In Loving Memory - Merry Katherine Prince

In The Knoxville News Sentinel today, on this sixth anniversary of the death of our 19-year-old daughter, we placed the following poem I had written three years ago in an attempt to visualize what happened to my baby "that night" that she was taken from us so that I could climb from the wraith that I ever feel that I am, into the faith that My Father ever calls me to see...

In Loving Memory

Merry Katherine Prince

3/29/1987 – 8/2/2006

Looking within my imagination,

I see the White Bridge you crossed on that night

From dreary earth to Glorification:

O what a glorious scene to my sight!

The bridge, made of purest gold, transparent—

And yet, it gave off sheens of whitest light...

Light from Savior-Spirit-God apparent,

Shining rays of Love of the purest white.

Th’ bridge’s span quite wide –from here to Heaven–

With no undergirding that I could see,

Nor could I see the spiritual leaven

That transmuted your soul t’ be heavenly…

But I saw the delight in Abba’s eyes

As He cradled you up into His arms;

Such passionate love our language defies

As He grabbed you away from Satan’s harms…

From th’ blackest evil Satan could concoct

To Whitest Love whose Goodness evil blocked,

Stormed Satan’s stronghold, whisking you away—

Satan crushed, thrown on the ground, left shell-shocked;

Helpless God’s plan t’ circumvent, there he lay.

And the look on your face was ecstasy

As you flew from the ground to Abba’s arms,

Nestling in their loving warmth so snugly,

Thrilled Amazing Grace so deftly disarms.

Now all I can do is quietly stare

As I watch you cross amidst the night air,

Awed, I see your flight from Nightmare t’ God’s Care;

Now God kisses your face, caresses your hair…

We love you and miss you with all our hearts ~

Awaiting the day we too may 

kiss your face, caress your hair…

Mommy, Daddy, Nathan, 

Rollin, Stephanie, and Merry ‘Ellie’ 

We love you and miss you so, BabyGirl.

Poem - "That Night": From Nightmare to God's Care - Angie Bennett Prince - 8/5/2009

Wednesday's Woe - On Our 2,177th day of grief...Anniversary Syndrome Rears Its Ugly Head ~by Tommy Prince

Wednesday's Woe

On Our 2,177th day of grief...

Anniversary Syndrome Rears Its Ugly Head

~by Tommy Prince

From "Silent Grief - Child Loss Support":

Child loss isn't a temporary sad thing. Child loss is a forever heartbreak. There are no vaccines to protect us from the pain, nor is there anything to keep the pain from recurring throughout our entire lifetime. The phrase, "I'll be so glad when you get over this" should be wiped out and never used because it simply does NOT apply to child loss!!!! The loss of a child is something we will never "get over"!

~thanks to grieving mother, C. W.

The silent grief is making a lot of noise inside me. We are 15 days away from our child's death date, and the symptoms of 'Anniversary Syndrome' are already rearing their ugly heads. 

There's a sadness that's come over me that is making it difficult for me to even hold my head up. The fatigue is keeping me from being able to do what I want to do during the day. I only want to talk to people that I have to talk to. There's no energy to deal with any extra contact. My emotions are extremely tender... and testy; the short fuse is back. I go through periods of having a short fuse with myself and others, and I am back in that state. I am 'out of it' such that I am not as aware of my external surroundings as I need to be because my internal condition is demanding my all. So a couple of days ago, I unwittingly slammed my toe into the side of some wooden steps, and I could hear the ligaments around it snap. All because I am in a daze, caught up in the stupor of grief.

I am doing all the things I can to try to take care of myself by getting rest, exercise, etc. But this is a sadness and despair that I can't 'wish' away, or 'manage' away. The death date is coming, and there is nothing I can do about it. 

As "Silent Grief" so wisely stated,

Child loss isn't a temporary sad thing. 

