Thursday's Therapy - 3 Tips to Shrink Anxiety

Thursday's Therapy

3 Tips to Shrink Anxiety

Tommy and I will never forget when at a Grief and Trauma seminar by Therese Rando, that Therese asked, 

"What is the premier emotion that a Child-Loss Griever experiences?"  

Answer: "Anxiety"! 

We are finding that observation to be oh-so-true, somewhat because we are still unsure of what our grieving bodies and hearts can and cannot do!!!

So, we hope the following article from PsychCentral will be of help to many of us Child-Loss grievers as we learn to cope with that anxiety more effectively:

3 Tips for Using Exercise to Shrink Anxiety

By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.

Associate Editor

We know that exercise is a boon for our mental, physical and emotional health. And it’s particularly helpful for easing anxiety.  “[M]oderate exercise has been shown to have a significant effect on anxiety and mood,” said Marla Deibler, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and director of The Center for Emotional Health of Greater Philadelphia, LLC.

For instance, exercise reduces the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. And it stimulates the production of feel-good endorphins.

It also leads to an increase in activity levels in the serotonergic system, which may help to decrease anxiety and improve mood, Deibler said.

Plus, “moderate to intense exercise raises core body temperature, which is accompanied by a simultaneous reduction in muscle tension, thereby affecting the experience of anxiety.”

So if all this can help, how can you motivate yourself to do more of it?

Recently, researchers have been exploring another hypothesis behind the benefits of exercise in easing anxiety: Inflammation and oxidative and nitrogen stress (O&NS) may play a role in contributing to anxiety, while exercise may act as “anti-inflammatory and anti-O&NS agent,” according to the authors.

So, whether you struggle with occasional anxiety or a diagnosable disorder, exercise can help. It’s a powerful part of your self-care routine and an effective adjunct to anxiety treatment. Below, experts shared how to make the most of movement in minimizing your anxiety.

1. Find Activities You Enjoy

According to the experts, the best physical activities are the ones you actually enjoy doing and will continue doing. “With the exception of yoga, which has specifically been shown to be helpful, research does not specify what activities are better than others [for anxiety],” said Deibler, who also pens the Psych Central blog "Therapy That Works."

So what are your favorite ways to move? What activities did you love to do as a child? What just sounds like fun to you? What activities have you always wanted to try?

Ideally, you can participate in physical activities “at least five times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes,” said Maura Mulligan, LICSW, the director of the Center for Wellness at Wentworth Institute of Technology. 

But you can start by figuring out what activities you’d like to do at least three times a week.

You might not notice significant improvement in your anxiety right away. It might take regular exercise — three to five times a week — for several weeks, she said. 

To observe your improvement, Mulligan suggested journaling your symptoms for four to six weeks.

2. Sample a Variety of Activities

Mulligan encouraged readers “to try many different activities and to not give up if one or two are not well received.” Think of this as an experiment that’ll help you explore your exercise likes and dislikes and boost your well-being.

For instance, yoga is “very helpful in having individuals focus on breathing techniques and quieting their mind, which are useful skills in anxiety reduction.”

Other activities you might try, she said, are: swimming, running, dancing, taking long walks, hiking and participating in classes at the gym. 

And, again, remember to focus on activities that feel good for you. “What works for one person may not be useful or enjoyable for another.”

3. Practice Meditation

Carla Naumburg, Ph.D, a clinical social worker and author of the Psych Central blog, "Mindful Parenting," suggested cultivating a daily meditation practice.

This study showed the brain mechanisms involved in bringing anxiety relief while meditating. 

Positive changes have even been observed when meditators aren’t meditating.

“You can meditate inside or outside, any time of day or night, as long as you won’t be disturbed.”

Meditation isn’t about eliminating your thoughts. It’s about learning “to observe them and let them go.” The easiest place to start is probably your breath.

Start by simply noticing your breath “coming and going.” Another option is to count your breaths to 10, and then begin at 1. Whenever your mind naturally wanders, just start counting again, she said.

Naumburg also suggested starting with just two minutes of meditating a day. “If you can do that for a few days in a row, bump it up to three or four minutes.” Also, learn the language of mindfulness, she said. Check out Mindful.org and Susan Salzberg’s book Real Happiness, which includes audio of guided meditations.

