Friday's Faith - In Traumas, He Makes Me to Lie Down…

Friday's Faith

In Traumas, He Makes Me to Lie Down…

Tommy and I have been plagued with nightmares this week. Mine started last Friday night and Saturday morning just before Father's Day, so I was in a "real good" place to be supportive of Tommy on the always-difficult holiday, as you might imagine. The first nightmare put me particularly under and its haunting nature still remains with me, and the second nightmare just picked up where the first one left off. As they always say, "When it rains, it pours…." So then, we proceeded from there to have a particularly difficult weekend...

Ever since, sleep has not come easy for me. And during the day, coping hasn't been going so well either. The questions raised in my nightmares about Merry Katherine's situation before she was killed were opened up again, and some of them haunted me. I found that I was so traumatized that I became greatly agitated, so that any other thing, little or big, greatly got under my skin and made me miserable. What is it? Does Trauma breed Trauma? It was like I went from one difficult thing to another, and then was accosted by events that really hurt me by the very people who I otherwise had thought were extremely "safe" in my life. It was a horrible time, and I couldn't seem to shake the hurts, nor my baby's situation plaguing me...

Tommy was very sweet and tried to reach out to me as best he could. And he was very helpful. Sometimes I get so incredibly tense that there is no way I could ever get back to sleep at night without one of his gentle back rubs, and several times, he would help me get back to sleep. But we were both struggling, and sometimes that backfires, and we even find ourselves struggling "against" one another. We're doing okay now, but it wasn't easy getting to this place.

After one particularly difficult night of sleep, and facing a day with some challenging situations ahead with some of my clients, I lay there in bed after Tommy had gotten up, and just cried out to my God to please help me. There were so many toxins I just couldn't seem to let go of, and I knew my mind needed to be clear, at least for the sake of my clients. God came to me and was so incredibly tender… 

It was like His Holy Spirit took over and took me on a gentle path of Spirit-guided imagery onto God's Living Waters...

I envisioned and imagined floating in the very clear, warm, and comforting waters of His River of Life, and as I floated along, with God by my side, I felt my tensions melting away. But then a memory of some of the weekend's miseries would infiltrate its way into my head all at once and would immediately throw me back into my turmoil.

  

Time after time these violations would ply their way into my mind and heart. 

At each of those times, God gently spoke to me and said, 

"Let it go; just let it float off of you." 

No sooner would He say that than I would see the incident almost as a rectangular weight lodging upon me that would begin to lose its weightiness, become light enough to float, and then simply slither off of me and float away, tormenting me no more. It continued until several of the torments were lifted from me in a similar way, as I let them go and watched them slither off of me and just float away. 

What  a soothing, comforting experience. It was literally a playing out of Psalm 23 that I often meditate to as I do my deep breathing to try to go to sleep, for He, my Shepherd, was "leading me beside the still waters," helping me to "lie down in green pastures," yet here, they were His living waters; He was even leading me down the path of righteousness as He led me one by one to lay my grievances down and let them go, so that time after time, 

He was effectually restoring my soul. 

It was God's transformative grace at work.

It was a beautiful meditation that He inspired and then entered into, bringing me healing manifestations that I could never have accomplished on my own. By the time I saw my clients, I was fine and was able to attend to their very pressing needs.

What a tender, empathic Savior we serve. His gentle grace overcame the raucous battle that I had allowed into my heart and soul, and He did it all so lovingly, no judgments against me, just gentleness. 

I even cried out in the middle of it regarding what my child may have gone through before she was killed, 

and He gently reminded me, 

"But it got her to where she needed to be," 

which I knew was true. 

Her heart indeed was made ready to see her God, and she had responded to Him just two days before she ultimately was to go and be with Him. The particular manifestations of our suffering don't really matter once we enter into the Savior's arms where He turns our mourning into joy, and so despite this angst, I settled down and knew she was okay ~ He was taking care of her just as He was taking care of me. And so even that pain and agony melted away and released from me. 

Our loving Savior enters into our pain, bringing His presence and His comfort, ever nurturing our broken hearts, both mine here on earth, and my precious child's, up in Heaven. Anything else on this earth pales in comparison!

