Tuesday's Trust - "Morning is Coming...but Also the Night..."

Tuesday's Trust

"Morning is Coming... but also the Night"

Lord, my child is toying with disaster...

Day after day Lord, I'm on the alert.

Night after night I stand guard at my post...

But here comes a policeman in uniform

saying, Your child has fallen, lying shattered

on the ground... At this, my body is racked

with pain ~ Pangs seize me like a woman in labor.

Bewildered by what I "see," by what I "hear," staggered,

My heart falters; I tremble as safety I longed for becomes horror...

Disaster strikes ~ Like whirlwinds sweeping through our land,

the Invader comes from the Land of Terror.

A dire vision is shown at hand...

The Traitor betrays, the Looter takes loot, and

I can't be consoled for my baby is severed

from my side. ~ Death stabs a knife through my heart.

My life starts th' unraveling to surely fall apart...

In the Valley of Violence, there's tumult,

trampling, and terror, for there were breaches

In her defenses. I can't be consoled

for my baby girl is destroyed, ripped from my reaches...

The Lord calls me to weep, wail, and moan,

but I say, I waste away; I waste away,

for my child is left in ruins; she is gone!

Let me weep bitterly. Don't try to console! She's gone!

And now Terror and Pit and Snare await.

If I flee from Trauma's Terror, I fall in Grief's Pit.

If I climb from Grief's Pit, I fall in Terror's Snare...

Such is the cross this grieving mother must bear...

God says,

I will bring to an end all the groaning Death instilled...

Yes, the taunt of the Ruthless one is stilled...

The shroud that haunts, that enfolded my child,

the Lord Almighty destroys on a Hill ~

His Son bought peace ~ for my child, reconciled,

for He will swallow up death forever.

Our Sovereign Lord will wipe away tears from our faces.

He removes all our sin and all death's disgraces.

He'll restore to me my child who was severed,

restoring my peace while to Him I am tethered

to keep me from falling apart

as Grief stabs a knife through this mother's heart...

O people, crushed on death's threshing floor here,

I'll tell you words from the Lord Almighty I hear...

I will comfort through pain, anguish, and fright,

For Morning is coming...but also the Night...

I live in Night's Now while longing for Morning's Not Yet...

Meanwhile by trust and faith, I'm held in God's safety net,

While Christ holds my little lamb tenderly, to sweetly pet...

Morning is Coming...but also the Night."

Isaiah 21:12a

{as inspired by the poetic usage of words effectively capturing God's redemptive action in His history with His people: Isaiah 21 and 22 of The Bible, God's Holy Word}

Poem - "Morning is Coming...but also the Night..." - Angie Bennett Prince 9/19/10 (Poem is personalizing the inspiring words of Isaiah, chapters 21 and 22 to my child's story of terror before rescue)

Friday's Faith - The Now...and the Not Yet

Friday's Faith

The Now...and the Not Yet

By faith, even amidst the worst grief known to mankind—that of child-loss grief, we do believe some portions of healing are available~though not complete healing this side of Heaven.

We believe the key is to keep the grief flowing, allowing God to hold us in His arms to love, to comfort, to reassure, to remind us of His paradigm shift—

The Now... and the Not Yet of Eternity.

We have many blessings here but not all the blessings God has in store for us. We know Jesus now, but we don't know Him as we will someday know Him—fully. There is still sin and evil in this world. The world is fallen — fallen from its ideal in creation, but one day it will be restored. Death, dying, sickness, grieving, crying are still here now. There will be a time it will be wiped away.

My baby girl was here~a little taste of Heaven on this earth. Now she is away. She died, and yet she lives. We are separated and yet she is with me in ways she couldn't be before.

She suffered here. She suffers no more. I held her, nurtured her, loved her here~ We had long talks; we went on trips together~ we communed soul to soul. We talked about God, her life, her strengths, her weaknesses, her love for others, her friends whom she loved (and at times worried about), her boyfriend whom she adored and to whom she was lavaliered for quite awhile, then broken up, then reunited until she died two days later.

There was so much wonderful about her. Sweet, incredibly sensitive to others around her, amazingly steadfast as a friend, not the typical "catty" female like many girls her age. She loved, truly loved her friends and would stand up for them and fight for them to the end. She was very funny, loving to crack us up as well as cracking up her friends. She was festive about life. She was extremely active, into just about every humanly-possible feat! She was captain of her climbing team. She was an award-winning state champion on the track team for every year of her high school years.