Physical activities are a healthy way to minimize anxiety. Remember that the key is to find activities you genuinely enjoy, and practice them regularly. 

Article: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/07/17/3-tips-for-using-exercise-to-shrink-anxiety/

Thursday's Therapy - 7 Tips to Boost Your Brain ~Women's Health Magazine

Thursday's Therapy

7 Tips to Boost Your Brain

~Women's Health Magazine

Brainpower: Sharpen Your Mind

7 mind-boosting tips to boost your brainpower and memory and sharpen your mind

~Cristina Goyanes

Of all the things you've got on your mind — work, bills, that weird, new stain on the kitchen floor — your mind probably isn't one of them. But now that you've started blanking on your own cell phone number and freezing when the ATM asks for your PIN, maybe it's time to start thinking about it. See, your brain tissue is steadily being chipped away — some of it by the natural aging process and some of it by such brain shrinkers as stress and cigarettes. Luckily, there are ways to strengthen your brainpower the way you build your abs. All it takes is a quick seven-step diet and exercise plan designed to boost your memory, attention span, and all the other things that will restore your skull-covered hard drive to its maximum power.



Brain Booster 1: Your Heart

The reason you misplace keys or can't remember what you ate 9 minutes ago? Normal aging shrinks neurons (brain cells) and drains neurotransmitters (the messengers that communicate between and among cells). But getting your heart rate up can reverse this process by increasing blood flow to the brain to improve memory and overall brain function, says Arthur Kramer, Ph.D., a professor of cognitive neuroscience at the University of Illinois.

"We examined brain structure before and after fitness training and we found increases of brain volume in a number of areas," 

says Dr. Kramer, whose patients improved 10 to 15 percent on a variety of memory and attention tasks after exercise. The minimum:

You can reap benefits from as little as walking 30 minutes three times a week.

Brain Booster 2: Your Back

Hauling your everyday (80-pound) shoulder bag can leave you tired. Carrying whiny kids can leave you frazzled. And both may injure your back — and your brain — in the process. A recent Northwestern University study found that people who suffered from chronic back pain lost up to 1.5 cubic centimeters (equivalent to 1 teaspoon) of gray matter per year. That's because the area of the brain that copes with the stress of the pain (the lateral prefrontal cortex, for those scoring at home) becomes depleted and dysfunctional enough to affect emotional decision-making, says A. Vania Apkarian, Ph.D., whose previous work found that patients with chronic back pain were slower decision-makers.

Best way to beat back pain: build muscle in your lower back and abdominals to support the spine. Try the reverse trunk curl. Lie flat on your stomach and fold your hands under your chin. Lift your chin and chest off the floor about 3 to 6 inches. Aim for three sets of 10 to 15 repetitions three times a week.



Brain Booster 3: Your Waist

A body mass index below 25 not only means you'll look great in a bikini but that you'll be more likely to remember that you do. A recent Swedish study found that women who had a BMI of 27 (25-30 is considered overweight) were more likely to experience loss of brain tissue in the temporal lobe (that's your brain's main hub for memory function and one of the first areas affected by Alzheimer's). That's because extra fat generates more chemicals that can be toxic to your brain, says Deborah Gustafson, Ph.D., the lead study author and assistant professor at the Institute of Clinical Neuroscience in Sweden.

One class of these chemicals — called free radicals — latches on to cells, disrupts the way they function, and can kill them. Aging naturally chews away at your memory, but excess fat may speed up the process. For each point your BMI increases, your risk increases 12 to 16 percent. "If you decrease your body weight, you're going to slow potential atrophy," says Dr. Gustafson, who recommends a BMI below 25.

Brain Booster 4: Apples

Eat one a day and keep your neurologist away. Researchers from Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, recently discovered that animal brain cells treated with the antioxidant quercetin were able to resist damage from those brain-frying free radical cells (above).

"We know that quercetin, commonly found in apples, has a great potential to protect against chronic diseases, including Alzheimer's," 

says Chang Lee, Ph.D., the principal study author and chair of the department of food science and technology at Cornell. Since fresh apples contain high levels of quercetin, Dr. Lee suggests that one a day may help combat neurodegenerative diseases. Other foods high in quercetin include onions, plums, and berries.

