by sharing their journey together in this book. I hope you take the time to read it. Get to know beautiful Nate, and get to know reborn Dennis.

highlights, mine

Thank you to my Twitter friend Chad Estes for this wonderful review of the upcoming book by my Facebook friend who is the grieving father and author, Dennis Mansfield.

The Mansfield Family

Nate is pictured to the far left, Dennis is in the middle

Dennis Mansfield

Susan just spoke of the moment she laid down the burden of burying her boy. And she spoke of the joy that Jesus gave to all of us - "He picked us up and carried us" she said.

http://www.chadestes.com/2012/11/beautiful-nate/#idc-container

Monday's Mourning Ministry - Not Alone ~Red

Monday's Mourning Ministry

Not Alone

~Red

I ended my first book with the words “no answer.” I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?

~from Till We Have Faces, by C. S. Lewis

Not Alone

~Red

• From album, Until We Have Faces
• Songwriters: Robert Graves III, Mark Holman, Jasen Rauch

Slowly fading away, you're lost and so afraid
Where is the hope in a world so cold?
Looking for a distant light, someone who can save a life
You're living in fear that no one will hear your cry
Can You save me now?

I am with you, I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you, I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
'Cause you're not, you're not alone

Your heart is full of broken dreams, just a fading memory
And everything's gone but the pain carries on
Lost in the rain again, when will it ever end?
The arms of relief seem so out of reach
But I, but I am here

I am with you, I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you, I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
'Cause you're not, you're not alone

And I will be your hope when you feel like it's over
And I will pick you up when your whole world shatters
And when you're finally in my arms
Look up and see, Love has a face...

I am with you, I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you, I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
'Cause you're not, you're not alone

And I will be your hope, you're not alone
And I will pick you up
And I will be your hope
And I will be your hope

Slowly fading away, you're lost and so afraid
Where is the hope in a world so cold?

Pictures, thanks to http://www.lordsart.com/

Tuesday's Trust - An Invitation to Visit the Shambles of My Life

Tuesday's Trust

An Invitation to Visit the Shambles of My Life

"How does someone dress to attend the shambles of her life?"

~Weeping

...If I were to send an invitation to visit the shambles of my life...

How many people would take me up on that?

The curiosity seekers, (or as my friend calls them, the "lookie-lous")?

The compassionate's heart is too deeply triggered to visit...

The complacent are too afraid my disaster is contagious...

Let's face it...

I am now a tragic story.

I am now the mother of a dead child.

I am now the mother of a beautiful daughter drawn into the evils of drugs.

(Were boundaries needed, or did boundaries kill?

Who knows? Who will never know till Heaven's Gate...?)

All I know is I loved her.

I did my best.

I prayed through e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I did.

And she knew I loved her.

And she loved me.

And I prayed so hard for her soul.

And her soul remained tender to God.

And I still have no clue what can be done for one hooked by evil drugs – even ones as "tame" as marijuana...

("Tame"?! I think not! Just ask the young man who passed out on the road from the effects of marijuana and his morning prescription of antidepressants in his system, who ran off the road in such a passed-out-state, crashing into a row of hardwood trees that didn't budge even for a 2-ton SUV traveling at 60 miles per hour {his foot never hit the brake as the car was still running and the cruise-control was still on when the rescue workers arrived at the crash}, killing all 3 of his friends including my child, all of whom he had invited to go with him to the beach for his family's reunion... I'll bet he no longer thinks marijuana is a "tame" nor "safe" drug...)

Yes, I do have some peace.

I know she is in my Lord's arms.

I know she is safe. Safe from the Enemy that though he killed her, he was impotent to capture her soul...because she KNEW her Lord, and His Love conquered Satan's evil plans for her death, giving her her life back...eternal life to spend with Him and with all who love Him.

But how does her mother make plans as she enters the shambles of her life?

How does one make a living as her life becomes consumed with her child's dying?

How does one walk through a day knowing the rest of her life will be gray, robbed of the color of her child?

It Can Only Be Done In the Arms Of My Lord Who Promises To Carry Me!

And He does...or else...I couldn't make it.

Thank YOU ~ for coming to visit me and love me...in the shambles of my life!

And it really doesn't matter what you wear, for I think we will only focus on one another's hearts and souls...

Picture: Thanks to @LillyAnn

Quote: Weeping, A Fritillary Quilter Mystery, (2004), p. 36