And now she is gone. But not forever. And she is not sad. She is at peace. She is at rest in her soul. She is with our Lord. She visits me in her own spiritual way with her tender, sweet, and fun personality intact~even improved as no sin nature interferes with her sweetness! She is whole. She is not suffering. She is safe.

And God wants me to climb into her new reality. He knows it's a process — a process He meets me in and walks with me through.

The healing has been incredibly painstaking and seemingly slow. The grief is ever here but goes through many different phases.

A real key to my strength is her sweet smile showing up when I am absolutely crashing, and then the sadness disperses as quickly as the grief had hit me.

It seems the more I can "see" her alive, active, vital, the stronger I become. Horror, Excruciating Pain, Paroxysm Tears turn to peace, sweetness of "seeing" her, and yet still tears of missing her, and yes, times of angst but not always as agonizing or for nearly as long a period of time as before.

A client who knows me well said today she really doesn't "get" me writing in my blog so regularly. I don't think anyone could "get" that but other grieving mommies and daddies who know—our pain is ALWAYS there, and the pain ALWAYS has got to flow, and if my writing can HELP anyone else, that soothes my heart to think I might be able to lift a corner of someone else's pain for a few moments at a time. And so I write...

❤♥And I thank you—so much—for those of you who listen... ♥❤

*****

"... (God) crowned (Jesus) with glory and honor and put everything under His feet."

In putting everything under Him, God left nothing that is not subject to Him. Yet at present we do not see everything subject to Him. But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because He suffered death, so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone.

In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering...

Since the children have flesh and blood, (Jesus) too shared in their humanity so that by His death He might destroy him who holds the power of death —that is, the devil—

and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels He helps, but Abraham's descendants. For this reason He had to be made like His brothers in every way, in order that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that He might make atonement for the sins of the people.

~Hebrews 2:8-10,14-17 NIV

Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

~Revelation 21:3b-4 NIV

*****

Thank You, Lord, for Your amazing love and tender mercies to us. Thank You that our baby girl rests safely in Your arms, and for ever impressing that upon my grief-torn heart. Thank You for giving me a sense of her peace and happiness, and for Your faithfully walking me through this terrible grief, helping me to place my faith and trust in You, learning to trust Your mysterious ways.

Please bless all of our precious grieving readers who come to this blog~there are so many hearts full of pain over the loss of their beloved child. Please give them Your gracious and loving comfort, and continue to bring them Your healing and Your reassurances each and every day. Help them to have Your peace that passes understanding - even, and especially, in this, their terrible grief.

For it's in our Savior's name who lovingly gave His own life for us and for our children that I pray, Amen.

Pictures thanks to photobucket.com

Wednesday's Woe - For Whom The Grief Tolls ~ 4 Years of Child-Loss Grief

Wednesday's Woe

For Whom The Grief Tolls

4 Years of Child-Loss Grief

Child-Loss Grief is a Journey to Accommodation, Assimilation, and Integration, not a Journey to Healing.

We're both feeling bad. Not only is it the 4th Year Anniversary, we thought we'd be further along at 4 Years. We thought we'd feel better than we do now. We must remember Dr. Rando says there will be at least 5-7 years of Acute Grief after Child-Loss, and that 5-7 years starts after the court time and the legal work has been settled...so I guess we're more like 3 years along in our grief...

Child-Loss Grief is more like a Journey to Assimilation, Accommodation, Integration, NOT really a Journey to Healing as our hearts will never fully heal this side of Heaven...

*****

For Whom The Grief Tolls

Forlorn,

Debilitated,

Sadness hovers...

Feeling grief for other hurting mothers...

Cannot bear thinking they too feel what I feel:

Hearts ripped open, mutilated, but cannot heal.

God, we love You; we're trying hard...What's the deal?

If God makes diamonds out of pressured coals,

As we're pressed down, Glory shines through broken souls...

Poured out, ravaged parents...for whom The Grief tolls.

*****

Scriptures for God's Bereaved Followers Who are Left Behind...

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

~I Peter 6-7

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.

Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

~James 5:7-8, 10-11

But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps...

When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.

~James 5:20b-21, 23

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.

~James 4:12-13

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-supassing power is from God and not from us.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that His life may be revealed in our mortal body.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

~I Corinthians 4:7-11, 16-17

Hanging Bells, originally uploaded by gujje_naveen.

http://www.free-stockphotos.com/download-free-golden-christmas-bell-images/

Poem - For Whom The Grief Tolls - Angie Bennett Prince - 8/11/10

All Scripture from the New International Version of The Holy Bible (capitalizations and highlights, mine)