A Kandinsky painting 

Brain Booster 5: Your Desktop Wallpaper

Set up a Kandinsky painting as your desktop wallpaper, and it's like 10 pushups for your brain every time you look at it. Researchers from the University of California at Davis found that the brain first detects recognizable patterns, such as shapes and lines, and then starts to break down new and different elements.

Taking in an eyeful of complex images may ultimately help slow natural brain deterioration, 

says study author Scott Murray, Ph.D., a researcher at the University of Minnesota. Looking at a painting that actively engages your thoughts is far more challenging — and better — for your brain than staring out a window, which likely offers familiar views and much easier interpretation, Dr. Murray says.

Or, as another famous artist Pablo Picasso said,

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."

~Pablo Picasso 

Brain Booster 6: Español

Knowing how to say "Yo quiero Taco Bell" versus knowing how to order your whole meal in Spanish may mean the difference of a few brain cells. A recent study from the University College London found that bilinguals have more gray matter than monolinguals.

"It appears that gray matter, which is critical for performing simple as well as complex tasks, is shaped by what we learn and by our experiences in general," 

says Andrea Mechelli, Ph.D., the lead study author. Even people who picked up a second language at age 35 saw an increase in gray-matter density, says Dr. Mechelli.

Where to start? The easiest second language to learn is the one you're most likely to encounter; for most, that's Spanish. "Find a way to immerse yourself in situations where people are actually using that language," says Dennis Baron, a professor of English and linguistics at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. For other ways, try community college classes, or go online to look at foreign newspapers that have illustrations to help you understand.

Brain Booster 7: The Mall

In a recent study of 1,000 participants, researchers set out to find why 75-year-old women tend to maintain better brain function than 75-year-old men. The result: they shop. That's because shopping requires more physical and mental activity than sitting around and watching golf, says Guy McKhan, M.D., study author and professor at the Mind/Brain Institute at Johns Hopkins University.

"They're being physically active, mentally active, and tend to see themselves as having a role to play in life," 

says Dr. McKhan. Deciding what to buy, for whom, and how much to spend is one way to keep your brain — and your eye for a bargain — active on weekends.

Article:

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/how-to-boost-your-brain-and-memory?cm_mmc=twitter-_-womenshealth-_-content-health-_-brainboostingtips

Thursday's Therapy - Relearning Life ~Tommy and Angie Prince

Thursday's Therapy

Relearning Life 

~Tommy and Angie Prince

A psychiatrist friend of mine, when he heard my child had died, looked me in the eyes, and said, "Learn something new!" I knew he was referring to the new research out that our brains have been traumatized due to the severe stress and trauma that Child-Loss puts parents through. (I just learned recently that my psychiatrist-friend's own wife had endured the loss of a child, so I assume his information had been well-researched by him.) 

So, what is it that we Child-Loss grievers could learn "new" at this particular time in our lives?

Last night we referred to a Child-Loss father having said that his daughter died instantly, but that the Child-Loss father himself believes he is dying a slow death. Perhaps our choice is either to die a slow death, or to "relearn life" as we are discovering that our lives as-we-once-knew-them no longer serve us well. 

Our lives have been compromised… emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, relationally, and in many other ways we are sure. So perhaps "Relearning Life" is the biggest task at hand for us Child-Loss grievers. 

We cannot bring our deceased children back, or that would make up our largest effort, but since it seems we are here to stay a while longer on this earth without our precious deceased child, then learning how to do so in a way that serves us and our grief well may be the best way for us to "learn something new." Perhaps that is why we started this blog, for we knew early on, that this kind of loss was all-consuming and would require almost a whole new science to discover "how then we must live" because, as we all know, there is no "playbook" to follow; we must each create our own.

Graphic, thanks to ~Grieving Mothers

Wednesday's Woe - The Little Engine that Couldn't... ~Tommy Prince

Wednesday's Woe

The Little Engine that Couldn't...