Child loss is a forever heartbreak.

~~~

And so does a Dad....

Quote, thanks to grieving mother, C. W.

1st picture, thanks to grieving mother, B. J. K.

2nd picture, thanks to grieving mother,  J. W. T.

3rd picture, thanks to grieving mother, I. E.

Wednesday's Woe - And the Fun Goes On!

Wednesday's Woe

And the Fun Goes On!

Okay, so the 5th year "anniversary" of Merry Katherine's death is coming up on August 2nd.

Tommy said this year he would really like to go somewhere ~ anywhere but home.

Well, Tommy got his wish! He gets to go somewhere alright, and...

I get to go with him!

His doctor's office just called and asked Tommy to come in on August 2nd to have a biopsy done.

(And this news coming after, just two weeks before, this same doctor giving him a

"Clean Bill of Health"

and scheduling his next appointment a year away...)

Doesn't the fun just continue going on and on and on for us child-loss grievers?

Well, gotta go. Guess we'll need to go pack... (But first we need to go buy a fleet enema.)

Another day in the lively adventure of the child-loss griever...

Now, if they could just come up with some "medicine" for the heart...

Pictures, thanks to FotoSearch

Monday's Mourning Ministry - After Four Years... Missing You Deeply / Redeemer ~Nicole C. Mullen

In Loving Memory

Merry Katherine Prince

3/29/1987 – 8/2/2006

I wrote this poem to Merry Katherine asking about her life in Heaven. Today, we put this poem into our local newspaper, The Knoxville News Sentinel:

Fourteen hundred and sixty-one days since

you've been here with us. Tears still flow freely.

Surely tears will flow for a lifetime hence,

For missing you affects us so deeply...

Where are you now, and what are you doing?

Are you pulling for us? Praying for us?

Are there things once done you now are ruing,

Or have God's cleansing waters soothed you thus?

Are there things you wish for, hope we will do?

Does God allow you a part in our lives?

Can you watch Satan try to pull his coup,

See as he rips us up, (or at least tries)?

Do you see my heart ripped and pulverized,

Or see Daddy as he struggles with God?

When God sweetly soothes us, are you surprised?

Or when God breaks through, do you smile and nod?

When our deep grief renders us weak, weary

As we walk through Shadows of Death's Valley

And you see us struggle, are you teary,

Or do you smile as God helps us rally?

Does God show you the rest of the story?

Do you see from the beginning to end?

Can you see how from here God gets glory,

And after trials, how angels He'll send?

I sense when I see you, God's holy peace:

I see you happy, your beautiful smile,

I hear your comfort and my worries cease.

My tears 'nd sadness in my heart reconcile.

We miss you sweet Baby and always will

And yet we know you're in the Shepherd's care–

We're so thankful, for you Christ walked Calv'ry's Hill

Love so filled His heart, sins' sentence He'd bear.

We'll see you soon in His Kingdom so fair–

Maybe we'll even meet you in the air!

We love you, sweet Baby Girl,

Mommy, Daddy, Nathan, Rollin and Stephanie

"Redeemer" was one of Merry Katherine's very favorite songs; she loved to belt it out along with her stereo in her room. So I especially wanted to share this very inspired song with you again today as it so vividly shares her sweet relationship with her Lord who walks beside her today and with whom she can freely share all the love in her heart each and every day!

Redeemer

~Nicole C. Mullen

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?

and Who told the ocean you can only come this far?

and Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening?

Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Well I know my Redeemer lives

I know my Redeemer lives:

All of creation testifies

This Life within me cries

I know my Redeemer lives, yeah.

The very same God that spins things in orbit

runs to the weary, the worn and the weak

And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken

They conquered death to bring me victory!

Now I know my Redeemer lives

I know my Redeemer lives

Let all creation testify

Let this life within me cry

I know my Redeemer, He lives

To take away my shame

And He lives forever, I'll proclaim

That the payment for my sin

Was the precious life He gave

But now He's alive and

There's an empty grave.

And I know my Redeemer, He lives

I know my Redeemer lives

Let all creation testify

Let this life within me cry

I know my Redeemer,

I know my Redeemer

I know my Redeemer lives

I know my Redeemer lives

