Wednesday's Woe
Missing My Mom and My Daughter
Today has been such a sad day for me, missing both my mother and my daughter.
My mother, also a child-loss mom, having lost my oldest brother to cancer when he was only 38 years old, was so adept at understanding my painful grief over Merry Katherine. I was so blessed to have her live to the age of 97 years old, able to live in her own home (the home I grew up in), sleeping in her own bed until her death. We had such sweet times together on my visits home, whether we were crying together over grief, or laughing together over one another's antics, it was all so precious. And to be able to be nurtured by her so sweetly even as I was getting the privilege of nurturing her creates such warm places in my heart even today.
Just a few months before her death, on one visit home, she taught me a prayer I had never heard in all my years with her. In and out of her dementia, one night she just rattled off this beautifully sweet prayer that just captures the gentle love of Jesus for us, His tender lambs. I was stunned to hear her so articulately remembering every word of this very poignant prayer.
When I later looked it up on the internet, I saw that it was a very old Methodist prayer and realized she was just a little girl when she first learned this prayer she had kept in her heart for a lifetime. One internet site showed that between the years of 1893 and 1923, there was a song with the words of this prayer that was found in 2 % of the hymnals in those days! (My grandmother, "MaMa" was 6 years old when the prayer first appeared in hymnals; she was born in 1887---100 years before Merry Katherine was born. MaMa lived long enough to see Merry Katherine, then died just four months later. My mother was born in 1913, so the prayer/song was available in hymnals for the first ten years of her life!) Evidently, Mother's special prayer was included in a collection of songs prepared especially for the primary and infant departments of the Sunday School, starting in 1893.
And in all my years with her, to think I had never even heard her speak of this wonderful little prayer! I am the youngest of six children; evidently she taught it to the first four children, then taught my brother and me a completely different prayer in our early days of childhood. She took great joy in teaching it to me in her latter days (at the age of 97!), repeating it word for word until I got it down accurately on paper. It was amazing to me.
When she first said the prayer, her helper and I were holding hands with her as we prayed, and when I heard the words, I cried. (Her words could be understood in two ways, the way she had been taught it as a child, but also as words that would be looking to God's Ultimate Morning Light where she would soon be headed, and I, of course, was wanting to hold onto her here for as long as I could, so the tears just poured.) Here is the prayer that she said that night, and you will see it again, incorporated into the prayers I wrote early this morning...
Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me;
Bless Thy little lamb tonight.
Thro' the darkness be Thou near me;
Keep me safe till morning light.
Thinking of Mother...
Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me;
Bless Thy little lamb tonight.
Thro' the darkness be Thou near me;
Keep me safe till morning light.
Treasured moments with Mom I had,
Treasured moments kept out the bad...
Now my Father, she's in Your arms,
Kept safe in You with no alarms.
Will You both hold me in Your arms?
World's greatest Love, all Darkness disarms.
Thinking of Merry Katherine...
6 years now, you've been with Jesus;
Can you tell me what that's like?
Here on earth, we know He's with us,
Replacing Darkness with His Light.
6 years now, you've been with Love,
No sin nor sadness hanging on;
Lightness surrounds like clouds above,
Yielding peace like Heaven's Dawn.
I too long to be with Jesus,
Held in His arms, He gently greets us...
All is sweet, our sadness gone...
Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me;
Bless Thy little lamb tonight.
Thro' the darkness be Thou near me;
Keep me safe till morning light.
Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me:
Hold my little lamb tonight.
In my heart please keep her near me;
Hold us close till Morning's Light!
Thinking of Mother, Merry Katherine, and me...
Jesus, Gentle Shepherd, hear me:
Bless Thy little lambs tonight...
Thro' the darkness be Thou near us;
Keep us close till Morning's Light!
Artwork: Jesus and the lamb, thanks to Katherine Brown, artist
3 Poems - Thinking of Mother, Merry Katherine, and Me - Angie Bennett Prince - 8/21/2012
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