~Tommy Prince

You've heard of the little engine that could; now we've become the little engine that couldn't. Instead of being like the little engine that could, as bereaved parents, we rather feel like a complete train wreck! In the child's storybook, the message to children is, the little engine thought he couldn't, but when he learned to say, "I think I can; I think I can," he gained the courage to push through and overcome his weakness.

But as one father on a forensics show said tonight, 

"My daughter was killed instantly, but ever since, I have been dying a slow death." 

In the bereaved and traumatized state that we find ourselves in, the brain fools us: we think we can go to a party, or we think we can go to a celebration of some kind, as if we are saying "I think I can, I think I can…" But many times we haven't been able to pull it off. And so, we just have to face our "new reality" that our internal train wreck is still in shambles… So now we are back to  saying, "I thought I could, I thought I could…!"

Images, thanks to Amazon.com and Google Images

Saturday's Sayings - The Nature of Grief and Healing… - Part Three

Saturday's Sayings

The Nature of Grief and Healing…

Part Three

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Grief causes a fog to roll into our lives. The fog of grief can affect our ability to think or concentrate. This fog often sets in right after a loved one has died. But even after the shock wears off, the fog can linger or come and go for a long time.

One grieving man told me how he came out of a grocery store, pushed his cart full of groceries to his car, then got in his car and drove home---leaving the groceries behind. Another woman described how she'd read the same page of a book five or six times and still couldn't remember what she'd read.

What happens is that our grief gets so heavy that it surrounds us, clouds our minds, and interferes with our ability to think clearly. We're on overload.

People describe this feeling in many ways: "going through the motions," "a robotic existence," "functioning at 50 percent," "forgetful and confused," on a 10-second time delay," or "disoriented and indecisive," to name just a few.

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I can't stop this pain inside of me

I can't stop the tears from falling

The silence ever after

is such a lonely place to be.

~Grieving Mother, TeriAnn Sargent

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I am the loneliness of the tree as she

loses her falling leaves

I am the long winter that yearns for spring's return

I am the cold wind that blows through the soul

I am the thunder that trembles through the dark night

I am the tears that fall like pouring rain

I am the love without end

I am the grieving heart.

~Grieving mother, TeriAnn Sargent

Graphics, thanks to:
~Grieving Mothers
~2012: Love and Loss
~Out of the Ashes
~2012: Love and Loss
~Grieving mother, Janet Morris Costley
~2012: Love and Loss
~2012: Love and Loss
~2012: Love and Loss
~2012: Love and Loss
~Out of the Ashes
~2012: Love and Loss
~My grieving heart
~2012: Love and Loss
~2012: Love and Loss
~My grieving heart

Wednesday's Woe - "Snapped Shut to Grace"

Wednesday's Woe

"Snapped Shut to Grace"

~Ann Voskamp

“Losses do that. One life-loss can infect the whole of a life. Like a rash that wears through our days, our sight becomes peppered with black voids. Now everywhere we look, we only see all that isn’t: holes, lack, deficiency.” 

~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

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For decades, a life, I continue to flail and strive and come up so seemingly … empty. I haven't lived up to my christening.

Maybe in those first few years my life slowly opened, curled like cupped hands, a receptacle open to the gifts God gives. But of those years, I have no memories. They say memory jolts awake with trauma's electricity. That would be the year I turned four. The year when blood pooled and my sister died and I, all of us, snapped shut to grace.

Standing at the side porch window, watching my parents' stunned bending, I wonder if my mother had held me in those natal moments of naming like she held my sister in death.

In November light, I see my mother and father sitting on the back porch step rocking her swaddled body in their arms. I press my face to the kitchen window, the cold glass, and watch them, watch their lips move, not with sleep prayers, but with pleas for waking, whole and miraculous. It does not come. The police do. They fill out reports. Blood seeps through that blanket bound. I see that too, even now.

Memory's surge burns deep.

That staining of her blood scorches me, but less than the blister of seeing her uncovered, lying there. She had only toddled into the farm lane, wandering after a cat, and I can see the delivery truck driver sitting at the kitchen table, his head in his hands, and I remember how he sobbed that he had never seen her. But I still see her, and I cannot forget. Her body, fragile and small, crushed by a truck's load in our farmyard, blood soaking into the thirsty, track-beaten earth. That's the moment the cosmos shifted, shattering any cupping of hands. …

~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

Thursday's Therapy - Trauma Resets Personality ~Nigel Barber, Ph.D.