I know that I know that I know that I know that I know my Redeemer lives

My Redeemer lives

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

I Know I know

He lives He lives yeah, yeah - I spoke with him this morning

He lives He lives, the tomb is empty,

He lives, He lives, I gotta tell everybody, yeah

Baby, I'm so thankful "He lives," and to know you "spoke with Him this morning!" :)

And because He lives, you live!

And because His tomb is empty, yours too will be some day!

I especially love the words, "And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken, They conquered death to bring me victory!"

Thank You God for Your amazing Love that holds my baby girl today. Thank You for giving up Your Son so that my baby can be with you today ~ What a Loving Lord You are! What a Loving Abba-Daddy You are to us and to our baby girl! Please give her a kiss for me today...and hold her oh so close,

Poem - After Four Years, Missing You Deeply... - Angie Bennett Prince - 8/2/10

Redeemer, Nicole C. Mullen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p4G2GbPYQA

Redeemer lyrics: http://bit.ly/clpcd9

Wednesday's Woe - When Death Cuts Like a Knife

Wednesday's Woe

When Death Cuts Like a Knife

Since God saved you baby, you might wonder,

"If you know I'm happy, why are you sad?"

As surely as lightning's followed by thunder,

losing you baby still hurts Mommy so bad...

Love invested in you doesn't just stop...

Who would think 125 pounds

missing from this earth would make our hearts drop

and unleash in us the child-seeking hounds?

Th' hounds are relentless, ready to attack

any clueless person who doesn't "get it"–

Th' hounds won't settle down until you get back,

ever restless, no matter how much they're petted.

When God said, "Love Me with heart, mind, soul, strength,"

we didn't question His ways nor His command.

His love for us would go to any length,

so of course our love for Him should so demand.

So too, Baby, ev'ry morsel of strength,

heart, soul, and mind corraled to love you...

They wouldn't stop just because you blinked.

They merely regroup to find you anew.

So imagine my joy when God sends a glimpse

of your smiling face looking down at me–

It then doesn't matter we walk with limps

in grief, for your spirit hovers o'er me!

So be patient with Mommy and Daddy

trying t' adjust to a new way of life.

God comforts as our hearts suffer sadly

with glimpses of Heav'n when death cuts like a knife.

Pic thanks to @LillyAnn http://twitpic.com/fntdy

Poem - When Death Cuts Like a Knife - Angie Bennett Prince - 7/26/10

Though You've Been Gone Three Years

My heart is heavy, but I don’t know why . . .

Over a thousand days since you said g’bye.

Crepe myrtle’s blooming like it did that day

We spent time together…(then) you went away. . .

Th’ crepe myrtle’s bloom returns, but you do not . . .

God has you in Heaven, but I have naught—

“Life goes on,” or so they say . . . mine has not;

It’s on hold (for you), only baby girl I’ve got . . .

The days go by, then they just pass away—

Is my life on hold for that Glorious Day

When I’ll see you and My Lord face-to-face?

Until that day, am I marching-in-place?

What can God do with His child so broken?

Other lives produce; I’m just a token. . .

Seems all I’m able to do ev’ryday

Is grieve and love others who are th’ same way.

Yet the Lord reminds me in His Good Book . . .

He doesn’’t look at me th’ way others look—

His pow’r is made perfect in folks like me . . .

He’ll use my tears to fill Grief’s Salty Sea,

So, to sail His comfort in to stay with me. . .

He’ll turn my broken heart into His spout

To refresh us grievers, (He’ll) pour His love out.

He’ll use my empty life to shine His Light through

T’ breathe Light into Death’s darkness th’ whole Night through.

So baby girl, though you’ve been gone three years,

Our God is not surprised by your mommy’s tears.

He’s gotten me this far; He’ll get me through—

As you rest in His arms, I’ll rest in them, too!

Crepe myrtle photo thanks to www.Flickr.com

Red sunrise with cross rising out of water - http://www.canstockphoto.com/cross-rising-0570015.php

http://www.canstockphoto.com/love-background-with-heart-0490888.php

http://www.canstockphoto.com/hearts-background-0106756.php

http://www.canstockphoto.com/abstract-concept-hands-reaching-0186287.php

http://media.photobucket.com/image/jesus%20and%20a%20lamb/rhon33999/Jesus_Lamb.jpg?o=3

Written 7/26/09 - Though You've Been Gone Three Years - Angie Bennett Prince

In Loving Memory of Merry Katherine Prince 3/29/87 - 8/2/06