Picture of Living Waters, thanks to
photobucket.com :
 photo 2013-08-15204057.jpg

Graphic 2, thanks to
Nativity Pageant of Knoxville

Tuesday's Trust - May the Lord Shepherd You in Your Grief

Tuesday's Trust 

May the Lord Shepherd You in Your Grief

Psalm 23 contains some of the most-quoted verses in the Bible. Often they are used at funerals, perhaps even at your child’s funeral. 

After attending the conference this last weekend and attending a workshop by Linda Stirling, I feel that the Lord is challenging me to share my thoughts with you, just as Linda shared her thoughts with so many of us. 

For the next seven days, I will share a portion of Psalm 23. My challenge to you is to read the words, mull over them, let them roll around in your mind and make their way down to your heart. In doing so, the Lord will simultaneously do what He does best…. Shepherd your pain and heal your wounds.

Here we go, are you ready?

The Lord is My Shepherd. 

This picture encapsulates what I imagine when I think of Jesus as my Shepherd. I am safe in His arms. I am loved in His arms. I am held and cherished. All of me. Every inch. Every ounce. Every beauty. Every moment of ugliness. Every joy. Every sorrow. And as this lamb smiles, the Shepherd smiles greater still as He loves, adores, cherishes and cares for me.

Take some time today. Think about your Shepherd.

~2012: Love and Loss

~~~

~~~

~~~

Psalm 23 contains some of the most-quoted verses in the Bible. Often they are used at funerals, perhaps even at your child’s funeral. 

After attending the conference this last weekend and attending a workshop by Linda Stirling, I feel that the Lord is challenging me to share my thoughts with you, just as Linda shared her thoughts with so many of us. 

For the next seven days, I will share a portion of Psalm 23. My challenge to you is to read the words, mull over them, let them roll around in your mind and make their way down to your heart. In doing so, the Lord will simultaneously do what He does best…. Shepherd your pain and heal your wounds.

Here we go, are you ready?

The Lord is My Shepherd. 

This picture encapsulates what I imagine when I think of Jesus as my Shepherd. I am safe in His arms. I am loved in His arms. I am held and cherished. All of me. Every inch. Every ounce. Every beauty. Every moment of ugliness. Every joy. Every sorrow. And as this lamb smiles, the Shepherd smiles greater still as He loves, adores, cherishes and cares for me.

Take some time today. Think about your Shepherd.

~2012: Love and Loss

~~~

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.

~Psalm 23:1

~~~

Day Three of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Restores My Soul Restoration comes one moment at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time, one year at a time. Restoration comes as we release our pain to the One who longs to relieve us of our pain.  He has restored my soul. And although it has been 23 years since I've seen my daughter, and gentle tears sometimes fall, I can say that He has done what I never imagined possible. Trust Him...

~2012: Love and Loss 

~~~

Day Four of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Guides Me

Jesus wants to guide us through our grief. He knows the Valley of the Shadow of Death is filled with twists and turns. Obstacles and troubles. Pain and sorrow.

He wants to use His staff to guide us when we don't know what to do. He wants to use His staff to prod us when we feel like we can't get out of bed or to take the next step.

Even more importantly, He wants to guide us with His love. Will you let Him today?

~2012: Love and Loss 

~~~

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures;

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

~Psalm 23:2

~~~

Day Five of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Leads Me to Still Waters

Water is life. We were nurtured in water before we were born. Our Lord wants to nurture us in water. Near water. 

Water gives life. It provides what we need to survive. Our Lord wants to be that water for us. 

Water brings peace. Our Lord wants to take our surging emotions and bring us to a place of calm serenity. He closes the emotional sea behind the doors of still water.

~2012: Love and Loss

~~~

Day Six of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Walks with Me

He walks with me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. He is with us when we face death. He is with us after the loss. He is with us through the deep darkness. He is with us when we emerge into the light.

~2012: Love and Loss

~~~

Day Seven of Psalm 23: My Shepherd Pursues Me

How thankful I am that I am not alone in my grief. The Lord sees me. The Lord loves me. The Lord pursues me. He comes down to where I am and says, "I am here. I am with you. I will not leave your side." 

There is no greater joy in knowing that I matter that much to Him. That my child mattered that much to Him.

~2012: Love and Loss

~~~~

He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

~Psalm 23:3

~~~

Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I wilt fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.

~Psalm 23:4

~~~

~~~

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemy; Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

~Psalm 23: 4-5

Graphics, thanks to ~2012: Love and Loss, and ~Hers to Treasure