Thursday's Therapy

Trauma Resets Personality

~Nigel Barber, Ph.D.  

Trauma Resets Personality

Traumatic events as "deep" as personality.

Published on December 13, 2012 by Nigel Barber, Ph.D. in The Human Beast

Psychologists know that some aspects of personality are virtually unchangeable. These traits are described as “deep,” meaning that they are (a) biologically based and (b) difficult to change (1). You cannot turn a sociopath into a saint or crush the ego of a narcissist.

Such change is theoretically possible but it would require profound changes in brain biology. For instance, researchers shifted polygynous mountain voles to monogamy by altering brain receptors for the hormone oxytocin (2).


Deep means hard to change – not hard to acquire

A trait does not have to be genetically inherited, or even present at birth, to be deep. If you ever felt nauseated by eating porridge as a child, the chances are that you skip the oatmeal when you go out for breakfast decades later. Food aversions are deep, but they can form after a single unpleasant meal, according to experiments on rats.

One of the curious features of personality change is that we are more profoundly altered by highly unpleasant experiences than by highly pleasurable ones, possibly because painful experiences signal imminent threats to survival.

Fear is a powerful motivator. This fact was revealed by animal behaviorists more than half a century ago in research that is ethically questioned today. In shuttle box avoidance, a dog learned that a light coming on at one side of the apparatus was a warning that the floor would be painfully electrified in 10 seconds. Subjects soon learned to jump over a low barrier to reach the safe side of the cage and received no more shocks.

Dogs easily mastered this avoidance task. Researchers now wondered how long it would take them to forget it. They continued the experiment as before but with the shock generator disconnected. To their amazement, the dogs continued to jump as they had when there was a risk of shock. After some 8,000 trials with nothing to report, the scientists reportedly got bored and packed it in.

Fear of physical harm is one important source of psychological problems. Fear of social rejection is less obvious but potentially just as important. A great deal of evidence suggests that corporal punishment, and scolding, make children turn out more aggressive and antisocial (3).

Interestingly, the effects of different kinds of unpleasant experiences on the brain are equivalent because they are mediated by the same stresshormones. Such effects involve alteration in brain anatomy and function (4,5). They include: intellectual stunting; delinquency, poor impulse control; lack of work motivation; and precocious sexuality (3).

It is as though a stressful childhood primes people to focus on immediate gains to themselves regardless of the consequences (3).

Implications for clinical psychology

Clinical psychologists are often called upon to help victims of extremelytraumatic experiences move on with their lives. No one ever claimed that would be easy, and now we are beginning to understand why.

Some unpleasant experiences produce permanent changes in the brain and corresponding shifts in intelligence, emotional reactivity, happiness, sociability, and other traits that used to be thought of as set for life.

These personality shifts are generally considered pathological and that is undoubtedly true of post traumatic stress disorder, which ruins the lives of sufferers and their families. Yet, we need to recognize that many of these changes were useful to our ancestors in adjusting to risky environments.

Picture, thanks to ~Remembering Loved Ones
Article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/em/113255
Sources:

1. Seligman, M.E. P. (1993). What you can change and what you can’t. New York: Fawcett Columbine.

2. Young, L. J., Murphy Young, A. Z., & Hammock, E. A. (2005). Anatomy and neurochemistry of the pair bond. Journal of Comparative Neurology, 493, 51-57.

3. Barber, N. (2009). From steroids to nation states: An integrated evolutionary approach to violent crime. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 14, 415-422.

4. Kalinichev, M., K. W. Easterling, P. M. Plotsky, and S. G. Holtzgman. (2002). Long-lasting changes in stress-induced corticosterone response and anxiety-like behaviors as a consequence of neonatal maternal separation in Long-Evans rats. Pharmacology Biochemistry and Behavior, 73, 131-140.

5. Teicher, M. H., Andersen, S. L., Polcari, A., Anderson, C. M., and Navalta, C. P. (2002). Developmental neurobiology of childhood stress and trauma. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 25, 397-426.

Saturday's Sayings - Holding Onto Hope… Amidst Despair

Saturday's Sayings

Holding Onto Hope… Amidst Despair

~"Grief The Unspoken" 

No matter how you want to

spin it "Letting Go" has never

set well with many 

grievers. Letting go sounds 

like a direction given. We

should replace the two short 

words to "Healing Is 

Possible." Passing along hope

is what is needed. Not

direction. There are plenty of

teachers and others out in our 

world ready to give me help

with my grief. But if a person

has no hope, it makes it

difficult for the griever to

choose healing.

~~~~~

Speaking of Hope… Then, there are the days when it seems everything, including hope, is knocked out from under you… We have just been through an "anniversary" ~ of yet another birthday… without our child… And for whatever reasons, the bottom was knocked out from under us, and we went spiraling down to a deeper level of grief from which it has been terribly hard to surface for air… O, the pain of feeling such moments of hopelessness, helplessness, and despair...

~Angie and Tommy

~Wings of Hope-Living Forward

I have found in the years that have passed that I am most vulnerable at times of remembrance.  The word "anniversary" no longer holds a promise of celebration.  Instead, holidays and birthdays, family gatherings and otherwise joyous occasions contain an undertow of sorrow.  If I get caught up in it, I quickly get pulled under and wind up gasping for breath.  It is ironic that the presence of an absence can be so emotionally devastating. – Bill Jenkins ~Wings of Hope - Living Forward

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~Remembering Sleeping Babies 

Grief rarely comes packaged in tidy stages with time frames for each. While grief can begin with disbelief, move to anger, sadness and end with acceptance, these reactions can just as readily occur every day following a loss. They may be stronger in the weeks or months after the loss and diminish as time goes on, but they may also be minimal at first or suppressed and then surge up powerfully long after one thinks one "should" be grieving.

The important aspect to remember in relation to grief is that there is no timetable to it nor any "normal" manifestations. Some people cry endlessly while others merely become quiet, some make themselves extremely busy while others sink into inertness. For some, anger predominates and for others it is deep sadness. Grief is more like a rollercoaster of emotions that rise and subside over a period of months or even years than a set of fixed reactions that one passes through and is finished with.

One will experience days of calm when acceptance seems to have finally arrived followed by a time perhaps of renewed rage or weeping. Of course, significant anniversaries will likely rupture one's emotional stability again. Coming across memorabilia, photographs or passing through a place of importance to the loved and lost one can also lead to a welling of grief once more.

~Wings of Hope-Living Forward

~Thanks to Grieving Mother, Lu Prudhomme

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~"Grief The Unspoken" 

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~Remembering Sleeping Babies

“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. 

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. 

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. 

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. 

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. 

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. 

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. 

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. 

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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~I Miss Those Close To Me Who Are Now In Heaven As Beautiful Angels

When others allow a parent or family to openly and freely talk to them about their child who has died, they are allowing that parent the blessing of remembering that child's life, validating that their child had purpose and meaning, and they are helping that parent to be a parent. Just because a child dies does not mean a parent is no longer a parent! And, as we know, every parent loves to talk about his/her child -- even if that child is no longer here on earth! It is such a blessing for others to say, "I remember your child, too! I have a story to tell you." Or, if the child loss occurred during miscarriage or other early loss, "I was so happy for you when you were pregnant. I'm praying for you and hope your heart isn't feeling so broken today." Eloquent words aren't needed, but caring words are!

~Silent Grief - Child-Loss Support

~Thanks to Grieving Mother, Kathryn Bonnett

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~"Grief The Unspoken" 

You're Still Here - Richard Lepinsky

At the finest level of my being,

you're still with me.

We still look at each other,

at that level beyond sight.

We talk and laugh with each other,

in a place beyond words.

We still touch each other,

on a level beyond touch.

We share time together in a place,

where time stands still.

We are still together,

on a level called Love.

But I cry alone for you,

in a place called reality.

~~~~~

~Out of the Ashes 

“Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.”

~Elisabeth Elliot

~Thanks to Hope for the Broken Hearted

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~Out of the Ashes 

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~Remembering Sleeping Babies 

1st Picture, thanks to ~"Grief The Unspoken"